The Legend of Zelda: Divine Intervention: Part Ten: Life is Funny That Way, Isn't it?
Quincy007
The sun shined brightly in the crystal clear light blue sky. The day's warmth was accentuated by a gentle breeze that swayed ever so softly every couple of minutes. The grass was soft and springy not to mention a vibrant green. Trees and shrubs were periodically placed next to the gravel path.
After taking a few breaths of the deep clean air Nil turned to Attëa, who put its hood back, and seemed to be relishing the sunlight on its shadowy head, "This is hell? Excuse my ignorance, but I remember hearing a lot about fire, brimstone, screams of agony, and eternal suffering."
"I will excuse your ignorance, but I'll let you in on a secret. This isn't Hell. What you call Hell is beyond the Morgul Gates a few miles that way. This is my favorite picnicking spot and where I was before I had to go chase after you in your fantasy world."
Link sighed, "Why didn't you just take us straight into Hell?"
"First of all, we are not going to call my home Hell for the rest of our time together. You will call it by its proper name: Thanatos Lemures: A beautiful name for the resting place of the scourges of society, neh?"
Sheik looked around as he wound and unwound a long chain around his hand, "So where are we?"
"The borders of Bob's Kingdom. I picked this spot for its elusiveness. To get to the main road, we'll have to cross Agmar's Creek. This way."
Link adjusted his hat, "At least the weather's nice."
Attëa gave Link a thumbs up, "That's the attitude. We'll reach the Gates by nightfall if we make haste."
So the quartet marched off into the grassy plains not knowing what surprises lay in wait.
* Hyrule—Kakariko
"Personally, I thought it went rather well." Farore said as they walked down the street.
"We did get the Triforce, but the big villain has yet to show itself. We can't very well call it a victory until that is done." Nayru pointed out.
"I can understand why we went down to Earth this time, but was any of it really our concern to begin with?" Din asked
"Well, Zelda certainly wasn't going to be able to destroy all those monsters."
"And Nil would have been slaughtered by Ganondorf while he was passed out, then all hell would have broken loose."
"Presumably."
Farore scowled, "You know what I mean."
Din sighed, "I suppose it is up to us to rally the troops from time to time. Well, let's go."
"Oh, aren't you going to say Goodbye to Ganondorf?" Nayru asked sarcastically.
"No. I've better things to do tonight than harass the thing we're leaving as Hyrule's last line of defense."
"Din?" Nayru and Farore looked at her strangely. Farore snapped her fingers and a thermometer appeared in her hands, "Are you all right?"
The red head leered back away from the other two. After a second she sighed, "Fine, if you must know we've had words already. Strong, harsh words."
Nayru shook her head and patted Din on the back, "That's the Din I know."
"Can we go home now?"
The three of them began to mutter words in the root of all languages, a very potent language, capable of saying volumes in one sentence. It comes in handy when you need to utter a spell that would take you two days in Hylian to cast.
As a cascade of colors surrounded them Farore stated, "A better question to ask is 'Are we there yet?'."
* Two blocks down, take a right.
{Is she gone?}
Ganondorf poked his head around the corner of the building. "Looks like it."
Majora made a sound similar to a sigh of relief, {Boy did we get lucky. I thought she was going to kill us.}
"Well, she does have every right to be angry."
{Granted, you've been tarnishing her name for so many years now…}
"That is not what I meant." Ganondorf said as he walked into the afternoon sun.
{What? Did you mean the sleeping spell thing? She can't be holding a grudge about that can she?}
"Were you asleep the entire time? That was half of the conversation!"
{I ran away. I'll admit it. My consciousness fled into the depths of my…er…mask.}
"…You're hopeless."
Ganondorf was actually at a lack of ideas for things to do. He didn't have to bother with thinking of an evil plan, because he long ago realized what a pain in the ass being the bad guy was. But he had to wait for someone else to do something before he could act. He suddenly realized how much more patient Link had to be than he.
"Of course, its not like I kept him out of work. He heh."
{Ganondorf? Do you regret what's happened to us?}
"What? Our whole turncoat thing? No, we're just being sensible. You don't fight the embodiment of a Goddess's power, its just stupid. Maybe if I was still a bearer things would be different, but I'm not, so they aren't."
Ganondorf sighed and looked up at the sky. The blue seemed fainter today, and was occasionally flashing like lightning, but there was no accompanying thunder or clouds. Very suspicious indeed.
As the light show in the sky ended, the ground began to tremble. It grew in force until it was a full-fledged earthquake. People were screaming as the ground cracked open along the main street. Ganondorf ran along the crack, trying to figure out what was causing it.
{Stop running around with like your head has been cut off! Don't worry about the why, we should just try to stop civilian casualties.}
Ganondorf nodded and noticed a man hanging on for dear life a few feet down in the crack. Using a tentacle he lifted the man out of the crack.
"We need to get the people out of the town!" Ganondorf shouted, "Spread the word!"
"Uh…yes sir!"
Ganondorf looked up to the sky and saw darkness creeping down from the edges of the sun.
"Somebody, I don't know if it was Nil or the Goddesses, but somebody screwed up."
He heard loud crash, followed by a scream. Pushing his thoughts aside he ran off into the town.
* Gates of the Dead City
Link noticed that Nil had barely said anything the whole time they were in the fields. He had a disgruntled look on his face every time he looked around. It was like he was disappointed with the fact that Hell wasn't a barren wasteland torn apart by fire and desert as far as the eye could see. The Hylian only grew more irritated as they approached Thanatos Lemures.
They crossed the bridge that spanned the river Lewa and were a stone's throw away from the towering city.
In the center of the city stood a black spire that disappeared into the clouds. Flickering fires could be seen in the windows. As they gazed down they saw other towers, but none so high as that spire. Their view ended as the walls blocked the rest of the city.
The walls that surrounded Thanatos Lemures were at least three men thick, and made out of shiny black stone stronger than steel. Every hundred feet or so there was a guard tower, but the darkness was so strong one could never see into them.
The doors to the city were huge. Link put them at twenty-five feet high by thirty feet wide made of black metal wrought with a shiny black glass. As he looked closer he saw that there were thin lines of silver in the scrollwork. The two double doors looked ominous enough to get Nil's attention, whose only response was the put a hand on his sword, which he now carried at his waist. "Just how many doors are like this in Thanatos?" He asked, looking from guard tower to guard tower.
"Just the main gate." Attëa said as it dusted off and straightened its robes.
"Nayru said that Dol Guldur was the second highest gate of the Underworld."
Attëa reached into his robes and pulled out a large flowchart, "Its time for your daily lesson in how death works children listen close because I hate having to explain this to people every day."
"When you die and come to Thanatos Lemures, you generally land somewhere in the fields. If you wish you can stay out there forever, living off the land—there are few who have done well by that. However, most people head for civilization and come here. Passing through these gates is the first step. There are no Inns in my city, you either go home or to Dol Guldur, where you are processed."
"Processed?"
"Yes. Our highly trained staff looks you up in the Omega book, or the book of fates as treasure hunters call it. Every crime and good deed you have done will be listed there. You are given those pages in a folder and you see a clerk somewhere on the second and twentieth floors. You fill out paperwork for the better part of six months to five years and then you talk to Nertëa or Cantëa, my two partners in crime. They will either give you a key to a house and a work assignment, or they send you to talk to me. If you get to talk to me, you will try to throw yourself out of the window. I basically deal out the hellfire and all around smiting of evil souls. That's what takes place on floors thirty one through seven hundred and twenty."
"Seven hundred and twenty floors?"
"Twenty eight actually, the full time staff has housing on the top floors."
"So who is talking to the evils of society while you were on this jaunt?"
"No one. They are probably sitting in line waiting for me. After the line reaches the foyer, they stop accepting new applications and you have to wait a few years for me to get through the backlog. Hours are five am to ten pm closed weekends and holidays."
"Where do all the people fit?"
"We don't really know. The tower used to grow bigger, but after two hundred floors it stopped. New floors just kind of appear whenever we need them. Convenient and saves us a ton on remodeling costs."
"How long does it take for a person to become a 'citizen' of hell?"
"Currently? A thousand years, give or take."
"Then their eternal punishment begins?"
"Probably. I've sent people to the back of the line before."
"For what?"
"Cutting, swearing, whining, the sheer pleasure of it, whatever paltry excuse I can think of."
There was an odd silence. Sheik then asked, "If you decide who to damn and for how long, what does Bob do?"
"Sometimes Bob will take over for me, on my days off, sometimes Bob will visit the pits or…Bob is like the King, the king doesn't do anything except plot evil schemes and settle disputes between the demons. Are we clear?"
"That still doesn't explain why Dol Guldur is the second highest Gate in the Underworld."
"Because if you really have the time you can file an appeal and take your case directly to Bob. So, I tell people that the gate to Bob's house is the highest gate of the Underworld, because ultimately, it is Bob who decides your fate. It just takes longer."
"I never thought Hell would be such an annoying bureaucracy."
Attëa paid it no never mind as it knocked on the doors.
"No one's allowed into Thanatos Lemures after nightfall." Came the soft reply from beyond the door.
Sheik and Link took a step back away from Attëa as it shouted its retort. The venom and power in its voice was so different from they were used to, "You will let me in or you shall find yourself beyond the gates of Dol Guldur you useless cur! I am Ulairë Attëa and I command it to be done!"
There was a long pause from inside the gate. "Ulairë Attëa? Oh Sir Attëa you're back! That's wonderful! Oh…but Bob is so very angry with you so much, you and Ganondorf, its not funny. We've got orders not to make any exceptions for you."
"But I wrote the gate protocols!"
"I can't break the rules, even rules you wrote sir. That's what Bob said. I'm sorry."
Attëa growled and hit the giant door once, making a large dent in the center, "Show yourself you damnable wretch! Show yourself and prepare to be judged! No one mocks me this way!"
There was a sound akin to sand pouring through a funnel as a young girl about eleven with short light purple hair walked through the door.
She sniffed once before shakily talking "I—I'm sorry Sir Attëa. But-but orders from Bob are orders…please don't send me to Dol Guldur!" She clutched at Attëa's robes and sobbed loudly.
Attëa kneeled down and put his arms around the young girl. "Shh…its alright. I was just angry. No need to cry little one. I didn't know it was you."
Link and Sheik watched intently, amazed at this turn of events. Attëa looked ready to rip whomever it was blocking them limb from limb, now it was comforting the girl. Nil walked passed the two and stood at the door.
"Attëa. Let's go now." He said coldly.
The Demon bent down and picked the girl up. "Fine." Then the two of them walked through the door again. There was a loud clanking noise and the Gates swung outward slowly. Nil walked through followed quickly by Sheik and Link.
Attëa set the girl down and she ran off. The demon sighed happily before pulling its hood back over its head.
"Who was she?" Link asked.
"I don't know."
"You seemed to know her."
"I like kids alright? Is that a crime? It's not her fault she's here anyway. Hylians don't usually do anything worthy of coming here until they turn of age."
"So how did a little girl like that get here?" Sheik asked.
Attëa started walking. With a long sigh it explained, "Her mother was probably raped by a demon as part of her punishment. Or maybe someone did it for fun. It happens all the time. Either way once the act is done its not like we can undo it." The Demon sighed, "You know, the worst part about it is that the children haven't done anything wrong and they are still here. Usually we put them in better places than gate duty. I'll have to ask Bob about it."
"You mean women can still have children here?" Sheik asked, probably glad that Zelda was safely hidden away.
"Of course. Why wouldn't they? The physical laws that bind this place together allows you to do anything you can in Hyrule…well you actually don't age here, and that's really the key to my whole system… Anyway, is there nothing worse than dieing and learning that nothing changes? The same monotony day after day?" Attëa explained as they walked down the street.
"This is weird." Link commented.
"Nothing weirder than Hyrule." Nil spat, "If you look you can see children like her all the time. Let's go. Unless you really want the complete guided tour."
He took point, walking down the well-lit streets of Thanatos Lemures.
Sheik shook his head, "What is his problem?"
Attëa sighed, "Not only is he away from the one he loves—which makes any young man miserable—he probably doesn't like how this place works."
"What do you mean?"
"He hates someone so much that he wants them to be here, suffering for all eternity. I do hope I'll oblige him."
Nil stopped at the corner to wait for them. His first impressions of Hell were not that promising. He remembered that as they were walking to the gates Attëa pointed out the farmer's fields. He knew then that this place was just like Hyrule. Except cleaner. The streets and walls were clean, no soot from fires or litter marred the walls and ground. And safer, he hadn't seen one person lurking about after dark. He looked at the buildings and saw that they were made of stone. He could just imagine the people working away in the quarries, singing old work songs, then going home to a warm meal. How was that getting what you deserved? Then again, waiting a thousand years in a line where you could be sent to the back on a whim before returning to the boring monotony of life is pretty bad.
He felt a tug on his pants leg and he looked down. The girl that was looking after the gate was looking up at him.
"Yes?"
"Are you Sir Attëa's friend?"
"No. We aren't friends."
"Oh. Well, Sir Attëa's one of the good guys so don't be mean to him!"
Despite his annoyance with the situation, Nil smiled, "Alright."
"I have to get back to the gate now."
"Good bye."
The little girl waved and ran through the wall.
Nil looked at the wall for but a moment and sighed wistfully. He felt the other's presence behind him, so he asked, "Attëa, are you fair when you judge?"
"No. I send people to the back of the line for not being able to tell me what day it is without using the letter 'y'."
Nil scowled, "I mean, have you ever let someone off light? Has someone ever left your office, room, whatever and think 'I got off light?'"
"I wouldn't really be doing my job then would I? Of course not. I always try to be harsher than I really should be. This is, after all, eternal punishment."
"Oh. So how did Ganondorf get to the top already? I mean that's the only way you could know him right?"
"Actually, Bob pulled him out of line and offered him a job. Can you believe it? That's why Kings and dictators are so inefficient. They have no respect. I have this perfect system working but whenever Bob sees someone that has some potential, they get pulled out of line, it's annoying. I mean its good to have a figure head, but figureheads should realize what they are and let the people who know what they're doing do it."
Sheik pulled the conversation into a more useful direction, "So where is Bob? The top floor of the spire?"
"No. The top floor of Dol Guldur is my room. From there I can see everything that goes on in there." It said in a way that worried them all. Attëa chuckled and began to lead them down another street.
* Heaven (Because the human mind cannot begin to grasp the levels of power and the proportion of events that occur in Heaven we will act as if the Goddesses and all other beings have retained their corporeal forms while here.)
Nayru tried to get sense of the world around her. The first thing that she noticed was that wherever she was, it did not feel like home to her. Secondly, she ached all over, like she had been in a large fight, but how could that be? There was no one in existence that could hold that much power. She ran through a list of beings who had claimed to have the powers of a god, but none still in existence came to mind.
She finally got one of her eyes open—the other appeared to be swollen shut—and realized someone had done some redecorating. For starters, there was a throne, a rather ostentatious throne, on top of a large staircase, overlooking what could only be a stadium or arena. The stadium was empty, but the large empty space at the center worried Nayru a little bit.
"Din? Farore?" She rasped. It hurt to even speak. Frustrated, Nayru remembered that she was still thinking linearly and processing speed at a Hylian's pace. She shook her head and concentrated. She wasn't surprised when it hurt to think as well.
"Ow. Ow. Ow."
Suddenly, the barriers of time and speed were removed. She could see All That Was and All That Had Come. Seeing All That Could Be required concentration and it hurt to think, so, she'd let herself be surprised until her body repaired itself. The past as of a few hours ago came back to her. When they appeared, they were under assault by a strong, yet familiar attacker. The first wave they easily deflected, but then they realized that they couldn't smite this intruder under the usual means, who seemed immune to their Godly powers. It was then that the intruder revealed itself before attempting to strike them down. It was shock that doomed them; something that they assumed could never happen in the heavens, being omniscient and all. She was the first to fall, taking a blow to the back of the head. What happened after that she didn't know.
She didn't worry about Farore or Din, Goddesses were immortal. Looking up at the figure sitting on the throne she muttered, "Unfortunately, so is the Fierce Deity." She raised her voice to speak at him, "All along, it was you: the attack on Link, the Triforce monsters, Bob sending Ganondorf and Attëa, all of it."
"Yes. Could it have been any other? Bob has neither the skill nor the cunning to produce such a masterful plan. The 'evil' king Ganondorf hasn't the mind for such things as this anymore, but then again, he never really did. It was that arrogance of yours that I would stay in my prison that was your downfall Lady of Wisdom." His deep voice sounded soothing, but his words irritated her at the same time.
She shook her head and cleared it of mortal connotations and emotions. She needed all of her wit and wisdom for this battle of wits, for what else could it be? Nayru stood up, steadying herself on a wall. "Where are Farore and Din?"
"They posed threats. I sent them away."
"Where?"
"A place of little importance."
"I'm just as powerful, so why am I here?"
"You of all celestial beings I would expect to realize. I need someone to pass over the title of God."
She couldn't help it; she glared at the Fierce Deity with all the venom and disdain as she could muster. His resemblance to Link was uncanny, and now that Nayru thought about it, intentional. She found it ironic that he would take the image of that which he wanted nothing of.
"You were never meant to have that title. You didn't even want the title we gave you!"
"Gave me? You demanded it! And when I refused what did you do? You locked me away in the black nothingness of oblivion!"
"You could have been a God among Hylians Angmar, but you spurned our will!"
"That is because you wanted me to be a slave to your precious Hylians Mother!"
* Thanatos Lemures
They traveled in relative silence across the city. Not that they couldn't talk they were just disposed towards not doing it for the moment.
Despite his usually good head for directions, Link was thoroughly lost and Attëa's temper had grown short when it had to explain all these changes in direction and side streets it was leading them on. After its final rant, Link just gave up and followed in silence. They had already taken eight left turns, seven rights, and crossed the same intersection twelve times—sometimes passing through the same intersection repeatedly for three minutes or more. Link was about to ask if Attëa was sure where it was going when it stopped in front of a small two-story house made of brick and wood. Link thought it was joking. But no one was laughing.
"Bob is in there? Why not a huge castle with a moat of lava or something else like that?" Sheik asked.
"Better yet, why did we have to pass this house three times?" Nil asked, looking much more relaxed than before.
"To answer She-male's question first, Bob lives here because should someone attempt something like this, they go to Dol Guldur over there and die fighting up to the top instead of the real boss." It pointed to the tower. "If you want a real expert on why we had to pass this house three times ask Link."
Nil looked at Link who frowned in concentration, "You mean it's like a maze, and we have to take certain turns in a certain order or we come back to the start?"
"Right."
Nil smiled, "How many times did we start over?"
"…"
"What was that?"
"…Five…"
The three Hylians chuckled.
"Should we knock? Or just barge in?" Nil asked.
"Personally? I'd knock. Its much politer." Attëa said.
Link ignored its advice however and opened the door with a kick shouting, "Bob! You will come before us! We need to talk to you!"
"I don't want any, Go away!"
Sheik walked into the dark room, "We will not! We've got questions; you've got answers, and by the Triforce You will answer! Now show yourself vile cretin!"
"I have not heard that threat in a long time. I'm amazed you still have the guts to show yourself around these parts…you aren't him. Who are you?"
Personally, Nil wasn't surprised. It made sense that if the ruler of Thanatos Lemures was named Bob, then he didn't want too much attention. The tower thing made more sense, and finally, the last piece clicked. Because Bob was a woman.
She had long black hair that hung past her knees in a high ponytail, a very fragile and demure looking figure covered in an inconspicuous skirt and blouse. Had circumstances been different Nil might have called her attractive, but he was cynical enough to assume that she was only hiding a 'true form' like all these evil creatures seem to do.
"I'm Link."
"Oh, the Hero. What about your friends?"
"Nil Chavez."
"Sheik."
Bob sighed, "Attëa, I said I wanted the Triforce, not its bearers if you can't even get one little detail right..."
Link drew the Master sword, its blue blade shining brightly. "Don't talk to Attëa, talk to me. You've got some explaining to do."
Bob sneered, "You presume to order me? I am lord of this realm! You do not give me orders!" Bob held her palm out at them, "Go away."
There was no warning as the bright ball of energy flew from her hand. The spell, whatever it was, was absorbed by a light blue shield that Link had formed around himself, though Sheik and Nil both managed to cast some kind of protective spell over themselves as well.
Nil unsheathed his sword and Sheik drew a long dagger. Bob gave each of them a long hard look. "I see. Not just the bearers, but they happen to have their Triforces with them? Well, I apologize for underestimating you. How about a game? You win, I'll answer whatever questions you want to ask. I win, you get in line at Dol Guldur."
Nil rolled his eyes, "Or you could just answer our questions because we all save time that way."
"No. Either you play my game or we sit in this silly stand off forever."
Link sighed and put away his sword. The others followed suit, "Fine. What's the game?"
* Half an hour later
Bob blinked twice. "But how? I even rigged the deck!"
Sheik sighed, "Because we cheated too. Whenever Nil would start to yell about how much of a waste of time this was and call 'No ace, no face, no count' Link and I would exchange some of the cards in our hands."
"Well, I did say best of three didn't I?"
"Unfortunately."
* Fifteen minutes later
"No! It cannot be! No! How?"
"You always pick rock. It wasn't that hard."
"Arrgh! One more game!"
"Fine."
* Three minutes later
"Damnit all! I give up! What's the answer?"
"So it could hide in the cherry tree."
"I've never seen a Goron in a cherry tree."
"See? It works."
Nil stopped beating his forehead on the table, "Are you going to answer our questions now? I really want to get out of here, no offense, but your tea is awful."
Attëa chuckled, "That's the same tea we had at breakfast in Kakariko. I took the kettle with me."
"Gah! Day old tea? You savage!"
Bob lowered her head, "Fine. What will you ask?"
"Who is giving you orders?" Sheik asked.
Bob shrugged, "Angmar, the Fierce Deity."
"The Fierce Deity? Why?"
"So he could overthrow the current rule in Heaven."
Nil scowled, "What will he do to the Goddesses?"
"He left that up to me. My first thought was to entrap them on the mortal plane, but Ganondorf failed to get the Triforce back. Useless cad. So then I decided that I'd just throw them into the bowels of Dol Guldur."
Attëa suddenly looked up, "No. Bob, you didn't."
"I sure as heaven did! Besides it's the only place where you can keep something so powerful."
"Not the basement of Dol Guldur! How could you put anything with a semblance of good in them in there?" It shook its head. "And without my permission too."
"Your permission? I think you forget who is really in charge here Attëa."
"You've gone mad Bob! I'm the Keeper of Dol Guldur for a reason! Because I know what's down there! I know the consequences! You are just a selfish power hungry fool who thinks that this world is your play toy! Lives depend on this place!"
"ENOUGH!" Nil shouted as he took his sword and split the table in two. "Bob, you are in alliance with this Fierce Deity fellow who as we speak is trying to take over heaven?"
"Yes. Succeeded already as far as I know."
"Attëa, Bob gave permission for The Fierce Deity to use the basement of Dol Guldur to hold the Goddesses?"
"Yes."
"So by all means, the Goddesses are already in the basement?"
Bob and Attëa nodded.
Nil nodded. "And if I wanted to kick somebody's ass for this mess, it's this Fierce Deity fellow?"
"Yes."
"All right. We're done here." Nil walked out.
Sheik looked at the others. "That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be."
Attëa sighed, "Because you gender bending noble, The Fierce Deity has already done it. Which means that you can do nothing unless you've recently found a way to kill a god."
Bob nodded, "If you had gotten here a few days earlier, you might have had a chance. But, with the new boss upstairs, things are going to be different. No more kind and benevolent gods, but a harsh, demanding god. One who will enjoy human sacrifices. The kind who encourages blood shed. The Golden age of Hyule is over and the Age of the Gods shall begin!"
Nil walked back in, "What the hell are you doing? Engaging in polite converstation? Stop talking and get out your pointy things! We have to get to Dol Guldur's basement! Before Attëa's nasties eat my girlfriend!" After a pause he added, "And Din and Farore. They're nice gals too."
Attëa gasped, "Are you daft? You can't just go to the basement of Dol Guldur! I should know I live there!"
Nil opened his little book, "We don't have a choice, listen to this.
Hero and Princess you would best make hasteDemon too this quest must be embraced
Listen to the recent victim of Cupid
Because we shout 'Save us stupid!'
Now you must move posthaste
(We're very sorry for using haste twice but we were in a hurry)
Link blinked twice, "Well, you've got me convinced."
Sheik sighed, "It can never be easy can it?"
Attëa reached into its robes and pulled out a sword. "I got my own line."
Bob watched them disappear as Link used Farore's Wind to teleport them the tower, "Pathetic fools! There's no escape!"
* Kakariko
"Alright, on three, Lift! One, two, Three!"
He and a few other still healthy people heaved on the broken piece of wall. The earthquake had lasted abnormally long, almost fifteen minutes. Not only did it make escaping difficult, but also it gave all the buildings enough damage to collapse most of them with their occupants inside. Someone had already been sent on horseback to Castle Town to get some help, but it would probably be to late.
The men finally lifted the wall up and over, it shattering when it hit the ground again. A young woman was pinned underneath some rubble. Two more men tossed it aside and got her out. Ganondorf was already searching for more buildings with survivors.
Hours later, as the sun was cresting the horizon the next morning Ganondorf stood in front of a large crowd of survivors. The town was nothing more than a pile of rubble now, but he was pretty sure that all the survivors were out. Dusting himself off, he rose and walked around.
No one said anything to him as he passed them. Most of them were probably scared of him, which made sense, seeing as how he had displayed multiple superhuman talents in the city, but no one had recognized him as Ganondorf Dragmire King of the Gerudos and scourge of Hyrule. Ganondorf sighed in relief. Of course the last time he had had a human form was ten years ago.
He watched the people mope about, most of them just staring listlessly into the sky. This was a crushing blow to them, but a lot of people were still alive…
"Whoever did this won't be satisfied with Kakariko."
{What makes you so sure?}
"I wouldn't."
{Come again?}
"What did this attack accomplish? It killed scores of people and made even more homeless. This was a message. Someone very bitter is trying to decimate the people of Hyrule for some reason."
{So? What do we do about it?}
"There's nothing we can do. Its all up to the real heros."
* Dol Guldur—Foyer
Attëa pushed the double doors open and strode down the stairs. Link and Sheik were at its sides and Nil brought up the rear. None of them took the time to recognize the amazing sculptures, marble floor, and Iconic pillars. Nor did they notice the large amounts of people bleeding and suffering on the floor. After all, they probably deserved to be here anyway. They did notice the immense size of the Foyer. It stretched up at least five stories with various people on different levels all doing the same thing. At the back of the Foyer there was a large sign that said 'Dol Guldur: 7 billion served.'
Attëa walked by a line of people, followed closely by Nil, Sheik, and Link. Several people in the line gave them dark glares, probably because it appeared that they were cutting in line, but no one would dare to complain with Attëa in sight. They came to the front of the line and stopped in front of a large red oak desk. The person behind the desk, a young woman about fifteen or sixteen, stopped talking to a man and smiled with relief when she saw Attëa, "Boss! Were have you been? Things are getting out of hand down here! In just the past twelve hours Kakariko was decimated! Scores are dead! And more are coming! The tower isn't making room for the new arrivals fast enough!"
"I can't deal with that now! Armisael, tell me, is anything in the basement floors?"
"Not after you sealed them…wait…yes, there is." The young woman opened a registry and scanned it, "About forty-five minutes to an hour before the Kakariko incident two women were brought in. They were immediately locked in B57."
Nil looked up, "Basement fifty-seven? Two?"
"Yes. Perhaps he needed a hostage or something. Now quickly, it will take a day in itself to get down there. Armisael keep the line from moving! Line them up outside if you have to!"
The girl stood still for a moment and watched Attëa and the others force their way through the line. Finally, she called out after them, "What's going on?"
"There's been a rebellion in Heaven! And Thanatos is on the wrong side of it!" Attëa called back.
The conversation in the line just stopped dead. Everyone was staring at Attëa. The girl behind the desk looked scared, "Dad…"
Attëa stopped walking, "Can you guys wait a minute?"
Nil looked back at the girl before nodding. "Go. Catch up with us later."
The demon strode up to its daughter and put a hand on her shoulder, "Armisael, I will not lie to you, it looks grim. Bob is league with the Fierce Deity, and they are trying to topple heaven and then Hyrule. Those people with me are probably the only ones who have a chance at stopping it if it can be stopped. But none of that matters right now, because I need you to do something more important than handing out pages. Get the names of everyone who has arrived in the last twelve hours and put him or her outside the tower, and then lock Dol Guldur down. No one enters, got it?"
"But…what will that do?"
"I don't trust the Fierce Deity. Whatever kind of rules he's going to make up could affect the people who arrive down here. I don't want anyone getting his or her file until we take care of this. After you've locked the place down, get Cantëa and Nertëa. Have them gather the others and wait for me at the top."
She nodded, "Okay. I can do that."
It smiled, though it was impossible to really tell, "You are the epitome of grace under pressure. Make me proud."
Attëa jogged off, its black cloak fluttering behind it.
Link was examining the lock on the door that read: Basements 1-60, "Well, it looks like a simple lock…" he said half to himself as he started digging around inside a pouch on his waist. After a moment he pulled out a key with a lion's head on the back. He stuck it into the lock and twisted. The door made a loud clank as rusted gears disengaged.
"What is that?" Nil asked.
"Magical Key. I picked it up a while ago, though I forget exactly where…all I know is that it opens most simple locks. You have no idea how much time it saves when you don't have to look for Small Keys."
"I bet."
Attëa rejoined them as Sheik and Nil pulled the door open. "That door is supposed to be locked."
"Don't worry, I just opened it." Link held up his Key.
Attëa stared, "That's Lemenya's Key! He lost it years ago when he was in a Hyrule dungeon. And you have it? That's really dangerous if you knew the things you could unlock with that key…"
"What?"
Attëa ushered the trio into the dark basement landing. "I'm not going to tell you, then you might be tempted to and then Farore only knows what will happen."
"Fine, I'll ask her then."
"Just put it away unless you need it." It closed the door and relocked it, "Ready your weapons Gentlemen. And Sheik. I may be Keeper of this tower, but the demons in the basement don't heed to my call."
"Why?"
"They just don't! Most of these things aren't even intelligent enough to hold a conversation, much less discuss why they hate me so much. Now, lets go before the Wall masters get us."
"Wall masters? Ugh…I bet you have LikeLikes here too."
"Well…yes."
"Keese?"
"Yup."
"Wizerobes?"
"Uh-huh."
"Stalfos?"
"A-firmative."
"Dodongos?"
"What dungeon would be complete without them?"
"Moblins?"
"More than likely."
"Lizalfos?"
"Mmm…I think so, but maybe not."
"Tektites? Wolfos? Redeads? Octorocks? Zolas? Iron Knuckles? Fire Slugs? Metroids? Uruk-hai?"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, no, yes, never can tell depends on the rain, thank god no, and never heard of them."
Link sighed, "Great googily moogily."
Nil looked around the room, finding a set of stairs in the back. Nil looked down them before looking over at Sheik. "You know Sheik, despite my rather calm appearance, The fact that you are actually a woman still bothers me to no end."
"You and me both pal."
***
Author's notes
I have several disclaimers on previous chapters, they all still apply, but more importantly, I have to apologize for my amazing lateness in this chapter, because I up and joined the Navy and boot camp tends to get in the way of writing, thusly I had limited access to my works. I'm on leave right now so I may be able to get some work done, but if you like reading this you will have to be patient as getting to a computer and actually working on my projects is not as common as I'd like it. I'm still working on it though so it will get done.
By the way, I meant no offense to anyone who might find my depiction of Hyrule's (or anywhere else's) Hell offensive. I just thought it would be funny, but if it bothers you then I guess you aren't very open minded and don't have a sense of irony or humor. (And I probably misused the word irony, but I'm just an ignorant man, so forgive for that one too.)