A/N: Here's the next Fearless Leader disclaimer. Hope you like it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xander: "So what's up with the whole 'Fearless Leader' thing? Doesn't she have a real name?"
Author: "Yes she had a real name, but for the sake of what's left of her dignity, she has decided to remain anonymous."
Buffy: "what about you? You have a name?"
Author *exasperated: "Yes I have a name!"
Pause.
Xander: "Well?"
Author: " I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
Xander: " and oh, gee, I'm feeling threatened because we've never heard anyone say THAT before..."
Author: "ok, ok. You may call me Captain!"
Anya: "Fearless Leader? Captain? see what i told you about control issues Dawn? this is obviously a plea for attention."
Expecting an answer and not getting one, Anya looked around, "Dawn?"
Buffy: "Oh god, we've lost Dawn!"
Spike: " I'm sure Nibblet's around here somewhere safe pet."
He raised an eyebrow at captain, "Right?"
Captain: "um... " (sigh) " I have a bad feeling about this. let's go find fearless leader."
"AAAGHH!"
Buffy: "Dawn!"
The group runs until they find themselves in a forest clearing. Dawn is tied to a turn-spit over a blazing bonfire. They find Fearless leader bedecked in war paint serenely beating a drum with one hand, and turning the spit with the other.
"okay... I'm thinking 'NO!' " Captain snaps fingers and bonfire disappears, leaving Dawn and Fearless Leader standing in the clearing.
Fearless Leader: "HEY! you can't do that! It was a direct violation of Code 4!"
Captain: "Code 4?"
Fearless Leader: "The rule stating that as long as we're in the disclaimer, you are not to interfere with the plot! The sacrifice of the ear-bursting, shrieking one was ESSENTIAL to the plot!"
Captain *patronizingly* : "Fearless Leader?"
Fearless leader: "Yes?"
Captain: "Did you make up Code 4?"
Fearless Leader: "Umm...uh...cow?"
Captain (sigh): you can't kill the characters.
Fearless leader (looking sad): "oh. ok."(snaps HER fingers) Dawn is now buried up to her neck in sand. and before any of the others can protest she speaks up... "Ok, now, you can be noble and try to rescue Dawn -who isn't going to die anyway-"(scowl)"or you can go back to the shrine, drink mai tais, and spend a few hours without your ears bleeding."
Before she can even finish speaking, the others had run off in search of little umbrellas to put in their Mai Tais. all except Buffy.
Buffy: "I'm not letting you-"
"They have ice cream." Fearless leader interrupts.
Buffy's eyes light up. "Ice cream?"
Dawn: "BUFFY!"
fearless leader "accidentally" trips and wraps Dawn's head in Duct tape. "clumsy me!" (dangles gold watch in front of Buffy's face)"Ice cream Buffy...ice cream. MAGICAL ice cream, that wont make you fat..."
Buffy scampers back to the others.
Fearless leader grins. "Oh, good!" (sits down and contentedly starts tapping Dawn's nose with a red plastic sand shovel.)
Captain (buries head in hands): "Oh, lordy..."
Fearless Leader (still tapping): "Joss owns all, lalala lala..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Xander: "So what's up with the whole 'Fearless Leader' thing? Doesn't she have a real name?"
Author: "Yes she had a real name, but for the sake of what's left of her dignity, she has decided to remain anonymous."
Buffy: "what about you? You have a name?"
Author *exasperated: "Yes I have a name!"
Pause.
Xander: "Well?"
Author: " I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."
Xander: " and oh, gee, I'm feeling threatened because we've never heard anyone say THAT before..."
Author: "ok, ok. You may call me Captain!"
Anya: "Fearless Leader? Captain? see what i told you about control issues Dawn? this is obviously a plea for attention."
Expecting an answer and not getting one, Anya looked around, "Dawn?"
Buffy: "Oh god, we've lost Dawn!"
Spike: " I'm sure Nibblet's around here somewhere safe pet."
He raised an eyebrow at captain, "Right?"
Captain: "um... " (sigh) " I have a bad feeling about this. let's go find fearless leader."
"AAAGHH!"
Buffy: "Dawn!"
The group runs until they find themselves in a forest clearing. Dawn is tied to a turn-spit over a blazing bonfire. They find Fearless leader bedecked in war paint serenely beating a drum with one hand, and turning the spit with the other.
"okay... I'm thinking 'NO!' " Captain snaps fingers and bonfire disappears, leaving Dawn and Fearless Leader standing in the clearing.
Fearless Leader: "HEY! you can't do that! It was a direct violation of Code 4!"
Captain: "Code 4?"
Fearless Leader: "The rule stating that as long as we're in the disclaimer, you are not to interfere with the plot! The sacrifice of the ear-bursting, shrieking one was ESSENTIAL to the plot!"
Captain *patronizingly* : "Fearless Leader?"
Fearless leader: "Yes?"
Captain: "Did you make up Code 4?"
Fearless Leader: "Umm...uh...cow?"
Captain (sigh): you can't kill the characters.
Fearless leader (looking sad): "oh. ok."(snaps HER fingers) Dawn is now buried up to her neck in sand. and before any of the others can protest she speaks up... "Ok, now, you can be noble and try to rescue Dawn -who isn't going to die anyway-"(scowl)"or you can go back to the shrine, drink mai tais, and spend a few hours without your ears bleeding."
Before she can even finish speaking, the others had run off in search of little umbrellas to put in their Mai Tais. all except Buffy.
Buffy: "I'm not letting you-"
"They have ice cream." Fearless leader interrupts.
Buffy's eyes light up. "Ice cream?"
Dawn: "BUFFY!"
fearless leader "accidentally" trips and wraps Dawn's head in Duct tape. "clumsy me!" (dangles gold watch in front of Buffy's face)"Ice cream Buffy...ice cream. MAGICAL ice cream, that wont make you fat..."
Buffy scampers back to the others.
Fearless leader grins. "Oh, good!" (sits down and contentedly starts tapping Dawn's nose with a red plastic sand shovel.)
Captain (buries head in hands): "Oh, lordy..."
Fearless Leader (still tapping): "Joss owns all, lalala lala..."