Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel or any of it's characters, but I do own Lynn and Ronan 'cause
I created them. And I also own the pride I have from the reviews I finally got! Last chapter I was
depressed, this chapter I'm exited! And then I'm sorry this took so long.
Today's Motto: Aren't mood swings a b*tch?
Just kidding!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as Alec turned the corner, he ran. Checking to see that no one could see him first, he
blurred away from Crash. He slowed down once he was far enough away so that the others
wouldn't find him, and then he just ran.
Away from the fear of hurting the people he loved, away from the fear of being hated, judged,
from the fear of being feared, from the fear of being attacked and captured. Away from those
who would hurt him, hate him, and away from the pain.
He refused to feel anything but his feet hitting the pavement, the burning in his lungs, and the cold
lash of the wind on his face. He would not stop, knowing that if he did, the pain and fear would
find him; catch up to him. He only paused, and just long enough to flash his sector pass at a
checkpoint.
He ran even though most of the people of Seattle had settled down for the night, even though the
sky was pitch black and there were no lights around him.
Only when he reached a sign, emblazoned with bold letters stating 'You are now leaving Seattle,'
did he stop. What the hell was he doing? What was this going to accomplish?
Alec knew, from previous experience, that running never helped anything, and whatever he meant
to accomplish by it, it never worked. He had tried to run from the pain in his head in Psy. Ops.,
and it still hurt. He ran from his feelings for Rachel and losing her, and they exploded at him the
moment he returned to the Berrisford mansion. He ran from guilt on each one of his Manticore-
assigned missions, and each time, it just made it easier for him to carry out their orders. Max's
unit ran from Manticore in '09, and it only caused them to lose each other, while hurting everyone
they left behind, and sending them to hell and back. By running, he was only hurting those he left
behind, and himself as well. He ran from Crash, from Asha, and he still ended up almost getting
her killed. Running didn't solve anything.
So Alec turned around. And he walked back home. Actually, running did help with one thing: It
helped him to realize that running wasn't the answer. And suddenly, for reasons as of then unsure
to him, Alec no longer felt that he even wanted to run. What was there to run from? What was
there to run for?
********
Early in the morning, Alec was hanging up his jacket on the rack just inside his apartment door.
"You're back," a voice stated from his couch, giving Alec a small fright. "I was beginning to think
you wouldn't come."
"Asha, I-"
"You really scared me, you know."
"Why?" Alec asked her, turning to look her in the eyes.
"What do you mean, why?" she asked, rising from the couch and approaching him carefully.
"You were hurt, you were pushing me away, I thought you were gonna leave or something!"
Alec stared at her, showing no emotion on his beautifully sculpted features.
"Alec, please don't do this," she pleaded. "It was one incident, that doesn't mean you're gonna
get me killed, or-"
"But there still is a possibility," Alec stated coldly. Then his demeanor changed, and he was filled
resolve and defeat at the same time. "So why do you want to stick around?"
"Because I love you!"
"Why? Asha, why exactly do you love me?"
"I . . . I . . ." Asha's eyes flooded with confusion.
"That's what I thought. If you really, *really* loved me, you wouldn't have hesitated before
spilling over with jumbled and run-together thoughts of why. Things that no matter how small,
mean the world to you. I know, I've been in love before. Ask me why I love you."
"Why-"
"I don't know," Alec said, shrugging nonchalantly. "Because the truth is, I don't think I do. So,
since it's so dangerous for us to be together right now, why are we?"
Asha was once again at a loss for words.
"Don't even worry about it. We're not over, because we never really even started in the first
place. You'll find someone for you, Asha. It's just not me." Alec stepped to the side and opened
the door to let her exit.
She did so, grabbing her coat off of the couch, and muttering a dazed 'see you later' as she left.
********
"My god . . ." Ronan gasped as he collapsed onto the ratty couch in the apartment he and Lynn
shared, where she had dragged him from Crash.
"What?" Lynn asked him as she retrieved her first aid kit from the cupboard.
"I just . . ." Ronan sighed. "I'm such an idiot."
"No argument here," Lynn agreed. Ronan looked at her with shock on his face. "What you did
was both stupid and STUPID, and the complete asshole thing to do," she explained.
Ronan hung his head. "I didn't mean . . . well, I didn't know . . . dammit, I'm just an idiot! I
mean, what the hell was I thinking?"
"I'm not sure, but I'm willing to bet it was your ego at work, and not your brain. If you even
have one." Lynn slammed the kit onto the kitchen counter. "He held back, and beat you every
time, but made it seem like a fair fight to ensure *your* safety, and you had to go pull off a stunt
like this?!? Do you hate him that much?"
"I don't hate him, and stop treating me like such a screw up!" Ronan yelled.
"You SCREWED UP!!! What the hell do you expect?"
"I EXPECT you to at least understand where I'm coming from!"
Lynn's shoulders slumped, and she deflated with defeat. "I never understand you, Ronan," she
said, voice barely above a whisper. "I don't understand why you do the stupid things you do. I
don't understand why you don't like to watch sci-fi. I don't understand why you can't stand to
look at the stars. I don't understand why you fight everything that breathes in a way you don't
like. I don't understand why you have to yell every time I mention Manticore. I don't understand
your morning rituals. I don't understand why you drink, or why you always try new things. I
don't understand the way you feel, and I never understood the way you think. The fact is, I don't
understand one single thing about you."
"And you don't even try. You don't even care." Ronan's voice was cold and menacing.
Lynn stormed over to him and slapped him hard across the face. "You asshole! How dare you
say that to me! Even when we were kids I always was trying to help you! To figure out what
was the matter and try to make things better for you! I stuck with you after the fire and helped
you fit in and make a life for yourself. I've picked you up from rock bottom and set you back on
your feet. I catered to your every whim just to figure out why the hell you were doing it in the
first place!"
"And you never stopped to think that maybe that's not what I wanted!"
"What?!?" Lynn asked, out of breath and exasperated.
"I don't want you help. I don't want your pity. I don't want you to pick me up. I don't want to
depend on you for everything, no matter how big or small. I don't want you to stick with me, like
I'm some weakling who can't handle things himself."
"And what, exactly do you want?"
"I want you to leave me alone. I want to be by myself."
All the anger, weariness, pity, hope; all feeling whatsoever, disappeared from Lynn's face as she
stared at him. "Fine," she bit off coldly. "I won't stay in your way any longer. I won't try to
help you anymore. I'm done anyway. Next time you hit rock bottom, you can pick your own self
back up. Just remember, when it happens, that's the way you wanted it."
With that, Lynn turned on her heel and entered her bedroom. She picked up the bag that she
always had packed in case she needed to make a fast getaway, and stormed out of the apartment,
and out of Ronan's life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't stop reading, it's not over yet. . . .
Khassa: you see me working on that little detail. Now look what you've caused! Lol. Actually,
look what you've inspired! Your constructive criticism was greatly helpful. It provided me with
an interesting plot development, which will help me a lot. Thank you very much.
Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Anybody and/or everybody!
I created them. And I also own the pride I have from the reviews I finally got! Last chapter I was
depressed, this chapter I'm exited! And then I'm sorry this took so long.
Today's Motto: Aren't mood swings a b*tch?
Just kidding!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As soon as Alec turned the corner, he ran. Checking to see that no one could see him first, he
blurred away from Crash. He slowed down once he was far enough away so that the others
wouldn't find him, and then he just ran.
Away from the fear of hurting the people he loved, away from the fear of being hated, judged,
from the fear of being feared, from the fear of being attacked and captured. Away from those
who would hurt him, hate him, and away from the pain.
He refused to feel anything but his feet hitting the pavement, the burning in his lungs, and the cold
lash of the wind on his face. He would not stop, knowing that if he did, the pain and fear would
find him; catch up to him. He only paused, and just long enough to flash his sector pass at a
checkpoint.
He ran even though most of the people of Seattle had settled down for the night, even though the
sky was pitch black and there were no lights around him.
Only when he reached a sign, emblazoned with bold letters stating 'You are now leaving Seattle,'
did he stop. What the hell was he doing? What was this going to accomplish?
Alec knew, from previous experience, that running never helped anything, and whatever he meant
to accomplish by it, it never worked. He had tried to run from the pain in his head in Psy. Ops.,
and it still hurt. He ran from his feelings for Rachel and losing her, and they exploded at him the
moment he returned to the Berrisford mansion. He ran from guilt on each one of his Manticore-
assigned missions, and each time, it just made it easier for him to carry out their orders. Max's
unit ran from Manticore in '09, and it only caused them to lose each other, while hurting everyone
they left behind, and sending them to hell and back. By running, he was only hurting those he left
behind, and himself as well. He ran from Crash, from Asha, and he still ended up almost getting
her killed. Running didn't solve anything.
So Alec turned around. And he walked back home. Actually, running did help with one thing: It
helped him to realize that running wasn't the answer. And suddenly, for reasons as of then unsure
to him, Alec no longer felt that he even wanted to run. What was there to run from? What was
there to run for?
********
Early in the morning, Alec was hanging up his jacket on the rack just inside his apartment door.
"You're back," a voice stated from his couch, giving Alec a small fright. "I was beginning to think
you wouldn't come."
"Asha, I-"
"You really scared me, you know."
"Why?" Alec asked her, turning to look her in the eyes.
"What do you mean, why?" she asked, rising from the couch and approaching him carefully.
"You were hurt, you were pushing me away, I thought you were gonna leave or something!"
Alec stared at her, showing no emotion on his beautifully sculpted features.
"Alec, please don't do this," she pleaded. "It was one incident, that doesn't mean you're gonna
get me killed, or-"
"But there still is a possibility," Alec stated coldly. Then his demeanor changed, and he was filled
resolve and defeat at the same time. "So why do you want to stick around?"
"Because I love you!"
"Why? Asha, why exactly do you love me?"
"I . . . I . . ." Asha's eyes flooded with confusion.
"That's what I thought. If you really, *really* loved me, you wouldn't have hesitated before
spilling over with jumbled and run-together thoughts of why. Things that no matter how small,
mean the world to you. I know, I've been in love before. Ask me why I love you."
"Why-"
"I don't know," Alec said, shrugging nonchalantly. "Because the truth is, I don't think I do. So,
since it's so dangerous for us to be together right now, why are we?"
Asha was once again at a loss for words.
"Don't even worry about it. We're not over, because we never really even started in the first
place. You'll find someone for you, Asha. It's just not me." Alec stepped to the side and opened
the door to let her exit.
She did so, grabbing her coat off of the couch, and muttering a dazed 'see you later' as she left.
********
"My god . . ." Ronan gasped as he collapsed onto the ratty couch in the apartment he and Lynn
shared, where she had dragged him from Crash.
"What?" Lynn asked him as she retrieved her first aid kit from the cupboard.
"I just . . ." Ronan sighed. "I'm such an idiot."
"No argument here," Lynn agreed. Ronan looked at her with shock on his face. "What you did
was both stupid and STUPID, and the complete asshole thing to do," she explained.
Ronan hung his head. "I didn't mean . . . well, I didn't know . . . dammit, I'm just an idiot! I
mean, what the hell was I thinking?"
"I'm not sure, but I'm willing to bet it was your ego at work, and not your brain. If you even
have one." Lynn slammed the kit onto the kitchen counter. "He held back, and beat you every
time, but made it seem like a fair fight to ensure *your* safety, and you had to go pull off a stunt
like this?!? Do you hate him that much?"
"I don't hate him, and stop treating me like such a screw up!" Ronan yelled.
"You SCREWED UP!!! What the hell do you expect?"
"I EXPECT you to at least understand where I'm coming from!"
Lynn's shoulders slumped, and she deflated with defeat. "I never understand you, Ronan," she
said, voice barely above a whisper. "I don't understand why you do the stupid things you do. I
don't understand why you don't like to watch sci-fi. I don't understand why you can't stand to
look at the stars. I don't understand why you fight everything that breathes in a way you don't
like. I don't understand why you have to yell every time I mention Manticore. I don't understand
your morning rituals. I don't understand why you drink, or why you always try new things. I
don't understand the way you feel, and I never understood the way you think. The fact is, I don't
understand one single thing about you."
"And you don't even try. You don't even care." Ronan's voice was cold and menacing.
Lynn stormed over to him and slapped him hard across the face. "You asshole! How dare you
say that to me! Even when we were kids I always was trying to help you! To figure out what
was the matter and try to make things better for you! I stuck with you after the fire and helped
you fit in and make a life for yourself. I've picked you up from rock bottom and set you back on
your feet. I catered to your every whim just to figure out why the hell you were doing it in the
first place!"
"And you never stopped to think that maybe that's not what I wanted!"
"What?!?" Lynn asked, out of breath and exasperated.
"I don't want you help. I don't want your pity. I don't want you to pick me up. I don't want to
depend on you for everything, no matter how big or small. I don't want you to stick with me, like
I'm some weakling who can't handle things himself."
"And what, exactly do you want?"
"I want you to leave me alone. I want to be by myself."
All the anger, weariness, pity, hope; all feeling whatsoever, disappeared from Lynn's face as she
stared at him. "Fine," she bit off coldly. "I won't stay in your way any longer. I won't try to
help you anymore. I'm done anyway. Next time you hit rock bottom, you can pick your own self
back up. Just remember, when it happens, that's the way you wanted it."
With that, Lynn turned on her heel and entered her bedroom. She picked up the bag that she
always had packed in case she needed to make a fast getaway, and stormed out of the apartment,
and out of Ronan's life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't stop reading, it's not over yet. . . .
Khassa: you see me working on that little detail. Now look what you've caused! Lol. Actually,
look what you've inspired! Your constructive criticism was greatly helpful. It provided me with
an interesting plot development, which will help me a lot. Thank you very much.
Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Anybody and/or everybody!