A/N: Felt like writing, so wrote a one-parter on Lorelai. As for my other
GG fic from forever ago, I'm just going to drop it, seeing as I had the
realization that I can not do any good with writing chapter stories. At
all. Whatsoever. Figured I would state something about that, because I'm
still getting E-mail about it. :-)
Be careful, there ARE some spoilers, so if you don't want to know, wait until after the 20th episode.
***********************************
Luke.
It's always been about him, everything, whether I care to admit it or not. Even the most mundane things boil down to him.
Hee. Mundane. Danes. See? It's hard to avoid.
So, sitting here, on my couch, in my living room, that's in my house, on my land, all I can do is find things that remind me of him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some love-sick teenager, although I may as well be. Luke... I don't know, he's my best friend. He's complicated. Annoying. Way too heath conscience. And that's what is so great about him. He's different from everyone else here; something that separates him from everyone else.
Ack. It doesn't matter. Luke's my friend, and he will always be my friend, nothing more. I have Alex. He has Nicole. And as much as something stirs me up about her, I'm not going to say anything because it makes him happy. That's all I want; For him to be happy.
Sad thing is, I'm not sure he is happy. For about an hour after forever, all I hear is people telling me how much he loves me. How we should be together. Blah, Blah, Blah. And it's not like I don't hear them, I do. I just don't want to ruin our friendship. I think people just assume I'm too dumb to understand what they are trying to tell me, but it's bigger than that. My big fear is that I'm not ready for a commitment, and I'll run out on him like everyone else.
But, he's different. If I ran out on him, I would lose something. Everything, for that matter. And I'm not prepared to take that step that could potentially hurt everyone involved.
I did almost come around, though. Right before Nicole came, I thought, 'Gee, maybe I am ready'. But then she DID come, and then he DID bring her to the inn and he DID ask for a room. With her. Not that I blame him, I did let him watch as I went out with guy after guy, not once considering him to be the next. I was protecting him. I didn't want him to be one of the guys I went out with. I wanted him to be THE guy I went out with.
And it's weird. Lately, when he bicker at each other, it's not the cutesy, flirty type. It's mean. More urgent. We both know what we want, but we have this unspoken, cloak-and-dagger type agreement that we don't even know if the other one knows. Don't get it? I'll help you:
Cutesy, Flirty type (Without all the bullshit it's masquerade in) :
Lorelai: I'm not ready.
Luke: Who said I was?
Lorelai: But, I'm waiting.
Luke: Who said I was?
Lorelai: I did.
Luke: Ok then, I'll wait some more, even though I am ready.
Mean Urgent type (Again, with out the bullshit):
Luke: I don't want to wait.
Lorelai: Who said anything about waiting?
Luke: Lorelai...
Lorelai: Luke..
Luke: Make up your mind.
Lorelai: I can't.
And that is what our conversations basically say to each other. Again, lately, they have fallen into the latter category.
So, we are still in the game, someone is pining, someone is pushing it in the other's face, and we seem to play the game so well. But, there is just something about him that makes me want to take HIM out, but also makes me want to take him OUT. There's a difference.
Be careful, there ARE some spoilers, so if you don't want to know, wait until after the 20th episode.
***********************************
Luke.
It's always been about him, everything, whether I care to admit it or not. Even the most mundane things boil down to him.
Hee. Mundane. Danes. See? It's hard to avoid.
So, sitting here, on my couch, in my living room, that's in my house, on my land, all I can do is find things that remind me of him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some love-sick teenager, although I may as well be. Luke... I don't know, he's my best friend. He's complicated. Annoying. Way too heath conscience. And that's what is so great about him. He's different from everyone else here; something that separates him from everyone else.
Ack. It doesn't matter. Luke's my friend, and he will always be my friend, nothing more. I have Alex. He has Nicole. And as much as something stirs me up about her, I'm not going to say anything because it makes him happy. That's all I want; For him to be happy.
Sad thing is, I'm not sure he is happy. For about an hour after forever, all I hear is people telling me how much he loves me. How we should be together. Blah, Blah, Blah. And it's not like I don't hear them, I do. I just don't want to ruin our friendship. I think people just assume I'm too dumb to understand what they are trying to tell me, but it's bigger than that. My big fear is that I'm not ready for a commitment, and I'll run out on him like everyone else.
But, he's different. If I ran out on him, I would lose something. Everything, for that matter. And I'm not prepared to take that step that could potentially hurt everyone involved.
I did almost come around, though. Right before Nicole came, I thought, 'Gee, maybe I am ready'. But then she DID come, and then he DID bring her to the inn and he DID ask for a room. With her. Not that I blame him, I did let him watch as I went out with guy after guy, not once considering him to be the next. I was protecting him. I didn't want him to be one of the guys I went out with. I wanted him to be THE guy I went out with.
And it's weird. Lately, when he bicker at each other, it's not the cutesy, flirty type. It's mean. More urgent. We both know what we want, but we have this unspoken, cloak-and-dagger type agreement that we don't even know if the other one knows. Don't get it? I'll help you:
Cutesy, Flirty type (Without all the bullshit it's masquerade in) :
Lorelai: I'm not ready.
Luke: Who said I was?
Lorelai: But, I'm waiting.
Luke: Who said I was?
Lorelai: I did.
Luke: Ok then, I'll wait some more, even though I am ready.
Mean Urgent type (Again, with out the bullshit):
Luke: I don't want to wait.
Lorelai: Who said anything about waiting?
Luke: Lorelai...
Lorelai: Luke..
Luke: Make up your mind.
Lorelai: I can't.
And that is what our conversations basically say to each other. Again, lately, they have fallen into the latter category.
So, we are still in the game, someone is pining, someone is pushing it in the other's face, and we seem to play the game so well. But, there is just something about him that makes me want to take HIM out, but also makes me want to take him OUT. There's a difference.