I do not own The Lord of the Ring or its characters.
Page 15
It was the last evening before all would depart the Field of Celebrant. The council had concluded, dinner was over, the singing and celebrations had begun to wane. One by one, men and elves excused themselves and took to their rest.
Haldir stood in uncharacteristic indecision in front of the king's pavilion in Gondor's camp. So deep in conflict within himself was he, that he did not hear Aragorn walk up and pause curiously behind him.
"Who is she?" he asked over Haldir's shoulder.
"What?" Haldir started. "Aragorn, what do you mean?" he asked like a mouse caught in a trap.
"I know the look, my good friend. That tortured, desperate look, that stomach-lurching pain, worse than any wound on the field of battle."
"I am not desperate," Haldir protested.
"No, of course you aren't. Who is the lucky elf?" Aragorn repeated, and waited.
"It is not an elf," Haldir replied finally, staring at an invisible spot on the king's tent.
"A dwarf, then?" Aragorn thought that the look Haldir gave him was priceless.
"A woman."
"I see," Aragorn said, hiding his surprise and concern. Aragorn tried to remember if he had ever seen an elf blush before. "Come inside, Haldir," he said gently. "You should speak to one who has shared your plight."
"I do not wish to impose," Haldir said, if possible, standing straighter even than his already ramrod straight posture.
"A friend's visit is no imposition. Come inside," Aragorn ordered, and gave Haldir a kind shove through the entrance.
* * * * *
Kalin awoke late the next morning in her talan. She and Malach had spent a good part of the night talking alone in the pavilion the elves had set up for him on the ground nearby. She didn't want to lose her friend so soon after finding him again, but she would not leave Lorien. Not, at least, until Haldir returned and she had a chance to find out how he really felt about her. If he would not love her, Kalin didn't know if she could bear to stay, no matter how much she loved it here. Thoughtfully she reached out and took her cane in her hands, caressing its intricately carved surface, touching where he had touched. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel his presence in the room with her.
Putting the cane down, she purposefully rose and dressed. Better to make her decision known to Malach now than later.
She found Malach awake and entered. Sitting down with him and taking his hands in hers, she looked at this man who had been her best friend most of her life.
"Malach, dear friend, I have decided to stay."
"But why, Kalin?" he asked, his face falling. "Don't you miss the ocean; the barking of the sea lions, the call of the gulls, the sunset on the water? Every morning I awake here yearning for the booming of the surf like a low heartbeat, but there is only emptiness in the air. Do you not feel this as well, that a part of you is missing?"
"I did, until I came here to Lothlorien. But there is something else here, Malach, that fills my heart, both the land and the people."
"What of our people? Do not you want to see your father? Remember, Kalin, when the whole village sat together on the dunes at the Summer Festival, watching the fireworks reflect in the sea; the bonfires on the beach; the children playing in the surf? We can do that again, Kalin, if you will only come home. How many children do you see here?"
"I..have seen no children," replied Kalin, wondering why she had not noticed it before.
"That is because there are none. The time of the elves is over, Kalin, this is our world now. They are leaving."
"Not all of them are leaving, not in our lifetime, Malach. Haldir told me that he and others will stay to care for Lorien."
"This Haldir, Kalin, this is the same elf, this future Lord of Lothlorien, that meets with King Elessar?"
"Did you see him then, and is he well? But, what do you mean, future lord? You must be mistaken. Celeborn is lord here, and Haldir is faithful to him beyond measure."
"I heard talk of it among the elves at the council. Celeborn has decreed that Haldir will be Lord of Lothlorien when he himself departs. How well do you know this Haldir, Kalin?" Malach asked, seeing her reaction to this news.
"Malach, Haldir is the main reason I am staying. I am in love with him."
"You are in love with an elf?" Malach spat out in disbelief.
"Are you not happy for me, that I am in love?"
"First Tirendil the elf spy, and now Haldir the elf lord?"
"Malach, you know I didn't love Tirendil romantically, I loved his as a dear friend, as I do you! Why are you so angry?"
"I am not angry. I am only concerned for you. Kalin, this is folly! No elf, especially one of such standing, is going to give up immorality for a mere woman. You must not deceive yourself!"
"What are you talking about?" Kalin asked in panic. "Why would Haldir have to forego his immortality in order to love me? I don't understand."
"At the council the men of Rohan were talking about Queen Evenstar, and the great romance between her and King Elessar. They said that in order to marry him, she had to renounce her people and commit to a mortal life. She will die, just like men, when her time comes I am sorry."
Kalin looked at Malach in horror. What was it Haldir had said to her: "You do not know what you ask of me."?
"Malach, I have to go talk to someone. Please don't follow me; I will return." Kalin stumbled out of the pavilion and somehow made it to the brothers' talan, and found Orophin there, inserting feathers into the shafts of his new arrows.
"Kalin, what is wrong?" Orophin cried as he saw her stricken look, and helped her to a seat.
"Orophin, I must ask you something. Malach says, if an elf and a woman love each other, the elf must give up eternal life. Please tell me it isn't true."
So, it has finally come to this, Orophin thought to himself. Why was it he who would now have to hurt her? "Kalin, this is indeed the way of things, though we do not know why. We each hope to find our soul mate, another with whom we are destined to be with. An elf binds himself to another only once, for eternity. Only three times has such a thing occurred between elves and men, and it has been only female elves to have done this. Never in all the ages of the world has a male elf ever bound himself to a woman, and accepted the gift of death that is man's to do so."
"Why..didn't you tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me?" she cried out, feeling her world crumbling around her.
"It is not for me or the others to determine my brother's destiny, Kalin, or to guess the will of the Valar. I know he cares for you; perhaps this is meant to be."
Kalin sprang up from her chair in distress. "But how you and Rumil must hate me, Orophin! I could be the cause of Haldir's death; you would have to live forever without him!"
"We do not hate you, Kalin! We have seen that you love our brother deeply, and we want Haldir to be happy. If this is his destiny, if you are indeed soul mates, it will be both a wondrous and a sorrowful thing for us all. If I may ask, has he told you he loves you?"
"No, Orophin, he has not. He has said only that he wants to talk to me."
"Then you must wait for him. It is only a matter of a few days until he returns."
Kalin stepped slowly over to Haldir's side of the talan where his possessions were arranged in neat rows, and his bed made with crisp military precision. She picked up one of his tunics, neatly folded on a dresser, held it to her face and breathed in the faint scent of him in the clean garment. Orophin had followed her, and reached out to lay a comforting hand on her shaking shoulders.
"I...I don't know if Haldir loves me or not, but I cannot risk this! I cannot do this to him!" Kalin said brokenly as she backed away from him. "I am so sorry!" she cried as she dropped the tunic in despair, turned from him, and ran.
Page 15
It was the last evening before all would depart the Field of Celebrant. The council had concluded, dinner was over, the singing and celebrations had begun to wane. One by one, men and elves excused themselves and took to their rest.
Haldir stood in uncharacteristic indecision in front of the king's pavilion in Gondor's camp. So deep in conflict within himself was he, that he did not hear Aragorn walk up and pause curiously behind him.
"Who is she?" he asked over Haldir's shoulder.
"What?" Haldir started. "Aragorn, what do you mean?" he asked like a mouse caught in a trap.
"I know the look, my good friend. That tortured, desperate look, that stomach-lurching pain, worse than any wound on the field of battle."
"I am not desperate," Haldir protested.
"No, of course you aren't. Who is the lucky elf?" Aragorn repeated, and waited.
"It is not an elf," Haldir replied finally, staring at an invisible spot on the king's tent.
"A dwarf, then?" Aragorn thought that the look Haldir gave him was priceless.
"A woman."
"I see," Aragorn said, hiding his surprise and concern. Aragorn tried to remember if he had ever seen an elf blush before. "Come inside, Haldir," he said gently. "You should speak to one who has shared your plight."
"I do not wish to impose," Haldir said, if possible, standing straighter even than his already ramrod straight posture.
"A friend's visit is no imposition. Come inside," Aragorn ordered, and gave Haldir a kind shove through the entrance.
* * * * *
Kalin awoke late the next morning in her talan. She and Malach had spent a good part of the night talking alone in the pavilion the elves had set up for him on the ground nearby. She didn't want to lose her friend so soon after finding him again, but she would not leave Lorien. Not, at least, until Haldir returned and she had a chance to find out how he really felt about her. If he would not love her, Kalin didn't know if she could bear to stay, no matter how much she loved it here. Thoughtfully she reached out and took her cane in her hands, caressing its intricately carved surface, touching where he had touched. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel his presence in the room with her.
Putting the cane down, she purposefully rose and dressed. Better to make her decision known to Malach now than later.
She found Malach awake and entered. Sitting down with him and taking his hands in hers, she looked at this man who had been her best friend most of her life.
"Malach, dear friend, I have decided to stay."
"But why, Kalin?" he asked, his face falling. "Don't you miss the ocean; the barking of the sea lions, the call of the gulls, the sunset on the water? Every morning I awake here yearning for the booming of the surf like a low heartbeat, but there is only emptiness in the air. Do you not feel this as well, that a part of you is missing?"
"I did, until I came here to Lothlorien. But there is something else here, Malach, that fills my heart, both the land and the people."
"What of our people? Do not you want to see your father? Remember, Kalin, when the whole village sat together on the dunes at the Summer Festival, watching the fireworks reflect in the sea; the bonfires on the beach; the children playing in the surf? We can do that again, Kalin, if you will only come home. How many children do you see here?"
"I..have seen no children," replied Kalin, wondering why she had not noticed it before.
"That is because there are none. The time of the elves is over, Kalin, this is our world now. They are leaving."
"Not all of them are leaving, not in our lifetime, Malach. Haldir told me that he and others will stay to care for Lorien."
"This Haldir, Kalin, this is the same elf, this future Lord of Lothlorien, that meets with King Elessar?"
"Did you see him then, and is he well? But, what do you mean, future lord? You must be mistaken. Celeborn is lord here, and Haldir is faithful to him beyond measure."
"I heard talk of it among the elves at the council. Celeborn has decreed that Haldir will be Lord of Lothlorien when he himself departs. How well do you know this Haldir, Kalin?" Malach asked, seeing her reaction to this news.
"Malach, Haldir is the main reason I am staying. I am in love with him."
"You are in love with an elf?" Malach spat out in disbelief.
"Are you not happy for me, that I am in love?"
"First Tirendil the elf spy, and now Haldir the elf lord?"
"Malach, you know I didn't love Tirendil romantically, I loved his as a dear friend, as I do you! Why are you so angry?"
"I am not angry. I am only concerned for you. Kalin, this is folly! No elf, especially one of such standing, is going to give up immorality for a mere woman. You must not deceive yourself!"
"What are you talking about?" Kalin asked in panic. "Why would Haldir have to forego his immortality in order to love me? I don't understand."
"At the council the men of Rohan were talking about Queen Evenstar, and the great romance between her and King Elessar. They said that in order to marry him, she had to renounce her people and commit to a mortal life. She will die, just like men, when her time comes I am sorry."
Kalin looked at Malach in horror. What was it Haldir had said to her: "You do not know what you ask of me."?
"Malach, I have to go talk to someone. Please don't follow me; I will return." Kalin stumbled out of the pavilion and somehow made it to the brothers' talan, and found Orophin there, inserting feathers into the shafts of his new arrows.
"Kalin, what is wrong?" Orophin cried as he saw her stricken look, and helped her to a seat.
"Orophin, I must ask you something. Malach says, if an elf and a woman love each other, the elf must give up eternal life. Please tell me it isn't true."
So, it has finally come to this, Orophin thought to himself. Why was it he who would now have to hurt her? "Kalin, this is indeed the way of things, though we do not know why. We each hope to find our soul mate, another with whom we are destined to be with. An elf binds himself to another only once, for eternity. Only three times has such a thing occurred between elves and men, and it has been only female elves to have done this. Never in all the ages of the world has a male elf ever bound himself to a woman, and accepted the gift of death that is man's to do so."
"Why..didn't you tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me?" she cried out, feeling her world crumbling around her.
"It is not for me or the others to determine my brother's destiny, Kalin, or to guess the will of the Valar. I know he cares for you; perhaps this is meant to be."
Kalin sprang up from her chair in distress. "But how you and Rumil must hate me, Orophin! I could be the cause of Haldir's death; you would have to live forever without him!"
"We do not hate you, Kalin! We have seen that you love our brother deeply, and we want Haldir to be happy. If this is his destiny, if you are indeed soul mates, it will be both a wondrous and a sorrowful thing for us all. If I may ask, has he told you he loves you?"
"No, Orophin, he has not. He has said only that he wants to talk to me."
"Then you must wait for him. It is only a matter of a few days until he returns."
Kalin stepped slowly over to Haldir's side of the talan where his possessions were arranged in neat rows, and his bed made with crisp military precision. She picked up one of his tunics, neatly folded on a dresser, held it to her face and breathed in the faint scent of him in the clean garment. Orophin had followed her, and reached out to lay a comforting hand on her shaking shoulders.
"I...I don't know if Haldir loves me or not, but I cannot risk this! I cannot do this to him!" Kalin said brokenly as she backed away from him. "I am so sorry!" she cried as she dropped the tunic in despair, turned from him, and ran.