Because I'm A Girl

By Tina N. Blair

Disclaimer- this is the standard disclaimer right here and now.  I do not own Sailor Moon, and I have no part in it whatsoever.  So don't sue me since I'm broke and even if you win, you won't get much so you're wasting your time.  The song "Haunted" is by Evanescence.

Summary- She was thrown into her destiny, unknown of the repercussions and the life-changing events that would come.  Her childhood friend now hated who she was while her new friends didn't understand the depths of her pain.  Battered and bruised, she longs to find herself and to be released from her responsibilities.

Chapter Five- Accidental

            They stood there, looking at one another as if in a trance that had only focused on them.  She refused to acknowledge it.  She refused to accept the fact that he had too seen what she had seen.  No freaking way.

            She quickly backed away from him as if his touch had burned her.  If only she had looked up to see his painful reaction to her.  Her two blue orbs darted around, looking at anything that was not him.

- No lost words, whisper slowly, to me
still can't find what keeps me here -

            Confusion did not begin to describe his current predicament.  This girl always managed to make him lose his mind, or close to it.  One minute she was fine with him, the next she's jumping away from him as if he was the devil incarnate.

            He slowly reached for her, only to have her all but slap his hand away.  He recoiled almost but he kept reaching for her.  He was so close to reaching her, before.  Had she seen the vision too?  Or was that just his wishful thinking?  The uncanny resemblance between his dream princess and her was too much for him.  He felt as if he was being pulled in two different directions.  To say that he didn't like it would have been an outrageous lie.

He was slowly being driven out of his mind.  He knew that now.  Serena was sent to earth for only one thing:  to make him lose control.  No matter how much he tried to resist, he failed terribly.  He was attracted to her like a moth to a flame.  She was the possibility of love and he was the darkness that every being tried to avoid. 

            Except Serena Tsukino.

- And all this time I've been so hollow, inside -

            Although at the current moment, she was doing everything in her power to avoid him.  Something in him snapped.  He instantly grabbed her hand and spun her around to face him.  She let out a startled gasp and instinctively put her fragile hands on his chest, pushing away from him as if he was going to hurt her.

- (I know your still there) -

            Something had snapped in him, he knew that for sure.  It could have been his self-control because at that moment, he made a decision based on pure instinct.  Want.  Take.  Have.

            He cupped her face and moved closer.  Her eyes widened as realization kicked in; she knew what he was about to do.  He knew what he wanted.

- Watching me,
wanting me

I can feel you haunt me down. -

            His other hand was around her slim waist and pulled her forward.  He could feel her body tense up and immediately ran his hand up and down her back.  With precise movements, he kissed her. He took.

With all the passion he had, all the pent-up emotions he had struggled to keep in check, he kissed her.  He stopped massaging her back and released her with the hand that held her waist.  He took both her arms and with his own, ran them up and down.  He slowly moved them toward the wall and pinned her.  Trapping what was his.  He had.

            He knew that he surprised her.  But another surprise was in store when he felt her slowly give into him and kiss him back.  At first, soft and hesitant.  But as time passed, she was bolder and kissed him with all her might.

- Fearing you,
loving you,
I know I'll find you somehow -

            He broke the kiss and trailed kisses along her neck.  In response, she laid her head on his shoulder and moved her arms up and down his back and continued to press into him.

            He was giving up his control.  For her.

            He lifted her up and she quickly wrapped her legs around him.  Rejoicing in his presence.

- Haunting you, I can smell you
your heart pounding in my head -

            He wrapped his arms around her, refusing to let her go.  She was his, all his and there was not one soul on earth that was going to take her away from him.  He resumed the kiss and she returned it with equal passion.  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed into his being.  He slipped his tongue into her mouth and was pleased to find out that she smiled into the kiss when he had done so.

            Insistent beeping noises penetrated his senses and felt her tense up beside him.  Still, he did not stop or did not shows any signs or stopping.  Until she slowly pushed him away.

            It took them a few seconds to regain their regular breathing pace.  Those few seconds told him that she enjoyed their kiss.

            She looked into his eyes and his breath caught.  Raw desire shone through her eyes that he almost grabbed her again.  But she stepped away and spoke before he had a chance.

- Wanting me,
fearing me,
I won't let you haunt me down -

            "I have to go."

            The phrase cut through him like sharp knives thrown at him. 

            "Why?" he had choked out.

- Deceiving me,
bringing me,
watching me -

            "I can't tell," but she wanted to.  For the first time since she found out her destiny, she wanted to tell someone.  She wanted to tell him but knew that if she did, the dangers would be too much.  If she told him, the Negaverse could use him against her.  Just like Nephlite and Molly.

- Watching me,
haunting me,
I can feel you haunt me down -

"I want you to stay."  He whispered almost brokenly.

            The silence scared him.  It was too much.  She wasn't saying anything.

            But she *did* something.  She kissed him again, one final time.

            Bidding him goodbye.

- Fearing you,
loving you,
I won't let you haunt me down -

            And then she ran out the door.  Leaving him alone.  In his cold home.

            He stared at the ground, unable to comprehend what had just surpassed.  Why did she leave?  Did he frighten her?  Did he hurt her?  Why?  He sought to answer his own questions but once again, he failed miserably.

- Watching me,
wanting me,
I can feel you haunt me down -

            She ran down the stairs and ran to the park where Sailor Mercury had called her.  She murmured three words and in a minute, she was Sailor Moon.  She was the champion of justice.  Destined to be alone.

            She wanted to tell him so bad.  She didn't know why but she felt as if he would understand.  That he would make the pain go away.  He would love her even though she did not deserve his love.

            But as sudden as the revelations came, the faster fear chilled her very soul.  He could not know.  Knowing meant that he would constantly look over his shoulder, trying to see if his surroundings were peaceful or hostile.  The weight of the world would be on his shoulders.  And she knew that she could not condemn him to such a curse.  No matter what, she had to protect him.  From the evils of the Negaverse.  From the cruelty of the world.

            But most important, she had to protect him from herself.

- Fearing you,
loving you,
I won't let you haunt me down -