Merry's Birthday
by Mako_Shadows
Disclaimer- We don't own Pokémon, Gundam Wing, Pinky and the Brain or spandex. We do however own magic hold-all bags.
Chapter Four: Retreat to Lothlorien!?
~*~*~*~
Two figures covered in apple bits and bruises were standing on the top of a hill, where they could see for miles in any direction. They thought that this was the best course of action after being bombarded by apple catapults just outside of Rivendell. It was very lucky that Aragorn had come along just in time to save them. Of course they had no idea why he snickered as they thanked him most profusely. Ah, to be a stereotypical blond.
"Retreat to Lothlorien. What were you thinking Lego? Lothlorien? I mean that means we have to go through Moria." Pip complained.
"No we don't," Lego started, "There are other ways to get to Lothlorien."
"Do you know any of them?" Pip asked pointedly. Lego shook his head sheepishly. "I thought not. Through the Mines we go. By the Leggy have you still got the Light of Herbal Essence?" Lego nodded.
"Umm... Lego what's that?" Pip asked pointing to something in the distance. His voice shook a little.
"Nothing. It's just a moving bush." Lego said.
"Do you think it's related to Treebeard?" Pippin asked.
"Probably Pippin. Why else would it be moving if it wasn't related to an Ent. Its probably a baby Ent." Lego said all wise sounding.
"Lego, you're so smart." Pip said, not afraid of the moving bush anymore.
A close up view of the 'baby Ent'. The baby Ent was in fact none other than everyone's favourite Ranger Aragorn! He was hiding in a fake bush and slowly trying to sneak up on our heroes. Our heroes were now resting and eating. I mean one had to build one's strength up before entering the mines after all.
~*~*~*~
A long time later Lego and Pip reached the Westgate, they had forgotten that it was all blocked and stuff. They stood there pondering their situation.
"Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pip?" Lego asked.
"I think so... But what do Bananas in Pyjama's have to do with Yu-Gi-Oh!?" Pip replied.
Aragorn, now disguised in his Onix the Pokémon halloween costume, let out a long-suffering sigh. Pippin heard this and immediately stiffened.
"Lego did you hear that?" He hissed.
"Yeah. I think it was a Ringwraith." Lego said. "Pip, desperate measures call for desperate times."
"Err... Lego isn't it the other way around?" Pip asked.
"Oh right. How's this. Semit etarepsed rof llac serusaem etarepsed, piP." Lego replied.
"Oh... I get it now." Pip shouted.
Lego grabbed Pip by the feet and swung his head towards the rocks that were in the way. They immediately shattered and Lego put Pip down. Pippin was of course unhurt. Aragorn however was, he had hid in the pile of rock so when Lego swung Pip like a golf club, Aragorn was sent blasting off.
"Looks like Aragorn's blasting off again." He shouted becoming one with a star in the distance.
"Did you hear something, Pip?" Lego asked.
"Naw... But as the old saying goes, what goes up, must come down." Pip said.
"What do suppose that means?" Lego asked.
"Oh, it's quite simple, Legolas Greenleaf. There's a falling Onix." Pip said as Aragorn came crashing back down covered in soot.
"Oh, that's nice ashes on my Onix." The Watcher in the Water said as he threw a pokéball at Aragorn.
Lego and Pip just shrugged and continued on their way.
~*~*~*~
In the bowels of Moria, life went on. The Orcs had set up a tourist information, which Lego and Pip were currently visiting.
"If your looking for accommodation, we've got some nice, cozy elvish sized spits, always proud to cook the fair folk. Mr...?"
"Spandex. My name is Spandex." Lego said. Thinking it would be good to use a false name. Just then Heero popped in. "Hey! Copyright infringement!" He shouted. Obviously he had been hanging out with Duo too much lately.
Needless to say all involved were disturbed, but thankfully not cooked... yet.
~*~*~*~
After Pippin and Lego escaped from being the main course, they ran into a cat. This cat was named Pikachu* and he was selling magic hold-all bags. Which his owner had invented and at some point in time he had stolen the lot of them and set off to sell them in various fandoms.
"Oh, Lego let's get a magic hold-all bag!" Pippin shouted excitedly. So Lego bought two magic hold-all, one for him and Pippin, and one just in case. Little did they know that Aragorn had also bought a magic hold-all bag in which to put an unlimited supply of.... you guessed it.... APPLES! Pikachu thinking that three bags sold in this fandom was enough for now and popped away to a different fandom.
~*~*~*~
Pippin and Lego had now worked their way to where the stairs of Kazad-dûm used to be.
"How are we supposed to get to the other side Lego?" Pip asked.
"Oh that's easy." Lego said and then attached some thread to one of his arrows and shot it across the chasm. It hit something and stuck.
"Nuh-uh." Pippin protested. "I am not walking across a thread. I can't even see it."
Just then Aragorn, who had apparently escaped the Watcher in the Water, came crashing up behind them. He was now disguised as a Balrog. It wasn't really a great disguise but it fooled our fools... I mean heroes. The took off, like a shot out of Mordor, across the thread and out of Moria.
~*~*~*~
Outside of Moria Pip and Lego rested up and relaxed and of course ate. Now though they weren't resting for a dreaded trip through Moria, instead they were resting for a visit to everyone's favourite psycho elf Galadriel. Though to tell the truth they were more excited about visiting Haldir again. Think of all the pranks they could play. It was too bad Merry wasn't there, Pip thought.
"Oh wait if Merry were here we couldn't get his present." He said out loud. Lego raised an eyebrow and then went back to playing 'What animals do the clouds look like.'
"Look Pip a bunny!" Lego said.
"A bunny! Where?" Pip shouted grabbing his fork and knife.
~*~*~*~
*To find out more about Pikachu the cat, who is really my cat, and his magic hold-all bag business, please read Cloud's Revenge. In which Legolas appears as a guest star... er... sort of. Also coming soon Pikachu (The cat) and the Magic hold-all bag. Which will explain more about this character and how he came to be selling magic hold-all bags in various fandoms.
AN- This is what happens when you give me orange juice. I don't get hyper on sugar or caffeine, but one little glass of orange juice and I am off the wall. For your enjoyment we have created a Pippin and Legolas version of Pinky and the Brain.
Pippin and the Legolas theme song
There Pippin and the Legolas,
Yes Pippin and the Legolas.
One is a pansy,
The others insane.
They've got a magic hold-all device
There clothes cut and diced.
They're Pippin,
They're Pippin, and the Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- o-las.
Before Merry's Birthday is done,
They're gift will be unfurled.
By the dawning of the sun,
Merry'll have his world.
There Pippin and the Legolas,
Yes Pippin and the Legolas.
There Middle-earth campaign,
Isn't easy to explain.
To prove there Hobbity worth,
They'll put Merry in charge of Middle-earth.
They're Pippin,
They're Pippin, and the Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- Leg- o-las.
Do doot do do do
Fool of a Took!