- Author's Note - Haven't updated this in quite some time, it would appear. The prologue and first
chapter have just been edited and reposted, perhaps they are a bit lengthened in stupidity, jetzt?
This part may sound a bit different in comparisson to the previous two installments, as I haven't
really written anything on this in months, and my style has changed quite considerably (yet, I'm not
sure whether it has been for better or worse). Pardon mon Françias.
- Key -
"..." -dialogue
'...' - thought
*...* - emphasis
(...) - quick explanations, drifting along with the story
[#] - author's note
* (5x's) - change of scenery
// ... // - diary entries, letters, articles, etc.
- Warnings - Mild language, OOC (no shit, Sherlock), Excessive usage of French, Comma splicing.
* * * * *
Kamen * By Seph Lorraine
Chapter 2: A Room With No Phone
* * * * *
// May 2nd; 18:39 PM --- Tsukino Usagi's Diary //
Okkei, Rei, since I'm writing this to you, I might as well simply address this to you. Arg. I hate writing.
It makes me feel like I'm in school. I hate school. I hate this. I hate this diary. I hate this house. I hate--
Whoa... Okkei, just a bit too much negativity on my part.
The Count and I, whom I might add-- put the 'hot' in 'hot' (er... I guess that works), talked for a long
time last night. Try -all night-. By the time we were done talking, I felt like I could saw logs for a week.
And you thought that -I- talked to much. I have nothing on this guy.
Did you know that his house was built on an Indian burial ground? What the hell is up with that? I was so
tired, though, this morning when I went to sleep, that I forgot to be afraid of ghosts and stuff.
I didn't even know there were Indians in Japan. I may have slept through the majority of my history
lessons throughout the school year, but I am pretty much sure that there were never any Indians in
Japan.
He also gave me his entire life story.
Apparently, he's related to all these rich dead people who were related to the last emperor or Japan. It
was a very long speech, though, that's pretty much all I got out of it (can you say "boring"?). Oh! But I
did get some stuff worth knowing!
His name is Chiba Mamoru, and he likes green. He suffered some majour head trauma as a child (it's
fairly obvious, as well) and can't remember a thing until he was about eight or something. Then he knew
some weird little grimlin guy with funky coloured hair, and I don't know about that part. The way he
described that other guy (Flower, Fredrick, Friar, Fiore, Whatever...) made me think he was pretty gay.
Maybe that was due to the fact that he said, "His skin was more smooth than the finest silk".
Eh heh...
Oh, damn. I hope he's not gay. The best guys are all either Mako chan's ex-boyfriends or unbelievably
gay! WAAH!
Yea, well, apparently he likes long-haired blonds that are named after animals (even though he didn't
specify male or female). I have long blond hair! I'm named after an animal! I am -so- his type.
Anyway, I dreamt about him in French, after I went to sleep. It was so odd. I don't even speak French.
It was like this...
We were standing on a balcony, the night sky spotted with small twinkling stars, as he approached me.
"Bonjour, madame." He spoke, so eloquently. (trans: "Hello, miss.")
"Bonjour, monsieur." I replied. (trans: "Hello, sir.")
"Comment allez vous, madame?" He asked. (trans: "How do you do, miss?")
"Quelle est la date de la bataille de Waterloo?" (trans: "What is the date of the battle of Waterloo?") I'm
not quite sure why I asked.
"Il est mort en dix sept cent quinze." (trans: "He died in 1715.") He responded, solemnly.
"Qui?" I asked. (trans: "Who?")
"Les charcutiers vendent du pore. Les bouchers vendent les autres espèces de viande." (trans: "Pork
butchers sell pork. Butchers sell the other kinds of meat.")
"Oh." (trans: "Oh.")
Then he gave me a popsicle.
And that was pretty much it. A pretty strange dream, if you ask me. I wonder if it means something?
Bai bai!
-Usagi
()_()
(^.^)
(")(")
* * * * *
Usagi was nothing short of panicking as she knelt over her open luggage. She had absolutely nothing to
wear! Everything was feminine, and probably too small for her now more masculine frame. Her shoulders
had broadened, and her chest had most certainly flattened. The curves of her hips had also dulled, leaving
her with a still thin waist, and she had extra parts between her legs, which she was slightly uncomfortable
with. All together, she appeared as a more feminine man. If she were to be seen in public, some might
even tease her as a "pretty boy". Or rather simply put, they would call her gay.
The point, however, was far off in Russia by now. So God nudged it back over into Japan with a nine-iron [1]
and the world went on.
The fact that Usagi's entire wardrobe consisted of things she wore as a -girl- formed a slight problem, as
now she was a -boy-. It appeared she wouldn't be able to wear her favourite strappy pink sandals, either.
Needless to say, the blond was now quite profusely pouting.
"This sucks." She muttered.
Suddenly an idea struck her. She could use her mobile phone to call one of her friends to bring her some
of her brother's clothes! She could have them delivered before the day was over.
She snapped out her phone, punching random numbers, only to receive a very loud unwelcoming beep.
'Dammit!' She had forgot to bring her charger so she could keep using her phone. She also had no way to
contact anyone back home. She was stuck without communication!
Slightly wrinkling her nose as she put on the same suit she wore the day before, Usagi slipped out of her
room, through the oval room, and into the small parlor. She glanced around, but for as far as she could
see, there was no telephone, and then she noticed something else.
Aside from the fact that the room lacked a proper calling device, was the fact that there was absolutely
nothing electrical at -all-. All of the lights were candles, gas lamps, and lanterns, and there was absolutely
nothing electronic! No TV, no stereo, no phone, no lamps, nothing! A sudden dread came over the blond
as she stood in silent shock.
Oh yes, she was definately going to have to get this deal over with so she could go back home. Whether
the Count was hot or not, she needed modern devices of convenience. She needed a telephone, a TV, a
computer, a stereo, and there was absolutely nothing of the sort in these rooms she had been given. She
glanced at the door, suddenly. Maybe there was a phone somewhere else in the house?
She winced at the thought of going back down those steps. This shack seemed less stable than a soggy
two-story cardboard box.
She approached the door, reaching for the knob and squealing as the door opened before she could even
touch it. The Count stood there, in the doorway, and blinked.
"Uh... Hi." He blinked again. "Was' up?"
Andrew sweatdropped, "Er... Hello. I was just going to see if you had a phone I might use, you see--"
"Oh, I'm afraid not. We don't have any electricity here." He grimaced slightly, "You see, the power bills
were getting awfully expensive, and... Sorry, we don't have any of that."
"Then how did you call us to begin with?" The blond stepped back, allowing the count to enter the room.
"Pay phone." He spoke very quickly and smiled, "Er, maybe you should ready yourself for dinner, I will
have it sent up immediately."
Andrew nearly groaned, for once in his life he didn't feel like eating. He really needed a phone. Never-the-
less, though, he steadied himself to his bedroom to silently sulk. Why did she ever decide to do this in the
first place? When he re-entered the room, though, he saw that his dinner was fixed and waiting for him to
eat.
'PIZZA! WOO HOO! Finally, something's going right...' He nearly began to drool, seeing the dinner he
had been so graciously delivered.
Sitting himself at the table, he glanced at the Count to see if the other man would join him.
"Aa, I ate earlier... by myself." His eyes twitched lightly as he spoke.
"Why do you eat by yourself?"
The Count blinked, "Bad table manners..." Then whispered under his breath, so that the room's other
occupant couldn't hear, "Not that your's are any better."
'He's probably just antisocial.' Andrew thought, before gorging himself on the fine Italien cuisine before
him.
When his meal was finished, the blond sat himself in the chair across from the handsome Count, and
pulled some papers from his jacket pocket, and began, "So, Chiba san--"
"What did you just call me?"
Two blue eyes blinked under a matt of rather messy blond hair, "Chiba san?"
The Count pondered over this for a moment, "What does that mean?"
Andrew took a moment, at this. What the hell was wrong with this guy? How can you live in Japan for
all of your life, be related to the last emperor, and still not know the language -or- even what the suffix
'san' meant? How do you explain what the suffix 'san' means?
The blond solicitor frowned, deciding that this was indeed not the time for him to teach a lesson on
Japanese, "Mr. Chiba, is that better?"
The dark-haired man leaned back in his chair, thinking. He rolled the title upon his tongue and shook his
head, finally. "No... It's just not..." He moved his arms in an unsure gesture, "-me-." The last word stated
in air-quotes.
Andrew frowned, "Then exactly what are--" he paused to put the last word in air-quotes, as well, "-you-?"
The Count rubbed at his chin, suddenly wish he had something stylish like a goatee to tug on when he
was in -deep thought-. "Well, I've kind of always liked the name 'Batman'." [2]
There was an awkward silence following this statement.
"Er..." The blond blinked, "Wasn't Batman a cartoon?"
"Something slightly mysterious, yet dashing..." The Count continued, still in his deep chain of thought,
"like maybe 'Sir Batman', or maybe... 'Count Batman', or even... 'Lord Batman'! Yes, that's it! I shall be
'Lord Batman'!"
There was a rather heavy sweatdrop pressing upon Andrew's skull at the moment, "Okkei... -Lord
Batman-..."
'Lord Batman' smiled contentedly.
The blue-eyed boy coughed and began again, "About this apartment you wish to purchase--"
"Yes, tell me about the neighbourhood, won't you?"
"Er..." Andrew thought for a moment, "Well, I've never really been there, myself. Though, my friend Rei
says she gets a lot of 'bad vibes' from around there--"
"Yes, and tell me about your friend Rei?"
"Well, she's about my height, long black hair, works at a temple--"
"Yes, and tell me about this temple?"
"Well, It's a Shinto temple, where she's working to become a preistess. She's really amazing with fire--"
"Yes, and tell me about this fire?"
Andrew sighed, long and deep. He raised a hand to rub at his temples. It was going to be a very long
night.
* * * * *
To Be Continued...
* * * * *
Notes--
[1] Does anyone else ever have mental images of God playing golf?
[2] This is where you're supposed to be picturing vampire-Mamoru sitting in a large black chair, dressed
in (assumably) black, with a sort of wicked glint in his eyes, and looking as if in thought. Oh yes. He could
-so- be Batman. :)
* * * * *
Next Chapter--
Makoto, Ami, Mina, and Rei exchange letters over the happenings elsewhere in Japan.
* * * * *
[ Originally Drafted and Posted = 5 April 2003 ]
chapter have just been edited and reposted, perhaps they are a bit lengthened in stupidity, jetzt?
This part may sound a bit different in comparisson to the previous two installments, as I haven't
really written anything on this in months, and my style has changed quite considerably (yet, I'm not
sure whether it has been for better or worse). Pardon mon Françias.
- Key -
"..." -dialogue
'...' - thought
*...* - emphasis
(...) - quick explanations, drifting along with the story
[#] - author's note
* (5x's) - change of scenery
// ... // - diary entries, letters, articles, etc.
- Warnings - Mild language, OOC (no shit, Sherlock), Excessive usage of French, Comma splicing.
* * * * *
Kamen * By Seph Lorraine
Chapter 2: A Room With No Phone
* * * * *
// May 2nd; 18:39 PM --- Tsukino Usagi's Diary //
Okkei, Rei, since I'm writing this to you, I might as well simply address this to you. Arg. I hate writing.
It makes me feel like I'm in school. I hate school. I hate this. I hate this diary. I hate this house. I hate--
Whoa... Okkei, just a bit too much negativity on my part.
The Count and I, whom I might add-- put the 'hot' in 'hot' (er... I guess that works), talked for a long
time last night. Try -all night-. By the time we were done talking, I felt like I could saw logs for a week.
And you thought that -I- talked to much. I have nothing on this guy.
Did you know that his house was built on an Indian burial ground? What the hell is up with that? I was so
tired, though, this morning when I went to sleep, that I forgot to be afraid of ghosts and stuff.
I didn't even know there were Indians in Japan. I may have slept through the majority of my history
lessons throughout the school year, but I am pretty much sure that there were never any Indians in
Japan.
He also gave me his entire life story.
Apparently, he's related to all these rich dead people who were related to the last emperor or Japan. It
was a very long speech, though, that's pretty much all I got out of it (can you say "boring"?). Oh! But I
did get some stuff worth knowing!
His name is Chiba Mamoru, and he likes green. He suffered some majour head trauma as a child (it's
fairly obvious, as well) and can't remember a thing until he was about eight or something. Then he knew
some weird little grimlin guy with funky coloured hair, and I don't know about that part. The way he
described that other guy (Flower, Fredrick, Friar, Fiore, Whatever...) made me think he was pretty gay.
Maybe that was due to the fact that he said, "His skin was more smooth than the finest silk".
Eh heh...
Oh, damn. I hope he's not gay. The best guys are all either Mako chan's ex-boyfriends or unbelievably
gay! WAAH!
Yea, well, apparently he likes long-haired blonds that are named after animals (even though he didn't
specify male or female). I have long blond hair! I'm named after an animal! I am -so- his type.
Anyway, I dreamt about him in French, after I went to sleep. It was so odd. I don't even speak French.
It was like this...
We were standing on a balcony, the night sky spotted with small twinkling stars, as he approached me.
"Bonjour, madame." He spoke, so eloquently. (trans: "Hello, miss.")
"Bonjour, monsieur." I replied. (trans: "Hello, sir.")
"Comment allez vous, madame?" He asked. (trans: "How do you do, miss?")
"Quelle est la date de la bataille de Waterloo?" (trans: "What is the date of the battle of Waterloo?") I'm
not quite sure why I asked.
"Il est mort en dix sept cent quinze." (trans: "He died in 1715.") He responded, solemnly.
"Qui?" I asked. (trans: "Who?")
"Les charcutiers vendent du pore. Les bouchers vendent les autres espèces de viande." (trans: "Pork
butchers sell pork. Butchers sell the other kinds of meat.")
"Oh." (trans: "Oh.")
Then he gave me a popsicle.
And that was pretty much it. A pretty strange dream, if you ask me. I wonder if it means something?
Bai bai!
-Usagi
()_()
(^.^)
(")(")
* * * * *
Usagi was nothing short of panicking as she knelt over her open luggage. She had absolutely nothing to
wear! Everything was feminine, and probably too small for her now more masculine frame. Her shoulders
had broadened, and her chest had most certainly flattened. The curves of her hips had also dulled, leaving
her with a still thin waist, and she had extra parts between her legs, which she was slightly uncomfortable
with. All together, she appeared as a more feminine man. If she were to be seen in public, some might
even tease her as a "pretty boy". Or rather simply put, they would call her gay.
The point, however, was far off in Russia by now. So God nudged it back over into Japan with a nine-iron [1]
and the world went on.
The fact that Usagi's entire wardrobe consisted of things she wore as a -girl- formed a slight problem, as
now she was a -boy-. It appeared she wouldn't be able to wear her favourite strappy pink sandals, either.
Needless to say, the blond was now quite profusely pouting.
"This sucks." She muttered.
Suddenly an idea struck her. She could use her mobile phone to call one of her friends to bring her some
of her brother's clothes! She could have them delivered before the day was over.
She snapped out her phone, punching random numbers, only to receive a very loud unwelcoming beep.
'Dammit!' She had forgot to bring her charger so she could keep using her phone. She also had no way to
contact anyone back home. She was stuck without communication!
Slightly wrinkling her nose as she put on the same suit she wore the day before, Usagi slipped out of her
room, through the oval room, and into the small parlor. She glanced around, but for as far as she could
see, there was no telephone, and then she noticed something else.
Aside from the fact that the room lacked a proper calling device, was the fact that there was absolutely
nothing electrical at -all-. All of the lights were candles, gas lamps, and lanterns, and there was absolutely
nothing electronic! No TV, no stereo, no phone, no lamps, nothing! A sudden dread came over the blond
as she stood in silent shock.
Oh yes, she was definately going to have to get this deal over with so she could go back home. Whether
the Count was hot or not, she needed modern devices of convenience. She needed a telephone, a TV, a
computer, a stereo, and there was absolutely nothing of the sort in these rooms she had been given. She
glanced at the door, suddenly. Maybe there was a phone somewhere else in the house?
She winced at the thought of going back down those steps. This shack seemed less stable than a soggy
two-story cardboard box.
She approached the door, reaching for the knob and squealing as the door opened before she could even
touch it. The Count stood there, in the doorway, and blinked.
"Uh... Hi." He blinked again. "Was' up?"
Andrew sweatdropped, "Er... Hello. I was just going to see if you had a phone I might use, you see--"
"Oh, I'm afraid not. We don't have any electricity here." He grimaced slightly, "You see, the power bills
were getting awfully expensive, and... Sorry, we don't have any of that."
"Then how did you call us to begin with?" The blond stepped back, allowing the count to enter the room.
"Pay phone." He spoke very quickly and smiled, "Er, maybe you should ready yourself for dinner, I will
have it sent up immediately."
Andrew nearly groaned, for once in his life he didn't feel like eating. He really needed a phone. Never-the-
less, though, he steadied himself to his bedroom to silently sulk. Why did she ever decide to do this in the
first place? When he re-entered the room, though, he saw that his dinner was fixed and waiting for him to
eat.
'PIZZA! WOO HOO! Finally, something's going right...' He nearly began to drool, seeing the dinner he
had been so graciously delivered.
Sitting himself at the table, he glanced at the Count to see if the other man would join him.
"Aa, I ate earlier... by myself." His eyes twitched lightly as he spoke.
"Why do you eat by yourself?"
The Count blinked, "Bad table manners..." Then whispered under his breath, so that the room's other
occupant couldn't hear, "Not that your's are any better."
'He's probably just antisocial.' Andrew thought, before gorging himself on the fine Italien cuisine before
him.
When his meal was finished, the blond sat himself in the chair across from the handsome Count, and
pulled some papers from his jacket pocket, and began, "So, Chiba san--"
"What did you just call me?"
Two blue eyes blinked under a matt of rather messy blond hair, "Chiba san?"
The Count pondered over this for a moment, "What does that mean?"
Andrew took a moment, at this. What the hell was wrong with this guy? How can you live in Japan for
all of your life, be related to the last emperor, and still not know the language -or- even what the suffix
'san' meant? How do you explain what the suffix 'san' means?
The blond solicitor frowned, deciding that this was indeed not the time for him to teach a lesson on
Japanese, "Mr. Chiba, is that better?"
The dark-haired man leaned back in his chair, thinking. He rolled the title upon his tongue and shook his
head, finally. "No... It's just not..." He moved his arms in an unsure gesture, "-me-." The last word stated
in air-quotes.
Andrew frowned, "Then exactly what are--" he paused to put the last word in air-quotes, as well, "-you-?"
The Count rubbed at his chin, suddenly wish he had something stylish like a goatee to tug on when he
was in -deep thought-. "Well, I've kind of always liked the name 'Batman'." [2]
There was an awkward silence following this statement.
"Er..." The blond blinked, "Wasn't Batman a cartoon?"
"Something slightly mysterious, yet dashing..." The Count continued, still in his deep chain of thought,
"like maybe 'Sir Batman', or maybe... 'Count Batman', or even... 'Lord Batman'! Yes, that's it! I shall be
'Lord Batman'!"
There was a rather heavy sweatdrop pressing upon Andrew's skull at the moment, "Okkei... -Lord
Batman-..."
'Lord Batman' smiled contentedly.
The blue-eyed boy coughed and began again, "About this apartment you wish to purchase--"
"Yes, tell me about the neighbourhood, won't you?"
"Er..." Andrew thought for a moment, "Well, I've never really been there, myself. Though, my friend Rei
says she gets a lot of 'bad vibes' from around there--"
"Yes, and tell me about your friend Rei?"
"Well, she's about my height, long black hair, works at a temple--"
"Yes, and tell me about this temple?"
"Well, It's a Shinto temple, where she's working to become a preistess. She's really amazing with fire--"
"Yes, and tell me about this fire?"
Andrew sighed, long and deep. He raised a hand to rub at his temples. It was going to be a very long
night.
* * * * *
To Be Continued...
* * * * *
Notes--
[1] Does anyone else ever have mental images of God playing golf?
[2] This is where you're supposed to be picturing vampire-Mamoru sitting in a large black chair, dressed
in (assumably) black, with a sort of wicked glint in his eyes, and looking as if in thought. Oh yes. He could
-so- be Batman. :)
* * * * *
Next Chapter--
Makoto, Ami, Mina, and Rei exchange letters over the happenings elsewhere in Japan.
* * * * *
[ Originally Drafted and Posted = 5 April 2003 ]