Disclaimer: Nothing and no one related to the X-Files belongs to me. I sure would *like* it to, but that doesn't really matter, does it?

Kamikaze Kerrie and her Band of Evil People Attack the White House With Their Mega Super-Duper Unbeatable Crystallized Ice Launcher of Doom

SCULLY

It started as a normal, although boring, day at the office. Started being the key word there. Mulder was throwing pencils at the ceiling, and I was *trying* to get some paperwork done.

"Mulder, why don't you do some of this for once?" I asked.

"What?" he was still staring at his pencil, which was now stuck in the ceiling. "Oh, that. I dunno."

I sighed. About two minutes later the phone rang. Mulder answered it.

"X-Files division," he said. "Oh, hi! Uh-huh. Mm-hm. Yeah."

When he hung up he said, "That was Spoon. We need to go meet him. Apparently the evil undead mutant genetic freaks are back, and they're going to attack the White House!"

"So where are we going to meet him?"

"He's going to send Spork to come get us.

SPOON

great this evil manacle of doom has also disappeared with the ice launcher too... maybe Scully and Mulder can help.

Hey! Speaking of them spork's signal is getting stronger! Open the magical super retractable tarp doors!!!!!(VERY EXPENSIVE) Hey guys, whats up? Well, besides you...

MULDER

"Wow, this is sooooooo cool!" I said as we entered the Spoon Cave. Scully wasn't staring at Spoon this time, she was staring at his spork, Spork. Apparently sporks were like dogs to spoons. Verrrrrry interesting.

"I can't believe I'm following a spork into a cave inhabited by a spoon who can walk." Scully muttered.

"Hey, cheer up, we're gonna save the world!" I said. "Or at least the President."

"With a spoon."

"Yeah, uh-huh."

She was about to say something, but she stopped when she heard Spoon calling out, "Open the magical super retractable tarp doors!!!!!" She reached out to open it but it opened by itself.

"Cool!" I said again. This was sooooooo much better than throwing pencils at the ceiling while Scully glared at me for not doing paperwork.

Spoon asked us what was up.

"Nothing, the usual, saving the world with a spoon. Or at least the President." Scully replied, mimicking me.

"You know, mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery." I said. Scully just glared at me. Again.

SPOON

Well off to the whitehouse! I'll take the spoonmobile,

you can take spork. deal? "Sure" they said in unison.

in 15 minutes we both met and saw what we were up against... An undead army of jack***** that hate us all.

SCULLY

"Them again?!?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, and this time they have Krycek on their side!" Mulder said.

"They had Krycek on their side last time." I reminded him.

"No, Lordine Kamel sucked his brains out, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"Oh no!" Spoon shouted. "They have the Mega Super-Duper Unbeatable Crystallized Ice Launcher of Doom!!!!!! That makes our job a whole lot harder!"

"Mega Super-Duper whatsit?" I asked.

"Nevermind, we just have to stop them!" Spoon and Mulder shouted.

SPOON

Then the magical super duper flying horse of goodness Tango and his magical laser eyed partner THE JACKINATOR!! came and blew up the Mega Super-Duper Unbeatable Crystallized Ice Launcher of Doom and Tango used his incredibly large bucking hooves to smash the manacle of doom.And The TIMINATOR came and hugged the jackinator.

MULDER

"Wow a flying horse!" I said.

"That's great Mulder but we need to kill off this undead army before we waste time contemplating the impossibleness of this situation!" Scully shouted. She had kind of lost me after the "kill off the undead army" part, but oh well. We shot all of the mutant people and decided to tie Krycek to a pole in the middle of the desert and let him die slowly of hyperthermia and then let the vultures eat him. I hate that guy.

"Well, that was impossible but fun!" Scully said.

"What?" I definitely hadn't expected that.

"Yeah, don't you agree?"

Maybe seeing the flying horse had done something to her brain. But it didn't really matter to me.

THE END