Disclaimer: I do not own Third Watch or any of the characters.
Bobby set the knife down in front of him, after having spent 10 minutes getting it to what he thought was the perfect sharpness. He ran his hands over his wrist trying to figure out exactly where the artery was. His only concern, aside from not hitting the artery, was that he would be found in time to be saved. They wouldn't understand that it's better this way because I won't be here to screw up more peoples' lives when I decide to try to help. After getting up to make sure the door was locked, he picked up the knife and tested the sharpness once again, on his thumb. Satisfied that it would do the job he meant it to, he turned his attention to his wrist. As he pressed the knife down on his wrist, he took one last look at his apartment. When he saw the blood flowing from his wrist, he halted the knife and watched it for a minute before pressing on his wrist even harder with the blade. The short scream from the doorway caused him to jerk the now bloodstained knife away from his wrist. Kim was standing in the doorway her eyes wide in her white face.
"Oh my god! Bobby! What are you doing?"
He watched her, feeling numb as she came over to the couch and pulled the knife out of his hand before applying pressure to cut he had opened on his wrist. Immediately, he jerked his wrist back out of her hold, refusing to let her stop the bleeding.
"Bobby! Let me look, let me fix it OK? Don't do this, it doesn't have to be this way, there's another way, there has to be, just let me see OK?
"No, just leave me alone" he said quietly "It's better this way. Give me back the knife Kim."
"No! I'm not going to do that, you're going to let me take care of your wrist and then we can figure out what we're going to do later OK? Come on Bobby, don't do this, don't make me put you in the hospital, I don't want you in there anymore than you want to be there. It's not better this way, let me help you, we can sort this out, please Bobby don't do this, I need you," her voice wavered at the end and tears started to spill down her cheeks "For me?"
He started at her in shock, and then pulled his hand away from his wrist without saying anything. She grabbed a towel from the kitchen and wrapped it around his wrist, wiping at the tears that were making their way down her face. He wanted suddenly, desperately to comfort her in some way, to let her know that it would be OK, that he wouldn't do it again. She reached out and placed his hand on top of the towel.
"Hold that there and keep pressure on it." She commanded disappearing back into the kitchen. He obeyed, watching as she came back into the room with a first aid kit in her hand. After laying out the bandage on the table she removed the bloody and washed the cut out before wrapping the bandage around his wrist.
Kim picked up the bloody knife off the table where she had put it down and dropped it in the garbage with shaking hands. It was about one in the morning, Bobby had gone to bed but she couldn't sleep. Oh god Bobby why'd you do that, what happened to you, to make you want to do that why Bobby why, she thought desperately trying to block out the images of him pressing the knife down on his wrist. I can't go to sleep; I'm not going to let him do that again ever. The tears that she had forced back earlier came pouring out, zigzagging off the end of her chin. Just then Bobby's phone started ringing causing her to jump.
"Hello" Alex's voice came over the phone.
"Hi" Kim said quietly as she fought to control her voice why would Alex be calling now, did something happen?
"Kim?" Alex sounded startled "What are you doing over there, your Mom's worried sick, is something wrong? She said you went out and never came back."
"I forgot the time," her voice sounded shaky to her ears. Damn it Kim get a grip she thought angrily.
"Kim? What's wrong did something happen?" Alex asked immediately.
Unable to hold herself together any longer Kim burst into tears again.
"Bobby, he tried, he was going to, oh god." She collapsed against the wall, her body shaking with sobs as the fact that her best friend had to tried to kill himself really hit her, the thought of him not being there anymore becoming too much to bear. Her breaths were coming in gasping sobs, as her throat constricted and she fought to breathe normally.
"Kim?" Alex asked sounding alarmed "What happened? What about Bobby? Hang on OK? I'm going to come over there, is the door open?"
Alex ran up the stairs to Bobby's apartment; please let her have opened the door, what's going on, why is she so upset? Worried thoughts dashed across her mind what's she doing at Bobby's anyways, why is she awake, why didn't she call? When she reached the apartment, she grabbed the doorknob and turned it, relieved when it opened.
"Kim? Where are you? She called "Kim?" Did something happen to her is she okay? Then she heard the crying and she hurried into the kitchen. Kim was leaning against the wall, her whole body shaking, as she cried.
"Alex? He was going to. Bobby was going to." she broke off abruptly "I can't breathe Alex I can't, it hurts."
"Whoa, whoa, wait minute, calm down Kim, yes you can," She said running over and wrapped her arm around Kim's shoulders. "Take deep breaths, in and out, it's ok, Bobby's fine, nothing is going to happen to him." What the hell happened? What was Bobby going to do that's got her so worked up? She steered Kim over to the couch.
"Sit down, just relax OK? It's okay. She said hoping to get her to calm down. Kim just looked at her, tears raining down her deathly pale face.
"He was going to. oh god Alex, I came in and he was. he had a knife to his wrist." Her breathing was coming in short gasps.
Alex stared at her in horror, before wrapping her arms around her, what's she saying, Bobby, Bobby Caffey was going to kill himself? That can't be right.
"He was going to. what did I do, why would he want to do that?" Kim was still shaking.
"OK, Kim, it's OK, just calm down."
"He had a k-knife, he was cutting his w-wrist A-Alex" Kim was crying so hard she could barely talk.
"Sssh, sssh, it's OK, how about you just relax and try to get some rest." Alex suggested.
"I ca-can't, wh-what if he wakes u-up and tries again."
Alex sighed, "Look Kim, I'll make sure he doesn't OK? You need to calm down and get some rest. What is she talking about; Bobby's not the kind of person who would do that.
"Promise?" Kim's voice was quavering.
"Yes, Kim I promise, now go to sleep." Alex said helping her lay down. She was relieved when Kim drifted off to sleep a few minutes later. She leaned over, grabbed a blanket off the chair and gently laid it over her friend. Now lets go see what she was talking about, see if I can make some sense of it. She walked into Bobby's room, quietly and flicked on the light on the bedside table, hoping not to wake him. She drew in a sharp breath when she saw his bandaged wrist. Oh god Bobby.
"Alex?" Bobby's half-asleep sounding voice pulled her out of her thoughts "What are you doing here?"
"You tried to kill yourself, or you were going to," she replied flatly pointing to his wrist.
"How do you know about that?" Bobby reached out and attempted to cover the bandage.
"How do I know, gee I wonder Bobby? Could it possibly be, because Kim didn't come home and then I call here and she starts crying so hard she hardly talk. I thought she was talking pure nonsense until I saw it. Bobby, I don't care how upset you are about what's happened, that's not the way to deal with it. Get help, talk to somebody, for Kim's sake, if you don't care about you anymore."
"Kim's?" he stared blankly at her.
"Yes, Kim's, I never want to see her that upset again, she couldn't breathe because she was crying so hard. When she wakes up again, you're going to promise her you're never going to do that again and you're going to keep it because I've never seen her hysterical before and I don't want to see that again, ever."
"She was hysterical?" Bobby looked alarmed "God I keep screwing up."
"Actually Bobby this is only your third screw-up as you called it, Paulie's death wasn't your fault, neither was Kim getting hurt, you couldn't control it then and you can't now. Locking yourself in your apartment, not visiting Kim and trying to kill yourself, those are your mistakes and you can still fix them because none of it's permanent yet."
"But I don't know how to fix any of this."
"Start by asking Kim out," at his blank look she continued "Only reason she would get that upset is because she loves you. See from there, I think the rest will fix itself, once you do that. Now go back to bed because I'm tired, you're not going to try anything stupid right?"
"No Alex I'm not, you can go to bed" he yawned "Sorry about this."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for, everyone screws up, you just tend to do it on a bigger scale. Goodnight Bobby." She got up and left the room.
"Night Alex, thanks"
"Next time not at 2 in the morning please."
Bobby set the knife down in front of him, after having spent 10 minutes getting it to what he thought was the perfect sharpness. He ran his hands over his wrist trying to figure out exactly where the artery was. His only concern, aside from not hitting the artery, was that he would be found in time to be saved. They wouldn't understand that it's better this way because I won't be here to screw up more peoples' lives when I decide to try to help. After getting up to make sure the door was locked, he picked up the knife and tested the sharpness once again, on his thumb. Satisfied that it would do the job he meant it to, he turned his attention to his wrist. As he pressed the knife down on his wrist, he took one last look at his apartment. When he saw the blood flowing from his wrist, he halted the knife and watched it for a minute before pressing on his wrist even harder with the blade. The short scream from the doorway caused him to jerk the now bloodstained knife away from his wrist. Kim was standing in the doorway her eyes wide in her white face.
"Oh my god! Bobby! What are you doing?"
He watched her, feeling numb as she came over to the couch and pulled the knife out of his hand before applying pressure to cut he had opened on his wrist. Immediately, he jerked his wrist back out of her hold, refusing to let her stop the bleeding.
"Bobby! Let me look, let me fix it OK? Don't do this, it doesn't have to be this way, there's another way, there has to be, just let me see OK?
"No, just leave me alone" he said quietly "It's better this way. Give me back the knife Kim."
"No! I'm not going to do that, you're going to let me take care of your wrist and then we can figure out what we're going to do later OK? Come on Bobby, don't do this, don't make me put you in the hospital, I don't want you in there anymore than you want to be there. It's not better this way, let me help you, we can sort this out, please Bobby don't do this, I need you," her voice wavered at the end and tears started to spill down her cheeks "For me?"
He started at her in shock, and then pulled his hand away from his wrist without saying anything. She grabbed a towel from the kitchen and wrapped it around his wrist, wiping at the tears that were making their way down her face. He wanted suddenly, desperately to comfort her in some way, to let her know that it would be OK, that he wouldn't do it again. She reached out and placed his hand on top of the towel.
"Hold that there and keep pressure on it." She commanded disappearing back into the kitchen. He obeyed, watching as she came back into the room with a first aid kit in her hand. After laying out the bandage on the table she removed the bloody and washed the cut out before wrapping the bandage around his wrist.
Kim picked up the bloody knife off the table where she had put it down and dropped it in the garbage with shaking hands. It was about one in the morning, Bobby had gone to bed but she couldn't sleep. Oh god Bobby why'd you do that, what happened to you, to make you want to do that why Bobby why, she thought desperately trying to block out the images of him pressing the knife down on his wrist. I can't go to sleep; I'm not going to let him do that again ever. The tears that she had forced back earlier came pouring out, zigzagging off the end of her chin. Just then Bobby's phone started ringing causing her to jump.
"Hello" Alex's voice came over the phone.
"Hi" Kim said quietly as she fought to control her voice why would Alex be calling now, did something happen?
"Kim?" Alex sounded startled "What are you doing over there, your Mom's worried sick, is something wrong? She said you went out and never came back."
"I forgot the time," her voice sounded shaky to her ears. Damn it Kim get a grip she thought angrily.
"Kim? What's wrong did something happen?" Alex asked immediately.
Unable to hold herself together any longer Kim burst into tears again.
"Bobby, he tried, he was going to, oh god." She collapsed against the wall, her body shaking with sobs as the fact that her best friend had to tried to kill himself really hit her, the thought of him not being there anymore becoming too much to bear. Her breaths were coming in gasping sobs, as her throat constricted and she fought to breathe normally.
"Kim?" Alex asked sounding alarmed "What happened? What about Bobby? Hang on OK? I'm going to come over there, is the door open?"
Alex ran up the stairs to Bobby's apartment; please let her have opened the door, what's going on, why is she so upset? Worried thoughts dashed across her mind what's she doing at Bobby's anyways, why is she awake, why didn't she call? When she reached the apartment, she grabbed the doorknob and turned it, relieved when it opened.
"Kim? Where are you? She called "Kim?" Did something happen to her is she okay? Then she heard the crying and she hurried into the kitchen. Kim was leaning against the wall, her whole body shaking, as she cried.
"Alex? He was going to. Bobby was going to." she broke off abruptly "I can't breathe Alex I can't, it hurts."
"Whoa, whoa, wait minute, calm down Kim, yes you can," She said running over and wrapped her arm around Kim's shoulders. "Take deep breaths, in and out, it's ok, Bobby's fine, nothing is going to happen to him." What the hell happened? What was Bobby going to do that's got her so worked up? She steered Kim over to the couch.
"Sit down, just relax OK? It's okay. She said hoping to get her to calm down. Kim just looked at her, tears raining down her deathly pale face.
"He was going to. oh god Alex, I came in and he was. he had a knife to his wrist." Her breathing was coming in short gasps.
Alex stared at her in horror, before wrapping her arms around her, what's she saying, Bobby, Bobby Caffey was going to kill himself? That can't be right.
"He was going to. what did I do, why would he want to do that?" Kim was still shaking.
"OK, Kim, it's OK, just calm down."
"He had a k-knife, he was cutting his w-wrist A-Alex" Kim was crying so hard she could barely talk.
"Sssh, sssh, it's OK, how about you just relax and try to get some rest." Alex suggested.
"I ca-can't, wh-what if he wakes u-up and tries again."
Alex sighed, "Look Kim, I'll make sure he doesn't OK? You need to calm down and get some rest. What is she talking about; Bobby's not the kind of person who would do that.
"Promise?" Kim's voice was quavering.
"Yes, Kim I promise, now go to sleep." Alex said helping her lay down. She was relieved when Kim drifted off to sleep a few minutes later. She leaned over, grabbed a blanket off the chair and gently laid it over her friend. Now lets go see what she was talking about, see if I can make some sense of it. She walked into Bobby's room, quietly and flicked on the light on the bedside table, hoping not to wake him. She drew in a sharp breath when she saw his bandaged wrist. Oh god Bobby.
"Alex?" Bobby's half-asleep sounding voice pulled her out of her thoughts "What are you doing here?"
"You tried to kill yourself, or you were going to," she replied flatly pointing to his wrist.
"How do you know about that?" Bobby reached out and attempted to cover the bandage.
"How do I know, gee I wonder Bobby? Could it possibly be, because Kim didn't come home and then I call here and she starts crying so hard she hardly talk. I thought she was talking pure nonsense until I saw it. Bobby, I don't care how upset you are about what's happened, that's not the way to deal with it. Get help, talk to somebody, for Kim's sake, if you don't care about you anymore."
"Kim's?" he stared blankly at her.
"Yes, Kim's, I never want to see her that upset again, she couldn't breathe because she was crying so hard. When she wakes up again, you're going to promise her you're never going to do that again and you're going to keep it because I've never seen her hysterical before and I don't want to see that again, ever."
"She was hysterical?" Bobby looked alarmed "God I keep screwing up."
"Actually Bobby this is only your third screw-up as you called it, Paulie's death wasn't your fault, neither was Kim getting hurt, you couldn't control it then and you can't now. Locking yourself in your apartment, not visiting Kim and trying to kill yourself, those are your mistakes and you can still fix them because none of it's permanent yet."
"But I don't know how to fix any of this."
"Start by asking Kim out," at his blank look she continued "Only reason she would get that upset is because she loves you. See from there, I think the rest will fix itself, once you do that. Now go back to bed because I'm tired, you're not going to try anything stupid right?"
"No Alex I'm not, you can go to bed" he yawned "Sorry about this."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for, everyone screws up, you just tend to do it on a bigger scale. Goodnight Bobby." She got up and left the room.
"Night Alex, thanks"
"Next time not at 2 in the morning please."