Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the lyrics (however much I might
want to), they belong to J.K. and Matchbox Twenty respectively. So no suey.
I do, however, own the plot, so no touchy.
A.N: In case you thought I was joking on the summary, this will contain slash (male/male relationships) so if that offends please read no further. Rated for a little bit of language and implied sexual activity. This is my first published fic, so please review!! Recommended listening: Disease by Matchbox Twenty (surprise surprise). Or just the whole album (More Than You Think You Are).
Disease
"Damn!" Draco sliced into his finger for about the fifth time that Potions lesson. They were supposed to be dicing Gillyweed, but Draco was distracted. Harry smirked as he heard the other Draco cursing. He'd been aware of the other boy's eyes on him almost all lesson, it wasn't surprising he was practically cutting all his fingers off. Harry wondered for a moment if he was being a little too cruel to Draco, leading him along like this, but quickly dismissed the thought. Draco owed it to him. The year before, Harry had saved Draco's life in his final confrontation with Voldemort, in which Harry had finally destroyed his oldest enemy. The experience had changed both boys noticeably. Unfortunately it was only Draco who changed for the better.
--Feels like you made a mistake You made somebody's heart break-
Draco's mind wandered back to a couple of nights before. Harry had told him, yet again, that it could never work, and that it was for the best. Everytime Draco expected it and yet the pain was always just as bad.
--But now I have to let you go I have to let you go-
Everytime he picked himself up, inspected his new bruises, and tried to start getting over Harry. He would carry on, just barely surviving, for a few days, maybe a week, before he would either run back to Harry, or, the few times Draco had managed to resist, Harry would corner him and he would just give in.
--You left a stain on every one of my good days But I am stronger than you know I have to let you go-
Draco tore his eyes and mind away from Harry. It was the end of the lesson. He packed his things away and trudged out into the corridor, to face another day of living without Harry.
--No-one's ever turned you over, no-one's tried To ever let you down Beautiful boy, bless your heart-
Harry watched Draco, a small smile lingering on his features. Would it be tomorrow or the next day, or even today, that Draco came running back like a well-trained puppy? Admittedly, there had been a few occasions where he'd had to hurry things along a little, but they weren't nearly as much fun. Harry hoped that Draco wouldn't let him down this time.
--I've got a disease Deep inside me, makes me feel uneasy, baby--
Lying on his bed in his room, Draco wrestled with his feelings. Every part of him ached for Harry, yet he was trying desperately not to give in and go to him. The arguments batted back and forth in his head for nearly an hour - it happened so often he had begun to feel as though he was just a spectator to it. Tears of frustration slid down his pale face as he got up, grabbed his Invisibility cloak and slammed from his room.
--I can't live without you, tell me What am I supposed to do about it?-
Harry looked up, feigning surprise as Draco walked into the room, looking even paler than usual, and with just-drying tear tracks clearly visible. "I can't do this, I can't do this, why are you doing this to me? I just love you and it all hurts so much, please just tell me why." Draco trailed off as fresh tears splashed onto the toes of his shoes. "Draco.." Draco looked up half hopefully and half fearfully at the soothing tone in Harry's voice. Harry stood up and made his way carefully across the space between them. He placed his hands lightly on the other boy's forearms. "It'll be ok.." he whispered as he drew nearer. Draco's grey eyes betrayed an inner struggle as Harry stared into them. He dipped his head to place a kiss on Draco's lips, but Draco suddenly pushed Harry away.
--Keep your distance from it; don't pay no attention to me I got a disease, yeah well I think that I'm sick But leave me be while my world is coming down on me-
"I can't keep giving in to you like this!" he yelled as tears spilled down his face for the third time that evening. He sat down on the bed with his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly with his sobbing. Harry regarded him with no outward sign of emotion. "Why not, Draco?" he said tenderly. Hearing his love say his name like that brought forth more sobs from Draco. "Because it's killing me." he replied quietly. Harry moved towards him again, and sat down cautiously on the bed next to him. The haunted grey eyes turned up to meet his. Harry gently trailed one finger down the side of Draco's face, and felt the blond's whole body shiver for a moment and then relax. He slid his finger under Draco's chin and tipped his head up as he leaned in for the kiss. This time he met with no resistance, and he softly pressed his lips to Draco's. For a couple of seconds he remained there, and then he smoothly parted Draco's lips with his tongue. In Draco's mind he was falling through space as the kiss deepened. Feeling Harry's lips and tongue caressing his own was soothing balm on an aching wound.
--You taste like honey, honey Tell me can I be your honey?-
Harry's hands pushed against his shoulders, forcing him down onto the bed. He felt his robe being deftly removed, and Harry's hands sliding up underneath his T-shirt. He opened his eyes as Harry broke off the kiss momentarily, and saw blazing green eyes, as always burning an imprint onto his mind. Then Harry's mouth covered his own again, and he descended into a dizzy whorl of confusion mixed with an intense desire. A couple of hours later as Draco lay curled up with his head resting on his love's smooth, bare chest, he waited for the inevitable fallout that always followed his all-too-brief encounters with Harry. And sure enough, about ten minutes later Harry slid Draco's head off his chest and sat up. Draco sat up next to him and looked at him steadily. Then, just as Harry opened his mouth to speak, Draco placed his hand over it, his grey eyes turning silver with quiet anger. "You know what, Harry? Fuck you. I can't stand you screwing me around like this. And I've got to stop it. So I don't know how many times I'll give in to you before it happens, but one day I will be free of you." He stood up, feeling a little dizzy from his emotional outburst, and quickly dressed. He opened the door and walked into the corridor, leaving Harry sitting naked and open-mouthed in the bed. And for the first time in almost six months, he felt a tiny burst of freedom.
--Be, be strong, keep telling myself that it won't take long till I'm free of my disease Set me free of my disease--
A.N: In case you thought I was joking on the summary, this will contain slash (male/male relationships) so if that offends please read no further. Rated for a little bit of language and implied sexual activity. This is my first published fic, so please review!! Recommended listening: Disease by Matchbox Twenty (surprise surprise). Or just the whole album (More Than You Think You Are).
Disease
"Damn!" Draco sliced into his finger for about the fifth time that Potions lesson. They were supposed to be dicing Gillyweed, but Draco was distracted. Harry smirked as he heard the other Draco cursing. He'd been aware of the other boy's eyes on him almost all lesson, it wasn't surprising he was practically cutting all his fingers off. Harry wondered for a moment if he was being a little too cruel to Draco, leading him along like this, but quickly dismissed the thought. Draco owed it to him. The year before, Harry had saved Draco's life in his final confrontation with Voldemort, in which Harry had finally destroyed his oldest enemy. The experience had changed both boys noticeably. Unfortunately it was only Draco who changed for the better.
--Feels like you made a mistake You made somebody's heart break-
Draco's mind wandered back to a couple of nights before. Harry had told him, yet again, that it could never work, and that it was for the best. Everytime Draco expected it and yet the pain was always just as bad.
--But now I have to let you go I have to let you go-
Everytime he picked himself up, inspected his new bruises, and tried to start getting over Harry. He would carry on, just barely surviving, for a few days, maybe a week, before he would either run back to Harry, or, the few times Draco had managed to resist, Harry would corner him and he would just give in.
--You left a stain on every one of my good days But I am stronger than you know I have to let you go-
Draco tore his eyes and mind away from Harry. It was the end of the lesson. He packed his things away and trudged out into the corridor, to face another day of living without Harry.
--No-one's ever turned you over, no-one's tried To ever let you down Beautiful boy, bless your heart-
Harry watched Draco, a small smile lingering on his features. Would it be tomorrow or the next day, or even today, that Draco came running back like a well-trained puppy? Admittedly, there had been a few occasions where he'd had to hurry things along a little, but they weren't nearly as much fun. Harry hoped that Draco wouldn't let him down this time.
--I've got a disease Deep inside me, makes me feel uneasy, baby--
Lying on his bed in his room, Draco wrestled with his feelings. Every part of him ached for Harry, yet he was trying desperately not to give in and go to him. The arguments batted back and forth in his head for nearly an hour - it happened so often he had begun to feel as though he was just a spectator to it. Tears of frustration slid down his pale face as he got up, grabbed his Invisibility cloak and slammed from his room.
--I can't live without you, tell me What am I supposed to do about it?-
Harry looked up, feigning surprise as Draco walked into the room, looking even paler than usual, and with just-drying tear tracks clearly visible. "I can't do this, I can't do this, why are you doing this to me? I just love you and it all hurts so much, please just tell me why." Draco trailed off as fresh tears splashed onto the toes of his shoes. "Draco.." Draco looked up half hopefully and half fearfully at the soothing tone in Harry's voice. Harry stood up and made his way carefully across the space between them. He placed his hands lightly on the other boy's forearms. "It'll be ok.." he whispered as he drew nearer. Draco's grey eyes betrayed an inner struggle as Harry stared into them. He dipped his head to place a kiss on Draco's lips, but Draco suddenly pushed Harry away.
--Keep your distance from it; don't pay no attention to me I got a disease, yeah well I think that I'm sick But leave me be while my world is coming down on me-
"I can't keep giving in to you like this!" he yelled as tears spilled down his face for the third time that evening. He sat down on the bed with his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly with his sobbing. Harry regarded him with no outward sign of emotion. "Why not, Draco?" he said tenderly. Hearing his love say his name like that brought forth more sobs from Draco. "Because it's killing me." he replied quietly. Harry moved towards him again, and sat down cautiously on the bed next to him. The haunted grey eyes turned up to meet his. Harry gently trailed one finger down the side of Draco's face, and felt the blond's whole body shiver for a moment and then relax. He slid his finger under Draco's chin and tipped his head up as he leaned in for the kiss. This time he met with no resistance, and he softly pressed his lips to Draco's. For a couple of seconds he remained there, and then he smoothly parted Draco's lips with his tongue. In Draco's mind he was falling through space as the kiss deepened. Feeling Harry's lips and tongue caressing his own was soothing balm on an aching wound.
--You taste like honey, honey Tell me can I be your honey?-
Harry's hands pushed against his shoulders, forcing him down onto the bed. He felt his robe being deftly removed, and Harry's hands sliding up underneath his T-shirt. He opened his eyes as Harry broke off the kiss momentarily, and saw blazing green eyes, as always burning an imprint onto his mind. Then Harry's mouth covered his own again, and he descended into a dizzy whorl of confusion mixed with an intense desire. A couple of hours later as Draco lay curled up with his head resting on his love's smooth, bare chest, he waited for the inevitable fallout that always followed his all-too-brief encounters with Harry. And sure enough, about ten minutes later Harry slid Draco's head off his chest and sat up. Draco sat up next to him and looked at him steadily. Then, just as Harry opened his mouth to speak, Draco placed his hand over it, his grey eyes turning silver with quiet anger. "You know what, Harry? Fuck you. I can't stand you screwing me around like this. And I've got to stop it. So I don't know how many times I'll give in to you before it happens, but one day I will be free of you." He stood up, feeling a little dizzy from his emotional outburst, and quickly dressed. He opened the door and walked into the corridor, leaving Harry sitting naked and open-mouthed in the bed. And for the first time in almost six months, he felt a tiny burst of freedom.
--Be, be strong, keep telling myself that it won't take long till I'm free of my disease Set me free of my disease--