(* = thoughts and actions)
"Here?"
"No...a little to the left. Wait, no. Back to the right a second. Oh, this is all wrong. We'll just have to redo the whole thing."
Captain strolls up: "Fearless Leader....what the....."
Fearless Leader (cheerily) : "I've decided to furnish the clearing. Spike's helping me move things around."
Captain (sigh) : "If this is your plot to kill Dawn with a couch..."
Fearless Leader: *Couches...that's good. Damn it, why didn't I think of that? Ok, that's going on the list, right below chainsaws*
F.L. (aloud) " I am insulted you would think I had some ulterior motive. I mean, is it so wrong to try and make everyone a little more comfy? You're always jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst! I'm not completely selfish you know!"
Spike: "That's right! If she hadn't warned me about the allergic reaction my shirt would have caused when it chafed with the couch material, I wouldn't have even thought to take it off..."
Captain: (gives Fearless Leader "the look") "Just how long have you been moving furniture?"
Fearless Leader: (shifts nervously) "umm...*cough* six hours *couch*" (suddenly gets deffensive) "It takes professional movers about that long!"
Captain: "True."
Fearless Leader (prepares to stick out tongue and do an 8-year-old "I win" dance)
Captain: "But there's one small difference."
Oh shit. Not The Tone. The Tone strikes fear into the heart of any creature. The Tone was the verbal version of a Redneck soap opera. As in: "Jim Bob, I'm leaving you for my cousin, a hurricane swept away the trailer, your dog's dead, and we're out of beer," It meant you were fucked.
Captain: "You only have 3 pieces of furniture!"
Fearless Leader: "Hey, the Feng Shui in this place was all wrong..." (looks pitingly at Captain) "I know what's the matter- I've been selfish. Tell you what. I'll make you 4 inches taller, get you a smoothie, and we can watch Spike move boulders around, to be more asthetically pleasing."
Captain looks intrigued: "We can do that?"
F.L.: "Ah, the perks of writing the disclaimer."
(Captain settles happily onto the couch) : "Wait, this is wrong."
F.L.: "What?"
C: "Maybe you should tell Spike the dangers of wearing jeans while performing streanous excerise. That's a proven fact you know."
F.L.: *tsk, tsk, tsk* "What would he do without us watching out for his well-being?"
C: "Probably wearing clothes."
F.L.: "Well, we can't have that..."
Joss, you are a sad, sadistic angst-loving bastard, and I hate you....but you own all.(You little closet Lord of the Rings geek)
"Here?"
"No...a little to the left. Wait, no. Back to the right a second. Oh, this is all wrong. We'll just have to redo the whole thing."
Captain strolls up: "Fearless Leader....what the....."
Fearless Leader (cheerily) : "I've decided to furnish the clearing. Spike's helping me move things around."
Captain (sigh) : "If this is your plot to kill Dawn with a couch..."
Fearless Leader: *Couches...that's good. Damn it, why didn't I think of that? Ok, that's going on the list, right below chainsaws*
F.L. (aloud) " I am insulted you would think I had some ulterior motive. I mean, is it so wrong to try and make everyone a little more comfy? You're always jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst! I'm not completely selfish you know!"
Spike: "That's right! If she hadn't warned me about the allergic reaction my shirt would have caused when it chafed with the couch material, I wouldn't have even thought to take it off..."
Captain: (gives Fearless Leader "the look") "Just how long have you been moving furniture?"
Fearless Leader: (shifts nervously) "umm...*cough* six hours *couch*" (suddenly gets deffensive) "It takes professional movers about that long!"
Captain: "True."
Fearless Leader (prepares to stick out tongue and do an 8-year-old "I win" dance)
Captain: "But there's one small difference."
Oh shit. Not The Tone. The Tone strikes fear into the heart of any creature. The Tone was the verbal version of a Redneck soap opera. As in: "Jim Bob, I'm leaving you for my cousin, a hurricane swept away the trailer, your dog's dead, and we're out of beer," It meant you were fucked.
Captain: "You only have 3 pieces of furniture!"
Fearless Leader: "Hey, the Feng Shui in this place was all wrong..." (looks pitingly at Captain) "I know what's the matter- I've been selfish. Tell you what. I'll make you 4 inches taller, get you a smoothie, and we can watch Spike move boulders around, to be more asthetically pleasing."
Captain looks intrigued: "We can do that?"
F.L.: "Ah, the perks of writing the disclaimer."
(Captain settles happily onto the couch) : "Wait, this is wrong."
F.L.: "What?"
C: "Maybe you should tell Spike the dangers of wearing jeans while performing streanous excerise. That's a proven fact you know."
F.L.: *tsk, tsk, tsk* "What would he do without us watching out for his well-being?"
C: "Probably wearing clothes."
F.L.: "Well, we can't have that..."
Joss, you are a sad, sadistic angst-loving bastard, and I hate you....but you own all.(You little closet Lord of the Rings geek)