Confusion

By: Lynn

Summary: See Chapter 1

Rating: R

Disclaimer: The usual.

A/N: Sorry it's been awhile!  Also, this chapter is considerably more racy than the previous ones, as well as more than my other stories.  Therefore, I upped the rating a little bit, and I would also really appreciate reviews on the story itself, as well as specifically on this chapter.

Chapter 6

"What?" Spike asked, his voice embarrassingly going a few octaves higher as he stood up, unconsciously backing away from his mother.

Lady Carlisle stood as well, putting her needlepoint down on the table next to her chair.

"Who are you, and what have you done with my son? I don't understand. You look like him, sound like him…feel like him, but there's also something indescribably different, too."

Spike looked down at his mother, seeing the confusion and hurt and fear in her eyes.  He knew right then and there that he would never and could never lie to her about this.  Yes, he had lied to her before when he was alive, but he couldn't about this.  She saw something he never expected her to see.  And she was so afraid that something was wrong with her son.  He couldn't lie to her, even if he was the only one who would ever know that he did.

"Mother. I am William.  But you are right – there is something different. Please, sit down."

She did so warily, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time.

And he told his story.

Throughout the entire story, she never said a word. Her eyes grew wide a few times, but she calmly listened.

At the end, she had one thing to say:  "Prove it."

Spike vamped out.  And, to his utter shock, she did not faint. She merely reached out her hand and touched his ridges. 

"My boy…"  Standing up, she drew him into a hug.  "I'm so sorry for you.  I'm sorry you had such pain in your life, but I'm so proud of you for trying to make it better.  I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you changed.  I love you so much."

Drawing away from her, yet still holding her in his arms, Spike looked at Lady Carlisle, confused.

"Why are you taking this so well, Mother?  Why didn't you faint?  Why aren't you asking more questions?"

"Well, I have a little secret for you as well, my son."  She winked at him and sat back down in her chair.  "A long time ago, my mother had a sister.  Adrienne died long before I was born, but my mother told me many things about her.  Including that she was a Slayer."

                                    *                      *                      *

Buffy jerked awake, groaning as she felt her muscles protest about the uncomfortable position she was sleeping in on the couch.  Looking over, she saw that William, even in his sleep a perfect gentleman, was taking up as small a section of the couch as possible, saving the rest for Buffy.  She smiled as she remembered the night before.  After telling William about Spike, she asked him about William.  Although she had heard the story of his life from Spike, it was refreshing to hear it from William.  Spike had been disgusted with his human self and the weakness he saw.  But William showed Buffy the man that Spike truly was – a passionate, caring man, who only wanted to find someone to shower love upon.  He had talked at length about his mother, who sounded to Buffy a lot like her own.  He talked about his studies, his poems – which, after he had recited some to her, she did have to admit were bad. 

Most of all he had talked about his hopes and dreams.  Listening to them, Buffy felt very sad for William, knowing he would never achieve them.  However, they also made Buffy sad for herself – she felt that she could very easily love this man, yet he wouldn't love her until he was Spike, a vampire she couldn't bring herself to love.  How ironic was that?

William stirred, bringing Buffy out of her troubling thoughts.  Opening his eyes, he looked over at her and smiled. 

"Good morning, Buffy."  Over the course of their hours-long conversation, she finally got him to stop calling her Miss Summers.  William stretched, then ran his hands through his tousled hair.  Standing up and walking toward the window, Buffy was about to shout a warning when she remembered the sun wouldn't hurt William.  He flung open the drapes, filling the room with bright, cheerful light.

God, Spike would be so beautiful in the sun…Buffy sat up straight, guilt and confusion at the thought, desperately trying to think of a justification.  Well, I've just spent the night thinking about how I could love William, who…is Spike…and just because I find William and Spike attractive, doesn't mean that I could love Spike.  It's merely an appreciation of his physical features.  Yeah…That's right.

Turning around, William looked at the girl he had come to know quite well.  Smiling at how beautiful she was with her rumpled clothes and hair, he began to feel a familiar stirring in his groin.  Turning quickly around again, his eyes grew wide as he tried to think of other things.  It was improper for him to think about Buffy like that – or any woman for that matter.  It's just she dressed so differently than the women of his time, as well as having so much more confidence than them.  She had been the first woman, besides his mother, that he had opened up to so completely.  Of course, that would make him feel close to her.

But that's no reason to have impure thoughts, William!!

William closed his eyes and began to think of the calculus he was learning at school.  It worked.  He took a deep breath, composing himself before turning around again.  To see Buffy standing and stretching, her shirt inching up to expose her flat stomach.  William groaned inwardly…it was a battle he could not win.

                                                *                      *                      *

Spike and his mother talked for hours, as she got to know the vampire her son had become, and he learned of the strength he never knew she possessed.  Finally, he told her about meeting Edward, George and Victoria, as well of his recent conversation with Victoria.  Agreeing it was a good idea, she called for the servants to clear the furniture and breakable items out of the dining room, effectively making a gym.

"It's a good thing your father will be gone for awhile.  I don't know how we'd explain this to him."

Spike smiled down at his mother, reached out and pulled her into an embrace.

"Thank you for everything."

Lady Carlisle pulled back.

"William, you are my son.  You don't even need to ask for my help.  It's yours for the taking."

  Giving her a quick peck on the cheek, he bounded up the stairs to his room, to change into more appropriate fighting clothes.  Only minutes later, Nora knocked at the door to announce a lady visitor for William.  Thanking her, he raced down the stairs to show Victoria to the dining room.

As she took off her coat, William started shaking his head.

"No, no, no.  That outfit will never do.  I'll never understand how women could even move in those layers of skirts.  First, you learn to fight…then, you learn to fight with…those…on."  Spike brought her up to William's room, chose clothes for her, then waited in the hall for her to change.

Back downstairs, he told her that he wanted to start her with hand-to-hand combat.  The dirtiest street fighting would help her against a vampire more than knowledge of sword fighting and the like would.  Grabbing her limbs, he started positioning her body as if she were clay, showing her how she should move.  After a few minutes, he noticed her embarrassment and discomfort.

"What's wrong?"

Victoria looked down, blushing. "Forgive me, Spike.  I've…ah…never…been, um, touched by a man like that before."

Spike gaped at her.  "I just touched your waist."

Victoria's head went further down, which Spike hadn't thought possible.  "I know."  Her voice was so quiet Spike doubted he would have been able to hear it without his enhanced vampire senses.

"I forgot how restricted this society was. Please, forgive me, Victoria.  I can teach you something different, if you'd prefer."

"NO!"  Victoria looked up, wide-eyed.  Then blushed again.  "I mean, I can tell that this is important for me to learn.  Besides… I kind of liked it…" She looked Spike in the eye, as both of them smiled at each other.

"Well, then.  Let's continue, shall we, luv?"

                                                *                      *                      *

Buffy tilted her head back, relishing the feel of the warm water falling on her from the showerhead.  Hearing the door open, she jumped, startled.  Wiping the fogged-up glass, she looked out into the bathroom, heart quickening as she saw William removing his clothes.  She stared at him as he opened the shower door, stepping into it with her.  Looking him up and down, she gulped.  Pulling her into his arms, he started kissing her neck, face and lips, as his fingers traced circles on her spine.  Buffy sighed with contentment. 

"I love you, Buffy."

"I love you, too, Spike." Buffy's eyes grew wide.  What did that mean, and why had it slipped out of her mouth?  Pulling back to determine William's reaction, she found herself looking at the smiling face of Spike.

"What the…?"
            Buffy flew up into a sitting position from where she had fallen asleep earlier that afternoon.  Heart racing, she slowly laid back down on the bed.  Trying to calm down, she also was desperately trying to ignore how right the dream had felt.