CHAPTER ELEVEN
And he looks at me in wonder
And he looks at me in fear
Wrestling with his anger
His pride and stony tears
To place me in his life
Will be hard and slow
Does he want it need it
I might never know
The boy feels strange
Oh the boy has changed
Angel waved a hand and Gunn, Fred and Faith fanned out. He'd rather had had Wesley in Fred's place but the S'Vear priestess needed him to help her ready part of the spell. They weren't just going for banishing this time. They planned on destroying the Beast. To that end, they were stalking an Ocopim demon. They'd need its horn as a weapon.
He was having a hard time concentrating on tracking this demon. His mind was too full of extraneous garbage. Well, it wasn't garbage actually. Most of it was important to him personally but it was an unwanted distraction at this point.
Cordelia was still getting very sick. The doctor said she had a severe form of morning sickness. He didn't know what to think about it yet. Connor was too young to be a father, provided they vanquished the Beast and if they failed it wouldn't be a world worthy of bringing a child into. He hadn't asked Cordy if she even planned on keeping his grandchild. He didn't want to know. He wasn't ready for the idea of an abortion, except of course, if the child did turn out to be demonic. Of all things to happen, he hadn't counted on this and was thoroughly unprepared for its reality.
He was surprised he wasn't angrier at Cordelia. The anger seemed to have drained out of him. He was more disappointed than anything. Cordelia should have known better. He knew Connor didn't. No one would have taught him about safe sex or even when the right time to have sex was. Of course, a case could be made that fire raining down, the end of the world might count as the right time since there wouldn't be more time.
"Sounds like fighting up ahead," Faith said, her lips parting in a wicked smile.
"Damn, I thought we had that demon cornered inside," Gunn said, peering into the warehouse. He hefted his axe in anticipation.
"It might be trying to make for the sewers," Angel said. "Let's go before it gets away."
"Yeah, but what's stopping it?" Faith asked, twirling a stake like a baton between her fingers. "This thing's been leaving a body trail a mile wide."
Angel's face went contemplative. "I'm thinking I know who's slowing it down. Like Wes said, Connor's likely to show up where the fighting's the worst."
"We should be so lucky," Fred said, taking a bolt out of her pocket, loading her crossbow.
"Looks like we are," Gunn said, pointing to the thing that looked like a gigantic satyr. One of its hooves connected with Connor's gut, propelling him across the floor.
"Kill it any way you can," Angel said, a grim expression on his face.
Fred let fly with her crossbow. The bolt sunk into the demon's shoulder. Howling, it spun and clattered towards her. Gunn whirled in with his hubcap axe, burying it in the thing's hip. It knocked him halfway across the room. Angel, Faith and Connor swarmed it from three different directions. Once they were on it, it couldn't free itself. It was clumsy at close range. Angel manhandled it into a headlock, preventing it from getting its horns down, leaving Connor and Faith free to hack it to pieces. Faith's stake proved useless but she had a hefty knife more than able to do the work.
Father and son stood over the corpse, glaring at one another. Like two wolves
they signaled their intent, their search for dominance, with body language.
Fred had her crossbow at the ready as if expecting to turn it on them to
prevent a fight. A trickle of blood ran
down Connor's chin. Angel saw he was wearing his bandolier of trophies. He had
thought Connor had lost it. He and Faith had managed to convince Connor to give
up the human ear but it looked like Connor had replaced it with some new demon
parts. Why did his son need that for? Proof of his abilities or something more
sinister?
"Faith, could you get the horn," Angel said, not taking his eyes off Connor. Angel's body didn't relax in the least. He sensed an imminent attack. Connor's lips skinned back.
Faith, knife drawn, stepped between them. She pressed the hilt into Angel's hand. "Get it yourself." She turned to face Connor, aware of his hostility. Still, she felt confident she could manipulate him. Boys were easy. "And you, we're getting that horn to kill the Beast. We could use your help. Are you in or should be we just not count on you at all?" she snapped.
The fight drained out of Connor so quickly it was stunning. Pain filled his big eyes and his full lips parted slightly falling into that half-opened, bewildered look he had. He stubbornly glanced at Angel who was sawing off the horn then up at Fred who still had her weapon pointing in his general direction. "I want to help but I'm not sure everyone agrees you need me."
"We don't have the time to argue with you, Connor," Angel said. "The Beast knows by now we have one of the priestesses. He knows he can't let her live. We'll stand a much better chance with you there to help."
Connor lifted his chin, shaking his hair back over his shoulders. "Maybe I'd do better out here, putting out fires."
Angel stood back up, horn in hand. He gave Faith back her knife. She wiped it on her gore spattered pant leg before sheathing it. "There's too much demon activity, Connor. No one could handle that many battles. Once we defeat the Beast, we'll be able to clean out the city. Karan, the priestess, said once the Beast is killed all its energies will be released and the spell should reverse."
Connor just glared, staying mute. Angel tried to put a hand on his shoulder but Connor jerked away. His anger and fear crackled in the air. Angel could almost taste it in the back of his throat.
"Connor, I'm sorry about all those terrible things Angelus said to you," Angel said, regretting he didn't have more privacy for this talk. His friends gave no signs of understanding he wanted to be alone with his son or maybe they just didn't trust him and Connor not to kill each other.
"Since when have I ever cared what you say? No need to apologize. You were just being your true self," Connor said. The chill in his voice frostbit everyone. Angel dropped his gaze, incredibly hurt.
"Connor, don't say things like that," Fred scolded, her crossbow no longer at the ready. She shook a bony finger at him. "Angel is doing what he has to, to save us again. He's a champion and he deserves some respect."
"Stop saying that!" Connor yelled, his pale face purpling with rage. His whole body quivered with the effort to restrain himself. "You guys keep bantering that word around until it's lost all meaning."
Fred huddled in on herself against the venom in his voice. Her puppy eyes held a deep fear as if expecting a good punch in the face. "Connor, you don't mean that."
"Shut up, Fred. You're always telling me what to do and what to think," Connor snarled, stalking over to her. "Living at the hotel was the longest three months of my life since I had to listen to you all the time."
"Don't you talk to her like that." Gunn shoved Connor away from Fred who struggled not to cry.
Connor growled and shoved him back hard enough to land Gunn on his backside. Angel grabbed his son and shook him.
"Never do that, Connor! You can't lose your temper that way," Angel bellowed then took a deep breath. He felt more lost than he ever had except maybe once or twice with the sorrow shrouding his and Buffy's life together. He despaired of he and his son ever having anything but tragedy between them. He could see it roiling in like storm clouds. He started again more gently. "You can't forget you're stronger than normal humans, son. You could seriously hurt someone without meaning to."
Connor sagged a bit under his father's hands. "I'm sorry. I'm just…"
"Yeah, we're all just a little something at this point," Gunn said as Faith helped him up. Angel was relieved Gunn didn't sound too angry. He hoped his friends understood how dangerous inciting Connor could be.
"We'd better get back to the Hyperion. Wes will need a little back up if something comes for the priestess. Lorne isn't much of a fighter," Angel said.
"Cordy isn't there?" Connor asked, a hint of real concern in his voice.
"She's there but she's been…sick," Angel said, not willing to tell Connor more. He couldn't even imagine how the news would be broken to the boy. "Come back with us, Connor. There's plenty of room for you to stay. You don't even have to be near any of us."
"No!" Connor pulled away from Angel, wrapping his slender arms around his chest protectively. "I'm not staying there."
"Fine, but at least come back now so you can hear the plan. I'm going to give you my cell phone. Cordy can show you how to work it. This way you can stay where you feel comfortable and we can still be in touch quickly, okay?" Angel asked, trying to keep the pain and despondency out of his voice. Connor was never going to trust him again.
Connor nodded. "Okay."
* * *
The tension hadn't lessened any by the time they returned to the hotel. The street the Hyperion dominated was empty, as if the demons knew to stay away. If they listened they could hear people dying not far away. The stench of death perfumed the night. Connor sniffed the air looking at the building. "It smells like lightning."
"A by-product of the protection spell," Fred said, then chanted a series of words.
The invisible shell around the hotel turned a shimmering green and parted like a stage curtain. They found everyone in Wesley's office. Wes was bent over a thick tome that put a distinct odor of dust and mildew in the air. A thirty-something woman with long blonde hair sat next to him, equally involved with the text. Cordelia was curled up in a chair, a note pad on her knee. Loren seemed engrossed in his Seabreeze.
"You got it?" Wesley asked, seeing the bloody, tattered team.
Angel put the horn on the desk. "Got it."
Cordy got up, seeing Connor staring at her intently. "I'm glad you came back, sweetie."
He crossed over to her, putting a hand, rusty with blood, on her shoulder. His blue eyes had concern captured in them like a leaf in amber. "Dad said you were sick."
"I've felt better." She hugged him, feeling his trophy bandolier grind into her. He embraced her back, which was the best sign of forgiveness she had had from him.
"I don't know how to make you feel better. I've never been sick," he said, taking a step back, still in her arms but leaving a gap between their bodies like a bubble of protection.
Cordelia smiled. "That's sweet and it makes me feel a little better." She stroked his hair. "But you're wearing this gross thing again." She pointed at the bandolier.
He caressed it protectively. "Needed something that was mine."
"Connor." Angel waved him over to Wesley's desk, trying not to think about what Connor had just said and done. There was something off about looking to a string of demon parts as a security blanket. "I want you to meet Karan. Her sister and family were the ones the Beast killed. Karan, this is my son, the one we were telling you about."
Karan smiled wearily. "Hello, Connor."
Connor gave her a shy look that took Angel by surprise. It was nice to see an
emotion other than sullen anger on his boy's face. "I'm sorry about your family."
She rubbed a hand over her face as if trying to banish that pain. "Thank you."
"Karan, what do we need for this to work?" Angel asked.
"Wesley and I are working on the spell's translation." Karan gestured to the notepad where Cordelia had been scribbling down what they had rendered into English. " Fred, we could use your help. We have to get this done so you and Wes can help me with the spell. I need some help gathering things to bless the horn and to weave in spells for protection, success, courage and strength." Karan nibbled her lip. "Might as well weave in some elements to help banish his evil, too."
"What do we need to get?" Angel asked.
"Yarrow, chili pepper, mistletoe, myrrh, nettle, cinnamon, dragon's blood, sage, High John the Conqueror and coffee. Hmmm, and how about a little Irish Moss for luck. You can find most of it around the kitchen and the rest you can get in just about any magic shop. There's probably a lot open for the looting at this point. I probably have it all at home."
"That might be too risky. Surely the Beast has some sort of demon watching the place, hoping you'll return," Wesley said and Karan nodded.
"And there's one more thing needed to charge the horn in order to make it work, vampire dust,' Karan said.
"That's easy." Connor smiled at Angel so coldly the vampire was put in mind of Bedlam asylum and a long stay in chains for his son.
Angel glared in warning. "Connor and Faith can get you that, Karan, anything else?"
"Not in the way of supplies. What we need is a plan, especially for how to protect Wesley, Fred and I while we do the spell. Angel, I'm assuming you'll be wielding the horn as a weapon," Karan said. "We have to discover a way to find the Beast before he tracks us down. It's better if we set the ambush needless to say."
"Yeah, but how do we do that?" Gunn asked, then his eyes leveled on Connor. "It seems to show up wherever Connor is."
"Are you suggesting using my son as bait?" Angel asked, his eyes narrowing. He didn't know why he felt so protective of a son who hated him passionately but this was his blood and he'd defend it.
"I'm saying he already is, provided that's all he is," Gunn said.
Connor showed him his teeth, like a wolf ready to attack. "I'm not connected with this thing. It's shown up long before I was ever born. It's only interested in me because…." Connor wrinkled his nose. "I don't even know why. Maybe it thinks I'm a way to Angelus."
"Whatever the reason, the Beast does seem to home in on you, Connor and we can use that." Angel hated doing this. He knew Connor could handle himself but not against the Beast. Could he give up his child's life to save the world?
"It's another reason for you to stay here at home, with us," Cordelia said.
Connor shook his head violently. "No."
"Connor, sweetie, this isn't the time to be unreasonable," Cordelia said, taking his hand.
"He will be," Lorne put in. "He doesn't need to sing for me to see that."
"You don't even try to read me," Connor snarled, pulling free of Cordelia. "And I'm not staying here. This is a lousy place to fight."
"He's right," Faith said. "Too many rooms, not that this thing is big on hiding and sneak attacks but still. We'd want to try to take him on somewhere more open and where he doesn't have the option of pitching us off a high roof."
"And we need a safe base of operations. I'd rather not compromise the hotel more than it already has been," Angel said. "I agree with you, Connor. You need to go. You have my cell phone. We'll use it like we talked about. Cordelia, show him how to use it."
"Okay." Cordelia looked at Connor. "You do have a safe place to stay?"
"You aren't with Anne, are you?" Faith asked. "I know I said you should go there but not if you're in the middle of a shit storm."
"No, I was afraid that the Beast would find me again so I decided not to stay there. I'm somewhere safe…only it's not a great place to fight either. I'll have to find something else," Connor said.
"How safe is where you are now?" Angel was just thrilled Connor was cooperating at all. He could see the exhaustion in the boy's eyes and that had to be making him snappier than normal.
"Safe enough but it's not like the Beast couldn't break in anywhere." Connor's nose wrinkled at that thought.
"You're tired. I can see it in your eyes. When's the last time you slept?" Angel asked.
Connor shrugged. "I don't know."
"Either sack out here once we're done with the plans for just an hour or two or go back to your new place. Once you've rested, you can move to a better place to lure the Beast to," Angel said, hoping that wasn't the wrong thing to do. Connor had a point though. No place was really very safe and his son was about to collapse from fatigue. The boy just nodded his consent.
"Why don't we leave Karan, Wes, Fred and Cordy to this translating business and the rest of us go somewhere else to talk out the plans?" Faith suggested.
No one needed to be told twice. Gunn and Lorne filed out of the room. Connor paused, looking at Cordelia intently.
Aware of his scrutiny, she asked, "Is something wrong, Connor?"
His eyes slotted. "I don't know. Something about you seems different."
"Just a little ill is all." Cordelia shot Angel a panicked look.
Connor saw it and rolled his eyes, misinterpreting it as her attentions being back with his father again. Angel tried to ignore it, wondering if Connor had actually picked up on something or if it was just Cordelia's unusually wan look. He knew Lorne sensed the pregnancy probably in the same manner he knew about the night of conception. Cordelia had told Fred and Faith this morning but the rest didn't know yet. He wished she hadn't told anyone but he could understand her need for some support in this tough spot. She and he had talked some more about it. He was half-expecting her to be looking to him to help her raise the child if she had it. Considering the resentful looks his son was giving him, Angel could imagine how badly that would go over. Once again, he tried to shove his personal life back into a dark corner and concentrate on the far more dire business at hand.