Cold Feathers

Chapter 4

" Tsu Yen! Rachel!" I called.

The two angels coughed.

" Elgh," Rachel made a silent grimace. " Sugar."
" So the young Seraph heard too, eh?" Tsu Yen smiled. " Time to shine, Syaoran! The demons are just within your reach. Now all you have to do is tell Sakura."
" All at the wrong time." I muttered. " Sakura's sick and I can't cure her-otherwise everyone will wonder how she healed so quickly."
" As much as they will wonder at your skin? I doubt it." Rachel answered. " Come along, we'll just call Nadeshiko and let her take care of the job. Nadeshiko!"

Nadeshiko materialized into view with a swirl and I almost felt dizzy watching her. She sighed.
" Blasted sorcerors." She muttered. " Oh, about my daughter? I'll take care of her. You three just go and do with the demons as you like."
" Chop them into pieces." Rachel nodded.
" Maybe make them wear flowers. It would be so hilarious." Tsu Yen volunteered.

I cocked an eyebrow. " You two seem awfully happy today."
" That's what happens when you live in the joyous land long enough. You'll see." Tsu Yen smiled. I laughed.
" Gee, I look forward to that."
" Come along, Mr. Punctual. Let us have some fun with the demons while Nadeshiko does her work. And Nadeshiko," Rachel became very strict. " Keep that trap shut."

Nadeshiko rolled her eyes. " It's not like Sakura can see me, anyway."
" Just make sure you don't tell your mother." Rachel rolled her eyes this time, and we parted.



" So what did you call us for?" Tsu Yen asked.
" I need your help. Rachel is good at playing with dark magic. I need her to do something to distract the demons so they stay here for a long while, and I need you to create a barrier so the demons can't get out."
" A barrier? How big?"
" Really big. Fifty square acres."
" That's a lot." Tsu Yen looked troubled. " No wonder you called. I'll need your help. Especially since this is the mortal world and I am liable to allergies."

I chuckled. " Ah Tsu Yen, always the clown up there. Nevertheless I'll need your help anyway."
" I'll do something about the Dark Magic." Rachel agreed. " But I'm afraid I have lost my touch. When I was alive I was skillful in that art. Now as an angel..."
" Don't worry." I assured her. " You'll be fine. Now, Tsu Yen, shall we?"



Fifty acres is a large area even for an angel like Tsu Yen, who was faster than Yue and far more nimble. He managed to cover around three quarters while I did the last quarter. Surprisingly enough I had no grudge against how efficiently he worked and how useless I seemed.

Tsu Yen probably guess that I might have had I been alive and comforted me just in case.

" You're young." He explained. " You'll grow, and in fact, I've known a lot of clumsy Seraphs, and you're not one of them."

Grow. Isn't that strange? Theoretically when something dies, they aren't supposed to grow anymore. It goes against the laws of science. But I guess this isn't science, after all. We are beyond the level of the human mind. And I will grow, Tsu Yen told me.

" You'll grow to be a fine young man." He joked once when we crossed paths.

Before I would have scoffed at that comment and glared at him. Now I just smiled. I use to think-well, not think, but I have always believed somewhere in my mind that Sakura and I would get married. Or hoped, it doesn't matter what the emotion was. And that I would be a fine young man as Tsu Yen had stated and Sakura would be a fine young woman. Perhaps we would have a child, and we would be fine young parents, gradually getting older, until we're fine old grandparents, and fine old great grandparents, and if we don't live past that at least we'd be the fine old deceased, together always.

There are many differences to that illusion now. Now I am a fine young child. Sakura is a fine young girl and I'm a fine young boy. We're not married at all, in fact, she doesn't even know that I love her, and I'm not sure that her love for me will even be recognized in time. We certainly are not fine young parents or grandparents for that matter, and right now Sakura is a fine young girl, alive and blooming with the coming of spring, and I'm the fine young deceased, too young to depart and yet I did. We had separated just like that. I lost her. She lost me. It's really over now.

" You'll grow to be a fine young man."



Rachel came to us, leaning against a tree for support.

" Gosh, I haven't done that in a long while, and it's tiring." She muttered. " Where is Nadeshiko?"

Nadeshiko swirled into view and I made a note to snap at her for that later.
" How's Sakura?" Tsu Yen asked for me.
" She's alright now, plenty tired." She answered. " Quite frankly the fever was higher than I expected. It took some time to lower it down."

She brushed her hair out of her face. " What of the demons?"
" I gave them quite a workout." Rachel beamed. " They're running all over the place."

Tsu Yen and I cocked an eyebrow at her.
" Now I know why Clow Reed was afraid of you." I began, " And even more, how Nakuru came to be."

Rachel laughed. " In my honor! Yes! But come, let us go up to Paradise for a while."
" I'm staying here." I answered.

Suddenly all three spirits seemed displeased.

" You're a Seraph for nearly two weeks now." Tsu Yen muttered. " You still didn't enjoy Paradise yet."
" I have all eternity, remember?" I smiled. " I have all eternity, but once I go up there I won't come back for a long time. Might as well savor the beauty of this world as long as it lasts. It won't be here any longer when I come back."
" In that case, we'll leave you for now." Rachel smiled. Nadeshiko studied me for a moment as the two angels left.
" Do you really want to go?" She asked me.
" Would I regret it?" I paused. " Likely not."



The beach was covered with the whitest of sand and there were cracked shells and small crabs hidden underneath. The sea was calm. Occasionally the waves would wash onto shore some seaweed and kelp. Tiny fish glittered in the waves.

The sky was dark and the sun was beginning to set. Clouds were purple against the bluish sky, and the sunlight, red crimson, glittered on the waters. The air smelled salty, yet there was a freshness to it. Seagulls called to each other, preparing for the night.

" Pretty, isn't it?"

I turned my head. " You use to walk with Clow along these shorelines, no?"

Rachel smiled bitterly. " That was long ago. Then Clow abandoned me for the cards."
" Bitter love, eh?"

Rachel closed her eyes.

" He loved his cards with all his heart. It was the only thing he thought of in his long life. No love, no romance, except that one fateful marriage that brought about descendants like you."
" Do you hate him for it?" I asked.
" No. I understand him." Rachel looked across the horizon. " He was a wretched man."

We sat on the sandy beach for a long while, and watched the tides begin to rise.

" I heard you granted Yue his wish."
" He's leaving with me."
" It's a bad idea."
" Good for him though."
" What about Sakura? Her brother? Her guardian?" Rachel asked, looking at me curiously.

Sakura. Oh lovely, breathtaking Sakura.

" They'll see to themselves." I answered. " Yue suffered more than they ever will. Time will heal eventually."
" You seem rather confident."
" I am. Of all of them Yue alone is incurable. Paradise will help with that."
" Sakura would have been a good mistress."
" And Yue a good guardian. More than what he is rewarded with."

There was a deep silence, broken only by the waves. The sun peeked out of the horizon far away, its light getting thinner and less brilliant. Above, the sky had turned purple, and the clouds shadows with pink linings.

" Lovely child, lightly child,
Hair of auburn gold,
Child with eyes of stone.

Lovely child, graceful child,
Smile as soft as rains,
Laugh as fine as summer days.

Lovely child, awesome child,
Light in the dark,
Staff in hand and aura blaze.

Sakura..."



" If you still love her," Rachel whispered after a pause, " Perhaps you should wait."
" No." I answered. " I will not."
" Why?" Rachel asked. " I don't understand."
" You will." I assured her.
" Your song is pretty." She mustered weakly.
" Look, the sun has set."

It did. The sun was gone, and the waters had turned dark. But the sky was still purple and where the sun had disappeared there was still a little bit of the red glow. Still, this was sign enough. The two of us stood up.

" Let's go check on Sakura." Rachel smiled. I smiled back at her.



The next day Sakura was very tired in school. So was I. Not tired , really, just drained and annoyed. School was getting exceedingly dull.

" Syaoran-kun, I'm getting a feeling that you're keeping something from me." Was the first thing she said that morning.

Naturally, I was not up to telling her everything.
" Oh? What makes you think that?"
" Oni-chan was yelling at Yukito-san the other night." Sakura answered. " And I heard them talking about you. They said something about you leaving."

Ah. Touya. So Yue told him, and Touya was hurt. Something could be settled for that. After all, it was Yue who was leaving. Not Yukito.
" Might be." I answered simply. Tomoyo looked at me queerly.

Ah, right Tomoyo. You were one of the first two people to notice my crush on Sakura. Now you're wondering, what happened? Why do I seem so indifferent?

What would you say to the truth?

" I might go back to Hong Kong, I'm not sure yet."
" So you mean you might not?" Sakura looked hopeful.

I decided not to complicate matters. " Hai."

After all, there's always tomorrow.

For now, anyway. For now, when the night of the last battle is yet to come.



The night came.

Devils. Hundreds of them. Sakura looked at them with fear in her eyes. I was wearing white. White robes, for the first time in my life, and a hood. The others had asked me why I wore this. I gave them no response. They also asked why I carried the strange jar under my arm. I gave them no answer.

I did not think of the battle. I did not bother to watch. I already knew how it was going to turn out. Let Eriol and Sakura make the first few moves. I'll enter later.

Inside my mind I was going through the future.

There was a reason why I was leaving Sakura. It wasn't because I did not love her. I loved her dearly. But I do not love how she'll turn out. Time will come when she will take an exam for junior high school. She'll come across many questions she couldn't answer, and an idea will come to her head. Why not use the cards? So she used them, feeling guilty all the while, but she got into that junior high school.

Then came her first test in that school. She vowed never to use the cards for such deeds, but finally she couldn't control herself and cheated again. She said to herself, " I won't do this again."

But she did it anyway.

Then came some popular girls, who sneered at her. Sakura grew angry. Then an idea popped into her head.

Why not punish them with magic?

So she did. Made their skirts wet. Made them water themselves.

Hahaha. So far so good. It couldn't get any worse, can it?

Then one of the girls became so rude Sakura punished her to the utmost.

She knocked her out.

Sakura promised she will never touch the cards again. But the evil has already been down. The next time, another girl insulted her. She grew angry. So with Firey, Sakura burned down that girl's house.

She was horrified, naturally, but her heart had begun to harden at such things. Next came another girl who had the crush on the same guy Sakura was. Sakura flooded her apartment.

High school. Sakura took another exam. She cheated again. She was use to it now. College, the same thing. She murdered the first boy who had tried to attack her.

Then came several sorcerors. They wanted to test her, to see if she was worthy of being a sorceress. Sakura killed them all. She didn't mean to. She was upset at them.

Her heart hardened even more. The guilty conscience was gone.

No one becomes evil willingly. No, for evil, though powerful, is tough to bear. It's hard to harden your heart. It takes strength, and for most people, they aren't strong enough to harden their heart. Their heart is weak. Evil takes strength.

Sakura has that strength, though. She was perfectly capable of being evil when she must. And slowly, she'll develop that darkness, until all light has flashed out.

It wouldn't make a difference whether I was there or not.

So would I stay with the person I love, only to let her become the monster she was destined to be?

I am a Seraph.

I am an Angel.

I'm sorry, Sakura.



" Firey! Release and Dispel!"

I raised my head.
" Syaoran-kun! We need your help!" Sakura cried. The demons were everywhere. I had hidden in the shadows. They did not find me.

Tsu Yen had given me a new sword. It was a nice, sharp, heavy one. I drew it out.

At the sound, the demons watched me. I stepped out.

" So it begins."



Eriol lifted his staff and something red flashed. I turned around and plunged my sword into the body of one of the minor demons. The brute gave a loud cry, a shriek of anger, and its body crumbled into dust. I threw the jar above my head and swung my sword around, stabbing another demon. It reached out, trying to grab my for balance, but caught my hood instead. I caught the jar as it came down, closing the lid. I turned to face one of my murderers.

" You..." It said, its eyes widening. " Impossible!"
" Why not?" I asked, quite pleasantly. " If there are demons, why not angels?"

The devil widened its eyes even more, but before it could speak I plunged my sword through it. It crumbled to dust silently.

Something white struck near my right. I blinked. There was a demon, collapsing to its knees. A minor one though, one who nearly had my jar. Why retrieve a body when they're after the cards? It's folly. I looked at the direction where the silver arrow came from and saw Yue.

Yue was smiling.

I smiled back. I knew why he was smiling. It was the first time he was like the angel that he was meant to be.

You're closer than you think.

Lifting my left arm I drew a vertical arc in front of me, creating a bow of my own. I pulled my right arm back. An arrow. I fired. One demon dropped. Next to me, Eriol paused, staring at me. A ball of fire blew past. I whirled around. It was Kero. Something struck him; a spear. With a great roar he fell to his side, blood oozing.

I decided it was enough. I closed my eyes, and felt them spread.

" Syaoran-kun!" I heard Sakura cry, and I lifted my wings and turned back to the demons, daring them to come near.

At first, many shrank back. I smiled. They wouldn't dare challenge the wrath of a Seraph, no matter how young.

One demon grabbed Sakura. She screamed. I looked at that demon. It was one of them. One of the great Five.

It grinned at me, a toothy grin. Its yellow teeth gleamed and a red tongue licked the lips. Glaring eyes glanced at mine and held them. I responded steadily.

" What, harm the one you wish to use?" I asked. " Not very wise."
" It isn't wise either to risk the life of the one you love." The demon responded, and with that, the other small, powerless demons took courage and started to advance towards me.

I was the Seraph. I was not afraid. That demon will not hurt Sakura. It was all fake. She was to lure me into submission.

See how you hurt me already, Sakura? But you won't hurt me this time. Not when I'm like this, all powerful, free from you.

" Halt!" I called, and the demons, to their own amazement, stopped at my command. They started trembling as I started to advance towards the one that held my Sakura.

Mine, for tonight. She was always mine, until the day the demons took her away from me, and then she was mine again when I returned. Tonight will be the last night. The last night I will think of Sakura as mine. And then I will lose her as one loses his heart. One who loses his fortunes. His happiness.

His life.

And when I advanced I advanced like death on one who was dying. I am Death tonight. I will be the Death of all those who hurt my Sakura.

By tomorrow, I will be gone.

But tonight, well,

Tonight I shall play murderer.