Awkward

by AznSage

'If all else fails, bodily contact.' Gojyo had said. So Goku took his shoes off under the table and rubbed his feet up and down Sanzo's thigh.--excerpt from Awkward [Goku+Sanzo/Sanzo+Goku] *Reuploaded with beta-ed version*

Title: Awkward
Author: AznSage
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Pairings: Goku+Sanzo/Sanzo+Goku
Rating: PG
Archived:
Still Time (gmsaiyuki.topcities.com)
FF.net
Note: Very random. I was sick and home from school and this idea had been bugging me for a while so I just decided to write it up yesterday and edit it this morning.

It had been exactly one week, three days, four hours, seven minutes, and fifty-four seconds since one Sha Gojyo had decided to get revenge on a certain baka saru. Revenge that he couldn't possibly figure out how to execute until now. Oh, yes, he was going to most certainly enjoy torturing the saru. It was too perfect an oppurtunity to pass up.

What, one might say, is bothering Gojyo so much that he would spend time plotting vengeance against Goku? Well, it all happened a couple of weeks back when he and Hakkai had found out that Goku liked Sanzo a lot more than just as a keeper and charge would, and vice versa. But Goku was too afraid to act on it without some encouragement and they'd be damned if Sanzo even admitted it. At least the monkey boy was willing to talk about it.

So after some pushing, shoving, and nagging, Gojyo somehow convinced Goku to do the stupidest thing ever...seduce Sanzo. However, without the steady voice of reason in on his plot, Goku failed miserably.

"Get him at dinner." Gojyo had said. So Goku had sat down next to Sanzo and played coy with him.

"Show him you're interested." Gojyo had said. So Goku had dropped hint after hint that he was.

"If all else fails, bodily contact." Gojyo had said. So Goku took his shoes off under the table and rubbed his feet up and down Sanzo's thigh.

Only...

It wasn't Sanzo's thigh.

"Ano...Gojyo-san...is that *your* foot running up my leg?" Gojyo and Goku both sweatdropped at Hakkai's response and Goku immediately retracted his foot and had the decency to blush. Gojyo just looked at him flabberghasted. But before he could even reply...

"Keep your pants on you perverted kappa. We're in public you know."

Gojyo sputtered again and mentally cursed. After that comment from Sanzo, none of the women he flirted with that night even considered sleeping with him, some even saying that they were afraid his lover might try and kill them for making him share. Yes, no sex for one night makes Gojyo an unhappy half-youkai...And when he came down to the root of it, it was Goku's fault.

So now here was the perfect oppurtunity. They had found an old man who had fainted of dehydration and exhaustion in the middle of the desert as they were making their unending journey westward. No one would suspect Gojyo's plotting since it was Hakkai's idea to stop and help the old man. Oh yes, this would be a very sweet revenge indeed.

"Well, Gojyo-san, you and Goku should figure out a way to settle how you're going to sit. There's not enough room in the back to fit all three of you and ensure that this old man is comfortable."

Gojyo smirked. "Ah, Hakkai, always so thoughtful. Ah, what to do, what to do..I know! One of us would have to sit in the front with you and Sanzo."

"Nani?!" Veins popped up on Sanzo's head as he heard this.

Gojyo ignored Sanzo and continued his explanation. "But then one of us would have to sit on Sanzo's lap. And since I'm pretty sure the great Sanzo houshi-sama doesn't want me to sit on his lap, Goku should be the one to!"

The expression on Goku's face was priceless as Gojyo said this. The 18-year old started muttering incomprehensible complaints while Sanzo started to draw his gun and curse at Gojyo.

But Gojyo was unfazed. He still wore the smirk of triumph on his face. His keen eyes also saw that both of his attackers were wearing similar shades of red on their face.

"Maa, maa. Gojyo is right, it would be better for Goku to sit in the front anyway because he's smaller and would fit better. No need to get worked up now Sanzo." Hakkai calmly walked past the two to the fainted old man. "Besides, you aren't so small-hearted that you wouldn't help the elderly, ne, Sanzo?" His tone was unflinching and the two had a brief staring contest, Sanzo finally losing out to the calm smile on Hakkai's face.

"Fine." He sat back in the jeep and crossed his arms angrily. If they wanted to help the old man, then they could do it themselves.

Gojyo smoothily picked up the old man and placed him in the back seat of the jeep. While placed on the chair of the jeep, there was just enough room for him to sit on without falling over...provided that Hakkai drove responsibly. He perched himself on one of the little box-like protrusions on the right side of the jeep and got comfortable. This was going to be a long ride with a good show.

Hakkai got into the driver's seat and smiled at Goku. "Come on Goku, it'll just be for a little while; we'll reach the next town pretty soon."

With an uneasy expression on his face, the golden-eyed youth inched towards the jeep. "But...Hakkai...Sanzo's gonna kill me!"

Sanzo twitched. "Just get on, baka saru! We're on a schedule here!" To make his point, he pointed his shoureijyuu at Goku, which made Goku move quick as lightning back to the jeep, trying to fit in the cramped space in the front that was between Sanzo and Hakkai.

"Ano...Goku, if you sit there, it'll be really hard for me to drive. Why don't you sit on Sanzo's lap for now, I'm sure he wouldn't mind, right, Sanzo?" He smiled politely at the monk, neither his tone nor expression giving away the fact that Gojyo and him knew.

With a pout from Goku and a scowl from Sanzo, the 18-year old reluctanctly moved to his new seat on Sanzo's lap. It wasn't so bad. It was just like a chair, a scowling one that breathes down his neck and sends tingles down his spine, but still a chair nonetheless. He tried to contain the blush that would inevitably work its way up to his cheeks.

"Now Goku, you better not move in an inappropriate manner or Sanzo-sama there might start blushing." Gojyo ducked and avoided the swing from the saru, knowing full well that Sanzo could not move from his position or Goku would fall out of the jeep.

"Urusai! Ero-kappa!" Goku swung and missed again, his body's movement making it extremely uncomfortable for the man beneath him.

And then he snapped. "Urusai! Baka saru! You're making it really hard for me to sit and think!" The words were accompanied with a hard smack with the harisen that appeared out of nowhere.

"Ch', that's probably 'cause your blood is going somewhere besides your brain, bouzu."

The glare he received from Sanzo was enough to shut him up though. So Gojyo just sat back and enjoyed the show. If his knowledge of geography was correct, the area they were in now would have lots of mountains. Which meant Goku couldn't sit so precariously on Sanzo's lap otherwise he'd hit his head on the windshield every few seconds, fall out, or fall right on Sanzo.

Thunk!

Speak of the devil, they were there already.

"H-Hakkai! You didn't say there were any mountains here!"

"Gomen nasai, Goku. I just forgot." He gave out an apologetic look towards the golden-eyed youkai, but Gojyo caught a faint hint of amusement under it as well. He couldn't help but smile at the fact that Hakkai was as good at faking this whole plot as he was. By the end of today, he would have either gotten his revenge on Goku or gotten the pair together. Either way, he'd be happier. It was a win-win situation. Well, provided that Goku didn't find out.

Thunk, bump. Thunk, bump. Thunk, bump. This went on for about a few more seconds before Sanzo couldn't take it anymore.

"Damnit you dumbass ape! How long can you take doing that? You're gonna break Hakuryuu's windshield with that thick skull of yours! Sit down!" The monk made his point by pulling on Goku's wrist and making him sit on his lap in a more comfortable fashion, one that would also decrease the chances of more noise from contact with the windshield.

"Maa, maa, Sanzo. We didn't know you cared." Sanzo twitched at this.

"I do not, now all of you shut up, I'm going to sleep." He let go of Goku's wrist and crossed his arms again, the scowl set deeply upon his face.

And so there was silence. But then again, with these guys, you can never get that. Which was true because a few minutes later...

"Wah~!" On a particularly bumpy turn on the mountain road, Goku, who was still not QUITE sitting on Sanzo's lap, began to fall out of his seat. At the sound, his three companions were alert and aware, Gojyo summoning his shakujou and using it to pull up Goku. Sanzo and him just HAD to be sitting on the side where they could fall out of the jeep, off the mountain road, and down the cliff...

"K'so! Baka saru! You ate so much at the last village that you're so damned heavy now!" Gojyo strained to pull him up, his footing wasn't the best right now, seeing as how he couldn't step on the old man lying right by him.

"Gojyo, you better not lose your hold or Sanzo's gonna kill you!"

"Damnit Gojyo! Pull him up already or I'm gonna kill you!"

"Sanzo, Goku! Calm down! Just help pull him up!"

After a good few minutes of struggling to pull Goku back up into the jeep without tipping themselves over and without touching the old man, the ikkou were once again on their way west. The four were breathing heavily from their short but dangerous exercise and silence reigned in the jeep.

Hakkai was the first to break the silence. "Goku...perhaps you should sit closer to Sanzo. I don't think it'd be a good idea to have a repeat of what just happened."

"But, Hakkai..."

"No buts, Goku. We wouldn't want you endangering yourself again, now would we, Gojyo-san?"

"Course not! Now just stop being such a prude and hug Sanzo! It's the safest way to sit!"

The two glared at him for lack of any other way to show their annoyance as Goku got comfortable on Sanzo's lap.

"Ah and Goku..."

"Hai, Hakkai?"

"You should probably get into a comfortable position. Shifting your weight while on Sanzo probably isn't the best idea, especially when you're sitting like that..."

"Like what Hakkai?" Goku shifted his attention to the blond. "Ne, Sanzo, is the way I'm sitting bothering you?"

Gojyo snickered. "Like he's gonna say anything about that."

Sanzo just glared back at him, not sparing a word of reply to any one of the comments or questions directed at him.

"Ah...perhaps you three should try to sleep a bit, it is starting to get dark now and I don't know how much longer it will be to the next town."

"Hakkai! You said that we were gonna be at the next town soon!"

"Sumimasen, Goku. I guess I must have miscalculated."

Now if that didn't start ringing alarm bells in his head then he was most definitely the baka saru that they labelled him to be.

"But, Hakkai, you've never miscalculated anything before..."

"Well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose. Just rest, Goku. I'm sure you'll need it later. Ne, Gojyo?"

The half-youkai perked up at the sound of his name and only grunted in response. He was starting to get tired...

"Well, alright...but how am I supposed to sleep?"

"Ano...I suppose Sanzo wouldn't mind you using his chest for a bed tonight...ne, Sanzo?"

The monk only grunted in response, one that could be taken in almost any way. Gojyo noted that his eyes were shrouded by his blond bangs and that, if he wasn't just hallucinating from the fatigue, there was most definitely a hint of red there now.

"Just go to sleep, Goku. I'm sure bouzu there wouldn't mind just for one night."

"Aa...I suppose." Goku twisted a bit from his previous position and tried to lay down on Sanzo's chest. But his crossed arms were in the way and making it excruciatingly painful to sleep. "Ne, Sanzo, could you move your arms a bit, it's a bit lumpy if it's there."

Gojyo snickered softly in the back seat. If the monk moved his arms, that meant that he could either let them hang loose and make it look extremely awkward or he could put his arms around Goku and make it look even more awkward. Absentmindedly, he wondered which the monk would choose.

However, before the blond could even say anything, Hakkai, the ever-helpful person that he is, quipped in. "Sanzo, I think it's best that you wrap your arms around Goku. You know, just in case there are even bumpier roads to go on. Not only will he be more comfortable, but he would be safer that way." Ah, yes, Gojyo thought about giving a medal to Hakkai after this ordeal. Who else could bother to say these things with a straight face AND make it sound like it was necessary for their wellbeing?

Reluctantly, Sanzo began to wrap his arms around Goku. The saru tensed a bit but soon relaxed in the warm embrace. If this was as caring as he could get Sanzo anytime soon, he'd take what he could get.

Whatever occurred afterwards was a blur to Gojyo, seeing as how he had finally fallen asleep against his will in his cramped little space in the back of the jeep.

He was shaken awake by a soft voice the next morning and blinked the sleep out of his eyes, his mind beginning to register what was going on.

"Ohayou, Gojyo. Sanzo and Goku are still sleeping, but we just reached town and I thought I should wake you up first. I don't really want to bother them since they look so cute, so I thought maybe you could watch over Hakuryuu while I go and do some resupplying."

Gojyo nodded at Hakkai's request and waved goodbye to his companion as he set out to buy their daily needs. He stretched out languidly from his position and noted that the old man was already gone, probably because Hakkai took care of him before anything else once they got to town. And so it was just him now watching the jeep with nothing else to do.

He sighed, bored after only a few minutes. Reaching into his pocket for a morning smoke, he found that there were none left and flopped horizontally across the backseat of the jeep. His mischeivious mind raced for something to keep him entertained for the time being but came out with nothing.

Except...

He plucked off a few long strands of hair from his head and became to tickle Goku's nose with it. Within a few moments the youth was awake and started to blink the sleep away from his eyes.

"Wa~h~! Why am I sleeping on Sanzo?" He yelped and jumped back in response, causing him to not only wake up the still resting Sanzo but also bang his head against the windshield. Nursing his head in pain, he whipped around to see a snickering redhead and glared at him. "You! It was your fault wasn't it!"

Gojyo couldn't help but laugh at him. "Don't look now but I think bouzu's pissed."

"Huh?"

"Baka saru! Get off me!" Sanzo glared at Goku and began to smack him with his harisen repeatedly for emphasis.

"Itai! Itai! Okay, okay, I'm getting off!" He began to climb off of Sanzo when suddenly his knee brushed by something hard in the vicinity of Sanzo's thighs. "Eh? Sanzo, what's that in your pants that's so hard?"

And so Hakkai returned to a scene of mass chaos in which Gojyo was rolling on the floor laughing, Sanzo was dumping Goku on the ground, and Goku was rubbing his sore bottom. He sweatdropped at the scene and deposited his purchases in the driver's seat and then ran over to Gojyo's side.

"Gojyo! What happened?"

"The saru...he said...Bwahahahaha!" The kappa couldn't even get enough words out of his mouth to say it.

"Urusai!" Thwack thwack went the harisen.

The ikkou, after a long pause in which Sanzo could blow off some steam by beating up a still laughing Gojyo, piled into the jeep, ready to continue their journey westward. They had decided that Hakkai should get some sleep and that Gojyo should drive in his stead. Sanzo refused to give up his seat in the front, so Hakkai agreed to sit in the back with Goku, on the right side behind Gojyo. It would be a long way to the next town, judging by the thickness of the trees that the forest here was most definitely going to bring a long and arduous ride.

Since the jeep was so silent, Gojyo decided that the best way to make conversation was probably to continue to tease the two.

"You know, Sanzo," He said this in a hushed tone, only loud enough for the monk to hear. "It's pretty damned apparent that you were hard, so why don't you just explain it to Goku or I'm gonna make Hakkai sleep horizontally in the back and get Goku sit in the front with you again..."

Thwack thwack. "Urusai! Ero-kappa! Don't you think you've gotten enough hits to your head today or did I destroy too many brain cells?!"

Gojyo chuckled. "Aw...does the great Sanzo houshi-sama doesn't want to admit he LOV..."

Thwack thwack thwack thwack thwack. "Urusai!" Sanzo continued to pelt the poor kappa with his harisen, completely forgetting the fact that Gojyo was driving.

Which of course was a small little factor that even the sleeping Hakkai was roused by. "Maa, maa, Sanzo. Not only did your ruckus wake me up, but did you notice that we're going to crash into that tree if you don't let Gojyo drive?"

"Eh?" The redhead turned his attention forward, then grasped the wheel in time to turn the jeep away from the tree and swerved off. The four caught their breaths from the close encounter and Hakkai looked at them sternly.

"I think maybe it's best if we exchange seats Sanzo. If either you or Goku fight with Gojyo, that might happen again and I do so appreciate my few hours of rest." He smiled politely at the monk and Sanzo cursed, getting up from his seat in the front and allowing the man to sit there instead. Goku slid over to the other seat and let Sanzo sit in his original seat and the four continued on their journey, with Gojyo as their hapless driver who was still laughing his head off.

The night before had not brought much sleep to any of them, so Sanzo and Goku were already beginning to doze off in the backseat. Hakkai was already asleep, with a blanket he bought at the market wrapped around himself. His head began to roll off to the side and fall on Gojyo's shoulder ever so slightly, causing the redhead to have to shift his shoulder in order to drive at the same time.

The ever-so-slight shift of his shoulder caused Hakkai to awaken and blink at him sleepily. "What's wrong, Gojyo?"

"Nothing, it's just a bit hard to drive if you slept like that so I moved a little. Go back to sleep."

Seeing nothing wrong with that Hakkai replied. "Aa, sou desu ne. Oyasumi, Gojyo-san." Hakkai's attempt to go back to sleep was briefly interrupted when Gojyo decided to stop the jeep suddenly. "Gojyo?"

The kappa got up and rummaged quickly through their travelling pack for what he was looking for. "Ah! Here it is!" He held up the camera triumphantly and Hakkai sweatdropped at this.

"Ano...what are you going to do with that?"

"Hey, if bouzu and the saru there aren't going to admit today and yesterday ever happened, at least I have these pictures to use to humiliate them with forever and ever and ever." He pointed to the pair, who were precariously sleeping on each other and looked quite calm and relaxed, the nightmares leaving their resting hours and giving them the tranquility they so richly deserved.

"Aa...sou desu ne."

And so, the perverted kappa happily snapped a few rolls of film of the two sleeping on each other. Yes, Gojyo was definitely getting his revenge on the saru now. He was particularly happy with the picture of Goku drooling all over Sanzo.

Now if only tape recorders were invented so that he could tape what they were saying about each other...

-Owari-

Yay! Randomness! ^_^ If you're wondering why Hakkai says "Gojyo-san" every so often, it's because I have a running joke with a friend of mine that he uses that whenever he's kidding. Whoo...this fic was weird. *berates self* I don't think I should write too much when I'm sick ^^;;
But yes, do read and review, it is much appreciated ^_^