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Babysitting and Mesmerize Training

The obnoxious sound of Selphie's phone was more than enough to wake Squall up. Rolling over, he noticed the time. It was the weekend, meaning he was sleeping in as long as he could, and it was two o'clock. Well, it can be one of two people. He thought going over to pick it up. If it's Irvine, I'll have to kill him.

"Hello?" he asked groggily into the receiver.

"Selphie?" it was a woman, "Is that you dear?"

"Uh :::yawn::: yeah."

"Sorry if I woke you up," no you're not, "But Bill and I were wondering if you would baby-sit Alex for us again tonight. We were wanting to out to eat and see a movie." Baby-sit? Not my style. As he was getting ready to answer 'no', the woman started up again. "Of course we'd be paying you. How does, 500 gil and hour sound?"

Squall thought for awhile. Babysitting was definitely not something he had ever done in his life, but 500 gil was an awful lot of money if you thought about it. "What time do you want me over there?"

"Is five alright? I know you're busy with your SeeD studies and all, but we'd really appreciate it."

"I guess I'll see you at five then."

"Oh thank you dear!" Squall nodded boringly and hung up the phone. Heading towards the closet he decided to wear Selphie's trademark outfit, being the most comfortable thing she owned.

*Meanwhile, what could be going on with Selphie?*

Selphie stood in a salute in front of Headmaster Cid. "Right on time Squall." Cid nodded smiling. "I just received word from Trabia that there has been a recent dilemma regarding Mesmerizes. Seems they have been 'a terrible nuisance'." He read from the report he was holding.

"Oh well," he continued looking at Selphie, "Your job, Squall, is to do what you want. Exterminate them or whatever, but they need to be taken care of." Take care of them! Selphie squealed with joy.

"Alright Headmaster! I will get on it as soon as possible!" she saluted him a second time and ran out of the room.

"Hmmm, he seemed happy. Probably wants to get away."

*Conflict! Conflict! AHHHH!*

After realizing that he had no idea where this kid lived, Squall decided to ask Selphie.

"Oh, he lives in Trabia. You can come with me! I'm going on a mission to take care of Mesmerizes!" her eyes lit up as she continued, "I'm going to start a corral, and have Mesmerize rides."

"What?! But the machine should be done tomorrow!" he yelled at her. "You can't leave, because we are going back to Dollet to get switched back!"

"Well, sor-ry. It just so happens that I've always dreamed of having a Mesmerize of my own! And I would hug it and feed it and call it George!" her hands were clasped together as she went on with describing her lifelong dream.

"Look Selphie! I really don't care about your dreams, I want my body back!" Selphie smiled evilly and turned away from him.

"Then I guess I'll have to stay away as long as I possibly can, just to irritate you!"

Okay, I've had to put up with her body, her PERIOD for the last few days. I deserve better! "Look, I haven't shaved your legs the whole time I've had your body."

Looking down with disgust at the legs that were once hers, Selphie noticed disgusting stubble. "Sicko! If you haven't shaved you should at least wear pants!"

"You have pants?!"

"Well, uh, no. But that's besides the point!" If looks could kill, Squall's would've at that minute. Getting the picture, Selphie gave in, "Okay fine, I'll go back to Dollet with you. But if my rank goes down, I'll have to kick someone's butt!" she punched his shoulder playfully, but only got a scowl in return.

"I'll have the advantage if it works." Squall replied, referring to the machine. This time it was Selphie that scowled. Without much more words they parted to get ready for the missions. They mutually agreed to meet at the Ragnarok at four thirty.

*The babysitter from hell*

As Selphie piloted the Ragnarok, she noticed something strange about Squall. It seemed he was literally prepared for battle. The nunchakus were in their sheath on his back, and he had a suitcase full of armor.

"Uh Squall, you know, this is babysitting, not war."

"I've heard the stories. Rinoa used to baby-sit for that Big Bad Rascal⤺" he stopped in mid sentence and shook his head. "I'll be prepared for anything."

"No you wont! I'll be taking those!" she exclaimed taking everything away from him. "His mother has a weird thing about weapons. She'd drop kick you out of her house if she saw you near those nunchakus."

Squall sulked for awhile. I'll never win. I have no weapons⤺MAGIC! She can't take my magic away from me too! "Oh and Squall⤺magic too. I'll have to take all the magic you've junctioned. We don't want her to think you're a sorceress do we?" she giggled madly, but Squall didn't find it the least bit funny.

Before going to work out the Mesmerize problem, Selphie dropped Squall off at the house he would be babysitting for. It was a giant mansion, surrounded by an iron fence. No wonder they're paying so much. There is no way out, and the damn place is probably haunted. There to greet him at the door was a plump woman with short red hair.

"Selphie! It's so good to see you again!" she exclaimed as she bounded over and hugged him. Squall thought he would die from lack of oxygen before she let go. "Alex can't wait to see you! He's waiting inside!"

The woman shoved Squall into the house. Sitting on the floor in front of the television was a little boy, probably five at the most. He was too engrossed in watching Spongebob Squarepants to notice.

"Alex, Selphie is here!" the boy turned around from where he sat. A smile spread across his face and he jumped up off of the floor.

"Selphie! Selphie! Selphie!" he exclaimed jumping up and down. Then, the boy grabbed onto Squall's leg, despite all the stubble.

"Also, I'm sure you remember this from last time, but he shouldn't eat any sugar. Numbers are by the counter⤺" Squall looked down at his leg, where the boy was still attached. Damn, I'm gonna hafta get this kid surgically removed or something. It was obvious, to everyone except maybe the woman that he wasn't paying any attention to a thing she was saying.

"Well, that's all! I'll see you two in a few hours. Have fun!" A man came walking down the stairs and took the woman by the arm. The two left and almost automatically the child looked up at Squall with any evil glint in his eye.

"What is it?" Squall asked getting a little freaked out.

"I'm hungry." I don't know how to cook. That woman never mentioned cooking!

"What do you want?"

"What do we have?" Rolling his eyes, Squall headed to the kitchen and looked through the pantry. Nowhere did they have Raman noodles, the only thing that he could actually make. Alex followed behind to look as well.

"I want Easy Mac!" he said pointing to a blue box. That shouldn't be too hard to cook.

Even following the directions exactly, Squall still found a way to screw it up. After pulling the crap-in-a-dish out of the microwave, he set it in front of the five-year old. Alex looked at Squall in disgust, but he picked up his spoon and started to dig in.

The noodles were sticking to the bottom of the bowl, and, much to Alex's dislike the noodles on the top weren't done, and were still crunchy. But that wasn't as bad as the fact that, "You forgot the cheese." Alex pointed out.

"What?" Alex pointed to his meal, sure enough there wasn't a hint of cheese in it. Getting severely agitated, Squall asked with his teeth clenched, "Is it Cheesy Mac? No! It's Easy Mac!"

Sniffles could be heard coming from the other side of the room. "What? Are you gonna cry?" Alex quickly shook his head and wiped his tears, but still refused to eat the macaroni. "Look kid you have to eat. If you starve, I won't be paid."

Tears ran down the child's face. Keep the kid happy until the parents come home. He walked casually to the pantry and searched it. I was a kid once, what did I like when I was a kid? SOYCUBES! As he continued to look through the pantry, he noticed much to his dislike, they had no soycubes.

Alex remained crying in the background as Squall continued to search. He moved from the pantry to one of the cabinets. After moving several bags of chips out of the way, he noticed a package of Pixie Stix. Oh yeah, kids like candy. Maybe this will keep him happy for awhile. Casually, he opened the bag up and pulled a few out and tossed them at the boy.

Alex looked up with watery eyes, but when he saw the Pixie Stix, it all went away. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" he squealed as he opened one after another and poured them into his mouth, letting the pure sugar dissolve on his tongue. Sighing, Squall sat down in a spare chair and watched as the kid grabbed another handful of Pixie Stix.

*Five minutes later*

"Wohoo!" Alex screamed as he zipped across the room. The five year old had changed clothes and his underwear was on the outside of his pants. Also, his baby blanket was tied around his neck like a cape. "I'm Sugar Man! Watch me destroy this mere mortal with my super amazing strength!" He exclaimed as he picked up a vase off of a pedestal.

There was no way out! Even if he managed to get outside of the house alive, the iron gate would hold him in. He was trapped! It was like a prison!

"Hey kid! Watch it! That's fragile!" regardless of Squall's plea, Alex dropped the vase on the floor. Squall dived in for it just in time and set it back on its pedestal. However, Sugar Man was already on his way into the kitchen, where there were many knives and other sharp pointy things.

When Squall arrived, he was too late. Alex had found all the silverware and was eyeing the knives with interest. But because Squall was ten years older and ten years faster (somewhat) he grabbed the knife out of his site.

"Now!" he roared angrily. "Sit!" Alex just continued to run circles around the kitchen. "SIT!" he roared again, this time pointing the knife at the boy. Looking terrified, Alex did as he was told. "Now, you better stay there. If you know what's good for you." Squall narrowed his eyes menacingly, causing Alex to giggle.

"You look funny when you're mad Sefie!" he laughed. Squall sweatdropped and turned to the bag of Pixie Stix.

"And, because I can't put these back where they were without you finding them. I guess I'll just have to finish them myself." Squall looked at innocent looking bag of Pixie Stix. Aren't these things just flavored sugar? How could they possibly taste good?

*A Mesmerize Named George*

"So what's the big problem?" Selphie asked upon arriving at Trabia Garden. The man that had greeted her simply turned her head to look straight at a field. A hoard of Mesmerizes were jumping around and flinging their horns everywhere, completely destroying one part of the Garden. "Oh they're so cute!" she clasped her hands together and nuzzled them against one of her cheeks.
"Uh, just do what you have to⤺" the man's eyebrows raised and he ran off. For fear of his life, be it from either the psychopathic SeeD, or a stray horn.

Excitedly, Selphie ran into the middle of the field and petted a Mesmerize. "Hello George!" she exclaimed happily. The Mesmerize looked at her wide-eyed as a group of several other Mesmerizes developed around them. "Oh, you love me! You really love me!" As if answering her, all of the Mesmerizes head butted her out of the field.

"Playing hard to get, eh?" she winced as she rubbed her sore bum. "Time for Plan B."

*Squall? On a Pixie Stix high?*

"This stuff is great!" Squall said as he bounced up and down in his chair. In one of his hands he was clenching wrappers of countless Pixie Stix, and in his other, he had the remaining few that he would soon be finishing. Meanwhile, Alex was staring longingly at the last of the sweets. Noticing this, Squall smiled evilly.

"You want 'em?" he asked waving them in front of the kids face. Alex nodded excitedly. "Well, you'll have to fight me for 'em!" Squall yelled.

He ran over to the counter and pulled on one of the drawers that held pots and pans. Quickly, he placed a colander (or a spaghetti strainer, whatever you call them) on his head and he grabbed a pan lid and used it for a shield. Lastly, he grabbed a spatula and held it in the air. "It's war!" he declared.

Alex's weapon of choice was a whisk and his armor included a pan for a helmet and another pan lid for a shield. In the middle of the room, lay those innocent looking Pixie Stix, the reward for winning this battle. The first one to get to them won, but it wouldn't be as easy as they thought.

Squall reached the pile of sweets first but just as he was ready to grasp them, Alex jumped on him, tackling him into the ground. As a distraction, he started beating Squall over the head with his whisk. Victory was near for the young boy, however Squall wouldn't give up that easily.

Letting out a ferocious battle cry, Squall grabbed his shield in one hand and his spatula in the other and started to try and knock the five year old off course. But Alex came back with a vicious counter attack. This time, he knocked Squall's colander off his head, and placed his own helmet on it, then with all his strength, hit the side of the pan.

The ringing reverberated off the sides of the pan and temporarily stunned Squall, thus giving Alex the advantage. Just as he neared the Pixie Stix, Squall thrust his leg out in front of him. Using his legs, Squall squeezed the boy.

"Say uncle!" he demanded. Alex struggled but couldn't get out of the lock. "Say it!"

"Okay okay! Uncle! Uncle!" Squall smiled and let go of him. Standing up cockily, he started for the Pixie Stix. "I never said I surrendered!" Alex yelled running at him again. This time when Squall was tackled, Alex sat on the small of his back and started tickling him.

"CHEATER!" Squall screamed as he struggled to evade the grasp. However, nothing he was doing seemed to help.

"Surrender!"

"No!"

"Surrender!"

"NEVER!" Squall yelled. Summoning up all his energy (with the help of Pixie Stix he had quite a bit) he managed to stand with Alex still on his back. Reaching down he grabbed the last handful of candy. "I AM VICTOIOUS!" he screamed triumphantly.

The ringing of the telephone however, interrupted his victory as he rushed to answer it. "Selphie? Is that you?" a woman asked.

"Yup, sure is!" Squall answered twirling the cord around his index finger.

"Oh, we just left the theater and we should be home in a few minutes."

"Oh that's great! Can't wait 'til you get back!"

"We'll see you soon then. Bye!"

"Buh Bye!" Squall answered. Smiling he looked around the house, but his smile soon faded. The house was trashed! From the looks of it Hurricane Hugo had decided to pay them a visit.

"Time to get cleaning!"

*Selphie's Plan*

Selphie had taken a small trip to the store and bought the following things: ribbon, a pole, rope and artificial flowers. Sure, it looked extremely silly to passerbys. I mean, seriously, a big handsome muscular guy (drools) is wrapping ribbon around a pole and telling it periodically, "You will be so pretty when I get done with you!"

After long hours of working, Selphie finally finished. Again, she walked with her head held high to the center of the Mesmerizes. They stopped terrorizing the Garden long enough to watch the man invading their territory.

With ease, she shoved the pole into the ground. It was wrapped with several pink shaded ribbons and an arrangement of flowers topped the whole thing off. Delicately started to tie the rope around the pole. At the end of each rope was a loop big enough to slip over a Mesmerizes head then be tightened. (So in other words, like a hanging knot O.O)

As quietly as she could, she crept up behind her first victim. Quickly, she slipped the loop over its head and tightened the knot. Despite the horse's neighing and protesting, she jumped on its back and started riding bareback. Eventually the horse calmed down.

"See! This isn't so bad, huh Georgie?" she slipped off the back of the poor animal and started to chase after the next Mesmerize that was so unlucky as to cross her path.

*Hide the evidence!*

"Wow! Selphie, once again you have outdone yourself!" Alex's mother praised Squall. "You cleaned and even got Alex in bed before nine!" Yeah, I had to pay him⤺ "You even have a fire going! You are truly the sweetest girl ever!" Squall looked at the fireplace where the Pixie Stix wrappers were crackling. Hopefully she didn't notice.

"So how are you going to get back to Balamb?" the man asked. Damn! Never thought of that!

"I think I'll call Sel-uh, I mean Squall." The man nodded and pointed him towards the phone. Okay, think Squall, think! There's no way she'll have a phone on her⤺I guess my only hope lies with :::gulp::: Irvine.

"You know what?" Alex's mom piped in. "Where are you heading? I could give you a ride." Squall let out a sigh of relief. Well, I need to be with Selphie because we're going to Dollet tomorrow.

"Trabia Garden if that's alright ma'am." He answered politely. The woman smiled and nodded.

"Hop in the car. I'll get you there in no time." Squall nodded and did as he was told. "Be back in a while honey!" she called after her husband.

The woman was like a freaking mad man! It seemed that she was the one on Pixie Stix at that moment the way she was driving. At one point she'd be on the right side of the road, then 2.5 seconds later she was on the left. Also, she was going a good seventy-five miles per hour on a thirty-five miles per hour road.

But, thanks to her reckless driving, the made it to Trabia Garden in record time. "Here's you money." She said handing him 1,500 gil. "Come over anytime! You're always welcome!" she yelled out the window as she pulled out and drove off.

Well, first things first. Need to find Selphie. It was getting late, and the sun had set a long time ago making it hard to see. The Garden's lights were on, and he could faintly make something out in the distance.

The familiar shape of the Ragnarok was the first thing he noticed, and that was where he started heading. But as he neared it, he saw something that he was not prepared for. Yeah, so Selphie had said she wanted to start a Mesmerize corral, but he didn't think she was serious about it! Here she was with a May Pole in the middle of Trabia Garden's land, leading the junior classmen around on the Mesmerizes like some kind of pony ride!

"Selphie! Just in time!" she called over to him winking.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Watch the language, there are children about!" she scolded. Squall pursed his lips but didn't say anything.

"Does this mean that your mission is over?" he asked, getting slightly annoyed at this point.

"Just about." She answered. "But someone has to stay here and watch over the ranch. Here let me introduce you to my new friends!" she exclaimed grabbing him by the hand. "First we have George!" she pointed to one grumpy looking Mesmerize. "And we have Georgia, Georgina, Georgie Porgie, and last but not least Frank!"

"Frank?"

"I ran out of George names okay?" Squall tried to stifle the laughter but was unsuccessful. Selphie rolled her eyes and went back to hosting the pony rides. "Just get in the Ragnarok, the rides close in thirty minutes." This time it was Squall who rolled his eyes, but he was too tired to argue.

Slowly, he slumped into the Ragnarok, and tried to find a place to lay comfortably. Ultimately, he ended up falling asleep in the copilot seat in the cockpit. A while later, Selphie boarded the ship also and fell asleep in the seat next to him.

Tomorrow they would be free!

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This is it! Last chance to get the fangirls in! The next chapter (should) be the last and the fangirls play a big part! So, if you want to be a part of this, get those reviews coming in! We really want reviews! PLEASE! Our goal is still 80 and we only 49 :::puppy dog eyes::: We know you guys really love us, and if you love us then review away! Ideas are still appreciated! --with out deepest love-The CuteMooglez!