A/N no real comment so far, but as always enjoy!
I felt very confused as to how to explain my thoughts. After we all set forth to go to Helm's Deep, I felt no different. I lagged behind as everyone else went ahead of me. I decided to focus more on what would happen when we got to our destination to keep my mind off things. Soon Legolas was by my side.
"You're falling back a bit, trying to lose us all?" He joked. I gave him a half smile. "You are being most inappropriate. Things are very serious right now!" I warned. He gave a sad grin. "I know, but I forget that when I'm with you, it is just so easy to tease when you act serious." I shook my head. "You are hopeless. What will we do with you?" I said. He just sighed. "Who knows." Was all he said.
Legolas hung back with me and we talked for awhile. "I'm uneasy about this whole thing." He confessed. "I just have this feeling........" I took his word for it. I too, felt like going to Helm's Deep was a bad idea.
During one of our many conversations, Legolas perked up and ran ahead. It turned out there were scouts lurking. Eowyn and myself were about to go off to battle, when Theoden held us back. "I am a member of the fellowship, my lord, I must fight!" I protested, trying to keep my anger back, and still have proper manners. But no matter what I had said in my polite rage, I still ended up with everyone else and leading them to Helm's Deep. I bit my lip holding back my curses. Eowyn tried to calm me down. "do not worry, it isn't all that bad, at least we got to be denied of fighting together." She said trying to hide her own frustration. "I came to help them. Why am I refused that duty that I set out to do?" I practically snapped back. Eowyn had no answer, but if she did, she didn't speak of it.
After we arrived I was still furious. I decided that there would most likely be injured, so I set out my medicines for there soon need. I waited for what seemed like ages. When the few who survived came back, I was away from all the commotion to know what had happened. Legolas went to find me. I felt as though steam had been pouring through my ears, I was that angry. I took no notice when Legolas arrived and gently tried to get my attention. After a light tap on my shoulder, I acknowledged his being there. His eyes were shiny, showing traces of forced back tears. I wondered, forgetting my rage, what could have made him so upset. "Aragorn, fell over a cliff, and........" He couldn't finish, as words were failing him. He puled out a silver pendant, that I recognized as the one Arwen gave Aragorn. "Oh no....." I gasped words failing myself as well. Legolas sat next to me and put his head on my shoulder. "This is too much for my heart to bear." He said. I was still speechless. After a long pause, Legolas got up and look in my eyes. "You seem unable to weep lately." He stated. "I want to, but I just can't get myself to be able to, like I shouldn't cry." Legolas nodded, "I've been feeling similar to that, but all the clues.......I just don't know." I was just as confused, but my heart firmly felt that this wasn't the end of Aragorn's days. I spent the next day healing those who needed it. I got so busy that I hardly had time to talk to Eowyn or Legolas. On the second day, Legolas found me, a grin on his lips. "I can sense that he is coming back, can you?" He asked. I had less tuned emotions as him, but I did slightly feel like I should be joyful. I confessed this and he just had an even bigger smile. Sure enough, later that day, Aragorn rode up, weary but alive. I healed his few wounds and he went off to find Theoden and report what had happened. That night, all of Helm's Deep was preparing for war.
My joy that morning faded, as I remembered my anger and now this threat of attack. Legolas seemed more upset than I, especially since every man and boy were to fight. "This will not work." He said in a huff. This too saddened me. My hope diminished as I learned the numbers of each army. I decided to get ready for battle.
As I put on my armor, I heard a commotion in elvish, Legolas and Aragorn were arguing. I hurried to the sound of their raised voices. When I got to the scene, Legolas was already storming off. I went after him and gently put my arm on his shoulder. "Mani marte n'alaqyel eller? [what happened back there?]" I asked softly. He looked at me, in a way I had not seen of him before. "Sina dagor nauva gurth nossa ilye. [This battle will kill us all]" He said, with that same sorrowful look. I lowered my eyes to the ground. "I have no words of comfort to offer you." I said in a flat tone. I decided to go. As I turned to leave, "Even if we should all die, do you really want to let Aragorn's last memory of you're words be what you said to him just now?" I said, giving a backward glance. He had no answer. I went on my way, when. "Rin? Do not leave me for now?" He had a gentle grasp on my wrist. I smiled, but it was a sad smile. "You will apologize to Aragorn later?" I asked. He nodded. "I just need some time before I can muster up my courage to do so." I sat with him. He gazed out into the night through a window. "I am glad you are here with me." He said, smiling. "Sometimes, you are all there is to keep me from going insane." I gave a small laugh. This was true, I was one of the few people who could keep him calm at times when he was frustrated over something. "I think I will go apologize now." He said, as he bade me goodbye. I decided to finish gearing up for battle.
When I caught up to everyone, Legolas suddenly noticed my preparations for fighting. "Rin, I don't think anyone will let you fight." He whispered in surprise. "Why not? Is that not what I set out to do?" I asked. He shook his head. "I know, but, it may not go so well with-" He didn't finish his sentence, because a clear horn sounded that I knew all too well.
I hurried with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Theoden to greet the Lorien army. I smiled at my brother, who was in his formal uniform. When he declared that Lorien was to help in this battle, I was filled with joy. After Haldir had time to talk with me, he glared. "What do you think you are doing?" He almost barked at me. "Whatever happened to 'hello', or am I no longer important to you, elder brother?" I asked as he sighed. "Of course you are important to me, that is why I want to know why my little sister is geared up for war?" It was my turn to sigh. "I am fighting because it is my duty." Haldir tossed his hands in the air. "You're duty? You are a female! You're duty is with the other women in the caves! This is a serious battle Rin, not a little game of yours." I was hurt. "So everything I have done to defend Middle-Earth was a game?" I demanded. Haldir sighed once more. "No, but I care about you, and I do not want you to get hurt or worse. You are not making this any easier for me." I looked away. "I....I...understand." I was heart broken. I perfectly understood where Haldir was coming from, but I had to fight. I was assigned to the fellowship, and I had a job to do. I was to help Frodo get the ring to Mordor, and if this battle were won, then that would surely help him by distracting Sauron. I had to do anything possible, even though I was far away from where he may be. But now I was again being refused to do my job. I sulked away to the caves. "Rin, I am sorry. Please understand." Haldir said, trying to ease my disappointment. "I understand, it is accepting it that is the problem." I left again for the caves.
I arrived and Eowyn was there, the similar disappointment of not being able to fight. "It is such a pity that a man can fight and not a woman." She huffed. I agreed, then got an idea. "That's it!" I exclaimed. Eowyn was confused. "What are you talking about?" She asked, confused. I ran out of the caves again and went to the armory. If I wasn't to fight this battle as a female, I would fight it as a male.
I decided to wear more masculine clothing, but when I got to my hair I frowned. It wasn't very long compared to most other she-elves my age, but I still cherished its beautiful and shiny length that crept to my lower back. I had not the heart to cut it, so I tied it up with some rope up high on my head. Unfortunately, it did not look convincing, as most men of Rohan had medium length hair. It grieved me as I took my sword to my hair. I cut it to a little past my shoulders and removed to snarled braids that got that way from the swift cut I had made. I looked at my reflection in my shield I had found. It looked all right, but I already missed my old hairstyle. I reminded myself that it was hair and would grow back, and in the long run, this was a very unimportant matter. With that settled I hurried into my other finishing touches. I smeared some dirt on my face to make it look less fair and feminine. I had everything on and took one last look into the shield. I gasped at my new reflection, I was very convincing now, as my face was almost totally covered by the helmet. I hurried off to the front lines.
I managed to be very close to where Haldir stood. I tried to find the others, but alas, my helmet limited my vision. I heard the men around me talk nervously about how futile this was. I tried to block their words. I could see off into the distance, the orcs approaching.
If this wasn't enough, the air suddenly had a chill to it, and it poured down rain. In the sheet of gray, I saw the orcs reach nearer and nearer to the wall. Everyone was silent.
I felt so scared. A voice in my head didn't make things any better. "You could be safe now, but no, you just had to fight didn't you? You will die tonight. It is all you're fault. You are so stupid to have done this. Look how close those orcs are. You dug yourself in deep this time Rin." I gulped and tried to think of something else.
At the command, I raised my bow. The orcs stopped and all was silent, until the orcs beat the weapons and growled. An elder human accidentally shot one. Battle commenced.
I fought hard. There were just too many of the orcs. I saw many fall beside me and die. My eyes widened in fear. I was horrified, but had to fight for my own life. I never knew how long I fought, but I became so tired after what seemed like ages even to myself. It seemed impossible to keep the endless line of enemies from reaching the top of the tower. I panted and saw many dying and dead elves and men all around me. Death was strongly in the air. I saw Haldir still fighting, and many were retreating at this point. I heard a familiar voice call, it was Aragorn. "Haldir! Retreat to the caves!" Haldir nodded, and to my fear, some orcs ran to him. Before I could call out, they got to him. He fell to the ground as the stabbed him. I screamed in horror. I ran the fastest I ever had in my life. I killed them off, and grabbed on to my brother. "Haldir!" I called to him. He raised a hand to my face. "Rinwethien?" he asked. "I'm here now." I said. Haldir's breathing became faint, until he wasn't at all. I pulled back my hair as hot tears fell down and I cried so hard. I then lifted my dead brother on to my lap and stroked his hair, I was covered in his blood. I felt a sharp pain in the side of my skull, and everything went black.
I first thought I was dead, but if I was, then how come I was still able to see around Helm's Deep? And why did all my physical pain return? I was lying on the floor, with other wounded around me. I could barely move my head, the pain was so bad from my sore body. I wondered if any of my friends made it. Obviously the battle went well, as I was not dead. I fell back into a fitful sleep.
I awoke to hear light footsteps. The moon lit the hallway just enough for me to see the nimble elven form. I saw the elf's head look frantically. "Legolas?" I rasped. He turned abruptly and fell down to where I lay. I could barely make out his face, but when a trickle of water fell on me, I knew he had been weeping. "Rinwethien. I am so glad I found you! When you were not with the other women and children down in the caves, I knew you had went off to the battle in secret. I thought you had died out there, I couldn't find you anywhere!" He was very upset. I put a hand on his shoulder. "I am perfectly fine..........but......My brother." Legolas understood. "I am sorry." He said. Tears came down like a river. I couldn't bear the thought of my brother passing. Legolas embraced me and I forgot my physical pain and wept on his shoulder.
After a good cry I released my grip. He stared into my eyes. "Rin......" It was all he has said. I fell back to the ground. Legolas picked me up a little and held me until I fell asleep. That night I slept without a single nightmare.
I felt very confused as to how to explain my thoughts. After we all set forth to go to Helm's Deep, I felt no different. I lagged behind as everyone else went ahead of me. I decided to focus more on what would happen when we got to our destination to keep my mind off things. Soon Legolas was by my side.
"You're falling back a bit, trying to lose us all?" He joked. I gave him a half smile. "You are being most inappropriate. Things are very serious right now!" I warned. He gave a sad grin. "I know, but I forget that when I'm with you, it is just so easy to tease when you act serious." I shook my head. "You are hopeless. What will we do with you?" I said. He just sighed. "Who knows." Was all he said.
Legolas hung back with me and we talked for awhile. "I'm uneasy about this whole thing." He confessed. "I just have this feeling........" I took his word for it. I too, felt like going to Helm's Deep was a bad idea.
During one of our many conversations, Legolas perked up and ran ahead. It turned out there were scouts lurking. Eowyn and myself were about to go off to battle, when Theoden held us back. "I am a member of the fellowship, my lord, I must fight!" I protested, trying to keep my anger back, and still have proper manners. But no matter what I had said in my polite rage, I still ended up with everyone else and leading them to Helm's Deep. I bit my lip holding back my curses. Eowyn tried to calm me down. "do not worry, it isn't all that bad, at least we got to be denied of fighting together." She said trying to hide her own frustration. "I came to help them. Why am I refused that duty that I set out to do?" I practically snapped back. Eowyn had no answer, but if she did, she didn't speak of it.
After we arrived I was still furious. I decided that there would most likely be injured, so I set out my medicines for there soon need. I waited for what seemed like ages. When the few who survived came back, I was away from all the commotion to know what had happened. Legolas went to find me. I felt as though steam had been pouring through my ears, I was that angry. I took no notice when Legolas arrived and gently tried to get my attention. After a light tap on my shoulder, I acknowledged his being there. His eyes were shiny, showing traces of forced back tears. I wondered, forgetting my rage, what could have made him so upset. "Aragorn, fell over a cliff, and........" He couldn't finish, as words were failing him. He puled out a silver pendant, that I recognized as the one Arwen gave Aragorn. "Oh no....." I gasped words failing myself as well. Legolas sat next to me and put his head on my shoulder. "This is too much for my heart to bear." He said. I was still speechless. After a long pause, Legolas got up and look in my eyes. "You seem unable to weep lately." He stated. "I want to, but I just can't get myself to be able to, like I shouldn't cry." Legolas nodded, "I've been feeling similar to that, but all the clues.......I just don't know." I was just as confused, but my heart firmly felt that this wasn't the end of Aragorn's days. I spent the next day healing those who needed it. I got so busy that I hardly had time to talk to Eowyn or Legolas. On the second day, Legolas found me, a grin on his lips. "I can sense that he is coming back, can you?" He asked. I had less tuned emotions as him, but I did slightly feel like I should be joyful. I confessed this and he just had an even bigger smile. Sure enough, later that day, Aragorn rode up, weary but alive. I healed his few wounds and he went off to find Theoden and report what had happened. That night, all of Helm's Deep was preparing for war.
My joy that morning faded, as I remembered my anger and now this threat of attack. Legolas seemed more upset than I, especially since every man and boy were to fight. "This will not work." He said in a huff. This too saddened me. My hope diminished as I learned the numbers of each army. I decided to get ready for battle.
As I put on my armor, I heard a commotion in elvish, Legolas and Aragorn were arguing. I hurried to the sound of their raised voices. When I got to the scene, Legolas was already storming off. I went after him and gently put my arm on his shoulder. "Mani marte n'alaqyel eller? [what happened back there?]" I asked softly. He looked at me, in a way I had not seen of him before. "Sina dagor nauva gurth nossa ilye. [This battle will kill us all]" He said, with that same sorrowful look. I lowered my eyes to the ground. "I have no words of comfort to offer you." I said in a flat tone. I decided to go. As I turned to leave, "Even if we should all die, do you really want to let Aragorn's last memory of you're words be what you said to him just now?" I said, giving a backward glance. He had no answer. I went on my way, when. "Rin? Do not leave me for now?" He had a gentle grasp on my wrist. I smiled, but it was a sad smile. "You will apologize to Aragorn later?" I asked. He nodded. "I just need some time before I can muster up my courage to do so." I sat with him. He gazed out into the night through a window. "I am glad you are here with me." He said, smiling. "Sometimes, you are all there is to keep me from going insane." I gave a small laugh. This was true, I was one of the few people who could keep him calm at times when he was frustrated over something. "I think I will go apologize now." He said, as he bade me goodbye. I decided to finish gearing up for battle.
When I caught up to everyone, Legolas suddenly noticed my preparations for fighting. "Rin, I don't think anyone will let you fight." He whispered in surprise. "Why not? Is that not what I set out to do?" I asked. He shook his head. "I know, but, it may not go so well with-" He didn't finish his sentence, because a clear horn sounded that I knew all too well.
I hurried with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Theoden to greet the Lorien army. I smiled at my brother, who was in his formal uniform. When he declared that Lorien was to help in this battle, I was filled with joy. After Haldir had time to talk with me, he glared. "What do you think you are doing?" He almost barked at me. "Whatever happened to 'hello', or am I no longer important to you, elder brother?" I asked as he sighed. "Of course you are important to me, that is why I want to know why my little sister is geared up for war?" It was my turn to sigh. "I am fighting because it is my duty." Haldir tossed his hands in the air. "You're duty? You are a female! You're duty is with the other women in the caves! This is a serious battle Rin, not a little game of yours." I was hurt. "So everything I have done to defend Middle-Earth was a game?" I demanded. Haldir sighed once more. "No, but I care about you, and I do not want you to get hurt or worse. You are not making this any easier for me." I looked away. "I....I...understand." I was heart broken. I perfectly understood where Haldir was coming from, but I had to fight. I was assigned to the fellowship, and I had a job to do. I was to help Frodo get the ring to Mordor, and if this battle were won, then that would surely help him by distracting Sauron. I had to do anything possible, even though I was far away from where he may be. But now I was again being refused to do my job. I sulked away to the caves. "Rin, I am sorry. Please understand." Haldir said, trying to ease my disappointment. "I understand, it is accepting it that is the problem." I left again for the caves.
I arrived and Eowyn was there, the similar disappointment of not being able to fight. "It is such a pity that a man can fight and not a woman." She huffed. I agreed, then got an idea. "That's it!" I exclaimed. Eowyn was confused. "What are you talking about?" She asked, confused. I ran out of the caves again and went to the armory. If I wasn't to fight this battle as a female, I would fight it as a male.
I decided to wear more masculine clothing, but when I got to my hair I frowned. It wasn't very long compared to most other she-elves my age, but I still cherished its beautiful and shiny length that crept to my lower back. I had not the heart to cut it, so I tied it up with some rope up high on my head. Unfortunately, it did not look convincing, as most men of Rohan had medium length hair. It grieved me as I took my sword to my hair. I cut it to a little past my shoulders and removed to snarled braids that got that way from the swift cut I had made. I looked at my reflection in my shield I had found. It looked all right, but I already missed my old hairstyle. I reminded myself that it was hair and would grow back, and in the long run, this was a very unimportant matter. With that settled I hurried into my other finishing touches. I smeared some dirt on my face to make it look less fair and feminine. I had everything on and took one last look into the shield. I gasped at my new reflection, I was very convincing now, as my face was almost totally covered by the helmet. I hurried off to the front lines.
I managed to be very close to where Haldir stood. I tried to find the others, but alas, my helmet limited my vision. I heard the men around me talk nervously about how futile this was. I tried to block their words. I could see off into the distance, the orcs approaching.
If this wasn't enough, the air suddenly had a chill to it, and it poured down rain. In the sheet of gray, I saw the orcs reach nearer and nearer to the wall. Everyone was silent.
I felt so scared. A voice in my head didn't make things any better. "You could be safe now, but no, you just had to fight didn't you? You will die tonight. It is all you're fault. You are so stupid to have done this. Look how close those orcs are. You dug yourself in deep this time Rin." I gulped and tried to think of something else.
At the command, I raised my bow. The orcs stopped and all was silent, until the orcs beat the weapons and growled. An elder human accidentally shot one. Battle commenced.
I fought hard. There were just too many of the orcs. I saw many fall beside me and die. My eyes widened in fear. I was horrified, but had to fight for my own life. I never knew how long I fought, but I became so tired after what seemed like ages even to myself. It seemed impossible to keep the endless line of enemies from reaching the top of the tower. I panted and saw many dying and dead elves and men all around me. Death was strongly in the air. I saw Haldir still fighting, and many were retreating at this point. I heard a familiar voice call, it was Aragorn. "Haldir! Retreat to the caves!" Haldir nodded, and to my fear, some orcs ran to him. Before I could call out, they got to him. He fell to the ground as the stabbed him. I screamed in horror. I ran the fastest I ever had in my life. I killed them off, and grabbed on to my brother. "Haldir!" I called to him. He raised a hand to my face. "Rinwethien?" he asked. "I'm here now." I said. Haldir's breathing became faint, until he wasn't at all. I pulled back my hair as hot tears fell down and I cried so hard. I then lifted my dead brother on to my lap and stroked his hair, I was covered in his blood. I felt a sharp pain in the side of my skull, and everything went black.
I first thought I was dead, but if I was, then how come I was still able to see around Helm's Deep? And why did all my physical pain return? I was lying on the floor, with other wounded around me. I could barely move my head, the pain was so bad from my sore body. I wondered if any of my friends made it. Obviously the battle went well, as I was not dead. I fell back into a fitful sleep.
I awoke to hear light footsteps. The moon lit the hallway just enough for me to see the nimble elven form. I saw the elf's head look frantically. "Legolas?" I rasped. He turned abruptly and fell down to where I lay. I could barely make out his face, but when a trickle of water fell on me, I knew he had been weeping. "Rinwethien. I am so glad I found you! When you were not with the other women and children down in the caves, I knew you had went off to the battle in secret. I thought you had died out there, I couldn't find you anywhere!" He was very upset. I put a hand on his shoulder. "I am perfectly fine..........but......My brother." Legolas understood. "I am sorry." He said. Tears came down like a river. I couldn't bear the thought of my brother passing. Legolas embraced me and I forgot my physical pain and wept on his shoulder.
After a good cry I released my grip. He stared into my eyes. "Rin......" It was all he has said. I fell back to the ground. Legolas picked me up a little and held me until I fell asleep. That night I slept without a single nightmare.