Chapter9

She hung up the phone. I can't believe I was so stupid! I was so surprised to hear her voice that I actually lost control. I can't believe I made her so angry. She was worried about me and I practically told her that she wasn't important.

Why do I always get lost around her? She gave me another chance and I ruined it all. She will never want to talk to me again. Why didn't I tell her that I was happy to hear her voice? Why didn't I tell her that I was sad that she was with Jess?

Now, what should I do?

T: Hi Paris

P: Hello Tristan. What's wrong?

T: Oh Paris I made a mistake and I don't know how to put things right!

P: Rory?

T: Yes. She phoned me and I treated her like I didn't care. Like she was a nuisance. But the truth was that I was speechless. I didn't trust myself to say anything. I feel so stupid

P: Tristan, can you imagine how much it cost to Rory to pick up a phone and call you?

T: Don't make me feel worst than I already feel

P: Well Tristan, you're pretty good to mess up things with her

T: What can I do? Shall I write her a letter?

P: I don't think that would be enough. But you can write the letter and I can talk to her. I guess between the two of us we should sort things out.

T: Thank you Paris. Thank you so much.

P: It's ok. What are friends for?

T: You are a good friend Paris. I'll remember this. I'll talk to you soon

I hope that Paris will succeed. I'm so scared that she'll never forgive me. What will I do? I need to come back! Why does my father have to wait so much before telling me to come back? What if I come back and Rory will not want me?

I cannot live that life without her.

No. I'll not think about that. She will forgive me.

Dear Rory,

I'm so so so sorry about the phone call. I was surprised that you called me and I couldn't think about anything funny or clever to say. You mean so much to me that I don't know how to express myself. I'm sure you know that I care about you. That you're important to me.

Rory I'm asking for another chance. I know you've already given one and I ruined all. But please understand me. It was a long time since I've heard your voice and by letter it seems all so easy. We don't look at each other and I thought it was a good start. No innuendo, no smirks, no arguments. I just wanted to take it easy to make us at easy with each other.

I'm so sorry if you thought that you're not important. The poem I wrote in the letter it meant a lot to me. I wanted to tell you that I was sad because you weren't with me. Because I needed you but you belonged to someone else. I know that you care for Jess but I hope you care for me too.

Please, all I ask is another chance.

To Mary

I sleep with thee, and wake with thee,

And yet thou art not there;

I fill my arms with thoughts of thee,

And press the common air.

Thy eyes are gazing upon mine

When thou art out of sight;

My lips are always touching thine

At morning, noon, and night.

I think and speak of other things

To keep my mind at rest,

But still to thee my memory clings

Like love in woman's breast.

I hide it from the world's wide eye

And think and speak contrary,

But soft the wind comes from the sky

And whispers tales of Mary.

The night-wind whispers in my ear,

The moon shines on my face;

The burden still of chilling fear

I find in every place.

The breeze is whispering in the bush,

And the leaves fall from the tree,

All sighing on, and will not hush,

Some pleasant tales of thee.*

Please forgive me.

Love, Tristan

AN: * written by John Clare.

I just wanted to say that I know there are tons of trory stories and that there are people who think that Rory never liked Tristan and he is not important. But still if there are so many of us who think that he is important that must mean something. I will always be a Trory fan and I'll never give up the hope that he'll be back.