A/N: Disney isn't mine. If it were then I wouldn't be sitting here writing
a fan fic. I'd be taking over the world. (evil laugher)
Chapter 9: Crime and Punishment
(when we last left our heroes, they were sentenced to a beheading by the Queen. Let's join them now in their prison cell...)
Basil: Merlin, can you PLEASE magic us out of here? She's going to chop off our heads!
Alice: I do fear that we won't be very helpful to Mickey without our heads.
Merlin: Well..I don't know. We did break the law and therefore must face the consequences.
Alice: But there is no law to break! That woman is tyrannical! Insane I tell you! Mad! MAD! All she wants to do is behead people and she'll make any excuse to do it!
Basil: (winces)
Merlin: Hmm....you may very well have a point....no.
Goofy: But what about Mickey?!
Merlin: I'm afraid we have to make some sacrifices to get what we want..
(meanwhile in the aforementioned rabbit hole...)
Clarabelle: Ooooooooo...this is something you don't see everyday. (takes pictures of the furniture as she falls)
Iago: (covers the lens with his wing) Hey! Stop wasting film! We're here to cover Mickey's abduction, not take pictures of airborne furniture!
Clarabelle: Iago! Look! You ruined my picture!
Iago: Aye, aye, aye! The things I do for money..
(they finally land)
Clarabelle: (lands with a thud) Oomph!
Iago: (flies gently to the ground) So where to now, Magellan?
Clarabelle: Umm....(sees an opening in the floor) There!
(meanwhile........)
Donald: (sneaks into the prison ward) Ooooo..what do I do? Where are they? (goes through rows and rows of jail cells full or prisoners awaiting decapitation, but alas, no sign of Merlin, Alice, Basil, or Goofy) Merlin! Goofy! Alice! Basil! Hello?
Alice: Donald! We're over here!
Donald: (runs over to her)
Alice: Can you help us?
Donald: (tugs at the bars to no avail) Sorry!
Merlin: I have a solution! (turns Donald into a key, picks up the key, and then unlocks the lock to set them free) Now, let's go!
Alice: Merlin, sir, I'm afraid I still don't quite understand.
Merlin: Understand what?
Alice: Nevermind....
(meanwhile..)
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: Curse those pathetic protagonists! They're ruining everything. They're supposed to be beheaded and leave me alone!
Mickey Mouse: Yeah, well they're good guys and good triumphs over evil!
Mysterious: Aww....how charming and simplistic your ideals are. (smacks Mickey over the head with a frying pan) Why are my enemies far less intelligent than I...?
(in Avalon..)
Oberon: So, has your little tip service worked?
Titania: Unfortunately no. It seems the heroes have found themselves imprisoned. (sigh) I do fear my mission is hopeless.....
Oberon: What did I tell you about meddling?
Titania: Nothing! You just told me not to do it because you're a stubborn old fart!
Oberon: Oh yes I nearly forgot....
(Ok, now that that's over, let's look at what our five favorite people in the world are up to...)
(we see Jump 5, one of the author's favorite performing groups, singing to a billion screaming fans)
(Whoops...wrong five people....)
(we now see Merlin, Donald, Alice, etc. sneaking around the cell block)
Goofy: Gawrsh, I hope we don't get caught...
Basil: Rule number five of being a good detective...always stay one step ahead of the enemy.
(a rather large army of card guards appears in front of them)
Basil: Rule number 6, when in danger, RUN!
(they run away screaming, being pursued by the cards. All of this is being done to the lively melodies of "The March of the Cards".)
(Suddenly, our heroes are cornered!)
Donald: Uh oh! Now what do we do?
(all look at Merlin)
Merlin: Let me think about this...
(just then, Clarabelle and Iago fall from the ceiling and land on the guards, in turn squishing them)
Clarabelle: My, my, my! Who'd have ever thought that trapdoor would lead out here?
Iago: Not Me!
Goofy: (is confused)
(all celebrate)
Basil: Wait! Not you two!
Iago: Who, us?
Donald: No, the other two. Clarabelle: Oh, ok.
Donald: It's called sarcasm! It's not unheard of!
Clarabelle: Well, aren't you just the wittiest waterfowl I ever saw.
Goofy: Hey! Nobody talks to my buddy that way!
Iago: Tough luck fido!
Goofy: And my name's not fido. it's Goofy!
Iago: Ay, ay, ay. I'm surrounded by idiots!
(everyone has a strange sense of déjà vu)
Clarabelle: That's nice Iago dear. Now, to the point! (snaps pictures rapidly)
Goofy: Ah! My eyes! Blinding!
Merlin: Ma'am, I must ask you to stop!
(she continues)
Ma'am! Ma'am? MA'AM!!!!!! Ugh! Higgitus Figgitus!
(her camera turns into a porcupine)
Clarabelle: Yaooooooooow! (drops the porcupine) Don't think you've seen the last of me pal! Come Iago, we're leaving.
Iago: Isn't this why we came to begin with?
Clarabelle: No..yes...shut up! (they leave)
Donald: Merlin, I don't get you!
Alice: Basil, who were those people?
Basil: Reporters for a tabloid. Rotten lot. They gave me beef when I was searching for Oswald.
(awkward silence)
Basil: Anyway, on to Mickey!
Titania: (appears) You won't find him here...
Donald: Whoa, where did you come from..?
Titania: Outer space. Anyway, the evil one has fled.
Goofy: You're an alien?
Titania:....
Alice: Well where's Mickey?
Titania: Beyond the sandy deserts is where you shall find him now...
Alice: Easy, Agrabah!
Titania: Way to go smart one. Maybe you oughta teach dim-wit over here a lesson or two.
(she vanishes)
(meanwhile in the Underworld....)
Hades: (at his evil plotting table) Rats! We're one man down!
Maleficent: No great loss. The judge was merely a first stumbling block. The real enemies come later..
Hades: Yeah, thanks for retellin' me my plan that I came up with!
Maleficent: Believe what you will Hades. We all know I am the one true evil mastermind.
Hades: Not listening.
Maleficent: (ignores him) It seems Mickey's captor is headed toward Agrabah. As are the heroes. I shall alert Jafar. Not to great a task for him I believe....
Hades: Ya, sure. So, what do we do next?
Maleficent: Easy. Go and harass Minnie again. (evil laughter)
Hades: Whoa, getting' kinda scary there, Mal
Maleficent: Don't call me by that wretched nickname!
Hades: K, whatever. Maleficent: To the Fantasmic Kingdom!
Chapter 9: Crime and Punishment
(when we last left our heroes, they were sentenced to a beheading by the Queen. Let's join them now in their prison cell...)
Basil: Merlin, can you PLEASE magic us out of here? She's going to chop off our heads!
Alice: I do fear that we won't be very helpful to Mickey without our heads.
Merlin: Well..I don't know. We did break the law and therefore must face the consequences.
Alice: But there is no law to break! That woman is tyrannical! Insane I tell you! Mad! MAD! All she wants to do is behead people and she'll make any excuse to do it!
Basil: (winces)
Merlin: Hmm....you may very well have a point....no.
Goofy: But what about Mickey?!
Merlin: I'm afraid we have to make some sacrifices to get what we want..
(meanwhile in the aforementioned rabbit hole...)
Clarabelle: Ooooooooo...this is something you don't see everyday. (takes pictures of the furniture as she falls)
Iago: (covers the lens with his wing) Hey! Stop wasting film! We're here to cover Mickey's abduction, not take pictures of airborne furniture!
Clarabelle: Iago! Look! You ruined my picture!
Iago: Aye, aye, aye! The things I do for money..
(they finally land)
Clarabelle: (lands with a thud) Oomph!
Iago: (flies gently to the ground) So where to now, Magellan?
Clarabelle: Umm....(sees an opening in the floor) There!
(meanwhile........)
Donald: (sneaks into the prison ward) Ooooo..what do I do? Where are they? (goes through rows and rows of jail cells full or prisoners awaiting decapitation, but alas, no sign of Merlin, Alice, Basil, or Goofy) Merlin! Goofy! Alice! Basil! Hello?
Alice: Donald! We're over here!
Donald: (runs over to her)
Alice: Can you help us?
Donald: (tugs at the bars to no avail) Sorry!
Merlin: I have a solution! (turns Donald into a key, picks up the key, and then unlocks the lock to set them free) Now, let's go!
Alice: Merlin, sir, I'm afraid I still don't quite understand.
Merlin: Understand what?
Alice: Nevermind....
(meanwhile..)
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: Curse those pathetic protagonists! They're ruining everything. They're supposed to be beheaded and leave me alone!
Mickey Mouse: Yeah, well they're good guys and good triumphs over evil!
Mysterious: Aww....how charming and simplistic your ideals are. (smacks Mickey over the head with a frying pan) Why are my enemies far less intelligent than I...?
(in Avalon..)
Oberon: So, has your little tip service worked?
Titania: Unfortunately no. It seems the heroes have found themselves imprisoned. (sigh) I do fear my mission is hopeless.....
Oberon: What did I tell you about meddling?
Titania: Nothing! You just told me not to do it because you're a stubborn old fart!
Oberon: Oh yes I nearly forgot....
(Ok, now that that's over, let's look at what our five favorite people in the world are up to...)
(we see Jump 5, one of the author's favorite performing groups, singing to a billion screaming fans)
(Whoops...wrong five people....)
(we now see Merlin, Donald, Alice, etc. sneaking around the cell block)
Goofy: Gawrsh, I hope we don't get caught...
Basil: Rule number five of being a good detective...always stay one step ahead of the enemy.
(a rather large army of card guards appears in front of them)
Basil: Rule number 6, when in danger, RUN!
(they run away screaming, being pursued by the cards. All of this is being done to the lively melodies of "The March of the Cards".)
(Suddenly, our heroes are cornered!)
Donald: Uh oh! Now what do we do?
(all look at Merlin)
Merlin: Let me think about this...
(just then, Clarabelle and Iago fall from the ceiling and land on the guards, in turn squishing them)
Clarabelle: My, my, my! Who'd have ever thought that trapdoor would lead out here?
Iago: Not Me!
Goofy: (is confused)
(all celebrate)
Basil: Wait! Not you two!
Iago: Who, us?
Donald: No, the other two. Clarabelle: Oh, ok.
Donald: It's called sarcasm! It's not unheard of!
Clarabelle: Well, aren't you just the wittiest waterfowl I ever saw.
Goofy: Hey! Nobody talks to my buddy that way!
Iago: Tough luck fido!
Goofy: And my name's not fido. it's Goofy!
Iago: Ay, ay, ay. I'm surrounded by idiots!
(everyone has a strange sense of déjà vu)
Clarabelle: That's nice Iago dear. Now, to the point! (snaps pictures rapidly)
Goofy: Ah! My eyes! Blinding!
Merlin: Ma'am, I must ask you to stop!
(she continues)
Ma'am! Ma'am? MA'AM!!!!!! Ugh! Higgitus Figgitus!
(her camera turns into a porcupine)
Clarabelle: Yaooooooooow! (drops the porcupine) Don't think you've seen the last of me pal! Come Iago, we're leaving.
Iago: Isn't this why we came to begin with?
Clarabelle: No..yes...shut up! (they leave)
Donald: Merlin, I don't get you!
Alice: Basil, who were those people?
Basil: Reporters for a tabloid. Rotten lot. They gave me beef when I was searching for Oswald.
(awkward silence)
Basil: Anyway, on to Mickey!
Titania: (appears) You won't find him here...
Donald: Whoa, where did you come from..?
Titania: Outer space. Anyway, the evil one has fled.
Goofy: You're an alien?
Titania:....
Alice: Well where's Mickey?
Titania: Beyond the sandy deserts is where you shall find him now...
Alice: Easy, Agrabah!
Titania: Way to go smart one. Maybe you oughta teach dim-wit over here a lesson or two.
(she vanishes)
(meanwhile in the Underworld....)
Hades: (at his evil plotting table) Rats! We're one man down!
Maleficent: No great loss. The judge was merely a first stumbling block. The real enemies come later..
Hades: Yeah, thanks for retellin' me my plan that I came up with!
Maleficent: Believe what you will Hades. We all know I am the one true evil mastermind.
Hades: Not listening.
Maleficent: (ignores him) It seems Mickey's captor is headed toward Agrabah. As are the heroes. I shall alert Jafar. Not to great a task for him I believe....
Hades: Ya, sure. So, what do we do next?
Maleficent: Easy. Go and harass Minnie again. (evil laughter)
Hades: Whoa, getting' kinda scary there, Mal
Maleficent: Don't call me by that wretched nickname!
Hades: K, whatever. Maleficent: To the Fantasmic Kingdom!