A/N: oh, the crowd likes the humor, then? I'm not good at writing it, but.
if you insist! ^_^ I'll try not to go overboard. This was naturally going
to be a total drama fic. ^_^ ah, the power of reviews.
Disclaimer: *sighs* okay, we all know what I'm going to say here, right? If no, then........ I do not own. 'scuse me while I go search for my anti- depression coffee.
Chapter Started: 3/8/03 Chapter Finished 3/9/03
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third person POV, Sarah's Bedroom
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Sarah was sleeping in bed (this, by the way, is about the same time Jareth is attacked) at night. Just............. sleeping. Dreaming about you-know- who, of course, as well. Anyway, she was sleeping in bed, dreaming, when she woke up suddenly from a yell. No, she didn't yell, she heard a yell (and it woke her up). It sounded rather like Jareth's voice.
"I'm going crazy," she muttered, looking around snoozily. "Hoggle, Ludo, Sir Didymus, I need you!" her mirror flashed a little, and then out popped Hoggle. "What's wrong, Sarah?" he asked
After Hoggle came Sir Didymus, on His trusty steed's back. "My Lady, what dost thou ask of us?" he asked.
Then, after Hoggle and Sir Didymus came Ludo, or his head and shoulders at least. "LWUDO STUUUUUUCK!" he cried.
"Ssh, you guys, don't wake up my dad or Karen or Toby. And I called you because I thought I heard Jareth yell. You know, the Goblin King. Is everything okay in the Labyrinth?" she patted the bed next to her, and Hoggle, Sir Didymus (how do you spell Ambrocious's name?? Did I do that right?) and Ambrocious sat next to her. Ludo appeared a few minutes later after he had decided that going in head first wasn't going to work.
"No, everything's fine," Sir Didymus said. "At least with us it is. Jareth's been locked up in his room ever since you left."
"Living off of room service," Hoggle put in. "I kind of feel sorry for him."
"What about you, Ludo?" asked Sarah.
"Lwudo." Ludo stopped for a moment, trying to remember the question. "Lwudo feel sworry for Gwoblin Man." He decided at last, hoping that it had something remotely to do with whatever Sarah had said.
"Well," Sarah said haltingly, "You guys could've told me before hand. Poor Jareth. I think that we should cheer him up!"
"why?"
"Yes, why? He's the evil Goblin King in case you've forgotten. He stole your brother!"
"Well, actually, I've been thinking about that." Sarah explained. "I was young then, and Toby was a baby,"
"Your STILL young, fifteen Sarah, and Toby is STILL a baby! Its only been a month!"
"AND," Sarah continued, ignoring the interruption, "Jareth was only being nice by doing what I asked. now that I think of it, he was being rather sweet."
"You mean like the Fairy?" snickered Hoggle. "It bit you, remember?"
"Yes, well, I have a feeling that Jareth WON'T bite. Not me, at least, without my permission" she added with a smirk.
"Peace Lady Sarah, Sir Hoggle!" Sir Didymus broke in loudly. "and I agree with the Fair Maiden, Sir Hoggle. King Jareth does seem to fancy her a bit,"
"Fancy??" Sarah asked. "Hey, when did I say something like 'fancy'? I meant that maybe we and Jareth could be friends!" (A/N: no, don't worry, this is a J/S.)
"OH, um, aye My Lady, I meant 'fancy' as in, um, Bosom Buddies!" (that's the American translation for 'bosom companions'!) Sir Didymus did NOT want to see Sarah in Scary mode. He, Hoggle and Ludo had only seen Scary-mode- Sarah once, and it had been very scary.
Hoggle saw the warning signs and was quick to take Sir Didymus's side of the 'bosom buddies' thing. "Yeah Sarah, in the Labyrinth we consider fancy- ing the same as, like, bosom-companions and love the ame as, err, strongly liked!" Sir Didymus and Ludo and Sarah stared at him.
"Wow, you people from the Labyrinth are weird," Sarah said after a moment.
"But," Ludo started (for he had been listening) "Gwoblin man wuv Sarah!"
"HE MEANS," Hoggle put in, throwing a look in Ludo's direction, "Wuv.. le. Wuvle! It's another way of saying really, really close friends!"
"Aye, My Lady!"
"Oh." Sarah blinked. For some reason the Labyrinth was sounding weirder and weirder by the minute. "Well, anyway, um, where were we?"
"Biting Goblin Kings," Sir Didymus said.
"Yes, thank you. Now, as I was-" Sarah slowly stopped talking and stood up, going over to the window and opening it. "OH. MY. GOLLY." She said, looking out. Outside there was. SNOW!
"Its in the middle of June!" Sarah said exasperatedly. "And what kind of snow is this?? Its warm!" she scooped some from her outside window sill and showed it to Hoggle, Sir Didymus and Ludo.
"What, is it supposed to be cold?" asked Hoggle. "SNWOW!" Said Ludo happily.
"YES, its supposed to be freezing," Sarah explained. "AND its NOT supposed to snow in June."
"Well, in the Underground the snow is warm, and it snows whenever the ruler of the Labyrinth says for it to," Hoggle noted.
"So, Jareth's making it snow in the Labyrinth? But then, why is it snowing here, too? The media is gonna be all over this!"
"Well," Sir Didymus said slowly, "It could be that King Jareth isn't making it snow, and he's here, but someone else in the Labyrinth is. See - if Jareth isn't in the Labyrinth, anybody could do whatever they wanted, but it would also happen wherever Jareth is too."
"So, Jareth is here? Now? And something's doing something in the Labyrinth. Who?"
"Well, there are only a couple of people down in the Labyrinth that could do that. Ruling over that maze is pretty hard, ya know. The first is the Fairy queen, and Jareth dethroned her after she tried to take over the Labyrinth. The other is. oh no."
Hoggle looked at Sir Didymus. "You don' suppose it could be.....?"
"Nay," said Sir Didymus. "Jareth exiled him, remember?"
"Who?" asked Sarah. "Who did Jareth exile?"
"um," Hoggle thought a moment. "Its sorta complicated. In Aboveground terms, I suppose that he 'got rid of' his step brother, an Evil-looking Black Shadow Creature. His name is," Hoggle paused (for dramatic effect) "Mr. Willy!"
"SAY NOT THAT NAME!" cried Sir Didymus, clapping his hands to his ears. Or, clapping his ears down onto his head. Ambrocious whimpered and arfed and shuddered, then jumped back through the mirror into the Labyrinth in blind panic. Ludo made a tiny "eep!" noise and fainted. Hoggle clapped a hand over his mouth and quickly shut the window, looking out it in fear.
Sarah, however, burst out laughing. "Mr. Willy?" she choked (Ludo "eep!"ed again and fainted [again], Hoggle jumped, and Sir Didymus squeezed his ears down more) "What kind of a name is that? Sheesh! Haha, he sounds like a.......... Oh. My. Good. Lord." She stared at her bed. So Hoggle and Sir Didymus (Ludo fainted and Ambrocious left, remember?) turned to look at it too.
"HOLY. CHOCOLATE. COVERED. DINOSAURS." Sarah couldn't think of anything chocolate-covered that was Holy at the same time. It was illogical - DINOsaur-shaped chocolates weren't considered Gods unless you count that one guy from that one Rugrats episode, but that doesn't count. As for a religious aspect - okay, do we have to go there? Sarah is NAÏVE in case you've forgotten.
Anyhow, the reason that I just spent an entire paragraph on "Holy Chocolate Covered Dinosaurs" was because on Sarah's bed was (DUN DUN DUNN!) King Jareth the Goblin King!!! Except. he looked strange for some reason. Sarah couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was because he was sleeping? Nah, that couldn't be it. then what.........?
"Where's his make-up?" asked Hoggle innocently, and that remark was enough to wake Ludo up. "Mwake-wup?" he asked sleepily. Then he saw Jareth, thought a moment, then stood up and stood behind Sarah. "Gwoblin Man!" he cried in slight apprehension.
"Dude, that is just plain. I mean, what's going. why is he here?" Sarah looked first to Hoggle, then Sir Didymus, then to Ludo. "I know not, Fair maiden," said Sir Didymus. "Why don't you ask him yourself?"
"You mean, wake him? That would be rude!"
"Yes, well," Hoggle pointed out, "He IS sleeping in YOUR bed withOUT YOUR permission."
Ah, thought Sarah. Good point. "Uh, Jareth? Mr. Make-up-wearing-Goblin-guy? Are you going to wake up. please?" he didn't wake up. He didn't even move. For a second Sarah thought he was dead, but his forehead was still warm, so he was still alive. but then, who knows with these make-up-wearing-guys- Fairy-biting-warm-snow-in-the-middle-of-June people? For all she knew cold could mean living, and warm could mean dead. Hesitantly, she pulled the lid of one of his eyes open before dropping it closed again.
"Uh, guys? I think that he's dead." She said sadly, ignoring his rising and lowering chest and the fluttering of lashes. (can guys' eyelashes flutter? I've never gotten off my butt to test the theory, so if somebody else would like to do it for me.) "IN FACT," she went on dramatically. "I think that we should have a funeral. Right here. Now.
"Here? Now? Funeral? For him?" repeated Hoggle.
"Yes, now, here, a FUNERAL, for HIM." She pointed sternly at Jareth, who's eyes opened. He groaned a little at the severe headache the he was feeling. "Now, hold these," she gave a paper flower to Ludo, Sir Didymus, Hoggle.
Sarah took 'The Labyrinth' and opened it like a bible.
"Bow your heads," Sarah instructed to Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus, "And act like your all sad and stuff. Like your King just died or something." Hoggle gave a whispered, "Yes!" but stopped grinning and lowered his gaze sadly when Sarah hit him with a spoon from out of nowhere.
"Now," Sarah snapped, adopting a sad, monotone voice and looking in her Play Book as though she were reading it.
"We are gathered here today to mourn, mourn for the loss of our Beloved King Jareth." She said sadly. "For he whom has died at such a young age - uh, um, twenty-five. Twenty-five - such a young age to pass in battle. So young to carry a sword. So young to die. Die in battle. Our hearts will always be with you Jareth. Goodbye." She slowly closed 'The Labyrinth' and cast her paper flower over Jareth's form. The others followed suit, and Hoggle sniffled. "You never know much they mean to you until they're gone," he said before busting into tears. Sir Didymus comforted him. "There, there, Gallant Hoggle. We all must leave at some point, for we are all mortal. Just think of him as passing on to a better place." "BUT he's immortal!" Hoggle wailed, and Sir Didymus continued to pat his back consolingly.
"This has hit us all hard," Sarah said, and sent a half glare at Ludo. "aren't you sad, Ludo?" she asked.
"Swad?" Ludo thought a moment, then turned and went through the window to the Labyrinth (Sarah's vanity mirror) there he tried to throw himself in head and shoulders first again. the result? "LWUDO STUUUUUUUK!!!" he cried.
"Come, Sir Hoggle. Let us go to my home, and I shall get you something warm to drink." With the efforts of Sarah, Hoggle and Sir Didymus combined, they managed to push Ludo the rest of the way through (he needs to lose some weight, Sarah thought) and follow after. Then her mirror became a mirror again. And in it, she looked at Jareth's prone form and gasped. He had slowly sat up, and there was definitely something different about him.
"Jareth?" she asked, turning around to face him. "Aren't you dead?"
"dead?" he echoed faintly. She got up and walked over to him. "I guess you aren't. I'll tell Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus tomorrow. Right now, can you remember what happened?"
"happened?"
"Yeah, you know, how you got here."
"got here?" Jareth frowned, then slowly he began to remember.
Sarah stared at him silently for well over an hour, when he finally remembered everything. His voice was its usual cocky-Goblin King voice when he spoke again.
"I fear, Sarah, that I have been hit with an anti-aging potion." He stated this matter of factly, and didn't state it to Sarah, but to the mirror over her shoulder. Sarah glanced over at it, then looked to Jareth again and gasped. Then she remembered too. In the Labyrinth he had looked around thirty or so. When she had given the funeral, she had guessed at his age by his looks and said that he was twenty-five. Now he looked around eighteen.
"I think that since I'm in the Aboveground it'll be slowed down by now." He said softly. (A/N: *grins* oh yeah, I'm SO smart. Eighteen and fifteen are perfect. HA! TAKE THAT YOU OLDER-WOMEN-MEN-LOVERS!!!) now he turned his gaze to Sarah and stood up.
She noticed how different he looked. His hair wasn't as long and fly-away as it had been before. Now it was a golden-blond with white-blond highlights, and it came smoothly to just above his shoulders. His eyes, instead of being mismatched were. still mismatched, but the colors were deeper.
"Oh." She said after a moment. "So, uh, you going back to the Labyrinth anytime soon?"
"don't you think I've been trying?"
"no, you aren't even moving."
"I don't have to move in order to turn into an owl."
"ah."
There was a loooooooooong, loooooooooong, LOOOOOOOOOOONG moment of silence until Sarah spoke again.
"So, uh, you just plan on staying here, do you?"
"for the time being."
"Touch Toby and die."
"I've no interest whatsoever in Tobias Williams, Sarah. You wished him away, remember?"
"Shut up, your ruining my - OH NO, ITS SIX THIRTY-TWO!!!" Sarah danced on the spot. Karen always woke up at six thirty-two and came in and stared at her when she thought that Sarah was sleeping. What would she do if she saw a boy in Sarah's bedroom RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER BED?!?!?? (A/N: my parents would freak and jump to conclusions. What about yours?) Karen would DEFINITELY freak and jump to conclusions. Conclusions that were the LAST thing on Sarah's mind. Conclusions that weren't EVEN on Sarah's mind!
"You have to hide! Get out of here! Go to your precious Labyrinth and kidnap somebody else's kid!" she pointed wildly at her vanity mirror. Jareth huffed. "I do NOT kidnap children, Sarah! What do you think I am, some sort of Goblin King??" he froze and rethought that last line. "I do NOT kidnap children, Sarah! What do you think I am, some sort of perverted chicken?!?" there, that would do nicely.
"No, but Karen will if she sees you in front of my bed!"
"So? I'm not even ON it, and neither are you. What would she think is perverted chicken-y about that?"
"Because SHE'S a perverted chicken, and will jump to nassssssssty conclusions!"
"'nasssssssty conclusions'? what are those?"
"Haven't you ever seen Lord of the Rings??? Never mind, just go back to your Labyrinth!"
"I CAN'T, haven't you been listening to a word I've said? I-"
"SHUSH!!!"
They both shut up and listened. The soft sound of feet in pink bunny rabbit slippers was heard, coming towards Sarah's bedroom. Then they stopped. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, the handle began to turn with a tiny squeak. (A/N: ever seen Jurassic Park? Like that.)
Then suddenly, everything is in slow-mo! (like in Shrek with the dragon, or Monsters Inc. at the scare floor) Sarah sloooooowly jumps into the air with a long, low, slow "noooooooooooo!!!" and she flies slowly through the air. And Jareth slowly looks up and his eyes slowly get all wide and he starts to back up with a long, low, slow "Hoooooolyyyyy Peeeaaaacheeeeesssssss!!!" and as Jareth tries to back up the back of his legs hit the bed and he slowly starts to fall backward onto it, and Sarah is still flying through the air and the handle is still turning, and then everything is in normal- mo (you know, like real life) and Sarah tackles Jareth, but it only made things worse because he was already down on the bed and right then Karen opened the door all the way.
There was a looooooooooooong, loooooooooong, LOOOOOOOOONG moment of silence as Karen stared at Sarah and Jareth, who stared right back at her.
"Uh, h-hi Karen, g-good morning. Um, uh, um, are you, uh, hungry at all? I think t-that there's, um, some ch-cheerios downstairs o-on the re-re-re- refrigerator, and." she trailed off. The three of them stared at each other for another long moment. A really, really, REALLY long moment that turned into an hour. So now it was SEVEN thirty-two, and Robert (that is Sarah's dad's name, right?) was up and about to leave for work now.
"Karen, honey, have you seen my yellow spotted moo-man tie?" he called.
"Robert, dearest, come look at this, please."
"but-"
"COME!"
He rushed up the stairs and down the hall and stared at Sarah and Jareth. So now the FOUR of them stared at each other, still in the same positions, until Karen finally broke the silence.
"This is all your fault," she snarled at Robert. "I've tried and tried, but she won't listen to me! and now look what she's done, just to spite me!"
"I wouldn't do anything like THAT just to spite YOU! It would mean I care! Well, I don't! besides, dad hasn't done anything! I DO have a sense of moral, you know!" Sarah, however, was frozen on the spot. What should she do? I'm going to be grounded until I'm seventeen for this, she thought sadly.
"Then," Robert started, but then sighed and frowned. "Okay. I'll take the day off work to settle this. First of all, Sarah, you go on THAT side of the room. You, son, stay where you are." He turned towards Karen. "Go get Toby. This is obviously a family problem, so the whole family is going to lock themselves in this room until everything is back to normal. He then called in his work and said that his daughter was very sick and he was staying home. Karen disappeared and then returned a moment later with a drowsy Toby in arm. Then Robert closed the door and frowned at Sarah and Jareth. "On THAT side of the room, young lady." He ordered sternly.
Sarah slowly got up (with the help of Jareth pushing her off of him and setting her on her feet) and stumbled to her vanity table, where she collapsed.
Now, Sarah's room was small, as I'm certain you all know, so everybody was rather cramped. Jareth sat cross-legged on Sarah's bed, and Sarah sat at her vanity. Karen was holding Toby and had sat down on a chair in the corner of the bedroom, and Robert paced about in lecture mode.
"I'll question each of you separately." He decided after five minutes (exactly). "You, son, what's your name?" he stood in front of Jareth.
"Well, its certainly not 'son'," Jareth pointed out matter-of-factly. "You mean what I'm called? His Royal Highness."
"You mean His Royal tightness," Sarah said, unable to stop herself. Jareth cocked an eye at her.
"Well, actually," he started, but Robert said, "KIDS" very loudly, and both Jareth and Sarah were shocked into silence at being called a 'kid'. What an insult! To Jareth at least. We all know he ain't no 'kid', right? Right! Oh, and it was an insult to Sarah too.
"Your. Name." Robert snapped dangerously.
"Jareth. But YOU don't have permission to call me that."
"Jareth," Robert said, ignoring Jareth's last remark. "Tell me, Jareth, where do you live?"
"In the Underground."
Robert stared at his and gave a raspy sigh. "Okay, let's try something easier. Where are your parents?"
Jareth scoffed. "My parents are none of your concern. Why do you want to know?"
He shut up at The Look Robert gave him. (A/N: and you thought only GIRLS could give The Look, didn't ya? Well, think again!)
"Um," Jareth said. "My mother ran off with one of the Fairy princes so my dad blew up the Fairy kingdom (and the entire area surrounding), and my father is currently ruling the Southern half of the Underground, the Spirit realm."
It took Robert a while to translate this.
"Your parents are dead? I'm sorry. Who do you live with?" he certainly didn't sound sorry.
"Myself, stupid. Who did you think?"
"Your foster parents," Robert said.
"I don't have foster parents. That's an Aboveground thing - Human crap."
"You're too young to live on your own," Robert said pointedly.
"I am not!" Jareth shot back. "I'm over eighteen hundred!"
This also took Robert a moment to translate into English.
"Eighteen?" he echoed. "Ah. You're a college student."
Jareth stared up at him, then looked past him towards Sarah and raised an eyebrow.
"Somebody who learns," Sarah quickly translated. Jareth looked back at Robert. "Well, I guess if you put it that way." he muttered. "Under my circumstances, I suppose. But I'm the King - so don't start thinking I'm turning Human or anything."
Robert rolled his eyes. "Whatever, son. Now, tell me why you were in Sarah's bed."
"I woke up in Sarah's bed," Jareth said. "She thought I was dead and had a funeral."
"Well, what was I supposed to think?" Sarah asked. "You have WARM snow! In the middle of June! For all I knew, you were LONG gone."
"SARAH!" Robert half shouted. "don't talk like that!"
She stared at him. What did I do? She thought innocently.
"Now," Robert turned back to Jareth. "WHY did you fall asleep there."
"I didn't," Jareth said. "See, it's a long story."
"we've got time."
Jareth sighed "Well, it all started last night," he started. "I was awaiting my Room Service (which was ten minutes late) when my arch rival step brother came."
"And who is your step brother?"
"MR. WILLY!" Sarah burst out and roared with laughter. But she stopped when she saw that nobody else saw that this was funny.
"Mr. Willy," Jareth said with a nod. "Don't let his name fool you - my parents were drunk when they came up with that one - he's actually an Evil Black Shadow Creature. Anyway, he came and surprised me. I didn't know it was him until too late - he splashed me with an anti-aging potion in an attempt to kill me, I suppose. BUT, just as I blacked out I managed to grab one of my magic crystals, and it must have transported me here."
Everybody stared at him, and the only noise in the room was Toby's cooing.
"Okay," Robert said haltingly. He then turned towards Sarah, seeing that this Jareth Willy (for surely Willy was his last name) was going to be difficult. "Sarah, I want your version of the story."
Sarah shrugged. "I woke up when I heard a yell. Then I called, my, err, friends, and they told me about Jareth and Mr. Willy. Then I looked outside and there was SNOW! Warm snow! It was warm! Snow! In the middle of June!" she pointed out the window. No snow.
"It evaporated," Jareth noted.
"ANYWAY," Sarah went on, beginning to sweat. Right about now she was realizing how much trouble she was in - this was all Jareth's fault! "When I turned around again, there was Jareth on my bed! So I touched his forehead to see if her was alive, and it was warm; but he has warm snow, so I figured that 'warm' meant that he was dead. So my friends and I had a funeral, and my friends left in tears. Then I sat down here, at my vanity, when I heard JARETH WAKING UP!" she paused. "HE LIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!" she cried, pointing an accusing finger in Jareth's direction. "Sorry," he apologized. "That's okay," Sarah excepted. Then she turned back to her dad.
"He said that he had been hit with an anti-aging potion. Then he said that sinse he was in the Aboveground here, it would be slowed down. Then I asked him if he was going to leave, and he said that he'd been trying to, but couldn't. then we just stared at each other for a long time, until six thirty-two. That's when Karen always wakes up and comes to stare at me because she thinks I'm sleeping and don't notice."
"I do no such thing!" Karen shouted, going red. Jareth took this opportunity to say, "Perverted chicken!" and he pointed an accusing finger in Karen's direction.
"Sa-wee," Toby apologized. "That's okay," Jareth excepted. (A/N: in my fic, Toby is THREE YEARS OLD!! therefore, this is an AU. I'm sorry if that causes my dearly devoted readers any trouble).
"ANYHOW," Sarah continued. "I figured that I'd get in trouble if she saw a boy in front of my bed, and that she would jump to nasssssssty conclusions. So I told him to get out of here, and to go kidnap somebody else's baby, but he said he didn't kidnap babies, and Toby isn't a baby anyhow."
"RIGHT!" Toby said. Karen clapped her hand to his mouth.
"so," Sarah went on obliviously, "I started to tackle him to hide him, but he backed up and fell on my bed and I landed on him, and then Karen walked in and stared at us. And we stared at her. Then you came like an hour later and then you locked us in here and then you,"
"SARAH," Robert interrupted, "I know. Now, Karen, I want your version of the story."
Karen shrugged and answered as though she were talking about a tornado about to hit, "I came to check on Sarah - she's been acting strange ever since a month ago. But when I opened her door, I saw her and him," she motioned towards Jareth, "And I panicked. And for good reason. Do you realize what could have happened if I hadn't been there?"
"yes, dear," Robert assured her, then placed his hands on his hips and paced a while.
"Here's my theory," he said at last. "Early in the morning, Jareth Willy here comes and throws rocks at Sarah's window," Jareth scoffed. If he wanted in Sarah's bedroom through her window, he'd have done so as an owl. "when she opens it he serenades her," Sarah glanced uneasily at Jareth. She remembered that part of the Labyrinth all too well. "then he goes on to woo her, and seduces her, and she let's him in. right when they're in the position, Karen walks in." He stopped talking and looked from Jareth to Sarah. "well?" he asked.
"Um," Jareth said, "I did serenade her. At the ball - about a month ago."
"You remembered!" Sarah squealed. "Oh, I'd thought you didn't care, and that I was just another girl!"
"I could never forget about you, you're special!"
"Oh, you don't mean that, oh I'm blushing! Am I really - oh, I couldn't have noticed! What a gentleman, wow!"
Jareth and Sarah gave the other a sarcastic look then burst out laughing.
"You two, stop it!" Robert snapped. "I want the truth you two, the TRUTH!"
"But that was," Sarah protested. "Sarah, do you really expect me to believe that?"
she stared disbelievingly at her dad. "But," she started, "That's not fair!"
Jareth grimaced.
"Yes, Sarah, it is. What ISN'T fair is that you two are lying to me. and unless I get the truth I'm going to go along with my theory and you two can guess what'll happen from there."
Sarah blanched. Jareth wondered what time it was - he was hungry, he never had gotten his room service.
"Um," Sarah said wildly. "Just tell the truth, honey," Karen said. Sarah glowered at her. "Sarah, I understand what's gone on - teenage things. And I don't object to you dating, but you should date first. the truth." Robert said gently. Jareth felt very sorry for Sarah until, "ASK JARETH! HE KNOWS!"
Now Jareth didn't feel sorry for Sarah. Now he was very unhappy at her.
"I don't know, do you guys want a lie?" he asked, looking carefully at Robert and Karen. Robert thought a moment. "What we want," he said slowly, "Is a hypothetical situation of what has gone on."
"Ah." Jareth said. They wanted him to say he had seduced Sarah, then. Alrighty, he could do that. Jareth cracked his knuckles and threw a grin (a MALICIOUS grin) in Sarah's direction before saying, "In a VERY hypothetical situation," He started, noting Karen and Robert's complete attention, "Would be that when you guys went to bed, Sarah let me in and we-"
"JARETH, YOU LYING CHEAT!!!" Sarah screamed, jumping to her feet. "What?" asked Jareth defensively. "He wanted a hypothetical situation. And its obvious what TYPE of hypothetical situation he wants. I'm only doing what I'm asked."
but Jareth unfortunately (or fortunately, it depends on your Point of View) hadn't seen Scary-Mode-Sarah, and he hadn't seen the warning signs. (A/N: no, I won't kill him off.)
Sarah jumped to her feet, and Scary-mode-Sarah was unleashed in full fury. Her eyes turned red and serpentine, and she seemed to grow taller and scarier (hence, the name).
"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TELL MY DAD SOMETHING LIKE THAT! HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT POOR TOBY?!? HE'S IN HERE TOO, YA KNOW! HE'S THREE FREAKIN' YEARS OLD! HOW. HOW DARE YOU!!!" and she would have attacked him right then and there, but I have to end this chapter, so I'll tell you what happens later.
TBC!
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A/N: no, really, I'll post faster, I promise.
Disclaimer: *sighs* okay, we all know what I'm going to say here, right? If no, then........ I do not own. 'scuse me while I go search for my anti- depression coffee.
Chapter Started: 3/8/03 Chapter Finished 3/9/03
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third person POV, Sarah's Bedroom
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Sarah was sleeping in bed (this, by the way, is about the same time Jareth is attacked) at night. Just............. sleeping. Dreaming about you-know- who, of course, as well. Anyway, she was sleeping in bed, dreaming, when she woke up suddenly from a yell. No, she didn't yell, she heard a yell (and it woke her up). It sounded rather like Jareth's voice.
"I'm going crazy," she muttered, looking around snoozily. "Hoggle, Ludo, Sir Didymus, I need you!" her mirror flashed a little, and then out popped Hoggle. "What's wrong, Sarah?" he asked
After Hoggle came Sir Didymus, on His trusty steed's back. "My Lady, what dost thou ask of us?" he asked.
Then, after Hoggle and Sir Didymus came Ludo, or his head and shoulders at least. "LWUDO STUUUUUUCK!" he cried.
"Ssh, you guys, don't wake up my dad or Karen or Toby. And I called you because I thought I heard Jareth yell. You know, the Goblin King. Is everything okay in the Labyrinth?" she patted the bed next to her, and Hoggle, Sir Didymus (how do you spell Ambrocious's name?? Did I do that right?) and Ambrocious sat next to her. Ludo appeared a few minutes later after he had decided that going in head first wasn't going to work.
"No, everything's fine," Sir Didymus said. "At least with us it is. Jareth's been locked up in his room ever since you left."
"Living off of room service," Hoggle put in. "I kind of feel sorry for him."
"What about you, Ludo?" asked Sarah.
"Lwudo." Ludo stopped for a moment, trying to remember the question. "Lwudo feel sworry for Gwoblin Man." He decided at last, hoping that it had something remotely to do with whatever Sarah had said.
"Well," Sarah said haltingly, "You guys could've told me before hand. Poor Jareth. I think that we should cheer him up!"
"why?"
"Yes, why? He's the evil Goblin King in case you've forgotten. He stole your brother!"
"Well, actually, I've been thinking about that." Sarah explained. "I was young then, and Toby was a baby,"
"Your STILL young, fifteen Sarah, and Toby is STILL a baby! Its only been a month!"
"AND," Sarah continued, ignoring the interruption, "Jareth was only being nice by doing what I asked. now that I think of it, he was being rather sweet."
"You mean like the Fairy?" snickered Hoggle. "It bit you, remember?"
"Yes, well, I have a feeling that Jareth WON'T bite. Not me, at least, without my permission" she added with a smirk.
"Peace Lady Sarah, Sir Hoggle!" Sir Didymus broke in loudly. "and I agree with the Fair Maiden, Sir Hoggle. King Jareth does seem to fancy her a bit,"
"Fancy??" Sarah asked. "Hey, when did I say something like 'fancy'? I meant that maybe we and Jareth could be friends!" (A/N: no, don't worry, this is a J/S.)
"OH, um, aye My Lady, I meant 'fancy' as in, um, Bosom Buddies!" (that's the American translation for 'bosom companions'!) Sir Didymus did NOT want to see Sarah in Scary mode. He, Hoggle and Ludo had only seen Scary-mode- Sarah once, and it had been very scary.
Hoggle saw the warning signs and was quick to take Sir Didymus's side of the 'bosom buddies' thing. "Yeah Sarah, in the Labyrinth we consider fancy- ing the same as, like, bosom-companions and love the ame as, err, strongly liked!" Sir Didymus and Ludo and Sarah stared at him.
"Wow, you people from the Labyrinth are weird," Sarah said after a moment.
"But," Ludo started (for he had been listening) "Gwoblin man wuv Sarah!"
"HE MEANS," Hoggle put in, throwing a look in Ludo's direction, "Wuv.. le. Wuvle! It's another way of saying really, really close friends!"
"Aye, My Lady!"
"Oh." Sarah blinked. For some reason the Labyrinth was sounding weirder and weirder by the minute. "Well, anyway, um, where were we?"
"Biting Goblin Kings," Sir Didymus said.
"Yes, thank you. Now, as I was-" Sarah slowly stopped talking and stood up, going over to the window and opening it. "OH. MY. GOLLY." She said, looking out. Outside there was. SNOW!
"Its in the middle of June!" Sarah said exasperatedly. "And what kind of snow is this?? Its warm!" she scooped some from her outside window sill and showed it to Hoggle, Sir Didymus and Ludo.
"What, is it supposed to be cold?" asked Hoggle. "SNWOW!" Said Ludo happily.
"YES, its supposed to be freezing," Sarah explained. "AND its NOT supposed to snow in June."
"Well, in the Underground the snow is warm, and it snows whenever the ruler of the Labyrinth says for it to," Hoggle noted.
"So, Jareth's making it snow in the Labyrinth? But then, why is it snowing here, too? The media is gonna be all over this!"
"Well," Sir Didymus said slowly, "It could be that King Jareth isn't making it snow, and he's here, but someone else in the Labyrinth is. See - if Jareth isn't in the Labyrinth, anybody could do whatever they wanted, but it would also happen wherever Jareth is too."
"So, Jareth is here? Now? And something's doing something in the Labyrinth. Who?"
"Well, there are only a couple of people down in the Labyrinth that could do that. Ruling over that maze is pretty hard, ya know. The first is the Fairy queen, and Jareth dethroned her after she tried to take over the Labyrinth. The other is. oh no."
Hoggle looked at Sir Didymus. "You don' suppose it could be.....?"
"Nay," said Sir Didymus. "Jareth exiled him, remember?"
"Who?" asked Sarah. "Who did Jareth exile?"
"um," Hoggle thought a moment. "Its sorta complicated. In Aboveground terms, I suppose that he 'got rid of' his step brother, an Evil-looking Black Shadow Creature. His name is," Hoggle paused (for dramatic effect) "Mr. Willy!"
"SAY NOT THAT NAME!" cried Sir Didymus, clapping his hands to his ears. Or, clapping his ears down onto his head. Ambrocious whimpered and arfed and shuddered, then jumped back through the mirror into the Labyrinth in blind panic. Ludo made a tiny "eep!" noise and fainted. Hoggle clapped a hand over his mouth and quickly shut the window, looking out it in fear.
Sarah, however, burst out laughing. "Mr. Willy?" she choked (Ludo "eep!"ed again and fainted [again], Hoggle jumped, and Sir Didymus squeezed his ears down more) "What kind of a name is that? Sheesh! Haha, he sounds like a.......... Oh. My. Good. Lord." She stared at her bed. So Hoggle and Sir Didymus (Ludo fainted and Ambrocious left, remember?) turned to look at it too.
"HOLY. CHOCOLATE. COVERED. DINOSAURS." Sarah couldn't think of anything chocolate-covered that was Holy at the same time. It was illogical - DINOsaur-shaped chocolates weren't considered Gods unless you count that one guy from that one Rugrats episode, but that doesn't count. As for a religious aspect - okay, do we have to go there? Sarah is NAÏVE in case you've forgotten.
Anyhow, the reason that I just spent an entire paragraph on "Holy Chocolate Covered Dinosaurs" was because on Sarah's bed was (DUN DUN DUNN!) King Jareth the Goblin King!!! Except. he looked strange for some reason. Sarah couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was because he was sleeping? Nah, that couldn't be it. then what.........?
"Where's his make-up?" asked Hoggle innocently, and that remark was enough to wake Ludo up. "Mwake-wup?" he asked sleepily. Then he saw Jareth, thought a moment, then stood up and stood behind Sarah. "Gwoblin Man!" he cried in slight apprehension.
"Dude, that is just plain. I mean, what's going. why is he here?" Sarah looked first to Hoggle, then Sir Didymus, then to Ludo. "I know not, Fair maiden," said Sir Didymus. "Why don't you ask him yourself?"
"You mean, wake him? That would be rude!"
"Yes, well," Hoggle pointed out, "He IS sleeping in YOUR bed withOUT YOUR permission."
Ah, thought Sarah. Good point. "Uh, Jareth? Mr. Make-up-wearing-Goblin-guy? Are you going to wake up. please?" he didn't wake up. He didn't even move. For a second Sarah thought he was dead, but his forehead was still warm, so he was still alive. but then, who knows with these make-up-wearing-guys- Fairy-biting-warm-snow-in-the-middle-of-June people? For all she knew cold could mean living, and warm could mean dead. Hesitantly, she pulled the lid of one of his eyes open before dropping it closed again.
"Uh, guys? I think that he's dead." She said sadly, ignoring his rising and lowering chest and the fluttering of lashes. (can guys' eyelashes flutter? I've never gotten off my butt to test the theory, so if somebody else would like to do it for me.) "IN FACT," she went on dramatically. "I think that we should have a funeral. Right here. Now.
"Here? Now? Funeral? For him?" repeated Hoggle.
"Yes, now, here, a FUNERAL, for HIM." She pointed sternly at Jareth, who's eyes opened. He groaned a little at the severe headache the he was feeling. "Now, hold these," she gave a paper flower to Ludo, Sir Didymus, Hoggle.
Sarah took 'The Labyrinth' and opened it like a bible.
"Bow your heads," Sarah instructed to Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus, "And act like your all sad and stuff. Like your King just died or something." Hoggle gave a whispered, "Yes!" but stopped grinning and lowered his gaze sadly when Sarah hit him with a spoon from out of nowhere.
"Now," Sarah snapped, adopting a sad, monotone voice and looking in her Play Book as though she were reading it.
"We are gathered here today to mourn, mourn for the loss of our Beloved King Jareth." She said sadly. "For he whom has died at such a young age - uh, um, twenty-five. Twenty-five - such a young age to pass in battle. So young to carry a sword. So young to die. Die in battle. Our hearts will always be with you Jareth. Goodbye." She slowly closed 'The Labyrinth' and cast her paper flower over Jareth's form. The others followed suit, and Hoggle sniffled. "You never know much they mean to you until they're gone," he said before busting into tears. Sir Didymus comforted him. "There, there, Gallant Hoggle. We all must leave at some point, for we are all mortal. Just think of him as passing on to a better place." "BUT he's immortal!" Hoggle wailed, and Sir Didymus continued to pat his back consolingly.
"This has hit us all hard," Sarah said, and sent a half glare at Ludo. "aren't you sad, Ludo?" she asked.
"Swad?" Ludo thought a moment, then turned and went through the window to the Labyrinth (Sarah's vanity mirror) there he tried to throw himself in head and shoulders first again. the result? "LWUDO STUUUUUUUK!!!" he cried.
"Come, Sir Hoggle. Let us go to my home, and I shall get you something warm to drink." With the efforts of Sarah, Hoggle and Sir Didymus combined, they managed to push Ludo the rest of the way through (he needs to lose some weight, Sarah thought) and follow after. Then her mirror became a mirror again. And in it, she looked at Jareth's prone form and gasped. He had slowly sat up, and there was definitely something different about him.
"Jareth?" she asked, turning around to face him. "Aren't you dead?"
"dead?" he echoed faintly. She got up and walked over to him. "I guess you aren't. I'll tell Hoggle, Ludo and Sir Didymus tomorrow. Right now, can you remember what happened?"
"happened?"
"Yeah, you know, how you got here."
"got here?" Jareth frowned, then slowly he began to remember.
Sarah stared at him silently for well over an hour, when he finally remembered everything. His voice was its usual cocky-Goblin King voice when he spoke again.
"I fear, Sarah, that I have been hit with an anti-aging potion." He stated this matter of factly, and didn't state it to Sarah, but to the mirror over her shoulder. Sarah glanced over at it, then looked to Jareth again and gasped. Then she remembered too. In the Labyrinth he had looked around thirty or so. When she had given the funeral, she had guessed at his age by his looks and said that he was twenty-five. Now he looked around eighteen.
"I think that since I'm in the Aboveground it'll be slowed down by now." He said softly. (A/N: *grins* oh yeah, I'm SO smart. Eighteen and fifteen are perfect. HA! TAKE THAT YOU OLDER-WOMEN-MEN-LOVERS!!!) now he turned his gaze to Sarah and stood up.
She noticed how different he looked. His hair wasn't as long and fly-away as it had been before. Now it was a golden-blond with white-blond highlights, and it came smoothly to just above his shoulders. His eyes, instead of being mismatched were. still mismatched, but the colors were deeper.
"Oh." She said after a moment. "So, uh, you going back to the Labyrinth anytime soon?"
"don't you think I've been trying?"
"no, you aren't even moving."
"I don't have to move in order to turn into an owl."
"ah."
There was a loooooooooong, loooooooooong, LOOOOOOOOOOONG moment of silence until Sarah spoke again.
"So, uh, you just plan on staying here, do you?"
"for the time being."
"Touch Toby and die."
"I've no interest whatsoever in Tobias Williams, Sarah. You wished him away, remember?"
"Shut up, your ruining my - OH NO, ITS SIX THIRTY-TWO!!!" Sarah danced on the spot. Karen always woke up at six thirty-two and came in and stared at her when she thought that Sarah was sleeping. What would she do if she saw a boy in Sarah's bedroom RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER BED?!?!?? (A/N: my parents would freak and jump to conclusions. What about yours?) Karen would DEFINITELY freak and jump to conclusions. Conclusions that were the LAST thing on Sarah's mind. Conclusions that weren't EVEN on Sarah's mind!
"You have to hide! Get out of here! Go to your precious Labyrinth and kidnap somebody else's kid!" she pointed wildly at her vanity mirror. Jareth huffed. "I do NOT kidnap children, Sarah! What do you think I am, some sort of Goblin King??" he froze and rethought that last line. "I do NOT kidnap children, Sarah! What do you think I am, some sort of perverted chicken?!?" there, that would do nicely.
"No, but Karen will if she sees you in front of my bed!"
"So? I'm not even ON it, and neither are you. What would she think is perverted chicken-y about that?"
"Because SHE'S a perverted chicken, and will jump to nassssssssty conclusions!"
"'nasssssssty conclusions'? what are those?"
"Haven't you ever seen Lord of the Rings??? Never mind, just go back to your Labyrinth!"
"I CAN'T, haven't you been listening to a word I've said? I-"
"SHUSH!!!"
They both shut up and listened. The soft sound of feet in pink bunny rabbit slippers was heard, coming towards Sarah's bedroom. Then they stopped. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, the handle began to turn with a tiny squeak. (A/N: ever seen Jurassic Park? Like that.)
Then suddenly, everything is in slow-mo! (like in Shrek with the dragon, or Monsters Inc. at the scare floor) Sarah sloooooowly jumps into the air with a long, low, slow "noooooooooooo!!!" and she flies slowly through the air. And Jareth slowly looks up and his eyes slowly get all wide and he starts to back up with a long, low, slow "Hoooooolyyyyy Peeeaaaacheeeeesssssss!!!" and as Jareth tries to back up the back of his legs hit the bed and he slowly starts to fall backward onto it, and Sarah is still flying through the air and the handle is still turning, and then everything is in normal- mo (you know, like real life) and Sarah tackles Jareth, but it only made things worse because he was already down on the bed and right then Karen opened the door all the way.
There was a looooooooooooong, loooooooooong, LOOOOOOOOONG moment of silence as Karen stared at Sarah and Jareth, who stared right back at her.
"Uh, h-hi Karen, g-good morning. Um, uh, um, are you, uh, hungry at all? I think t-that there's, um, some ch-cheerios downstairs o-on the re-re-re- refrigerator, and." she trailed off. The three of them stared at each other for another long moment. A really, really, REALLY long moment that turned into an hour. So now it was SEVEN thirty-two, and Robert (that is Sarah's dad's name, right?) was up and about to leave for work now.
"Karen, honey, have you seen my yellow spotted moo-man tie?" he called.
"Robert, dearest, come look at this, please."
"but-"
"COME!"
He rushed up the stairs and down the hall and stared at Sarah and Jareth. So now the FOUR of them stared at each other, still in the same positions, until Karen finally broke the silence.
"This is all your fault," she snarled at Robert. "I've tried and tried, but she won't listen to me! and now look what she's done, just to spite me!"
"I wouldn't do anything like THAT just to spite YOU! It would mean I care! Well, I don't! besides, dad hasn't done anything! I DO have a sense of moral, you know!" Sarah, however, was frozen on the spot. What should she do? I'm going to be grounded until I'm seventeen for this, she thought sadly.
"Then," Robert started, but then sighed and frowned. "Okay. I'll take the day off work to settle this. First of all, Sarah, you go on THAT side of the room. You, son, stay where you are." He turned towards Karen. "Go get Toby. This is obviously a family problem, so the whole family is going to lock themselves in this room until everything is back to normal. He then called in his work and said that his daughter was very sick and he was staying home. Karen disappeared and then returned a moment later with a drowsy Toby in arm. Then Robert closed the door and frowned at Sarah and Jareth. "On THAT side of the room, young lady." He ordered sternly.
Sarah slowly got up (with the help of Jareth pushing her off of him and setting her on her feet) and stumbled to her vanity table, where she collapsed.
Now, Sarah's room was small, as I'm certain you all know, so everybody was rather cramped. Jareth sat cross-legged on Sarah's bed, and Sarah sat at her vanity. Karen was holding Toby and had sat down on a chair in the corner of the bedroom, and Robert paced about in lecture mode.
"I'll question each of you separately." He decided after five minutes (exactly). "You, son, what's your name?" he stood in front of Jareth.
"Well, its certainly not 'son'," Jareth pointed out matter-of-factly. "You mean what I'm called? His Royal Highness."
"You mean His Royal tightness," Sarah said, unable to stop herself. Jareth cocked an eye at her.
"Well, actually," he started, but Robert said, "KIDS" very loudly, and both Jareth and Sarah were shocked into silence at being called a 'kid'. What an insult! To Jareth at least. We all know he ain't no 'kid', right? Right! Oh, and it was an insult to Sarah too.
"Your. Name." Robert snapped dangerously.
"Jareth. But YOU don't have permission to call me that."
"Jareth," Robert said, ignoring Jareth's last remark. "Tell me, Jareth, where do you live?"
"In the Underground."
Robert stared at his and gave a raspy sigh. "Okay, let's try something easier. Where are your parents?"
Jareth scoffed. "My parents are none of your concern. Why do you want to know?"
He shut up at The Look Robert gave him. (A/N: and you thought only GIRLS could give The Look, didn't ya? Well, think again!)
"Um," Jareth said. "My mother ran off with one of the Fairy princes so my dad blew up the Fairy kingdom (and the entire area surrounding), and my father is currently ruling the Southern half of the Underground, the Spirit realm."
It took Robert a while to translate this.
"Your parents are dead? I'm sorry. Who do you live with?" he certainly didn't sound sorry.
"Myself, stupid. Who did you think?"
"Your foster parents," Robert said.
"I don't have foster parents. That's an Aboveground thing - Human crap."
"You're too young to live on your own," Robert said pointedly.
"I am not!" Jareth shot back. "I'm over eighteen hundred!"
This also took Robert a moment to translate into English.
"Eighteen?" he echoed. "Ah. You're a college student."
Jareth stared up at him, then looked past him towards Sarah and raised an eyebrow.
"Somebody who learns," Sarah quickly translated. Jareth looked back at Robert. "Well, I guess if you put it that way." he muttered. "Under my circumstances, I suppose. But I'm the King - so don't start thinking I'm turning Human or anything."
Robert rolled his eyes. "Whatever, son. Now, tell me why you were in Sarah's bed."
"I woke up in Sarah's bed," Jareth said. "She thought I was dead and had a funeral."
"Well, what was I supposed to think?" Sarah asked. "You have WARM snow! In the middle of June! For all I knew, you were LONG gone."
"SARAH!" Robert half shouted. "don't talk like that!"
She stared at him. What did I do? She thought innocently.
"Now," Robert turned back to Jareth. "WHY did you fall asleep there."
"I didn't," Jareth said. "See, it's a long story."
"we've got time."
Jareth sighed "Well, it all started last night," he started. "I was awaiting my Room Service (which was ten minutes late) when my arch rival step brother came."
"And who is your step brother?"
"MR. WILLY!" Sarah burst out and roared with laughter. But she stopped when she saw that nobody else saw that this was funny.
"Mr. Willy," Jareth said with a nod. "Don't let his name fool you - my parents were drunk when they came up with that one - he's actually an Evil Black Shadow Creature. Anyway, he came and surprised me. I didn't know it was him until too late - he splashed me with an anti-aging potion in an attempt to kill me, I suppose. BUT, just as I blacked out I managed to grab one of my magic crystals, and it must have transported me here."
Everybody stared at him, and the only noise in the room was Toby's cooing.
"Okay," Robert said haltingly. He then turned towards Sarah, seeing that this Jareth Willy (for surely Willy was his last name) was going to be difficult. "Sarah, I want your version of the story."
Sarah shrugged. "I woke up when I heard a yell. Then I called, my, err, friends, and they told me about Jareth and Mr. Willy. Then I looked outside and there was SNOW! Warm snow! It was warm! Snow! In the middle of June!" she pointed out the window. No snow.
"It evaporated," Jareth noted.
"ANYWAY," Sarah went on, beginning to sweat. Right about now she was realizing how much trouble she was in - this was all Jareth's fault! "When I turned around again, there was Jareth on my bed! So I touched his forehead to see if her was alive, and it was warm; but he has warm snow, so I figured that 'warm' meant that he was dead. So my friends and I had a funeral, and my friends left in tears. Then I sat down here, at my vanity, when I heard JARETH WAKING UP!" she paused. "HE LIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!" she cried, pointing an accusing finger in Jareth's direction. "Sorry," he apologized. "That's okay," Sarah excepted. Then she turned back to her dad.
"He said that he had been hit with an anti-aging potion. Then he said that sinse he was in the Aboveground here, it would be slowed down. Then I asked him if he was going to leave, and he said that he'd been trying to, but couldn't. then we just stared at each other for a long time, until six thirty-two. That's when Karen always wakes up and comes to stare at me because she thinks I'm sleeping and don't notice."
"I do no such thing!" Karen shouted, going red. Jareth took this opportunity to say, "Perverted chicken!" and he pointed an accusing finger in Karen's direction.
"Sa-wee," Toby apologized. "That's okay," Jareth excepted. (A/N: in my fic, Toby is THREE YEARS OLD!! therefore, this is an AU. I'm sorry if that causes my dearly devoted readers any trouble).
"ANYHOW," Sarah continued. "I figured that I'd get in trouble if she saw a boy in front of my bed, and that she would jump to nasssssssty conclusions. So I told him to get out of here, and to go kidnap somebody else's baby, but he said he didn't kidnap babies, and Toby isn't a baby anyhow."
"RIGHT!" Toby said. Karen clapped her hand to his mouth.
"so," Sarah went on obliviously, "I started to tackle him to hide him, but he backed up and fell on my bed and I landed on him, and then Karen walked in and stared at us. And we stared at her. Then you came like an hour later and then you locked us in here and then you,"
"SARAH," Robert interrupted, "I know. Now, Karen, I want your version of the story."
Karen shrugged and answered as though she were talking about a tornado about to hit, "I came to check on Sarah - she's been acting strange ever since a month ago. But when I opened her door, I saw her and him," she motioned towards Jareth, "And I panicked. And for good reason. Do you realize what could have happened if I hadn't been there?"
"yes, dear," Robert assured her, then placed his hands on his hips and paced a while.
"Here's my theory," he said at last. "Early in the morning, Jareth Willy here comes and throws rocks at Sarah's window," Jareth scoffed. If he wanted in Sarah's bedroom through her window, he'd have done so as an owl. "when she opens it he serenades her," Sarah glanced uneasily at Jareth. She remembered that part of the Labyrinth all too well. "then he goes on to woo her, and seduces her, and she let's him in. right when they're in the position, Karen walks in." He stopped talking and looked from Jareth to Sarah. "well?" he asked.
"Um," Jareth said, "I did serenade her. At the ball - about a month ago."
"You remembered!" Sarah squealed. "Oh, I'd thought you didn't care, and that I was just another girl!"
"I could never forget about you, you're special!"
"Oh, you don't mean that, oh I'm blushing! Am I really - oh, I couldn't have noticed! What a gentleman, wow!"
Jareth and Sarah gave the other a sarcastic look then burst out laughing.
"You two, stop it!" Robert snapped. "I want the truth you two, the TRUTH!"
"But that was," Sarah protested. "Sarah, do you really expect me to believe that?"
she stared disbelievingly at her dad. "But," she started, "That's not fair!"
Jareth grimaced.
"Yes, Sarah, it is. What ISN'T fair is that you two are lying to me. and unless I get the truth I'm going to go along with my theory and you two can guess what'll happen from there."
Sarah blanched. Jareth wondered what time it was - he was hungry, he never had gotten his room service.
"Um," Sarah said wildly. "Just tell the truth, honey," Karen said. Sarah glowered at her. "Sarah, I understand what's gone on - teenage things. And I don't object to you dating, but you should date first. the truth." Robert said gently. Jareth felt very sorry for Sarah until, "ASK JARETH! HE KNOWS!"
Now Jareth didn't feel sorry for Sarah. Now he was very unhappy at her.
"I don't know, do you guys want a lie?" he asked, looking carefully at Robert and Karen. Robert thought a moment. "What we want," he said slowly, "Is a hypothetical situation of what has gone on."
"Ah." Jareth said. They wanted him to say he had seduced Sarah, then. Alrighty, he could do that. Jareth cracked his knuckles and threw a grin (a MALICIOUS grin) in Sarah's direction before saying, "In a VERY hypothetical situation," He started, noting Karen and Robert's complete attention, "Would be that when you guys went to bed, Sarah let me in and we-"
"JARETH, YOU LYING CHEAT!!!" Sarah screamed, jumping to her feet. "What?" asked Jareth defensively. "He wanted a hypothetical situation. And its obvious what TYPE of hypothetical situation he wants. I'm only doing what I'm asked."
but Jareth unfortunately (or fortunately, it depends on your Point of View) hadn't seen Scary-Mode-Sarah, and he hadn't seen the warning signs. (A/N: no, I won't kill him off.)
Sarah jumped to her feet, and Scary-mode-Sarah was unleashed in full fury. Her eyes turned red and serpentine, and she seemed to grow taller and scarier (hence, the name).
"HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TELL MY DAD SOMETHING LIKE THAT! HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT POOR TOBY?!? HE'S IN HERE TOO, YA KNOW! HE'S THREE FREAKIN' YEARS OLD! HOW. HOW DARE YOU!!!" and she would have attacked him right then and there, but I have to end this chapter, so I'll tell you what happens later.
TBC!
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A/N: no, really, I'll post faster, I promise.