Epilogue
" Welcome, Li Syaoran, to the land of Paradise! A wise choice you made!" Ilya
laughed. He was one of the Seraphs. " I cannot tell you how delighted we are to
have you as one of us!"
" It is the same with me." I answered, suddenly feeling warm. Here everything was
joyous. Everything was peaceful. There was no pain.
" What, no Rachel?" Ilya asked, laughing. " Ah, she'll come when Eriol dies, I
guess."
" Yue!" He turned to the guardian. " What a surprise! Come! I'll introduce you to
everyone." He led Yue to the crowd of angels and there was great fuss.
I turned to Tsu Yen.
There were many angels, all glad to meet me, which made me feel all the more happier. Then I saw my family far away and ran to meet them. I leaped into my father's arms. His arms were just as strong as I remembered, and I laughed. We kissed and cried and wept tears of joy. We were together again, in the home of the blessed.
Suddenly, I remembered the teddy bear.
Father noticed too. He smiled sadly, and suddenly everyone was quiet. He led me to an altar where there was a goblet and some strange wine. Filling it up, he held it out to me. I stared at the cup. This was it. This was the last move I'll make for Sakura.
Sakura. You were the one that made me so happy in Japan. Your eyes. Your laugh. The way you'll come to me and fidget in that shy way of yours, looking at me with your eyes and stuttering. The way you would bend down and ask if I was alright.
You're beautiful, Sakura.
Sakura. Remember how we first met? You were sitting there, all shocked and surprised, staring at me with your green eyes, and thinking, It's him...
I was looking at you and I knew you were the one. Whether it was my love of the mistress, I had long forgotten. But I knew you were the one. That you will be important.
And you proved that.
Afterwards with Eriol around you said you needed my help. I did watch after you, look after your safety, but you never really needed it. Most of the time it was me. I needed help, and you saved me.
I remember that teddy bear that I gave you so long ago. Long ago, it seemed. That time you were still looking after Yukito and blushing every time he came. That time I was watching you and I was too scared to tell my feelings to you. I didn't know any better, and perhaps, if I wasn't an angel I still wouldn't.
I remember how you would sigh and look down as your brother and I argue, or Kero and I shout at each other. And sometimes you would try to break us up, but you wouldn't know how to handle the situation. And how sometimes you would come to me for advice on the cards.
Remember that first night we talked about normal things? We talked about how we were. You asked me about Wei. It was the night when the Erase card attacked and you were scared of ghosts. And we didn't talk about things like capturing cards or even about Clow Reed or Kero. We talked about ourselves.
I looked at the goblet. I saw my reflection. Inside, it wasn't just Li Syaoran. I blinked. I saw golden amber eyes. I saw white fair skin. I saw a child.
" Lovely child..."
Slowly I raised my hand and accepted the cup. I looked into the wine. This wine will make me forget about my love for her. I will still remember Sakura was in my life, but I will no longer love her.
I will no longer remember those times, Sakura. Or I will, but they will take a different form. They will never be as precious. Because you won't be so precious anymore.
When I sip from this cup, I will stop loving you. You will no longer be in my heart. You will lose me.
Will you allow me to do this, if you had a choice?
Darling Sakura. Precious Sakura. There was a time, long ago, when Eriol was still giving us tests. Us, because he was curious about me too. And there was a time, after a battle, when we constantly locked our pinkies together and made promises. Many different kinds of promises, some frivolous, others deep and thoughtful.
When I drink from this cup I will not be able to keep any of those promises anymore, Sakura.
You once said, " Break a promise and you're a pig!"
I smiled sadly. It felt warm, that statement. Soon, it won't be anymore.
Soon, everything will be a useless shadow.
I looked up and drank from the cup. As I drank, I spoke to her, my love, my light.
When I drink from this cup, Sakura, I will love you no more. All the promises will be broken.
I will not watch over you. Will not look after your own interests. Will not grant you wishes, for you had none that I could grant.
But there is still one promise that I could keep, one that we've never made, nor ever would have, had you known this will come to pass.
That one promise I will hold close and dear to me.
You can love someone else, Sakura. Love Eriol. Love Yamazaki. I don't care.
I swallowed the wine.
You can marry someone. Have children. You can murder. You can cheat. You can become whatever person you want. You can forget about me.
Because...
I will not wait for you.
Owari