No Girls Allowed!

As Squall walked slowly to his dormitory many thoughts were going through his head, like…how long do I have to be Selphie? Will Selphie be mad if I break up with Irvine? Does she expect me to bathe as long as I'm in her body? As he racked his mind he walked toward his dorm but was yelled at by the disciplinary committee.

"RESTRICTED." Fujin screamed pointing at him. Seifer was leaning against the wall; he just let Fujin and Rajin take care of it.

"Girls aren't allowed near the boys dorms, ya know?" Rajin started, "It just isn't right ya know?" Squall stared blankly at them for awhile until he realized, I have to sleep in Selphie's room?!?

"But Fujin is…" Squall started to argue.

"NEGATIVE." she said loudly.

"She's just patrolling with us ya know." Rajin said punching her playfully in the shoulder.

"BASTARD." She yelled kicking him and sending him flying into the wall. Seifer laughed and straightened up.

"Our patrol of the boy's dorm is complete, move out!" he said leading them out. "Selphie, you need to go back to your dorm…Fujin, escort her." Seifer said waving Fujin off.

"AFFIRMATIVE." She replied. Fujin grabbed Squall firmly by the arm and lead him to Selphie's dorm. "STAY." She said as she shut the door behind her upon leaving.

Squall sighed as he took a good look around the room. Pink, everywhere. Smiley faces, everywhere. Irvine? EVERYWHERE?!? Seeing Selphie's shrine to Irvine, Squall picked up one of her pink fluffy markers and made sure to draw mustaches on every single one of her pictures.

After doing this he was somewhat satisfied. He then decided to rest, but after noticing her bed was pink with a giant Paul Frank monkey on it, he hesitated. He decided to do more examining of her room. He noticed a salamander in a cage, on the cage there was bubble lettering outlined in glitter that said Mr. Tinkerbell. Sucky name perhaps, but that is a cool looking salamander, he thought as he walked over for closer examination.

While looking at the lizard Squall heard something going on outside. He heard a boy's voice that sounded like his and it sounded as if something terrible had happened. "But you don't understand…if I don't feed Mr. Tinkerbell he's going to starve!" Oh no! He opened the door to see Selphie in his body freaking out. Seifer found 'Squall's' new behavior very amusing and was laughing his butt off.

"We just stopped that Tilmitt girl a second ago from going into your room…now we are having to stop you from going into hers? What's the deal? Don't like Rinoa anymore?" Seifer asked after he caught his breath.

"Oh yeah, my room is this way!" she said turning around and heading to Squall's room. He slapped his hand to his forehead. "Don't forget to feed your salamander!" Selphie said turning around. Squall could swear that her eyes (or rather his) turned red with evilness.

Selphie walked, or rather skipped down the hall to Squall's dorms. She didn't pay any heed to all those people staring and pointing at her. Or that one that was coming closer to her carrying a straight jacket. She just continued to skip to Squall's dormitory. As she walked in, she noticed that it was very boring. "Uh…" she started in disgust. "He has a bad judgment of interior decorating." She said looking around. His walls were blank. There was a Weapons Monthly October addition, the bed spread was very…boring. The floor had nothing special, not even a pizza stain. Why couldn't he be a 'normal' teenager?

Her eyes wandered to his gunblade case that was sitting on the floor. She smiled evilly and picked it up.

*From the Bystander's POV*

"Ah ha ha ha ha!" Squall laughed madly as he jumped around the room. His gunblade was clutched tightly in his hand. "I'm going to KILL you!" he said as he did a little ninja/kung fu pose and raised his sword. He looked like such a total idiot that the five bystanders that had started watching him tripled in size. There were now almost fifteen people watching him. Rinoa and Irvine who had just gotten of the Ragnarok were among those people.

"Off to Dr. Kadowaki…" Irvine stated turning on his heel and heading to the infirmary. Rinoa followed him.

*Back to Selph*

Selphie was having fun, it wasn't nearly as fun playing hunter with nunchuckus as it was playing it with a gunblade. But her fun was cut short as the doctor came into the room, it seemed she was hiding something behind her back, but Selphie wasn't paying attention.

"Hey! What's up doc?" she asked while pretending to take a bite out of a carrot. "That's not nearly as good as my Groucho Marx impression…hold on." She said stepping off of Squall's bed. But before she could start the doctor pulled out a tranquilizer and injected her with it.

"Ouch…" she whined as she collapsed to the ground.

Dr. Kadowaki sighed and turned to Irvine. "I'm telling you, the tests show that both are normal, my theory is that they are really stressed." She said looking down at 'Squall' he was sleeping so peacefully. With the help of Irvine she placed 'him' in 'his' bed.

"But it can't be exhaustion, not if he has the energy to jump around like a maniac…"

"I heard that!" Selphie said sitting up. The doctor stared at her in awe but she collapsed again after a few seconds. Kadowaki shook her head and looked at Rinoa who's mouth was wide open with horror.

"I'm really worried about him…" she started. "This is definitely not like him, at all." She said shaking her head.

"I know dear." She answered looking at the now motionless 'Squall'.

"Can someone help me?" came Selphie's voice, only she didn't sound cheerful, she sounded more boring and tired. They turned to see her leaning against the doorway. Oh shit, Irvine's here!

"What's the prob Sefie?" he asked.

"Uh, I can't remember where I put Sammy's food…" he answered.

"Who's Sammy?" Irvine and Rinoa asked in unison.

"My salamander…" he answered simply.

"But I thought his name was Mr. Tinkerbell." Irvine replied, he sounded more than slightly confused.

"It was…" he said shortly. They all stared at him as if saying 'why?' so he continued, "I realized how horrible of a name Mr. Tinkerbell is." He said crossing his arms over his chest, forgetting once again that his anatomy had changed.

Rinoa didn't understand why there was a look of immense pain on 'Selphie's' face but decided not to worry about it too much, after all according to Selphie Mr. Tinkerbell…or Sammy…is more important then anyone…except maybe Irvine.

As soon as Squall recuperated, he stood straight up and started talking again as if nothing ever happened. "Okay then let's go." Irvine and Rinoa exchanged confused glances and followed.

As they approached the door Squall opened it somewhat reluctantly. "Irvine, stay out here." He said.

"Wh-what? Why? I thought you loved me!" he said in a hurt tone.

"Uhhhh…" he started, "no." and he shut Irivine out. As Irvine stared blankly at the door, analyzing what had just happened. He thought to himself, maybe she's planning a surprise for me. Yeah, that must be it, he thought calmly as he opened the door. And what he saw DID surprise him.

"My beautiful face!" he shrieked when he saw all his pictures that had been vandalized.

"I told you to stay out…" Squall said boringly. Rinoa was standing on her tiptoes in the closet, and she had in her hand a bag of salamander food. She gave it to Squall and led the stuttering Irvine out of the room, so that 'Selphie' could feed her salamander in peace.

*A Midnight Snack is Upon Us*

Selphie woke up in the middle of the night. She was really hungry. Really REALLY hungry, so she looked around her room. Typically Foozums the elephant escorted her to the cafeteria when she was hungry, but did Squall have any fluffy toys? No! But there in the corner of his room, yet again was his gunblade.

"Since Foozums isn't here, I guess then this will have to protect me," she said picking it up. She looked at the lion hanging from it, "Let's see, Squall called you Griever, but that name is so…depressing! I'm going to call you Toodles!" she picked the gunblade up and walked stealthily out of his room.

"Goest thither into the wild unknown…the cafeteria!" she said. She just loved in old english and when she didn't know the word, she just added an 'ith' to the end of it! "Fearith not thy brave companion. For with thy might I shall cut thee down!" she laughed madly.

"Student Number 6923476, ((Not sure of his real ID number)) Squall Leonhart?" said one of the Garden Faculty members, "It's passed curfew, what are you doing out of bed?"

"Ridding the garden of evil sir!" she said saluting him. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing. She took this look as that he didn't care, and she continued down the hall. As she skipped still talking in old english she remembered a play she had once seen.

"Bereft of father! Bereft of mother! To what ends shalt thou live?" she giggled madly. "For the sake of our friend let us bury our steel in to the heart of the wretched king Leo!" she exclaimed driving the gunblade into a wall. "Oopsies. That isn't good huh?"

"What happened?" asked the Garden Staff person running over to her.

"It's stuck!" she said shuffling her feet. He looked with his eyes wide open at their leader. This guy, one of the Garden's top SeeDs had just vandalized school property. He kept watching as 'Squall' struggled with the gunblade to get it out of the wall. Selphie had her foot against the wall for pressure and was pulling with all her might to dislodge the weapon. Finally it came out, and forced knocked her to the ground.

She got up and dusted herself off, "Now if you excuse me I have a date with the left over hotdogs!" she said started down the hallway. The Garden Staff was petrified with astonishment. He decided that he would discuss it with Cid the following day, so he went back to his post.

"Yes Toodles. They think they can take you from me do they? My preciousssss…" she snickered as she waddled while hugging the gunblade to her chest. As she did so she noticed that it was cracked. "Poopy!" she exclaimed seeing this, "Squall always takes good care of his gunblade…uh! He's gonna kill me!" She looked around desperately for a solution. "Maybe some super glue?"

"I know! Duct tape can fix anything! I can just use that!" she said snapping her fingers. "But before I roam the janitors closet, I shall see to the hotdogs!" she said skipping to the cafeteria.

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Well! That's the end of chapter two! Tune in next time to find out what happens once Selphie reaches the cafeteria! Oooohhhh…dramatic music. What will Squall do when he finds out that Griever has been renamed to Toodles? Or Selphie when she finds out about Mr. Tinkerbell! Review us ideas and such! Remember flames and feedback are greatly appreciated!