She was gorgeous in her own way. She rose above simple prettiness like it was no big challenge, the way she did everything: effortlessly. She had such delicate features that she never bothered to highlight with makeup, all because she never really believed she was beautiful. I tried to tell her, but it never really took hold. It was such a shame; she always thought of herself as this shy, socially inept but bright girl. She'd heard it long enough, and no amount of telling her otherwise would have helped. It wasn't true, not then, not ever; she could never understand that she was the most wonderful thing in the world. I know she never really forgave me for the wolf. So maybe it's my fault. But I hope she forgave me, after it all, and I know she knew I loved her above everything else.
* * * * *
She was magical, literally and figuratively. She took me and made me into something else, something so much better. I owed everything to her; she brought me out of the shadows. She could do that to you, make you so much more for knowing her, and you never noticed until she was gone. It took a gift to change people for the better every time, and she had it. She was always very gifted. She had the Midas touch; everyone she met, she turned to gold. And I don't think she knew she did it, but I know I loved her for it. I still do, and I always will. She had a rough spot, yes, but she got over it. She got better. And suffering led her to understand suffering more than she could have imagined. She deserved better, but she was happy with what she got; that was what I loved about her.
* * * * *
She was my best friend, always and forever. It wasn't romantic, not really, and teenagers can be forgiven for hormones. At its best, though, it was pure, unadulterated love, the kind that can keep a person sane. Or stop her from ending the world. I was proud of that, that I could stop her. But I know now, and I think I did even then, that it wasn't really my doing. She inspired that kind of faith in someone, and she did it instinctively. She could have had a flock of followers if she wanted them, but she didn't; that was part of the charm. She just wanted friends, the kind of happiness that seems so out of reach a lot; when you're a kindergartener who's just broken the yellow crayon, when you're in high school and unpopular and always going to be that way, when you've lost the love of your life. So it wasn't me that saved her. She saved herself. That's why I love her.
* * * * *
She was magical, literally and figuratively. She took me and made me into something else, something so much better. I owed everything to her; she brought me out of the shadows. She could do that to you, make you so much more for knowing her, and you never noticed until she was gone. It took a gift to change people for the better every time, and she had it. She was always very gifted. She had the Midas touch; everyone she met, she turned to gold. And I don't think she knew she did it, but I know I loved her for it. I still do, and I always will. She had a rough spot, yes, but she got over it. She got better. And suffering led her to understand suffering more than she could have imagined. She deserved better, but she was happy with what she got; that was what I loved about her.
* * * * *
She was my best friend, always and forever. It wasn't romantic, not really, and teenagers can be forgiven for hormones. At its best, though, it was pure, unadulterated love, the kind that can keep a person sane. Or stop her from ending the world. I was proud of that, that I could stop her. But I know now, and I think I did even then, that it wasn't really my doing. She inspired that kind of faith in someone, and she did it instinctively. She could have had a flock of followers if she wanted them, but she didn't; that was part of the charm. She just wanted friends, the kind of happiness that seems so out of reach a lot; when you're a kindergartener who's just broken the yellow crayon, when you're in high school and unpopular and always going to be that way, when you've lost the love of your life. So it wasn't me that saved her. She saved herself. That's why I love her.