Hammond's Week Off
by Layton Colt
While the cat's away--the mice will play.
______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
WEDNESDAY (Carter)
"He shoots and he SCORES!"
At the shout, I lose the grip on my beaker and the contents almost spill onto the floor. Damn.
I can't take this anymore. I just . . . I CAN'T. They've been at it for hours now. The ball they're using might be Nerf, but they were managing to make a surprising amount of noise with it.
When they first started up the basketball game next door, I discreetly mentioned it to Colonel O'Neill. Not to be a tattle tell, but I'm doing sensitive work in here--and I've got to keep my concentration.
And what did Colonel O'Neill, temporary commander of the SGC, do? He went to talk to them. And after he was done, they were still playing.
When asked 'what happened?' what did he tell me? He said he decided to let them continue to play, under the condition they call themselves 'The Magnificent O'Neill's.'
They're currently involved in a tense game with the 'Fearsome Ferretti's.'
The Colonel assures me that if his team should lose, he'll be sure to make them stop playing so I'll be able to concentrate again. If they win, he's asked that I put up with it a little longer.
But I CAN'T. I can't put up with it for one more SECOND. I decide that I should head to Daniel's office. Daniel's office is always quiet and relaxing. Even more so lately, as most have been keeping their distance from him.
I haven't gotten the whole story, but apparently Ferretti's in big trouble with him. He must have done something especially stupid this time. Usually Daniel's a better sport than this--and usually he has the presence of mind to refrain from making death threats.
I wince as I approach the door. There's some kind of strange noise coming from inside. So much for peace and quiet.
I open the door. "Daniel, you okay?"
Daniel's kneeling beside the small table in the farthest corner of the room. His eyes locked on some kind of small machine.
"Daniel, what is that?"
He turns and spares me a quick glance. "Oh, hi, Sam. It's a coffee machine," he tells me. There's a strange quality of awe to his voice.
"Where'd you get it?" I ask. "It's so . . ."
"Huge? It makes espresso too," he says with a grin.
"Really? Wow. Where'd you get it?" I ask again.
"Oh, Ferretti got it for me."
Wow. He must have really have been in hot water to give such an expensive peace offering. "So, you and Ferretti are speaking again?"
"After this?" Daniel asks incredulously. "I'd have given my soul for this machine."
"Don't you think that's a little extreme?"
"Sam! Don't you understand what this is? This is the Holy Grail of coffee machines! Ferretti has just been booted up to my favorite person."
I pout. "I thought I was your favorite person."
He glances at me quickly. "When you get me an espresso machine, you'll be my favorite person," he tells me.
"I didn't know you could be bought, Jackson," I say playfully.
He laughs, and fiddles with the settings on the coffee machine. "Everyone has their price, Sam--you've just learned mine."
"So, are you going to share?" I ask.
"Sure," he says. "But, I have to warn you, this is my first time ever making espresso."
"Noted. You get the first cup."
"Right," he says as he gets to his feet. "Maybe I should offer the first cup to Jack."
"Magnificent O'Neill?" I ask.
He gives me a puzzled look. I guess he hasn't heard of the basketball tournament taking place on level 19.
"Never mind," I say.
"So, did you need something?" he asks.
"Nope. Just looking for something to do."
"Well, you didn't really come to the right place," Daniel says regretfully. "We're on stand down until the General returns, and I've pretty much finished up everything I need to do. I still have to go over the notes taken on Heliopolis, but that project would take, well, longer than a lifetime. I can only do so much with it."
"Oh," I say. I'd kind of hoped he'd be working on something. He was always WORKING on something. Figures.
"Maybe we could go watch the volleyball game," Daniel suggests.
"What?" I ask.
"You haven't heard of it? SG-15 and 7 started the game, and now teams 8 and 4 have joined in. They're making a mess of the rec room, but Jack stands by his decision to let them play. He says it's good for morale."
"That's the same thing he said about the basketball game," I tell him.
He doesn't look shocked to learn there is also a basketball game. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised to walk into the lunch room and see the marines bowling down the Jell-O dishes with cheese balls.
"Well, he's probably right," Daniel says reluctantly. "The whole base has been kind of sullen lately. Jack's methods might not be exactly orthodox, but it did the trick. I haven't seen the base in such good spirits since the first time we saved Earth."
Daniel's right, I realize. Maybe I should stop being such a wet blanket and let them have their fun. It won't last long, after all. The General will put a stop to it the moment he returns.
"Yea, I guess so," I say. "But I can't get anything done in my lab with all the racket."
Daniel nods sympathetically. "The triathlons went by an hour ago, I couldn't think until they'd all gone by."
"Triathlons?" I ask dubiously. Surely he must be joking.
"Yep. The marines are competing against the air force. Teams 3 and 5, I believe."
"How are they going to have the swimming competition?"
"PX3179?" he answers.
"And Colonel O'Neill approved this?"
Daniel grins. "It was his idea."
"You can't be serious."
"After this day? It's not as unlikely as you might think."
"They're really going to 'gate to PX3179? Weren't there sharks in that water?"
"Okay, I made that part up. I think they're just going to use the pool on the 26th floor."
"We have a pool?"
"Sure."
"Really?" I don't know of any pool.
"That's what Makepeace said," Daniel tells me.
"The Colonel's going to have a lot of explaining to do when the General returns."
"Well, with all on world teams on stand down, they needed SOMETHING to do. And I'm just grateful they're being kept busy. Before the SGC first annual Olympics were started, everyone kept coming to bother me."
"The SGC's first annual Olympics?" I repeat.
"Yea, catchy, isn't it?"
Before I can respond, a strange noise gets my attention. I turned to face the espresso machine. It seemed to be . . . growling. Daniel walked over to it, and tried to turn off. The red light remained on, however, then it just kind of went chug, chug, POP. And coffee went all over the walls--and all over Daniel.
Uh oh. So much for your spot as favorite person, Ferretti.
TBC on THURSDAY
While the cat's away--the mice will play.
______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
WEDNESDAY (Carter)
"He shoots and he SCORES!"
At the shout, I lose the grip on my beaker and the contents almost spill onto the floor. Damn.
I can't take this anymore. I just . . . I CAN'T. They've been at it for hours now. The ball they're using might be Nerf, but they were managing to make a surprising amount of noise with it.
When they first started up the basketball game next door, I discreetly mentioned it to Colonel O'Neill. Not to be a tattle tell, but I'm doing sensitive work in here--and I've got to keep my concentration.
And what did Colonel O'Neill, temporary commander of the SGC, do? He went to talk to them. And after he was done, they were still playing.
When asked 'what happened?' what did he tell me? He said he decided to let them continue to play, under the condition they call themselves 'The Magnificent O'Neill's.'
They're currently involved in a tense game with the 'Fearsome Ferretti's.'
The Colonel assures me that if his team should lose, he'll be sure to make them stop playing so I'll be able to concentrate again. If they win, he's asked that I put up with it a little longer.
But I CAN'T. I can't put up with it for one more SECOND. I decide that I should head to Daniel's office. Daniel's office is always quiet and relaxing. Even more so lately, as most have been keeping their distance from him.
I haven't gotten the whole story, but apparently Ferretti's in big trouble with him. He must have done something especially stupid this time. Usually Daniel's a better sport than this--and usually he has the presence of mind to refrain from making death threats.
I wince as I approach the door. There's some kind of strange noise coming from inside. So much for peace and quiet.
I open the door. "Daniel, you okay?"
Daniel's kneeling beside the small table in the farthest corner of the room. His eyes locked on some kind of small machine.
"Daniel, what is that?"
He turns and spares me a quick glance. "Oh, hi, Sam. It's a coffee machine," he tells me. There's a strange quality of awe to his voice.
"Where'd you get it?" I ask. "It's so . . ."
"Huge? It makes espresso too," he says with a grin.
"Really? Wow. Where'd you get it?" I ask again.
"Oh, Ferretti got it for me."
Wow. He must have really have been in hot water to give such an expensive peace offering. "So, you and Ferretti are speaking again?"
"After this?" Daniel asks incredulously. "I'd have given my soul for this machine."
"Don't you think that's a little extreme?"
"Sam! Don't you understand what this is? This is the Holy Grail of coffee machines! Ferretti has just been booted up to my favorite person."
I pout. "I thought I was your favorite person."
He glances at me quickly. "When you get me an espresso machine, you'll be my favorite person," he tells me.
"I didn't know you could be bought, Jackson," I say playfully.
He laughs, and fiddles with the settings on the coffee machine. "Everyone has their price, Sam--you've just learned mine."
"So, are you going to share?" I ask.
"Sure," he says. "But, I have to warn you, this is my first time ever making espresso."
"Noted. You get the first cup."
"Right," he says as he gets to his feet. "Maybe I should offer the first cup to Jack."
"Magnificent O'Neill?" I ask.
He gives me a puzzled look. I guess he hasn't heard of the basketball tournament taking place on level 19.
"Never mind," I say.
"So, did you need something?" he asks.
"Nope. Just looking for something to do."
"Well, you didn't really come to the right place," Daniel says regretfully. "We're on stand down until the General returns, and I've pretty much finished up everything I need to do. I still have to go over the notes taken on Heliopolis, but that project would take, well, longer than a lifetime. I can only do so much with it."
"Oh," I say. I'd kind of hoped he'd be working on something. He was always WORKING on something. Figures.
"Maybe we could go watch the volleyball game," Daniel suggests.
"What?" I ask.
"You haven't heard of it? SG-15 and 7 started the game, and now teams 8 and 4 have joined in. They're making a mess of the rec room, but Jack stands by his decision to let them play. He says it's good for morale."
"That's the same thing he said about the basketball game," I tell him.
He doesn't look shocked to learn there is also a basketball game. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised to walk into the lunch room and see the marines bowling down the Jell-O dishes with cheese balls.
"Well, he's probably right," Daniel says reluctantly. "The whole base has been kind of sullen lately. Jack's methods might not be exactly orthodox, but it did the trick. I haven't seen the base in such good spirits since the first time we saved Earth."
Daniel's right, I realize. Maybe I should stop being such a wet blanket and let them have their fun. It won't last long, after all. The General will put a stop to it the moment he returns.
"Yea, I guess so," I say. "But I can't get anything done in my lab with all the racket."
Daniel nods sympathetically. "The triathlons went by an hour ago, I couldn't think until they'd all gone by."
"Triathlons?" I ask dubiously. Surely he must be joking.
"Yep. The marines are competing against the air force. Teams 3 and 5, I believe."
"How are they going to have the swimming competition?"
"PX3179?" he answers.
"And Colonel O'Neill approved this?"
Daniel grins. "It was his idea."
"You can't be serious."
"After this day? It's not as unlikely as you might think."
"They're really going to 'gate to PX3179? Weren't there sharks in that water?"
"Okay, I made that part up. I think they're just going to use the pool on the 26th floor."
"We have a pool?"
"Sure."
"Really?" I don't know of any pool.
"That's what Makepeace said," Daniel tells me.
"The Colonel's going to have a lot of explaining to do when the General returns."
"Well, with all on world teams on stand down, they needed SOMETHING to do. And I'm just grateful they're being kept busy. Before the SGC first annual Olympics were started, everyone kept coming to bother me."
"The SGC's first annual Olympics?" I repeat.
"Yea, catchy, isn't it?"
Before I can respond, a strange noise gets my attention. I turned to face the espresso machine. It seemed to be . . . growling. Daniel walked over to it, and tried to turn off. The red light remained on, however, then it just kind of went chug, chug, POP. And coffee went all over the walls--and all over Daniel.
Uh oh. So much for your spot as favorite person, Ferretti.
TBC on THURSDAY