Disclaimer: I own nothing not me not my friends not the gutter. Not even
this spec of dust sitting on the arm of this computer chair which also is
not mine.
Hello, I am G. Of course, that is not my real name. My real name, for those of you who wish to know (and who don't) is Ghandi. However it is easier to write G as opposed to Ghandi. Therefore throughout the rest of this story I shall refer to myself as Ghandi.
Some of you may know my frinds, if you use such the term lightly, Tasakapeotkauu, Moonbay, Aahz and Teqon Weare along with with a veritable host of others. Only the first four will be of any importance in the following story. And even then they are but trivial to it. *Looks over his shoulder and yells in fear as they start advancing on him with murderous glints in their eyes* Ok they are not so trivial *he says to placate them* Of course it is not uncommon for them to act in this way they always have murderous glints in their eyes but that would be disrupting the story more than my rambling already does.
Moonbay, Teqon, Aahz and Tasakapeotkauu are omnipotents. That is not what they call themselves but it is so much easier to say than omnipotent beings. Also I find it suiting to them so that is what I shall refer to them as.
I myself am not omnipotent. I am not even semi-omnipotent as they seem to believe. I am me. If I was asked to describe my self I would say I am me. In fact I have on many occassions done just that. Answered I am me when asked who I was.
As you read this story you might begin to believe that you understand me. And so you will attempt to classify me. To seperate me into some division of people so that you might better understand me. There is always a chance that you will be correct... BUT YOU WON'T. SO GET OVER IT! I am me and that is all.
In an attempt to save your precious little minds I will tell you once more I am me. That is it. I am not you or him or her or it. I am me. I know this because I am not you and nor are you me because you are you therefore I am the only one one left who can be me.
Anyways..........
The four, slightly insane, people i mentioned earlier live, along with myself, in the Gutter. The Gutter is a place that was magically created by Teqon Weares' friend, who is slightly more than a friend, Sauron. The entire place is magical and thus is easily manipulated to suit ones wants and desires. And as the name implies most people here have many strange and ot quite appropriate wants and desires.
It is sickening what some of the people created. changing this supposed haven into a cheap New York City brothel(correct word? does brothel only refer to woman or can a brothel include men.) Still as of yet there are many places left untouched by the warped and twisted minds of my friends and their... well their... us... toys, I suppose.
It was in one of these rapidly disappearing places that I was when this story takes its roots, to coin a badly out-off-date phrase. I was sitting in one of my favorite spots. In this place I could sit and contemplate all of those meaningless and worthless ideas us philosophers think about. Did I tell you I was a philosopher. What? I didn't! Well now you know so maybe we should get together sometime to discuss philosophical matters. No. Are you sure Well in that case...
I will not describe this place to you because as I said it is one of a rapidly disappearing breed. If I was to tell you what it looked like one of those four would not rest until they had found it and perverted it so it was no longer what it had been.And that I can not allow. Where would I sit to think my serious and worthless philosophers' thoughts. In the kitchen with all of them maybe sitting on the counter. I don't think so so I'll just keep my secret.
Besides what would be the point you do not live in the Gutter. And if you do, well I am sorry. Not for not telling you where this place is of course that would not be like me at all, for I rarely experience regret. I am sorry that you are forced to live out your own life with such people.
Anyways, I am rambling. It is common for me to do that. One time I was asked to give a formal speech to a foreign ambassador. It was supposed to be my purpose to persuade him to go back to his leader and convince him to reamain at peace. I sort of went off topic and began a talking about modern... ahem... behavior. As a basis for this I referred often to the people of his country. Needless to say he was not happy. And there is at least one more reason for World War 1 over what the text books teach.
See there I go again completely off topic. Well, lets get back to the story at hand. You see I was sitting here in this place and contemplating on my useless philisophical thoughts. I believe that that day I was considering this question. "What need does one have of a hot water heater? Does one heat their hot water with it? Why if the water is hot do they heat it?" See absolutely pointless.
I was sitting there contemplating this when I heard it. It... such a strange term. Humans tend to use IT a lot. Not a sprinkling here it is as if someone had a salt shaker of ITs' and the poured it out on the human langauge. We use the word IT to describe anything and everything that we do not understand. IT, has no conception of good and...
I did it again. I am truly sorry. well not truly you see that would be regret and as I have said I rarely experience regret. Anyways I will try to stay on track although I can guarantee that I won't. How about it a little wager to see if I can stay on track. Any takers... No, well fine.
Where was I. Oh, that is right IT. I heard it the sound, well obviously I can not hear a sight it would have to be a sound. can use it in this case because at first I truly did not know what IT was. But unlike most sounds of the Gutter I could not ignore IT. I finally realized why this was.
It was not a menacing sound. Nor was it a sound that one might make when... well... I am sure you know so I do not really have to say. Since it was none of these I knew it was not any of the normal night Gutter sounds.
Then I realized what it was. I realized why it was not evil, menacing or... ahem. It was something plain and simple. Something that was not attached to the Gutter. It was something unnatural. I knew what it was and I knew what it meant. It was laughter pure and simple with no dark twist or hidden connotations. The storm clouds went away the darkness that normally draped like a blanket over the gutter lifted and the sun shone through. It was a sunny day when INNOCENCE returned to the Gutter.
A/N This is an attempt at a humor story. i hope you find it amusing it might be easier to understand if you read Ghandis Revenge and failure by The Evil Queen of Nowhere. Please review.
Hello, I am G. Of course, that is not my real name. My real name, for those of you who wish to know (and who don't) is Ghandi. However it is easier to write G as opposed to Ghandi. Therefore throughout the rest of this story I shall refer to myself as Ghandi.
Some of you may know my frinds, if you use such the term lightly, Tasakapeotkauu, Moonbay, Aahz and Teqon Weare along with with a veritable host of others. Only the first four will be of any importance in the following story. And even then they are but trivial to it. *Looks over his shoulder and yells in fear as they start advancing on him with murderous glints in their eyes* Ok they are not so trivial *he says to placate them* Of course it is not uncommon for them to act in this way they always have murderous glints in their eyes but that would be disrupting the story more than my rambling already does.
Moonbay, Teqon, Aahz and Tasakapeotkauu are omnipotents. That is not what they call themselves but it is so much easier to say than omnipotent beings. Also I find it suiting to them so that is what I shall refer to them as.
I myself am not omnipotent. I am not even semi-omnipotent as they seem to believe. I am me. If I was asked to describe my self I would say I am me. In fact I have on many occassions done just that. Answered I am me when asked who I was.
As you read this story you might begin to believe that you understand me. And so you will attempt to classify me. To seperate me into some division of people so that you might better understand me. There is always a chance that you will be correct... BUT YOU WON'T. SO GET OVER IT! I am me and that is all.
In an attempt to save your precious little minds I will tell you once more I am me. That is it. I am not you or him or her or it. I am me. I know this because I am not you and nor are you me because you are you therefore I am the only one one left who can be me.
Anyways..........
The four, slightly insane, people i mentioned earlier live, along with myself, in the Gutter. The Gutter is a place that was magically created by Teqon Weares' friend, who is slightly more than a friend, Sauron. The entire place is magical and thus is easily manipulated to suit ones wants and desires. And as the name implies most people here have many strange and ot quite appropriate wants and desires.
It is sickening what some of the people created. changing this supposed haven into a cheap New York City brothel(correct word? does brothel only refer to woman or can a brothel include men.) Still as of yet there are many places left untouched by the warped and twisted minds of my friends and their... well their... us... toys, I suppose.
It was in one of these rapidly disappearing places that I was when this story takes its roots, to coin a badly out-off-date phrase. I was sitting in one of my favorite spots. In this place I could sit and contemplate all of those meaningless and worthless ideas us philosophers think about. Did I tell you I was a philosopher. What? I didn't! Well now you know so maybe we should get together sometime to discuss philosophical matters. No. Are you sure Well in that case...
I will not describe this place to you because as I said it is one of a rapidly disappearing breed. If I was to tell you what it looked like one of those four would not rest until they had found it and perverted it so it was no longer what it had been.And that I can not allow. Where would I sit to think my serious and worthless philosophers' thoughts. In the kitchen with all of them maybe sitting on the counter. I don't think so so I'll just keep my secret.
Besides what would be the point you do not live in the Gutter. And if you do, well I am sorry. Not for not telling you where this place is of course that would not be like me at all, for I rarely experience regret. I am sorry that you are forced to live out your own life with such people.
Anyways, I am rambling. It is common for me to do that. One time I was asked to give a formal speech to a foreign ambassador. It was supposed to be my purpose to persuade him to go back to his leader and convince him to reamain at peace. I sort of went off topic and began a talking about modern... ahem... behavior. As a basis for this I referred often to the people of his country. Needless to say he was not happy. And there is at least one more reason for World War 1 over what the text books teach.
See there I go again completely off topic. Well, lets get back to the story at hand. You see I was sitting here in this place and contemplating on my useless philisophical thoughts. I believe that that day I was considering this question. "What need does one have of a hot water heater? Does one heat their hot water with it? Why if the water is hot do they heat it?" See absolutely pointless.
I was sitting there contemplating this when I heard it. It... such a strange term. Humans tend to use IT a lot. Not a sprinkling here it is as if someone had a salt shaker of ITs' and the poured it out on the human langauge. We use the word IT to describe anything and everything that we do not understand. IT, has no conception of good and...
I did it again. I am truly sorry. well not truly you see that would be regret and as I have said I rarely experience regret. Anyways I will try to stay on track although I can guarantee that I won't. How about it a little wager to see if I can stay on track. Any takers... No, well fine.
Where was I. Oh, that is right IT. I heard it the sound, well obviously I can not hear a sight it would have to be a sound. can use it in this case because at first I truly did not know what IT was. But unlike most sounds of the Gutter I could not ignore IT. I finally realized why this was.
It was not a menacing sound. Nor was it a sound that one might make when... well... I am sure you know so I do not really have to say. Since it was none of these I knew it was not any of the normal night Gutter sounds.
Then I realized what it was. I realized why it was not evil, menacing or... ahem. It was something plain and simple. Something that was not attached to the Gutter. It was something unnatural. I knew what it was and I knew what it meant. It was laughter pure and simple with no dark twist or hidden connotations. The storm clouds went away the darkness that normally draped like a blanket over the gutter lifted and the sun shone through. It was a sunny day when INNOCENCE returned to the Gutter.
A/N This is an attempt at a humor story. i hope you find it amusing it might be easier to understand if you read Ghandis Revenge and failure by The Evil Queen of Nowhere. Please review.