Title: Still Holding on
Category: Drama/Angst/ Romance-JC & JMC
Rating: PG-13 just to be on the safe side (Later in the story)
Spoilers: None; I only wish this would happen on the show, but it won't. If
it did, I would want royalties! Just kidding!
Archive: ask first, then I'll decide
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to Warner
Brothers, Michael Criton, NBC, etcetera, etcetera.
Authors Note: Some of you may notice that I have revised Chapter one of this story. I did so because of a chronology error on my part. If you have not reread the 1st chapter, you might want to go back and do so, or at least the last few paragraphs. That is where the changes are. Now about this Chapter: As if the story was not angsty enough, well, let's just say that the real angst begins here. I have several twists and turns prepared for the next several installments. Some may be predictable, others, I'm hoping will really surprise you! Ok- On with the story! Ya'll enjoy! ~~~~*
The visitors had been nearly constant, but John had hardly noticed any of them. To him, the only person that mattered to him was Deb. The pain he felt was worse than any he had ever felt; it was worse that having a six- inch butcher knife shoved into his back. This would be his demise if she never got off that hospital bed.
"John."
John did not hear his name being called, until it was repeated several times.
"John-Dr. Carter!"
"Dr. Edwards, I'm sorry, I did not hear you," John said to Debs physician.
"Its quite alright John. I understand. Let me check her condition." He attempted to make small talk during the examination. "Have you talked to the police again?"
"Yeah. Yeah I did. They said until she wakes up, and decides to talk, they have no leads. No one saw anything, there are no fingerprints, and no one I can think of who would do anything like this. Tony, I don't know how to deal with this. I'm scared, angry, frustrated and tired, all at the same time."
The other doctor smiled and nodded, not knowing exactly what to say to the young man.
"Well, I don't really see much of a change, except some increase in brain waves on the EEG. That's a good sign. She may come to very soon." He looked at Carter, and walked out the door.
Two hours later, John was lying next to his wife, on her hospital bed, when he felt her stir in his embrace. He was wide-awake instantly, and began to try and bring her into the conscious moment with gentle touches.
"STOP! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! HELP, HELP ME PLEASE!" she screamed suddenly. She began to flail her arms in a desperate attempt to escape him.
John jumped off the bed at Deb's cries. He yelled down the hall for Dr. Edwards, and ran back to Deb's side.
John spoke quietly to the delirious woman, trying with all his might to quiet her screams. "Deb, baby, I'm here. He won't hurt you anymore. No one will. Please calm down. Please."
Dr. Edwards entered the room, and injected Deb with a relaxant. As her cries became less and less hysterical, it became obvious to the doctors that Deb was not mentally the same person that she was the week before.
This ripped John's heart into many pieces. Seeing her in this condition was worse than the silence before, because it finally occurred to him the pain that she felt in her last moments of consciousness.
As the next twenty-four hours progressed, Deb's mental status became increasingly better. She sat up, and managed to choke down some hospital food. While he was relieved at her improvement, John noticed that she had become detached and silent. She had not said one word to him. She did not even seem to notice that he was in the room with her.
He wanted to reach out and touch her face, to feel her breath on his hand, to reassure her that he was there for her. But when he attempted this, she shuttered and tried to back away from him. He could only hope that this was temporary.
~~~~*
After a few days of that painful silence, John was not sure if he could keep this up. He had been deprived of a normal sleep pattern for nearly two week, catching only a few power naps during these two weeks from hell.
One afternoon while she slept, John sat beside her bed, and rested his head on the side of it.
"John." Her weak voice was just loud enough to wake him from his much needed slumber.
With that one word, he knew that they would be ok, that she had come back to him, just like he asked her to do while she was in the coma.
~~~~*
One month had passed since the incident. The couple had returned to some realm of normalcy, although "normal" would never be normal again.
Deb told John that she never wanted to return to the place where IT had happened. They sold the old home and moved into a home slightly larger than the one they previously inhabited.
Deb's vitality and spirit slowly returned to her, and she became the person John remembered. Yet there were certain things that took Deb back to the moment her life changed. She did not want to be alone, so when John worked, either her mother, or Gamma, or even Abby or Susan would come stay with her. She did not want to go back to work, because of what he, the man who assaulted her, had said. "You saw what happened to the last one." He had obviously been at the ER that night, and it scared her to think of him being there. The police had been able to gather any other evidence, aside from what Deb described to them, and all of that was vague. She remembered bits and pieces of her attack, but nothing that would have someone convicted.
Yet, the thing that troubled Deb the most, was the fact that intimacy with her husband was something that she could not do. She could not feel alive, for thinking about the last time. She had been broken and did not feel like she could give John all of herself. She lost a certain part of herself that night, a part that could never be retained.
It concerned her husband, too, but he knew that it would be difficult for her to be intimate in the immediate future. He still longed for children, but that could wait until she felt comfortable enough in herself to let him prove himself to her again.
~~~~*
"Hey, you two."
"Hey Abby. You want some breakfast?"
John and Deb sat in the breakfast nook of their new home, eating eggs and toast, when their friend entered the room.
"Thanks for the offer John, but I grabbed something from Doc Magoos on my way out of the hospital. How are you feeling today Jing-Mei?"
"Eh, not to great to be honest. It's probably just the flu."
"Well, I'm going to get to work, but I'll call and check in later, alright baby?" he said as he lightly kissed her forehead.
His wife nodded, and watched him leave the room, followed by Abby who was going to lock the door behind John.
Before he walked out the door, John turned to Abby.
"She is not feeling well at all. She threw up twice in the past six hours, and she looks really pale. She refuses to admit it, but I think that she feels worse than she is letting on. Keep an eye on her, ok?"
"No problem. Hey, John," she stopped him before he shut the door. "How are you doing? You have not been yourself since it happened."
"God, Abby, I can't help but think that this is all my fault. I should have been here."
"Like with Lucy?"
John stared at the petite brunette standing in his kitchen.
"What are you insinuating? That I'm going to have a relapse of my addiction because of this. Abby, come on. I'm over that. I'll admit, it has been difficult, but I can handle it. I don't need you prying into my business, especially when it concerns my addiction. I'm not the one who was sober for over five years, and then relapsed into an addiction worse than the one before. But I'm not pointing any fingers!"
John slammed the door, and left for work, leaving Deb and Abby alone.
The two women had a fairly enjoyable morning and afternoon. Abby caught Deb up on the ER gossip; they flipped through magazines, and watched every game show and Soap Opera known to man. Their enjoyment ceased periodically throughout the day, though. Every now and then, Deb would get sick to her stomach, and have to high tail it to the downstairs bathroom. Abby was very concerned about her friend, and wondered if she should take Deb to see a doctor. Then it hit her- but that thought was too terrible to even comprehend.
Authors Note: Some of you may notice that I have revised Chapter one of this story. I did so because of a chronology error on my part. If you have not reread the 1st chapter, you might want to go back and do so, or at least the last few paragraphs. That is where the changes are. Now about this Chapter: As if the story was not angsty enough, well, let's just say that the real angst begins here. I have several twists and turns prepared for the next several installments. Some may be predictable, others, I'm hoping will really surprise you! Ok- On with the story! Ya'll enjoy! ~~~~*
The visitors had been nearly constant, but John had hardly noticed any of them. To him, the only person that mattered to him was Deb. The pain he felt was worse than any he had ever felt; it was worse that having a six- inch butcher knife shoved into his back. This would be his demise if she never got off that hospital bed.
"John."
John did not hear his name being called, until it was repeated several times.
"John-Dr. Carter!"
"Dr. Edwards, I'm sorry, I did not hear you," John said to Debs physician.
"Its quite alright John. I understand. Let me check her condition." He attempted to make small talk during the examination. "Have you talked to the police again?"
"Yeah. Yeah I did. They said until she wakes up, and decides to talk, they have no leads. No one saw anything, there are no fingerprints, and no one I can think of who would do anything like this. Tony, I don't know how to deal with this. I'm scared, angry, frustrated and tired, all at the same time."
The other doctor smiled and nodded, not knowing exactly what to say to the young man.
"Well, I don't really see much of a change, except some increase in brain waves on the EEG. That's a good sign. She may come to very soon." He looked at Carter, and walked out the door.
Two hours later, John was lying next to his wife, on her hospital bed, when he felt her stir in his embrace. He was wide-awake instantly, and began to try and bring her into the conscious moment with gentle touches.
"STOP! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! HELP, HELP ME PLEASE!" she screamed suddenly. She began to flail her arms in a desperate attempt to escape him.
John jumped off the bed at Deb's cries. He yelled down the hall for Dr. Edwards, and ran back to Deb's side.
John spoke quietly to the delirious woman, trying with all his might to quiet her screams. "Deb, baby, I'm here. He won't hurt you anymore. No one will. Please calm down. Please."
Dr. Edwards entered the room, and injected Deb with a relaxant. As her cries became less and less hysterical, it became obvious to the doctors that Deb was not mentally the same person that she was the week before.
This ripped John's heart into many pieces. Seeing her in this condition was worse than the silence before, because it finally occurred to him the pain that she felt in her last moments of consciousness.
As the next twenty-four hours progressed, Deb's mental status became increasingly better. She sat up, and managed to choke down some hospital food. While he was relieved at her improvement, John noticed that she had become detached and silent. She had not said one word to him. She did not even seem to notice that he was in the room with her.
He wanted to reach out and touch her face, to feel her breath on his hand, to reassure her that he was there for her. But when he attempted this, she shuttered and tried to back away from him. He could only hope that this was temporary.
~~~~*
After a few days of that painful silence, John was not sure if he could keep this up. He had been deprived of a normal sleep pattern for nearly two week, catching only a few power naps during these two weeks from hell.
One afternoon while she slept, John sat beside her bed, and rested his head on the side of it.
"John." Her weak voice was just loud enough to wake him from his much needed slumber.
With that one word, he knew that they would be ok, that she had come back to him, just like he asked her to do while she was in the coma.
~~~~*
One month had passed since the incident. The couple had returned to some realm of normalcy, although "normal" would never be normal again.
Deb told John that she never wanted to return to the place where IT had happened. They sold the old home and moved into a home slightly larger than the one they previously inhabited.
Deb's vitality and spirit slowly returned to her, and she became the person John remembered. Yet there were certain things that took Deb back to the moment her life changed. She did not want to be alone, so when John worked, either her mother, or Gamma, or even Abby or Susan would come stay with her. She did not want to go back to work, because of what he, the man who assaulted her, had said. "You saw what happened to the last one." He had obviously been at the ER that night, and it scared her to think of him being there. The police had been able to gather any other evidence, aside from what Deb described to them, and all of that was vague. She remembered bits and pieces of her attack, but nothing that would have someone convicted.
Yet, the thing that troubled Deb the most, was the fact that intimacy with her husband was something that she could not do. She could not feel alive, for thinking about the last time. She had been broken and did not feel like she could give John all of herself. She lost a certain part of herself that night, a part that could never be retained.
It concerned her husband, too, but he knew that it would be difficult for her to be intimate in the immediate future. He still longed for children, but that could wait until she felt comfortable enough in herself to let him prove himself to her again.
~~~~*
"Hey, you two."
"Hey Abby. You want some breakfast?"
John and Deb sat in the breakfast nook of their new home, eating eggs and toast, when their friend entered the room.
"Thanks for the offer John, but I grabbed something from Doc Magoos on my way out of the hospital. How are you feeling today Jing-Mei?"
"Eh, not to great to be honest. It's probably just the flu."
"Well, I'm going to get to work, but I'll call and check in later, alright baby?" he said as he lightly kissed her forehead.
His wife nodded, and watched him leave the room, followed by Abby who was going to lock the door behind John.
Before he walked out the door, John turned to Abby.
"She is not feeling well at all. She threw up twice in the past six hours, and she looks really pale. She refuses to admit it, but I think that she feels worse than she is letting on. Keep an eye on her, ok?"
"No problem. Hey, John," she stopped him before he shut the door. "How are you doing? You have not been yourself since it happened."
"God, Abby, I can't help but think that this is all my fault. I should have been here."
"Like with Lucy?"
John stared at the petite brunette standing in his kitchen.
"What are you insinuating? That I'm going to have a relapse of my addiction because of this. Abby, come on. I'm over that. I'll admit, it has been difficult, but I can handle it. I don't need you prying into my business, especially when it concerns my addiction. I'm not the one who was sober for over five years, and then relapsed into an addiction worse than the one before. But I'm not pointing any fingers!"
John slammed the door, and left for work, leaving Deb and Abby alone.
The two women had a fairly enjoyable morning and afternoon. Abby caught Deb up on the ER gossip; they flipped through magazines, and watched every game show and Soap Opera known to man. Their enjoyment ceased periodically throughout the day, though. Every now and then, Deb would get sick to her stomach, and have to high tail it to the downstairs bathroom. Abby was very concerned about her friend, and wondered if she should take Deb to see a doctor. Then it hit her- but that thought was too terrible to even comprehend.