Golden Fantasy VIII

Prologue: So she's making a parody…

Speech format:

name of character, underlined (how they're speaking/writing in brackets next to the character name)

speech
Thoughts and whispers in (brackets)

Stuff flashing across the middle of the screen will be centered

What's happening in [straight brackets]

Author *cough*programmer*cough* comments in {fancy brackets}

FMV sequence {yep, on a GBA. don't ask how.} in italics

Clickable and stuff that in the game had [brackets] around them in bold (I know that parts of the opening FMV sequence are in bold.. I tried to take out the bold-ness. I really did.)

Everything in between the * * * * * start * * * * * and * * * * * end * * * * * tags are part of the story

* * * * * start * * * * *

[The Golden Sun cast is lounging around in Character Compression (it's where all the fanfiction characters hang out when they're not acting out fanfiction, ya know?) when Miss Black Dragon pops up randomly and hands out scripts.]

Miss Black Dragon (hereafter known as Car)
Guess what? I'm writing a Golden Fantasy VIII parody. In other words, a parody of Final Fantasy VIII (hereafter referred to as FF8) with you guys as the main characters. Programming starts tomorrow, haaaaaaaave fun!

[Car leaves, also by popping down randomly. The Golden Sun cast take their scripts.]

Isaac(writing on a dry erase board in Jupiter purple)
I'm Squall Leonhart!

Mia
Neat! I'm Rinoa. Heheheh…

[Ivan glances down at his sheet.]

Ivan
YES! I'm LAGUNA LOIRE! In the past, anyway!

[Ivan starts to paaaaaartay]

Mia
Oh, I've been double casted… I'm Rinoa AND Julia Heartilly. I suppose it's a good thing Julia's dead in the present part of the game.

[Ivan goes starry eyed, and darts over to Mia.]

Ivan
YOU'RE Julia? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Mia
O.o;; OKay…

Alex
I'm Seifer. Figures. Especially since Karst is Edea, Menardi is Ultimecia, and Mia's Rinoa…

[Most of the cast cringes sympathetically, and Alex looks at his script again.]

Alex
Hang on a sec.. I've got lackeys!

Felix
I'm playing Raijin. _

Sheba (who has already skim-read her script)
FUUJIN.

Alex
Obviously I have the lackeys of very little words.

Sheba
¬_¬ RAGE!

[Sheba kicks Alex in the shins.]

Felix
0_o;; She's already acting in character…

[Ivan looks at his script yet again.]

Ivan
I have the lackeys of immense strength!

[Ivan points at Sean and Ouranos, who are playing Ward and Kiros respectively]

Sean
So we answer to a Jupiter little wimp…

Ivan
Don't worry, I get aged about twelve years forward. Heh, I must be hot…

Mia
I have the lackeys of… Mercury.

[Mia points to Justin and Megan, playing Watts and Zone respectively]

Megan (who isn't actually acting)
Owwww.. Stomach cramp…

Garet
I'm playing Irvine… Forget the lackeys, I get the ladies.

[Garet smiles, and makes a 'come here' gesture. Mia, Jenna, and Feizhi come over and hug him.]

Garet
Heheheheh…

Feizhi
I am playing Quistis. I always knew I should be a teacher.

Hsu
And I am playing Zell. Finally, an authoress who appreciates my kung fu skills.

[Jenna is staring horrified at her script]

Jenna
I'm playing.. Selphie… NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

All except Jenna
Huh?

[Jenna starts crying]

Jenna
I have to get my hair cut and curled! I have to wear YELLOW! Yellow is not my colour, yellow is not my colour!!!

[The cast starts laughing at her]

Mia
I need to get a haircut, and some streaks.

Feizhi
I like my hair long…

Sheba
HAIRCUT. EYE PATCH.

Felix
(She's creepy… Why did I ever jump off the Lighthouse for her?)

Sheba
RAGE!

[Sheba kicks Felix in the shins, causing most of the cast to quickly get away from her]

Kraden
I'm playing Cid Kramer!

[Kraden starts ranting. That makes two people being avoided by the general cast.]

Karst
I'm playing Edea.. Why do I have to be the one to team up with the KerneLs and wear the creepy mask?

Menardi
At least you don't have to talk with K's for every C. I'm playing Ultimecia.

Karst
True.

[Karst shrugs, and looks over at Agatio and Saturos.]

Karst
Who're you guys playing?

Agatio
Um.. The President of Galbadia.

[The cast starts laughing at him, and he slinks off into a corner.]

Agatio
(it's not fair… it's not fair i tell you.. it's not flipping fair… flip? since when do i say flip?)

Saturos
I play.. Oh, Mars, this isn't fair…

Rest of cast
Hmm?

[everyone crowds over to look at Saturos's script. Scrawled across the top of it is the word "Biggs".]

Saturos (mournfully)
And Agatio was double casted as Wedge..

[the cast laughs again.]

Picard
I'm playing General Caraway…

Mia
What is your last name, anyway? We have to call you General something…

Picard (calmly)
Oronrá.

[the cast STARES at him. Garet's sister, Kay, breaks the silence with a cry of…]

Kay
I'm playing ELLONE!

[Ivan stares mortified at her.]

Ivan (slowly)
You're playing………Ellone?

[Kay glares.]

Kay
Look, if you're being aged forward, there's no reason I can't be aged backwards AND forwards, got it?

[Garet snickers at the look on Ivan's face.]

Ivan
Hang on a sec… Who's playing Raine?

[Kay shrugs.]

Kay
Dunno. Heard an aged backward Lady McCoy's playing Xu, though.

[the cast sniggers, all muttering "Suits her."]

* * * * * end * * * * *

A quick rundown of who's who, in case (you probably did) you forgot, in order of appearance…
(comments in brackets. The last names are made up by moi, except for Glaven [Akiko], Jerra, and Hammet [both from the game]. The ones I got stuck on are actually from the Elvish Name Generator…)

People:
Isaac Birchwood = Squall Leonhart
Mia Krescien = Rinoa Heartilly, Julia Heartilly
Karst = Sorceress Edea
Alex Glaven = Seifer
Vale Sanctum Great Healer = Dr. Kadowaki
Kay Jerra = Ellone Loire
Feizhi Chang = Quistis Trepe
Random people = Trepies (called Changies here)
Jenna Kambridge = Selphie Tilmitt
Hsu Lee = Zell Dincht
Lady McCoy = Xu
Kraden = Headmaster Cid
Felix Kambridge = Raijin
Sheba Vossenn = Fuujin
Saturos = Biggs
Agatio = Wedge, Galbadian President
Ivan Hammet = Laguna Loire
Sean Dorthonien = Ward
Ouranos Loscalyn = Kiros
Megan Inwye = Zone
Justin Inwye = Watts
Garet Jerra = Irvine Kinneas

Picard Oronrá = General Caraway

? = Raine Loire
(I think that's everyone… All the main characters, anyway.. Will add more as I go along…)

GFs:
Procne = Quezacotl
Boreas = Shiva
Kirin's rider and Meteor = Ifrit *holds up a sign that says "Don't ask…"*
Nereid = Siren
Judgment = Diablos *snicker, snicker*
Ramses and Cybele = Sacred and Minotaur (Brothers)
Kirin = Carbuncle *snicker, snicker*
(I'll probably run out of summons to play the GFs, but that's OKay – I can always dip into GS2:TLA combo tablet summons…)