Chapter Eleven: Late Night Confessions
"Ugh!" Cordy said, as she released her half of Angelus, letting the unconscious vampire fall on the bed face first. "Someone needs to cut back on the blood!"
"He is dead weight," Buffy pointed out, before rolling her eyes at her own bad pun, as she rolled the vampire over onto his back. "Never mind." Turning to Mr. Fox, who hovered in the doorway to the room with the others, she asked, "You ready?"
The man shook his head and swallowed hard as he tentatively stepped into the room.
Seeing the man's hesitation, Cordelia snorted, "It's not like this is our lair or anything. It's just a room."
Although Mr. Fox didn't comment, neither time traveler was sure he entirely believed the seer's words. While Buffy and Cordy quickly worked at attaching the shackles around Angelus' wrists and ankles to the iron bed frame, Mr. Fox drew magical supplies from his pockets.
The group had decided the best thing to do with the dangerous vampire was to chain him up back in the vampires' rented room and erase his memory. Buffy and Cordy had carried the larger man between them, one of his arms over each woman's shoulders like he'd had too much to drink as they traveled the streets. The three men, Mr. Fox, Richard, and William followed at a slight distance. At first they'd been unwilling to let the two women bear Angelus' weight, but Buffy had insisted, not only because of the vampire strength she and Cordelia now possessed, but also because if Angelus woke during the journey, both of the women stood a better chance defending themselves. As a result of her adamant refusal to even consider another option, the three men had followed close enough to be in range, but far enough to be disassociated with the group, so as not to attract undue attention about why the women were doing the heavy lifting.
When Angelus awoke, Cordy assured them he'd assume he'd done something to anger Darla and blame the blonde for his current position. As a finishing touch, when he was firmly secured to the bed frame, Cordelia dug around the room until she found a bottle of something that smelled like whiskey and liberally poured in over the vampire, adding to the illusion of a drunken Angelus angering his mercurial sire to the point of her restraining him.
The two women stepped back, and Buffy pulled Richard and William in from the doorway before closing it securely behind her. Seeing that the two men were as skittish as Mr. Fox to be in an enclosed room that was, for all intents and purposes, the vampires' territory, she sighed before reiterating. "We're not going to hurt you."
"I know," Richard replied. "But that doesn't make reconciling who you are with the body you're currently inhabiting any easier."
Buffy nodded in understanding and kept her distance. William seemed less concerned by their location and her proximity, and Buffy chalked what nervousness he was exhibiting up to the discomfort he was picking up off his cousin and uncle. Probably because he hasn't grown up hearing horror stories about vampires, she thought. It's helpful now, but that trusting nature'll get him killed someday. An uneasy knot formed in her stomach and Buffy realized the irony of her thoughts. Pushing thoughts she wasn't ready to deal with out of her head, Buffy returned her attention to the others.
The four young people (in mind, at least) watched in silence as Mr. Fox preformed the spell to erase Angelus' memory of the last day or so. When he finished he nodded and, checking the chains himself, the three men stepped out of the room so the women could change the dresses they'd been wearing for the past two days. Once they finished, the five left the inn, heading back towards the Fox residence.
"I'm sorry we can't remember how to do the uninvite," Cordy offered into the silence that had fallen over the group, now less one unconscious vampire. "But hopefully this memory spell will keep him from finding your house again."
"Hopefully," Mr. Fox echoed in a voice that didn't indicate much confidence in the sentiment he was expressing. Shaking his head, he continued in a more upbeat tone, "But there's nothing more we can do, short of moving. The spell works. We'll be fine."
Silence once more descended over the group, and they continued walking, each lost to his or her own thoughts. When they reached the Fox residence, after convincing William he'd be much better off to stay the night there than return home through the dark streets, Cordy and Buffy retired to the guest room the Slayer had previously occupied. Cordy was mildly amused to hear the click of a key in the door's lock as Mr. Fox took them up on their offer of being locked in the room for the night. She rolled her eyes, but Buffy only shrugged.
"Could be worse," she offered. "We kept Spike chained in a bathtub for a couple of weeks when he first came to us."
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"And you're sure he saw nothing?"
"We had him blindfolded and we didn't say anything around him while he was here." Willow's sigh echoed down the phone line into Wesley's ear as she finished explaining what had occurred when she'd sent Spike's spirit back in time, trading it for William's.
"And you're sure Buffy won't figure out what to do?" the ex-watcher asked.
"I'd say she's got a better than average chance of figuring it out," Willow said. "I mean, that's kind of her thing. Whether she'll do it is the real question. Spike's sure she won't, but I'm…I don't know. I'd rather not force her to make that decision. It'd be better if we could just find out who's responsible for the spell and get them to reverse it."
"We're still working on our lead here," Wesley said.
"Right," Willow said, her voice hesitant. "The lawyers?"
"Yes," Wesley replied. "It's rather a long story, but there's a law firm here in LA always trying to turn Angel evil."
"Oh," Willow replied, deciding that was enough of an explanation for now. "So, how does Spike fit into this?"
"Although this is more subtle than most of their plans," Wesley said, "It's fair to assume that by taking Spike out of the mix, Angel's life will be changed enough that he doesn't come into contact with the gypsies, thus never getting cursed."
"That's a pretty big chance, though," Willow said. "Wouldn't it be easier to just send someone back to when the curse was going to happen and make sure it doesn't?"
"Undoubedly," Wesley agreed. "However, if Cordelia or Buffy were sent back then and figured it out, I can see either one dragging Angel to the gypsies to get cursed. This way, the time line branches off nearly twenty years earlier, and success is more likely."
"Why send Buffy and Cordelia? Why not just send someone who knows what's going on?"
"I suspect," Wesley replied, "that their agenda is not only to change the past, but to cause Angel great amounts of pain by taking away those which he loves in order to break him."
"That makes sense," Willow said thoughtfully. "Wait, those which he loves?"
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"Do you love him?"
Buffy groaned and rubbed her hands over her eyes, half wondering if she could ignore the woman sitting next to her on the bed.
"Look," Cordy said. "I know we're not best buds, but sometimes it helps to talk to someone outside the situation. And I've gotten a lot more understanding over the years. Maybe I can help."
As Buffy considered Cordelia's question, the automatic denial she expected to rise to her lips refused to come. However, neither did an affirmative answer. After a long pause, the Slayer sighed deeply and admitted softly, "I don't know."
Cordelia's brow wrinkled in confusion, but when she spoke, none of the bitchiness Buffy expected accompanied her question, just soft concern. "How can you not know?"
"I just…" Buffy's fingers played with the edge of the bed's quilt as she stared at the opposite wall, not really seeing it. "I care about him. I missed him when he was gone. And, he loves me. I mean, he really loves me. For so long I didn't think a soulless creature could love, but he proved me wrong. I treated him like dirt, and he still loved me. He changed his whole world for me. Not because I asked, or because he was forced into choosing, but he voluntarily sought out pain and torment so he could be what I always told him he had to be for me to love him."
"Buffy," Cordy said softly. "What are you talking about?"
"I told him I couldn't love him because he didn't have a soul." The other looked up at her tearfully, and Cordy caught a glimpse of the woman Drusilla could have become had Angelus not focused his obsession on her. While she had never known the human version of the dark-haired vampire, Cordy was floored by the humanity and guilt shining in her dark eyes as Buffy looked out. Then, the Slayer's words caught up to her, and Cordelia realized what Buffy was implying.
"He got a soul?" At Buffy confirming nod, Cordy breathed out her next question. "How?"
"I don't know." Buffy smiled wanly through her tears as she admitted this fact. "He disappeared one day, and then, just showed up a few months later."
"Is it . . ." Cordelia trailed off, unsure of her question, very aware that while they were discussing Spike, Buffy had also been very much in love with Angel. "I mean, is he…"
"Is it a curse?" Buffy asked wryly. "I don't know." She shook her head before adding decisively, "It better not be."
Cordy burst out laughing at the look of horror and embarrassment that crossed Drusilla's features when Buffy realized the implications of her last comment.
"I mean…that…um," the Slayer sputtered for a moment before joining Cordy in laughter. "I guess I meant what I said."
As their laughter quieted down, Buffy sighed. "It's just so confusing."
"Are you afraid if you love him he'll hurt you like Angel did?" Cordy asked gently.
"He already did," Buffy answered, sounding small and defeated. "Before he left, the one thing I thought I knew for sure was that he wouldn't hurt me. I always said I didn't trust him, that I couldn't. But, it wouldn't have hurt so much when he proved me right if I hadn't trusted him at least a little." Sighing in frustration, Buffy threw her hands in the air. "Why can't I just find a nice, normal, picket fence kind of guy?"
"If someone came up and offered you the life of your dreams, you wouldn't take it anymore than I did," Cordy said decisively.
"Huh?" Buffy asked, confused.
"Long story." The seer waved her hand dismissively before continuing. "The point is, what we do is important. It's often hard, and painful, but somebody needs to do it. More than that, it's the right thing to do. If not you, then who? Let's face it Buffy, if anyone's earned the right to find a nice human…ish boy and ride off into the sunset, it's you."
Buffy's eyes narrowed as she listened to Cordelia's speech, sensing there was more to the seer's impassioned words than simply her opinion on Buffy's life.
"But that's not who you are. You can't turn your back on the good fight any more than you could turn it on your friends. It's okay if you love him. It's okay if you don't. But don't refuse to give him a chance just because of what he is. He's not the vampire he once was. From what you've told me, he hasn't been that for a long time. It's not fair to him, and it's not fair to you."
"We're not still talking about me and Spike, are we?" Buffy asked cautiously.
Cordy's eyes widened almost comically, and panic briefly flashed across her features before she clamped down on her emotions and started to protest Buffy's query vehemently.
"Cordy," the other woman mercifully cut her off before her rambling got out of control. "Is it Angel?" Buffy asked tentatively, before quickly hurrying to add. "It's okay if it is. I mean, he and I…it's never going to work. We both know that."
Cordy looked at her suspiciously, "You're not going to kill me if I say yes?"
"No. I want him to be happy." Buffy smiled slightly, before quickly adding, "But not too happy! And, I even kind of want you to be happy. So, you might as well be happy together."
"Thanks," Cordy said, the sincerity in her voice shining through. "But, I don't know if that's possible anymore." Seeing Buffy's quizzical look, the seer elaborated. "I slept with Connor."
"Who?"
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"Yeah," Cordy explained. "There's this big, evil law firm whose sole goal in life is, well, Angel's soul. There's some prophecy about how he'll be this big player in the final apocalypse, and our friendly neighbors at Wolfram & Hart are convinced that if he's evil, he'll bat for their team. So…"
"And they're the ones that kidnapped Connor?" Buffy asked, trying to keep the details of the events Cordy had outlined straight in her head.
"No, they're the ones who brought Darla back. Holtz is the one who kidnapped him."
"Right." Buffy shook her head and felt her lips twist into a wry smile. "I think you just officially past me in the Most Messed-Up Relationship category. Congratulations!"
"Thanks," Cordy said, rolling her eyes, the moment between the two women past, but their relationship strengthen by it.
To be continued in: "Chapter Twelve: Choices"
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A/N: Hey, gang! I finally got another chapter up, and hey, only a week and a half late! I know, I'm appropriately cowering in shame and apology. What can I say? Real Life gives Cordelia a run for her money in the Vicious Bitch category sometimes.
Big thanks to everyone who reviewed or e-mailed me last time: Ello, Garcrahen03, Weapon of Choice, Anne Rose, Leah, E-wok, FanOfFaith, SilverRain, BabEe TiG3r, Zana, Timeends, and, of course, Annie and Winter. You guys keep me motivated!