Author Notes:
This is just a very short silliness that spun off from my story "Of Potions and Wolves". There I was searching for something Snape could have done in Divination to get a detention, and Yap was making fun about ... well, you'll see about what when you read it. You also might notice some slight similarities to Lucius' stunning performance in "Dramatis Personae". Well, perhaps Lucius had gotten his idea from this incident in the first place! ;-) (Or perhaps I'm just crazy!)
Yap is my all so faithful beta-wolf-reader (::Mi singing: "... you're my inspiraaatioon ..."::), thanx!
As always, neither Severus nor Sirius nor any of the past or present Hogwarts staff and students belong to me. They are J.K. Rowling's.
Have fun!
Sirius Black and the Divination Incident
Hogwarts - fourth year - Divination class
"I have an announcement to make, Professor Spunt!"
"Well, Master Black, I don't think this is the right environment for something like an announcement. But if you have a comment or a question - go ahead."
"It's more like a ... personal matter." Sirius strode over to Snape's table. Some Gryffindors started giggling and Snape looked at him in utter confusion.
"Master Black, will you be so good as to - "
"SEVERUS," Sirius said dramatically, kneeling down in front of him. "I'm in love with you." Silence fell into the room as if all life had been extinguished. Sirius' face was beaming and he smiled dreamily. "Will you marry me? And make me the happiest bloke on earth?"
Snape breathed in sharply and his face went so red, it was far beyond blushing. It was like setting fire to a haystack. And when Sirius reached out for his hand, he shot up so quickly that he sent his table and chair dashing to the ground. Snape was towering over Sirius, panting, with an expression on his face that would have given Grindelwald the shivers, and suddenly -
"YES."
Sirius blinked. "Um ... What?"
Snape straightened his face and then threw himself up just as dramatically before kneeling down in front of Sirius. "I wanted to tell you too, but I didn't have the nerves. I'm so glad you did."
Sirius was impressed. All the Snapeness seemed to be drained out of his enemy's voice. He frantically realized that his plan was about to boomerang on him. But he was far from giving up and so he made a desperate decision.
"So - can I kiss you now?"
Sirius could see the veins in Snape's temples pounding and his eyes narrowing. The two boys glared at each other. Sirius was silently hoping for Professor Spunt to interfere - now, please! But she hadn't caught up yet and if Snape wouldn't give up they were doomed!
Snape clenched his fists. "NO!!!" he managed through ground teeth while his voice was still amazingly soft. "Not ... if I ... kiss you first!"
And to the sound of dozens of students going "Aaaawww" - the quickest pre-wedding kiss in all history of the wizarding world was given. A legendary one nonetheless.
Professor Spunt finally gained control over the situation. "Master Snape, Master Black ... are you both CRAZY? Go back to your seats immediately! And tell me at once what this is all about."
Sirius was out cold, so Snape aimed for victory. "Professor Spunt, if I may explain. This was a little demonstration about the unpredictability of the future - with help from my charming assistant Black. I'm sure you didn't foresee this to happen!"
Ignoring the cheering Slytherins, Sirius turned to face Snape. This time the killer attitude was all his. "I bet you didn't see that coming, Greaseball." And with a flick of his wand he transfigured Snape into an angry-looking lizard. That would cost him a hundred points, if he was lucky, but it was definitely worth it.
the end