Disclaimer: I own nothing. Well, except for my own ocarina.
Rating: Let's say PG—PG13. It's kind of like Greek tragedy. None of the good stuff happens "on-stage."
Other: Well, it's set during Ocarina of Time, and it's Sheik/Link. And Sheik is all man, all the time…except when he's Princess Zelda. Why? Because it's so much more…interesting that way. Plus I'm hoping that it's comedy gold!
At first he'd thought Sheik was just a well needed ally and a musically talented friend. By the Fire Temple, however, he was starting to get suspicious.
He may have been a boy thrust into a man's body—and a damn good looking one—but he'd started to figure a few things out.
"Are you hitting on me?" he asked.
He wasn't sure, but it looked like Sheik was blushing. "What?"
"All that stuff about passion and the heart…you're trying to seduce me, aren't you?"
Sheik giggled like a girl. "Are you sure you learned the song? I can play it again…"
"I learned the damn song." Link was starting to have doubts about Sheik. The giggling didn't make him feel particularly confident. He wished Impa was the one helping him. Now there was a real man.
She wasn't as good looking as Sheik though…
"Do you want me to seduce you?" Sheik asked nervously.
Link wasn't sure how to answer. His pelvis said "yes," but his head reminded him that half of Hyrule already called him "fairy boy."
Sheik looked at the ground. "Maybe I'd better…"
"Yes!" Link blurted out. Sure, the volcanic entrance to the Fire Temple probably wasn't the best place, but Sheik might not make the offer again.
The next thing he knew, Sheik was pressed against him. "I've wanted you for so long," he murmured.
Link decided that there were definitely a few advantages to being a fairy boy.
***
A few minutes later, something was bothering Link. Once Sheik had taken the mask off, Link had felt the weirdest sense of déjà vu. There was something oddly familiar about the other man, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He decided that he could worry about that later.
"I've never done this as a man before," Sheik said softly.
"What?"
"I mean with a man."
"Oh."
Sheik bit his lip. Damn, this was a bad idea…still, as long as it keeps him away from that slut Ruto…
***
Link glanced nervously at Sheik. "I'm really sorry," he said.
Sheik shrugged. "It happens."
"I know, but…"
"I really don't care."
Link buried his face in hands. He couldn't believe he'd called out Zelda's name instead of Sheik's. He technically hadn't seen her in years, and he didn't think he'd recognize her if he saw her now. He peered at Sheik through his fingers. I wonder why he's taking this so well?
Sheik stood up. "You'd better get going," he said.
Link nodded. "You're not mad?"
The other man smiled, pulled him up, and kissed him. "I'll see you at the next temple," he said, then picked up his clothes and vanished.
Link started to get dressed. His tights had been ripped to shreds. He tossed them over his shoulder and walked towards the temple's entrance.
***
"You did what?"
Sheik, who'd gotten dressed before this confrontation, looked at his hands. "I slept with Link," he mumbled.
"Like that?" asked Impa. Sheik nodded. Even though she didn't really want to know, she had to ask. "Who was…on top?"
"I was." Sheik looked away. "And he called me by my name."
"That's normal."
"My real name."
"You didn't tell him, did you?"
Sheik glared at her. "No, not yet. I'm not stupid."
It was the "not yet" that worried Impa. Gods, I've raised the kinkiest bitch in Hyrule she thought miserably.
***
The monster had been defeated, and Link found himself outside again. He started running. The sooner he got to the next temple, the better…