~Chapter Eight~ ~The Last remaining moments saved just for him~
Miroku hurried on to explain to Sango about Kagome, and also stated it best if she go and inform Shippo and Kaede of the tragic news. He himself was going out to find the nurse.
*Without the nurse to check up on Kagome…I'm afraid that Kagome won't make it!!* He thought as he ran about through the village streets, snow crunching underneath his sandals.
Sango walked back to the hut where Shippo and Kaede were at, watching her feet move through the white snow.
*Kagome……you….you can't die! You can't just leave all of us like this!! You're my best friend……you….you can't leave me after Kohaku did just the same!!! I need your friendship!!! You're the only one who understands me! You're my dear friend. I don't want to lose such a precious thing as that….* She thought in sadness as she felt tears prick at her eyes.
It was hard for everyone, even the young Shippo!
He sat on the other side of the hut, staring at the wood floor as Kaede prepared a lunch for the rest of the group who she thought would be arriving back any moment.
The little fox demon sighed and thumbed the floor, trying to pass time.
Sango walked in a moment later with a grim look on her face.
"Sango!! Is Kagome alright!!?? Did you get to see her!!!???" He exclaimed in a snap at seeing her appear through the door.
Sango knelt down beside Shippo and placed her hand over his back.
"Shippo…..I…have something to tell you….."
Shippo stared with uncertainty of what his friend might say.
Kaede turned and stared as well.
Sango cleared her throat nervously. "Um……well…..about Kagome. She's…….she's not doing so well Shippo. She….uh…..she might not make it………I'm sorry."
Shippo's eyes immediately filled with tears and he jumped into Sango's arms with sorrow.
Sango looked to Kaede with sadness in her eyes.
Kaede nodded, knowing now that this whole thing might not turn out so well.
Miroku trudged through the snow, the sky beginning to cloud over, the sense of more snow soon to come filled the air around the monk as he ran up a small path a towards a hut which he suspected was the one the nurse had gone to, for a sign was out front in bold letters "Please do not come near this hut. Smallpox deadly."
He ran up to the door and just before he knocked on it, the nurse opened it suddenly and stared.
"M…Miroku? What are you doing here?" She questioned in surprise.
He took a moment to catch his breath, then looked the nurse in the eye.
"Nurse…..I NEED YOU TO COME BACK TO KAGOME FOR ME!!! SHJE MIGHT NOT MAKE IT IF YOU DON'T COME!!!!" He exclaimed.
The nurse stared in shock. "But…I would have thought she would have almost recovered by now!!! Did Inu-Yasha not take good care of her!!!??"
Miroku shook his head. "INU-YASHA DID MORE WORK THEN A THOUSAND NURSES AND DOCTORS COMBINED!!! HE TRIED HIS HARDEST, AND I KNOW HE COULD KEEP DOING SO, BUT WE NEED YOU TO CHECK ON HER!!! TELL US IF SHE'LL……live or not." His voice turned softened at the last part.
The nurse nodded. "Well, you caught me at a good time! I was just leaving this home! Come on! There's no time to lose!!" She exclaimed as the two began to rush back to the hut Kagome and Inu-Yasha were in.
Inu-Yasha continued to rock Kagome. He wouldn't let her go. He held her the tightest he had ever held her, and made sure that her heart was close to his.
"Kagome……Kagome…..Please…..open your eyes….open your eyes…….." He pleaded in a whisper as more tears forced their way down his cheeks.
When his dog like ears picked up the sound of footsteps coming closer to the hut, he quickly wiped away the tears and slowly brought Kagome back down to the futon's quilt.
Miroku and the nurse walked in a moment later with worry in both their eyes as they laid their sight upon Kagome and the sorrow filled Inu-Yasha.
The nurse quickly knelt down beside Kagome and Inu-Yasha, and placed her hand over Inu-Yasha's back.
He stared at her. "Inu-Yasha…..you did well….but I'm afraid I must tend to her now." The nurse explained.
Inu-Yasha didn't like the way she stated this.
"Do….you mean I'm not needed here any longer? Or are you still suggesting I stay? Cause if you are, then I will!"
The nurse sighed. "Inu-Yasha, you've been up with Kagome for almost 2 days now! You need some rest! Go back to the other hut with Miroku and then perhaps you can come back tomorrow."
Inu-Yasha stared with a bit of concern over this. "But….what if…"
"Inu-Yasha. I think you should come with me. It's already late afternoon, and you really need some sleep! Come on. We'll go back to the other hut and we can talk or something. Kagome will be fine. She's in the nurses care now!" Miroku explained with a weak smile as he gestured for Inu-Yasha to follow him out of the hut.
Inu-Yasha hesitated greatly. "W….Will she be okay for sure!!?? Maybe I could just stay to help!!" He exclaimed.
The nurse stared with sadness at Inu-Yasha's trying, but she knew he needed to go. She didn't want him to see Kagome in such a condition, and she knew everything may get worse.
Miroku took Inu-Yasha by the arm and led him out of the hut slowly.
Inu-Yasha stared towards Kagome with sorrow. Of course he didn't want to leave!! No way!! But he somehow was pulled away by Miroku, and Kagome's sight soon left his eyes.
Darkness came once again for him.
That evening, Inu-Yasha sat with his back turned, facing a wall of the hut while Kaede, Miroku, Sango, and a swollen eyed Shippo ate their empty hearted meal.
All that filled his mind were images of Kagome. He saw her happy. He saw her turn to him and smile, as she had done often for some odd reason. He saw her laughing and spinning around with Shippo on a brisk fall day just that last Autumn, as leaves fell around her hair, and made her dance about like an angel in the breeze. He saw her throwing snowballs at Miroku and Sango at the beginning of that winter. He saw her building a snowman with Shippo that looked suspiciously like him! He could almost feel her back up against his just that night before the demon came and took her away. He saw her. Her and only her. It was endless to the many wonderful things he saw of her, for every picture, every frown, ever smile, every smirk, every soft expression, he loved them all. He loved her. How could he lose his sun to the day and moon to the night? How could he lose his angel? His home? His life?
Tears again threatened to take him over, but he forced them back.
He trembled with the fear of what might happen overnight. Why was this the way it was? He would never know.
The evening formed into night, and the clouds which had fallen over the sky were now sprinkling snowflakes down to the world, to cheer children, and please the people who made things out of ice. Each flake hit the ground, and another second snipped away. Snipped away into time lost to the ways of earth.
Far away in another place, in another dimension, Kagome still lay in her dream of darkness, as the hours went by like slowly moving sand.
~~~Back into Kagome's dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The world was spinning round and round. Kagome couldn't see anything, but then again, why would she even care?
She felt her body lose more strength by the minute, and she somehow felt so hot and cold at the same time that it was beginning to confuse her!
Inu-Yasha……
That was all she could think of and know in this world.
She could feel him hours before, but now he had disappeared, and she figured he had gone with Kikyo.
*Am I……that worthless?* She questioned in mind.
She closed her eyes and let the darkness surround her, and trap her in a world where she could sob and not be disturbed again by Kikyo.
*This place…..I now know why I can't stand or for that matter, move! It's because I'm without Inu-Yasha. I remember…….that demon……he….he took me…..from Inu-Yasha. From…..my friends……but….did I even have friends? Would anyone truly love someone who is nothing and will never be anything at all? I guess not…..or else they would have saved me by now. This isn't a dream. It's real. Or is it? I can't think! My mind is running blanks all over! I can't remember anything!!! Who am I? Where did I come from? Why was I created? Do I have any friends? Any family? Who is this boy I can see deep in my soul, who has long white hair, ears like a dog, and eyes as gold as the rock itself?*
Her mind trailed off, away from the light.
Losing….losing…losing……
"Inu-Yasha…….Please……come and find me….come and save me…..I need you!! I can't go on!! Kikyo was right all along wasn't she? Was she wrong? Inu-Yasha? Was she wrong? Where are you? Do you even exist anymore!!?? I know you were once real! I remember you!! But why…..aren't you here with me? Why was I taken away from you? Who took me away? Was it Kikyo? Was it someone else? I can't…..think." She stated aloud to herself.
The air began to thicken around her, and a final image of Inu-Yasha came to her.
He stood off not too far from her, but too far for her to reach him.
He didn't look angry anymore from when he went with Kikyo. He looked happy. Happy to see her.
His reflection stood in Kagome's eyes as she stared out to him.
"Inu-Yasha…….." She whispered one last time as she reach out her hand to try and grasp him.
He didn't reach out to take her hand and pull her up though. He just stood. His smile faded, but his expression never turned to anger.
Slowly, everything faded along with his image, and Kagome, after hours and hours of trying and losing, became lost within her own self, and would soon give way………..her very life.
~~~Out of Kagome's dream~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nurse stared to Kagome, and just as she thought she would expect her to get better, she began to lose herself!!
Her breathing became thinner, and her wheezing harsher!!
The nurse rapidly grabbed up her head and tried to force air into Kagome's lungs by tilting her head back, and opening her mouth and nose, but to no avail.
"Come on Kagome!!! You have to make it!! Don't give up now!!! You were doing better just a moment ago!!! PLEASE!!! Inu-Yasha is counting on me to save you!!" She exclaimed.
Kagome did no better with the nurses pleas though.
The nurse sat back and looked at Kagome's body.
She saw it begin to loosen. Her grasp on the futon quilt began to let go, and her breath slowly changed from normal, to weak.
The nurse felt a feeling she never got, but she knew it rather well.
"She won't…..make it." She whispered to the room as she placed her hand over her face so as to not wish to lay eyes upon the dying Kagome.
After a moment, she stood, and walked out the hut door, standing out in the snow as the snowflakes fell down into her hair.
"I've….failed you….Inu-Yasha……I don't want to tell you. I want to rush over and barge through the door, and scream out that Kagome will live….but….."
A tear ran down the nurse's cheek.
Another second past, and she wiped it away slowly.
"I…..I'll go get Inu-Yasha and the others. It's only fair if they're here."
And with that, she rushed to go fetch the others, dreading the most to face Inu-Yasha, and tell him the tragic truth about Kagome, the one she knew he loved most.
Inu-Yasha could sense a wrongness in the air around him.
His worries for Kagome increased.
"Inu-Yasha. Please. Go to sleep. I know you're worried about Kagome….but….I'm sure the nurse is doing a good job, and that Kagome will be awake by tomorrow morning!" Sango tried to encourage him, but it didn't help either one of them.
Inu-Yasha turned to Sango, his eyes lining with tears.
"Inu-Yasha…..this expression…….I've never……" Sango tried to confront him over the tears he was about to shed before her, but could not.
He lowered his head and turned back around to the wall.
A soft knock at the hut door was what gave his full attention back on, but the trembles of wrongness wouldn't leave his body!!
Sango was the one who stood up to answer the door, for Miroku, Kaede, and Shippo were already fast asleep under their blankets.
When her eyes laid upon the nurse, Sango's breath was almost knocked out of her.
The expression on the nurse's face was unbearable to look at, but she forced herself to.
"Um….yes? Nurse? Why are you out at this time of night? And why aren't you with Kagome?" She questioned.
The nurse sighed. "Please….where's Inu-Yasha?" Just as she asked this though, Inu-Yasha came up from behind Sango and stared to the nurse.
"Inu-Yasha? Please. Come out here. I must….tell you something….." The nurse got out.
Inu-Yasha nodded and stepped out the door, leaving Sango trembling with fear of why the nurse was there, and with such a sore look on her features.
For a moment, it was silent. The snow continued to fall around the two as the nurse and Inu-Yasha stared to each other with a bit of uncertainty in both their eyes.
"Inu-Yasha……." The nurse began, but suddenly lost her will to speak.
She looked away from his face, so that she could get her words out better.
"Inu-Yasha…..I……I've failed you. I promised you I'd try my best to save Kagome……but……..Inu-Yasha……." She looked back to his face again, unable to stand not knowing his expression.
It was in a waiting look. He stood in a tense way, part of himself praying, and another losing to a horrible fact he didn't believe in.
The nurse again cleared her throat. "Inu-Yasha………Kagome…..is…….dying."
Inu-Yasha's stomach suddenly felt as if it could lose whatever food was in it at any moment! His mind spun in circles, and his legs became weak.
He fell to the ground and grasped the snow harshly with his fists. His body trembled with the shock and horror the nurse's news had given him!
He shut his eyes tight and wished this was all a bad dream, and that if he tried, he could wake himself up and find everything back to normal! But after a moment of silence, it finally soaked in, and he realized, that Kagome was truly going to leave him. There was nothing he could do. Nothing anyone could do.
"Inu-Yasha…..I'm……so sorry…….I….." The nurse was at the point of tears.
He stood up quickly and wiped away the almost fallen tear from the corner of his right eye and nodded to the nurse.
"It's not your fault. Of course not." He stated in a rather soft tone, then began to head off towards the hut Kagome was in.
The nurse started after him for a little, then went inside the hut with Sango to explain to her and the others about what was happening. The horrible truth to life. Everything, and everyone…..will die, including Kagome.
Each foot step he took, Inu-Yasha came further to know that he had failed, not the nurse, in saving Kagome.
*If I hadn't been such a bastard and saved her when the demon came, she would have never even gotten ill in the first place. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I do everything wrong. I'm always messing up, only this time, it meant losing the one I can't live without. So I ended up throwing away a life which I could have protected so easily? God Damn it!!! I HATE MYSELF!!!! I HATE ME!!!!!!!!!!!*
He could feel the pain increasing as he approached the hut where Kagome was, and walked up to the door slowly.
Fir a moment, he let himself breathe, trying to control his sorrow, but when he stepped into the room and saw Kagome's face, losing to this war that she fought, he lost himself, and his eyes filled with tears.
He rushed to her side and scooped her up into his arms, holding her tightly.
"Kagome……Kagome…..KAGOME!!!!!!!!!" He said over and over, trying to wake her.
"PLEASE KAGOME!!! YOU GOTTA WAKE UP!!! OPEN YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES AND KNOW I'M HERE!!! WHY DO YOU NOT HEAR ME!!!!!! KAGOME!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!! PLEASE!!!! I beg of you……." His cries turned to soft pleas as his tears ran freely now down his cheeks, falling onto her pale skinned face, running down her cheeks, and to the floor beneath them.
"No!!!! Kagome……please……god…..Kagome…….." He cried and cried, not knowing what else to do.
He couldn't figure out why he couldn't wake her, or why she was so sick!!
Suddenly, a light entered the room, and blinded him for a second.
When his sight returned, his heart some what lifted at what appeared before him, but then as this image cleared, there stood Kikyo, not Kagome as he originally thought, standing there plain and serious as she always was, beside Inu-Yasha and Kagome with some sort of smirk upon her lips.
Instantly anger filled his senses, but he knew not why.
"Inu-Yasha. Look at yourself! Clinging onto that girl whom will be dead in just a few mere moments! Come with me and I'll take you away. We can go far and wide together. Where ever you desire to go, and we'll continue on with that life we had before this girl showed up. Don't you want to just forget about this place and time and return to the life 50 years ago?" She questioned in a rather annoying fashion.
Inu-Yasha's grasp on Kagome didn't loosen, it tightened.
"I can think of no other place I'd rather be right now then with Kagome. I favor to stay here and be with her in her last moments of life. At least I can say I was there for her till the end." He explained simply.
Kikyo sneered. "Inu-Yasha. You don't give a damn about that girl! You only believe you love her because of her resemblance to me! I set her straight, perhaps it's your turn. I told her she was nothing. A useless bitch who was only part of what she can never be. Me."
Inu-Yasha looked to Kikyo in such an angry and hating way that she couldn't help up be surprised.
"You…….YOU'RE THE BITCH, WENCH!!!!!!!!! KAGOME IS NOTHING LIKE YOU!! SHE'S A WONDERFUL AND CARING PERSON, WHO CAN MAKE ANYONE BECOME LOVING AND KIND, WHO CAN PUT A SMILE ON ANYONE'S LIPS!!! WHO CAN LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND CHERISH EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF IT!!!! I LOVE HER!!! AND I LOVE HER BECAUSE SHE IS HER OWN PERSON! WHEN I SEE HER, I SEE NOTHING OF YOU!!! IF YOU TOLD HER ALL THOSE LIES THAT YOU SIMPLY MADE UP, THEN YOU WERE WRONG, AND I'LL TELL HER ONE DAY TOO. I'LL SAY IT OVER AND OVER UNTIL SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT SHE'S NOT YOUR REPLACMENT!!!! SHE'S KAGOME HIGURASHI, AND I LOVE EVERY LIVING, LAUGHING, SMILING, BREATHING BIT OF HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed this and more tears fell rapidly from his eyes, creating a look that Kikyo had never seen.
It said only for Kagome. He would and never let go of his feelings for her. He loved and cherished every part of her, and non of it was Kikyo's at all.
She wasn't saddened by this. It made her want to laugh at Inu-Yasha's devotion that was only meant for Kagome. She cared nothing for him, but then again, it was a game to own him, and make him feel the pain of what was there before, if there was anything.
"Inu-Yasha. Still. She can never live up to me! She's my reincarnation! It's as if you're loving my leg, or my finger! A small piece of me! You know you still own those feelings for me that you had 50 years ago. Come with me and we'll go somewhere where no one can find us every again. Somewhere like……hell."
That last remark left Inu-Yasha hating Kikyo more then anyone else on that planet!
"LET ME SET YOU STRAIGHT NOW KIKYO!!!! I BET YOU NEVER KNEW THAT KAGOME WAS THE ONE WHO CREATED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! SHE MADE A WISH THAT A CHILD WOULD BE BORN THAT WAS JUST LIKE YOU, BUT IN THE PROCESS OF YOU BEING BORN, YOU SUCKED HER INTO YOUR VERY SOUL, TRAPPING HER FOR ALL TIME YOU LIVED!! WHEN SHE CALLED TO MY SOUL, WHICH WAS, IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW, HER BELOVED FRIEND AND LOVER FOR ALL OF TIME BEFORE THEN, I WAS BROUGHT TO YOU, BECAUSE KAGOME WAS CALLING FROM INSDIE YOUR BODY!! I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU, YES, BUT IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE KAGOME WAS THERE! NOW THAT SHE'S NOT, AND SHE'S BACK TO THE SELF I KNEW FOR SO LONG BEFORE YOU, I CAN'T FIND ANY FEELINGS FOR YOU ANYMORE, BECAUSE THERE ARE NON!!!"
This set Kikyo offline more then ever!
Inu-Yasha lowered his head and placed it down onto Kagome's.
"I will always and for evermore love Kagome. Not even death can destroy what I hold for her, and even if she doesn't feel the same way, I will still wait and follow her to the end of time. I will always be there for her, and I will never leave her side. Ever. I'll never be too far away to let her know I'll always love her. Always."
Kikyo stuttered to find words, but nothing came to mind. She had been beaten.
"Kikyo…..please. Just go to the other world. There is no need for you here. I know you were the one that did this to Kagome, so just get lost."
Kikyo's teeth grinded, but she turned and disappeared back to her shadows.
Inu-Yasha was again left alone with Kagome. To pray. To think. To love. To hold. To protect……for her last remaining minutes of life, which had been saved just for him.
~OOOOHHHH!!!! Gonna cry here! Keep up that reading! You're doing just fine! I'm going to go get a Kleenex though……~
~chibikagome1@yahoo.com~