Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Buffy, not Spike, nothing….but you knew that. The words, however, are my own.

It was a beautiful moonlit night and I had been wondering around Sunnydale aimlessly. Following her. The Slayer. My Slayer. She's beautiful you know. She's strong, and she's beautiful, but she's soft…inside. She just doesn't know…

The thing about a soul is that it makes you see things differently. The body is just a vessel without it. I realize that now. As a soul-less monster I couldn't really see things as they were. Of course I was…special… from the very beginning. I was one of the few vampires to experience love, even after the demon took control of me. Dru was my life…after life, for a very long time. I had humanity in me, whether or not I was truly human. Have you ever been in…forget it.

I was evil too of course, don't get me wrong. I enjoyed every victim, every taste. I was always hungry for more. The power was like ecstasy for me. My newfound strength was unbelievable. I got off on it. I know why I enjoyed it so much. I was vulnerable in my first life. That was my biggest fault, it was… my ability to love. When I loved, I loved with all of my being. That would seem to be my problem now, isn't it?

With Dru my love was fuzzy. It was tainted by evil and corruption, yet it was love all the same. I felt emotion towards her, I felt anguish and jealousy, I felt attachment. I remember when Angelus changed back. It was near to when I first got here. I was hurt…by her. He tried to have his way with my Dru. Took advantage of her while I was in pain. She was always so…fragile. Fine, she was mad. I'll admit it, but I loved every bit of her madness.

Then there was Buffy. There was something about her from the very beginning. At first I thought it was because she was the Slayer…don't know if you know this, but I've got 2 under my belt. 2 slayers…dead by my hand.

But that wasn't it. Oh, I did want to kill her, but it was the passion in me. That was the only way I knew how. She was human, I didn't understand how I felt. Then that damn chip, and everything…I guess you could say things changed. I couldn't hurt her, not the way I thought wanted too. But it wasn't true you see, she wasn't fully human. It was an accident almost, the way I found out. Well, we fought. But it was a dance you see. She always liked the dance. Liked it a little rough, she did.

It was great fun. Unbelievable sex, I mean, unbelievable. But it was still…fuzzy. It wasn't until the soul…the soul makes everything…clear. You see it all…the truth. Now I know it. I feel it completely. It's stronger now than it ever was…I love her.

"Whoa, dude, that's heavy." The vampire/bartender was staring at Spike in amazement. All he could think was that this dude was drunk as hell. "You think this Buffy chick loves you too?"

Spike snickered a little. Putting out the cigarette he'd been smoking and putting his drink on the bar.

"Don't know. She's too scared to admit it. I know there's a spark, but…oh well. I guess that's about it then 'mate. Thanks for listening."

"Sure, no prob…"

It was then that Spike jumped over the bar and staked him. As he watched him turn to dust he grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the top shelf and walked out of the bar.

Sometimes even vampires need someone to talk to.