Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha (damn!). The song used is "Solitude," by Evanescence.
"K-Kagome..."
Kagome forced a smile on her face as Inu Yasha fumbled for an explaination, and waved her hand around in the air in a placeting gesture. Kikyo had already departed after Kagome had stumbled upon their little 'meeting.'
"It's fine, Inu Yasha..." Her steady voice covered the emotions she really felt. He quieted, still watching her with suspicious eyes. She blinked, and spoke again.
"I just came to tell you...that I need to head home for another test." She silently prayed that he would buy her little white lie. True, she had a test coming up, but it wasn't for another week. He stayed silent, as if contemplating her answer.
Please believe me...please...I just want to get away from you...from the pain...
"One day. I'll be back for you tomorrow night." He replied, his voice in monotone. She sighed a little and nodded, before turning around and departing for the well. Inu Yasha stood staring after her.
Throwing her pack across the room, Kagome flopped onto her bed after hearing the satisfying crash that it made. She was glad her family was out, or else she would have gotten an earful for the show of violent behavior.
Why does it hurt so bad?
She screamed into her pillow, trying to relieve some of the frustration, but failing miserably.
Without moving her head from where it remained buried in her pillow, she felt around with her hand until she found her stereo remote where it rested on her nightstand.
Hitting the play button, not caring which CD or song played, she rolled over onto her back. Staring at the celing, as if hoping it would answer her unspoken question.
Why?
Hearing the music come on, she vagely recognized the song that was starting. "Solitude," by Evanescence.
How perfectly ironic, she thought bitterly. Hearing the music begin the verses, she sang along.
How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth
Kagome's emotions finally broke down, the flood of tears streaming down her face and dripping onto her comforter. Her hand fisted the material above her heart.
Why can't I tell him? She bit back a choked sob. Because I know he loves her, not me. Always Kikyo, never Kagome.
He wants the one that will drag him to Hell, the one who is dead, the one who wanted him to change, to become human. Not the alive one, the one who loves him...for who he is.
How long have I stood here beside you
I live through you
You looked through me
\\Flashback//
"Inu Yasha..." Kagome stood up and looked into his eyes. He stared back silently.
"Can I stay with you?" She whispered.
\\End Flashback//
I could have stayed here permanently, but no. I chose to cause myself more suffering by being by his side. Why?
Because I wanted to be with him...but the pain is becoming too much now...
Kikyo. Never Kagome. He never sees me as Kagome. Always as Kikyo. She rolled onto her side, facing away from the window.
Damn it!
Oh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Oh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you
At least one thing is for sure, I'll always be alone, she thought sarcastically.
After the mission is over, Sango and Miroku will go off, probably with each other. Shippo...will probably go with them. Inu Yasha will go to Hell with Kikyo. As for me, I'll head back here.
Alone...even Mama, Sota and Jii-chan have become so distant from me...probably wondering if I'll ever come back for good.
How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
A year now. It's been a whole fucking year since I asked to stay by his side. I can't take it anymore...
She cried out and wrapped her arms around herself, curling herself into a ball.
How pathetic am I...all this pain is making me weak. I've been so stupid and blind to keep doing this to myself. Her eyes dulled, tears still leaking in steady streams.
...keep torturing myself.
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who now is left alone but me
Inu Yasha frowned at the spot where Kagome had stood but a second ago.
"Feh, fine my ass. Kagome, I know you were lying..." He growled.
He could sense the underlying sadness that she hid and smell the unshed tears. Making up his mind, he followed her. Once he was sure she was in her time, he leapt into the well.
He made his way out of the well house, noticing the eerie silence that loomed around the shrine. Her family's scents were faint, indicating they hadn't been there for a couple of hours. Kagome's scent was strong, however, indicating she was indeed home. He leapt into the tree beside her window and peered in.
The room was dark, only illuminated by a strange purplish light - what had Kagome called it? Right, a black light. It cast a eerie light upon Kagome's figure lying on the bed, her white blouse almost glowing in the weird light.
He could see and smell the hidden tears behind her blank gaze as she stared at the celing. Music started to come from that 'ste-re-o' thingy of hers and as the music played, he watched as the tears finally leaked from her eyes. Still watching her, as if transfixed, he noticed she started to sing along with the music.
Oh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Oh, Solitude,
Only you, only true
Inu Yasha continued to watch her as she sang, a choked sob escaping her lips every now and then. His golden eyes softened as he listened to the music and watched the girl cry.
Kagome, oblivious to the hanyou outside her window, rolled over her back again. Her hand came up and grasped the nearly complete Shikon no Tama that dangled from the chain around her neck. She held it for a minute, then violently yanked on the chain, causing it to snap.
The jewel rested in her clenched fist, glowing softly in the black light. A moment went by before she tossed it forcefully across the room, where it landed next to her pack. She turned on her side, facing the pack and the jewel. Her eyes glazed over as she stared blankly at the jewel, though the tears had finally stopped, and only her slightly ragged breath gave any indication that she had been crying.
Everyone leave me stranded
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind
Silently opening her window, Inu Yasha climbed into her room, still out of sight. He paused, as if contemplating what to do next. Kagome finally spoke, shocking him out of his trance.
"I know you're there, Inu Yasha." He nearly face-faulted. So much for going unnoticed.
"Feh." He sat cross-legged against her bed, trying to avoid eye contact. The music from the stereo was the only sound in the room until Inu Yasha broke the silence. Kagome sat up on her bed, staring out the window.
"What happened to 'stu-dy-ing' or what ever you call it?" He asked, a light twinge of worry and annoyance in his voice.
"I'm done for the night. And I'm not going back until tomorrow night. You said one night, remember?" She replied, keeping her voice steady and monotone, "So why are you here if it's not to drag me back? Come back just to annoy me?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "No."
"Then why?" He stood up at her question, and faced her. She turned her head away from his intense gaze.
"Why'd you leave?"
I can't stay here another night
She scowled. "I told you, I have a test tomorrow to study for!" Kagome crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.
"Bullshit. You're a terrible liar, you know that?" Glaring at him, she turned to face the wall, away from him.
"If you just came here to pester me, then I suggest you leave." She replied coolly. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him, his gaze softening as he noticed the pained look in her eyes.
"Tell me, Kagome. Why did you leave?" He lowered his voice, no longer angry. Kagome bit her lip and looked away.
"I...I can't..." She whispered.
"It was because of Kikyo, wasn't it? What you saw...?"
Your secret in my heart
Who could it be
Kagome paled at his statement. Everything she had witnessed came back to her.
\\Flashback//
Kagome was looking for Inu Yasha in order to inform him of another shard rumor.
She found him, alright.
Inu Yasha leaned against the trunk of the Goshimboku, holding Kikyo tenderly in his arms. Kagome was close enough that she could hear what was being said between them.
"...Inu Yasha?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you still want to go to Hell with me?" Kikyo waited as Inu Yasha seemed to ponder his answer.
"I...I don't know. We still have to defeat Naraku...and complete the Shikon no Tama."
"What are you going to do with the jewel?" Her question caused Kagome to listen more closely.
Kami...if he catches me here...I'm dead! She thought, although she was curious as what he wanted to do with the jewel.
"I don't know..." Kikyo seemed content with that answer as she leaned more into his embrace. He voice came soft when she finally spoke again.
"You could wish me back to life..."
"Yes, that's possible." He replied.
"You do realize that for that wish to come true, though, my reincarnation must die?" Kagome held her breath.
"Yes." At Inu Yasha's answer, Kagome let out a small gasp.
\\End Flashback//
"Not what I saw...what I heard..." She replied softly, her eyes tearing up again.
Oh, Can't you see
All along it was me
Inu Yasha stared at her as she furiously wiped at the tears that leaked from her face. Kagome stood up and walked to her window, gazing out at the Goshimboku. Her bangs hid her eyes as she mumbled to herself. He strained to hear what she was muttering, and caught one thing.
"'...for that wish to come true, my reincarnation must die...'" He nearly fell off the bed in shock when Kagome raised her head up and let out a hollow, bitter laugh.
"True..." She let out another harsh laugh, seeming unable to stop. Turning around to face Inu Yasha, she spread her arms wide and raised her head up in determination.
"Go ahead, Inu Yasha! Kill me, bring Kikyo back to life!" A sadistic grin overcame her features as she waited. He seemed speechless, his mouth moving but no words came out.
"Well? Get it over with!!" She yelled. Inu Yasha snapped out of his shock and shook his head.
"Why are you asking me to kill you?!"
How can you be so blind
As to see right through me
"Why?! You want to fucking know why?!" She spat. "Because I can't take it anymore! It doesn't matter that I love you, I'm gonna die anyway by your hands, so why not make it now?!"
She was sobbing by now, tears streaming down her face as she kept her arms out wide, waiting for him to strike. He stood up, and she shut her eyes tight, awaiting the pain to come.
Her eyes snapped open when he grabbed her in a fierce hug. Inu Yasha buried his face in her hair, embracing her tighter.
And oh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Oh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you
"How can you think that?!" He asked angrily. "You know I'd never kill you, not for anybody!" Kagome shuddered, letting out another sob as she mumbled. Inu Yasha bent his head near her mouth to hear what she was saying.
"...that's not what I heard you tell Kikyo..." She whispered.
"Idiot!" He hugged her tighter, inhaling her scent that was streaked with the salty smell of tears. "You never let me finish telling Kikyo the rest!"
She closed her eyes tightly, gripping the front of his haori, waiting for the truth to come out. Her eyes opened again when he whispered in her ear.
"I said I knew you could die for that wish to be possible, but I never said I would allow it!" He pulled back, staring into her glassy blue eyes. Inu Yasha leaned his forehead against hers and sighed. As Kagome's sobs started to die down into sniffles, a though came to him.
"Did you mean what you said?" She blinked confusedly at him, and he took a deep breath, "...that you love me...?" Kagome buried her face in his haori again. He barely caught her answer as she spoke it, somewhat bitterly.
"Yes. But what does it matter, you love Kikyo and-" He but her off by placing a clawed finger on her lips, then leaning his forehead against hers again.
"You don't know much then, do you?" She glared at him, then turned her gaze away. He sighed and tightened his grip around her waist.
"Kagome, look at me..." He paused until she finally turned her gaze back at him, "I may owe Kikyo for her dying, but that's all. I care about her, sure, but she isn't the one I...love." Kagome closed her eyes, as thought expecting him to yell at her for her next question.
"Then who...? You...and her..." She breathed, eyes remained closed as she gripped tighter on the material of his haori. Her eyes opened in surprise when she felt him touch her lips with his own.
"...You..." He whispered against her mouth, silencing any protests she may have with a kiss.
Oh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Oh, Solitude,
Only you, only true
Yeah, I'm ending this here. I hadn't done a romantic one yet, so I made this. It's still quiet angsty, and the worst part is that I haven't heard the song, but the lyrics were just screaming the Kag/Inu/Kik situation. ^^ R/R!
"K-Kagome..."
Kagome forced a smile on her face as Inu Yasha fumbled for an explaination, and waved her hand around in the air in a placeting gesture. Kikyo had already departed after Kagome had stumbled upon their little 'meeting.'
"It's fine, Inu Yasha..." Her steady voice covered the emotions she really felt. He quieted, still watching her with suspicious eyes. She blinked, and spoke again.
"I just came to tell you...that I need to head home for another test." She silently prayed that he would buy her little white lie. True, she had a test coming up, but it wasn't for another week. He stayed silent, as if contemplating her answer.
Please believe me...please...I just want to get away from you...from the pain...
"One day. I'll be back for you tomorrow night." He replied, his voice in monotone. She sighed a little and nodded, before turning around and departing for the well. Inu Yasha stood staring after her.
Throwing her pack across the room, Kagome flopped onto her bed after hearing the satisfying crash that it made. She was glad her family was out, or else she would have gotten an earful for the show of violent behavior.
Why does it hurt so bad?
She screamed into her pillow, trying to relieve some of the frustration, but failing miserably.
Without moving her head from where it remained buried in her pillow, she felt around with her hand until she found her stereo remote where it rested on her nightstand.
Hitting the play button, not caring which CD or song played, she rolled over onto her back. Staring at the celing, as if hoping it would answer her unspoken question.
Why?
Hearing the music come on, she vagely recognized the song that was starting. "Solitude," by Evanescence.
How perfectly ironic, she thought bitterly. Hearing the music begin the verses, she sang along.
How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth
Kagome's emotions finally broke down, the flood of tears streaming down her face and dripping onto her comforter. Her hand fisted the material above her heart.
Why can't I tell him? She bit back a choked sob. Because I know he loves her, not me. Always Kikyo, never Kagome.
He wants the one that will drag him to Hell, the one who is dead, the one who wanted him to change, to become human. Not the alive one, the one who loves him...for who he is.
How long have I stood here beside you
I live through you
You looked through me
\\Flashback//
"Inu Yasha..." Kagome stood up and looked into his eyes. He stared back silently.
"Can I stay with you?" She whispered.
\\End Flashback//
I could have stayed here permanently, but no. I chose to cause myself more suffering by being by his side. Why?
Because I wanted to be with him...but the pain is becoming too much now...
Kikyo. Never Kagome. He never sees me as Kagome. Always as Kikyo. She rolled onto her side, facing away from the window.
Damn it!
Oh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Oh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you
At least one thing is for sure, I'll always be alone, she thought sarcastically.
After the mission is over, Sango and Miroku will go off, probably with each other. Shippo...will probably go with them. Inu Yasha will go to Hell with Kikyo. As for me, I'll head back here.
Alone...even Mama, Sota and Jii-chan have become so distant from me...probably wondering if I'll ever come back for good.
How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
A year now. It's been a whole fucking year since I asked to stay by his side. I can't take it anymore...
She cried out and wrapped her arms around herself, curling herself into a ball.
How pathetic am I...all this pain is making me weak. I've been so stupid and blind to keep doing this to myself. Her eyes dulled, tears still leaking in steady streams.
...keep torturing myself.
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who now is left alone but me
Inu Yasha frowned at the spot where Kagome had stood but a second ago.
"Feh, fine my ass. Kagome, I know you were lying..." He growled.
He could sense the underlying sadness that she hid and smell the unshed tears. Making up his mind, he followed her. Once he was sure she was in her time, he leapt into the well.
He made his way out of the well house, noticing the eerie silence that loomed around the shrine. Her family's scents were faint, indicating they hadn't been there for a couple of hours. Kagome's scent was strong, however, indicating she was indeed home. He leapt into the tree beside her window and peered in.
The room was dark, only illuminated by a strange purplish light - what had Kagome called it? Right, a black light. It cast a eerie light upon Kagome's figure lying on the bed, her white blouse almost glowing in the weird light.
He could see and smell the hidden tears behind her blank gaze as she stared at the celing. Music started to come from that 'ste-re-o' thingy of hers and as the music played, he watched as the tears finally leaked from her eyes. Still watching her, as if transfixed, he noticed she started to sing along with the music.
Oh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Oh, Solitude,
Only you, only true
Inu Yasha continued to watch her as she sang, a choked sob escaping her lips every now and then. His golden eyes softened as he listened to the music and watched the girl cry.
Kagome, oblivious to the hanyou outside her window, rolled over her back again. Her hand came up and grasped the nearly complete Shikon no Tama that dangled from the chain around her neck. She held it for a minute, then violently yanked on the chain, causing it to snap.
The jewel rested in her clenched fist, glowing softly in the black light. A moment went by before she tossed it forcefully across the room, where it landed next to her pack. She turned on her side, facing the pack and the jewel. Her eyes glazed over as she stared blankly at the jewel, though the tears had finally stopped, and only her slightly ragged breath gave any indication that she had been crying.
Everyone leave me stranded
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind
Silently opening her window, Inu Yasha climbed into her room, still out of sight. He paused, as if contemplating what to do next. Kagome finally spoke, shocking him out of his trance.
"I know you're there, Inu Yasha." He nearly face-faulted. So much for going unnoticed.
"Feh." He sat cross-legged against her bed, trying to avoid eye contact. The music from the stereo was the only sound in the room until Inu Yasha broke the silence. Kagome sat up on her bed, staring out the window.
"What happened to 'stu-dy-ing' or what ever you call it?" He asked, a light twinge of worry and annoyance in his voice.
"I'm done for the night. And I'm not going back until tomorrow night. You said one night, remember?" She replied, keeping her voice steady and monotone, "So why are you here if it's not to drag me back? Come back just to annoy me?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "No."
"Then why?" He stood up at her question, and faced her. She turned her head away from his intense gaze.
"Why'd you leave?"
I can't stay here another night
She scowled. "I told you, I have a test tomorrow to study for!" Kagome crossed her arms over her chest with a huff.
"Bullshit. You're a terrible liar, you know that?" Glaring at him, she turned to face the wall, away from him.
"If you just came here to pester me, then I suggest you leave." She replied coolly. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face him, his gaze softening as he noticed the pained look in her eyes.
"Tell me, Kagome. Why did you leave?" He lowered his voice, no longer angry. Kagome bit her lip and looked away.
"I...I can't..." She whispered.
"It was because of Kikyo, wasn't it? What you saw...?"
Your secret in my heart
Who could it be
Kagome paled at his statement. Everything she had witnessed came back to her.
\\Flashback//
Kagome was looking for Inu Yasha in order to inform him of another shard rumor.
She found him, alright.
Inu Yasha leaned against the trunk of the Goshimboku, holding Kikyo tenderly in his arms. Kagome was close enough that she could hear what was being said between them.
"...Inu Yasha?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you still want to go to Hell with me?" Kikyo waited as Inu Yasha seemed to ponder his answer.
"I...I don't know. We still have to defeat Naraku...and complete the Shikon no Tama."
"What are you going to do with the jewel?" Her question caused Kagome to listen more closely.
Kami...if he catches me here...I'm dead! She thought, although she was curious as what he wanted to do with the jewel.
"I don't know..." Kikyo seemed content with that answer as she leaned more into his embrace. He voice came soft when she finally spoke again.
"You could wish me back to life..."
"Yes, that's possible." He replied.
"You do realize that for that wish to come true, though, my reincarnation must die?" Kagome held her breath.
"Yes." At Inu Yasha's answer, Kagome let out a small gasp.
\\End Flashback//
"Not what I saw...what I heard..." She replied softly, her eyes tearing up again.
Oh, Can't you see
All along it was me
Inu Yasha stared at her as she furiously wiped at the tears that leaked from her face. Kagome stood up and walked to her window, gazing out at the Goshimboku. Her bangs hid her eyes as she mumbled to herself. He strained to hear what she was muttering, and caught one thing.
"'...for that wish to come true, my reincarnation must die...'" He nearly fell off the bed in shock when Kagome raised her head up and let out a hollow, bitter laugh.
"True..." She let out another harsh laugh, seeming unable to stop. Turning around to face Inu Yasha, she spread her arms wide and raised her head up in determination.
"Go ahead, Inu Yasha! Kill me, bring Kikyo back to life!" A sadistic grin overcame her features as she waited. He seemed speechless, his mouth moving but no words came out.
"Well? Get it over with!!" She yelled. Inu Yasha snapped out of his shock and shook his head.
"Why are you asking me to kill you?!"
How can you be so blind
As to see right through me
"Why?! You want to fucking know why?!" She spat. "Because I can't take it anymore! It doesn't matter that I love you, I'm gonna die anyway by your hands, so why not make it now?!"
She was sobbing by now, tears streaming down her face as she kept her arms out wide, waiting for him to strike. He stood up, and she shut her eyes tight, awaiting the pain to come.
Her eyes snapped open when he grabbed her in a fierce hug. Inu Yasha buried his face in her hair, embracing her tighter.
And oh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Oh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you
"How can you think that?!" He asked angrily. "You know I'd never kill you, not for anybody!" Kagome shuddered, letting out another sob as she mumbled. Inu Yasha bent his head near her mouth to hear what she was saying.
"...that's not what I heard you tell Kikyo..." She whispered.
"Idiot!" He hugged her tighter, inhaling her scent that was streaked with the salty smell of tears. "You never let me finish telling Kikyo the rest!"
She closed her eyes tightly, gripping the front of his haori, waiting for the truth to come out. Her eyes opened again when he whispered in her ear.
"I said I knew you could die for that wish to be possible, but I never said I would allow it!" He pulled back, staring into her glassy blue eyes. Inu Yasha leaned his forehead against hers and sighed. As Kagome's sobs started to die down into sniffles, a though came to him.
"Did you mean what you said?" She blinked confusedly at him, and he took a deep breath, "...that you love me...?" Kagome buried her face in his haori again. He barely caught her answer as she spoke it, somewhat bitterly.
"Yes. But what does it matter, you love Kikyo and-" He but her off by placing a clawed finger on her lips, then leaning his forehead against hers again.
"You don't know much then, do you?" She glared at him, then turned her gaze away. He sighed and tightened his grip around her waist.
"Kagome, look at me..." He paused until she finally turned her gaze back at him, "I may owe Kikyo for her dying, but that's all. I care about her, sure, but she isn't the one I...love." Kagome closed her eyes, as thought expecting him to yell at her for her next question.
"Then who...? You...and her..." She breathed, eyes remained closed as she gripped tighter on the material of his haori. Her eyes opened in surprise when she felt him touch her lips with his own.
"...You..." He whispered against her mouth, silencing any protests she may have with a kiss.
Oh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Oh, Solitude,
Only you, only true
Yeah, I'm ending this here. I hadn't done a romantic one yet, so I made this. It's still quiet angsty, and the worst part is that I haven't heard the song, but the lyrics were just screaming the Kag/Inu/Kik situation. ^^ R/R!