Still Holding On
Rated: PG13
Disclaimer: What do you think? Not mine!
Author's note: Sorry it took SSSSOOO long to update, but I really had
gotten stuck on where I wanted to go with this. Anyway, I'm back on track
now, and am two chapters ahead, the next of which will be added next week
sometime. PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!!
Let the Lovin' begin!!!
****
They returned to their home an hour later soaked to the skin, but neither one caring much. They were having a baby, and this was all that mattered. They both knew Deb had begun the healing process from this traumatic event, and John hoped that meant he would have his wife back.
The couple entered the house by way of the kitchen and realized that the electricity had apparently been knocked out by the storm, and the house was pitch dark. They were both freezing and wet.
They headed up the stairs and to their bedroom, where both were eager to change into warmer, drier clothes. John changed and quickly lit candles and placed them on the dresser and the nightstands and the bathroom counter. As he turned to exit the bathroom, he stopped and silently watched as Deb changed into some cotton pajama pants and a tee shirt. As she slipped the shirt over her head, he saw the signs on her belly of her first pregnancy. He hadn't thought about how Michael's adoption would affect her through this pregnancy. He found himself distracted by how beautiful she was in this light.
She saw him watching her in the mirror she was standing in front of. She turned and her eyes met his in the gentle glow of the candlelight. She smiled at him, placed her hand on her belly, and broke the gaze by turning back around. She knew that he was walking toward her, but she wasn't sure what to do.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist, just like the man who raped her had done. She gasped quietly as he put his hand over hers and gently touched her belly. John sensed her fear, and softly put his lips to her ear and began to whisper.
"Shhh, Baby. I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you or this child. I promise. If you want me to stop, I will. You know that I don't want to rush you into anything, but I do love you. More than anything on this planet. I know this is scary, but let me help you through it. All of it. Please."
A small tear ran down her face. She longed to be with her husband again, but he was right. She was afraid. She turned to face John.
"Will you just hold me? Please, that's what I need more than anything right now."
He inhaled deeply and smiled at her, understandingly. He put an arm tightly around her, kissed her forehead blew out all the candles and guided her back downstairs. They went into the living room, and John set about to start a small fire in the marble fireplace.
They sat on the soft couch directly in front of the fireplace. John had Deb's head cradled in his lap, and was gently stroking her still damp hair. The storm had begun to pick up again, and flashes of lightening and claps of thunder were filling the house every minute or so. Deb was peacefully sleeping when a knock was heard at the living room entrance.
John turned to find Tim and Margaret, the groundskeeper and housekeeper John had recently hired, standing under the archway.
"Sorry to interrupt you, but the electrical company called and said that the power will be off all night, and probably into the morning. They suggested we all go to a hotel in the city for the night. All the power has been restored inside Chicago."
"You two go on into town. We'll be all right here."
"Are you sure? We can get you two a room if you wanted to come on later."
"No. I think we are going to stay here tonight. We need some time. But you two go on. In fact, take tomorrow off as well. Do some shopping and just enjoy yourself. I'm off, so you don't have to worry about Deb."
"Thank you, John," the older man said.
"We'll see you tomorrow," his smiling wife joined in.
"Bye, Tim. Bye, Margaret. Drive carefully."
The older couple left the room, and John soon heard the back door shut and lock behind them. Deb's body jumped at the sound.
"What was that?" she asked groggily.
"Tim and Margaret are going to stay in the city tonight because the electricity won't be on until tomorrow. I told them that we would stay here, but if you'd be more comfortable somewhere else, then we can leave."
"No. I want to stay right here, where we are right now. This is the safest I've felt in a long time, John. I'd keep things like this forever if I could. For the first time in a while, I don't feel like I have failed you somehow."
"I never wanted to make you feel that way, Deb. That was the farthest thing from my mind. In fact, I have felt like I was the one who failed you. If I had been with you that night, none of this would have happened. I can't forgive myself for what you have gone through these last two months. I would have given anything to take some of that pain away from you."
"Don't feel that way. This is just something we are going to have to get past."
"That may be a hard thing to do now."
"John, I know that this baby will always remind me of that night, but-I can't-"
"I know. I wouldn't ask you to give up this baby. I told you before that I would love this child as if he or she was my own. You're my wife. We'll get through this. I promise."
Deb smiled, but remained silent for a while. John seemed to be able to read her mind.
"You're thinking about Michael."
"Uh-huh. I still think about him everyday. And I wonder what life would have been like if I had kept him. Would I have been a good mother to him, as good as I know Linda is? Would you and I ever gotten together. It scares me to think of how different things could have been."
"Hey, Don't think about the 'could have been's'. It won't do you any good. We make decisions in life, and you made the one that was best for you at the time. And everything has worked out. Life has a way of doing that on its own."
Deb smiled as she stared into her husbands eyes.
"You're going to be a great father."
"And you're going to be a great mother. I've always thought so."
Deb gently reached up and momentarily touched her husbands face. This was the reason she loved him so much. They could talk about anything, and he was always supportive. He knew how to make her weak, but could make her feel so strong at exactly the same moment. He knew every thought that ran though her mind. She felt more love for him at that moment than she had in the past two months.
John saw the returning passion in her eyes, and read her like a book. She was still cautious, but willing. He knew that he had to take things slowly for her sake. He mimicked her by placing his hand on her soft cheek. He caressed her forehead, and ran his fingers softly over her lips. He then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. He lowered his lips to hers, and kissed her with a passion that had been denied for the past months.
She reciprocated his passion, and the couple soon made their way to the soft, lush carpet of the living room floor. They knew that they were alone, so neither one held back. They took full advantage of the empty house, not bothering to take it upstairs to the bedroom.
They had both found themselves again, and found one another. They knew that they needed nothing else.
After several hours, Deb gave into her exhaustion, and fell asleep in John's arms. He held her close, as if he would never let go. The storm outside has subsided to a mere shower, and he simply lay there listening to the raindrops fall to the ground. Eventually the sound of the rain lulled him to sleep as well, and they stayed that way until first ray of sunshine peeked through the window. They awoke at the same time, both aware that the power had just returned.
"Good morning."
John replied to Deb's greeting with a kiss.
"Are you hungry? I am."
"Well, then get up and get dressed and we'll go get something for breakfast. Sound good?"
"Yes, but I'll have to get a shower first."
"Sounds good to me."
Deb laughed and grabbed one of the blankets that was covering them, wrapped herself in it and ran up the stairs. John grabbed the other one and chase after her. Catching her in the doorway of their bathroom. He grabbed her and kissed her and then followed her into the bathroom.
They showered quickly and dressed and headed into the city, and stopped at a little café to eat breakfast.
"So when and how are we going to tell every one?" John asked as they sat down with bagels and coffee for John and a cheese Danish and orange juice for Deb.
"I don't know. I mean it will be awkward. Abby knows. She was there when I found out. I don't know how I would have reacted if she hadn't been there. But I know that she has not told anyone. I'm not quite eight weeks along yet. It might be a little early to tell anyone. I want to wait a while, and let people figure it out on their own. I mean I don't want to make a point to have everyone know that the baby is not yours."
"I know."
"We'll figure it out. Let's not worry about that now."
He kissed her hands and they continued their meal, silently, both contemplating the question that neither had an answer to.
****
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!! I Thrive off of your reviews and would Really like to hear what you think, good or bad!!!
HUGS!!!
Let the Lovin' begin!!!
****
They returned to their home an hour later soaked to the skin, but neither one caring much. They were having a baby, and this was all that mattered. They both knew Deb had begun the healing process from this traumatic event, and John hoped that meant he would have his wife back.
The couple entered the house by way of the kitchen and realized that the electricity had apparently been knocked out by the storm, and the house was pitch dark. They were both freezing and wet.
They headed up the stairs and to their bedroom, where both were eager to change into warmer, drier clothes. John changed and quickly lit candles and placed them on the dresser and the nightstands and the bathroom counter. As he turned to exit the bathroom, he stopped and silently watched as Deb changed into some cotton pajama pants and a tee shirt. As she slipped the shirt over her head, he saw the signs on her belly of her first pregnancy. He hadn't thought about how Michael's adoption would affect her through this pregnancy. He found himself distracted by how beautiful she was in this light.
She saw him watching her in the mirror she was standing in front of. She turned and her eyes met his in the gentle glow of the candlelight. She smiled at him, placed her hand on her belly, and broke the gaze by turning back around. She knew that he was walking toward her, but she wasn't sure what to do.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist, just like the man who raped her had done. She gasped quietly as he put his hand over hers and gently touched her belly. John sensed her fear, and softly put his lips to her ear and began to whisper.
"Shhh, Baby. I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you or this child. I promise. If you want me to stop, I will. You know that I don't want to rush you into anything, but I do love you. More than anything on this planet. I know this is scary, but let me help you through it. All of it. Please."
A small tear ran down her face. She longed to be with her husband again, but he was right. She was afraid. She turned to face John.
"Will you just hold me? Please, that's what I need more than anything right now."
He inhaled deeply and smiled at her, understandingly. He put an arm tightly around her, kissed her forehead blew out all the candles and guided her back downstairs. They went into the living room, and John set about to start a small fire in the marble fireplace.
They sat on the soft couch directly in front of the fireplace. John had Deb's head cradled in his lap, and was gently stroking her still damp hair. The storm had begun to pick up again, and flashes of lightening and claps of thunder were filling the house every minute or so. Deb was peacefully sleeping when a knock was heard at the living room entrance.
John turned to find Tim and Margaret, the groundskeeper and housekeeper John had recently hired, standing under the archway.
"Sorry to interrupt you, but the electrical company called and said that the power will be off all night, and probably into the morning. They suggested we all go to a hotel in the city for the night. All the power has been restored inside Chicago."
"You two go on into town. We'll be all right here."
"Are you sure? We can get you two a room if you wanted to come on later."
"No. I think we are going to stay here tonight. We need some time. But you two go on. In fact, take tomorrow off as well. Do some shopping and just enjoy yourself. I'm off, so you don't have to worry about Deb."
"Thank you, John," the older man said.
"We'll see you tomorrow," his smiling wife joined in.
"Bye, Tim. Bye, Margaret. Drive carefully."
The older couple left the room, and John soon heard the back door shut and lock behind them. Deb's body jumped at the sound.
"What was that?" she asked groggily.
"Tim and Margaret are going to stay in the city tonight because the electricity won't be on until tomorrow. I told them that we would stay here, but if you'd be more comfortable somewhere else, then we can leave."
"No. I want to stay right here, where we are right now. This is the safest I've felt in a long time, John. I'd keep things like this forever if I could. For the first time in a while, I don't feel like I have failed you somehow."
"I never wanted to make you feel that way, Deb. That was the farthest thing from my mind. In fact, I have felt like I was the one who failed you. If I had been with you that night, none of this would have happened. I can't forgive myself for what you have gone through these last two months. I would have given anything to take some of that pain away from you."
"Don't feel that way. This is just something we are going to have to get past."
"That may be a hard thing to do now."
"John, I know that this baby will always remind me of that night, but-I can't-"
"I know. I wouldn't ask you to give up this baby. I told you before that I would love this child as if he or she was my own. You're my wife. We'll get through this. I promise."
Deb smiled, but remained silent for a while. John seemed to be able to read her mind.
"You're thinking about Michael."
"Uh-huh. I still think about him everyday. And I wonder what life would have been like if I had kept him. Would I have been a good mother to him, as good as I know Linda is? Would you and I ever gotten together. It scares me to think of how different things could have been."
"Hey, Don't think about the 'could have been's'. It won't do you any good. We make decisions in life, and you made the one that was best for you at the time. And everything has worked out. Life has a way of doing that on its own."
Deb smiled as she stared into her husbands eyes.
"You're going to be a great father."
"And you're going to be a great mother. I've always thought so."
Deb gently reached up and momentarily touched her husbands face. This was the reason she loved him so much. They could talk about anything, and he was always supportive. He knew how to make her weak, but could make her feel so strong at exactly the same moment. He knew every thought that ran though her mind. She felt more love for him at that moment than she had in the past two months.
John saw the returning passion in her eyes, and read her like a book. She was still cautious, but willing. He knew that he had to take things slowly for her sake. He mimicked her by placing his hand on her soft cheek. He caressed her forehead, and ran his fingers softly over her lips. He then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. He lowered his lips to hers, and kissed her with a passion that had been denied for the past months.
She reciprocated his passion, and the couple soon made their way to the soft, lush carpet of the living room floor. They knew that they were alone, so neither one held back. They took full advantage of the empty house, not bothering to take it upstairs to the bedroom.
They had both found themselves again, and found one another. They knew that they needed nothing else.
After several hours, Deb gave into her exhaustion, and fell asleep in John's arms. He held her close, as if he would never let go. The storm outside has subsided to a mere shower, and he simply lay there listening to the raindrops fall to the ground. Eventually the sound of the rain lulled him to sleep as well, and they stayed that way until first ray of sunshine peeked through the window. They awoke at the same time, both aware that the power had just returned.
"Good morning."
John replied to Deb's greeting with a kiss.
"Are you hungry? I am."
"Well, then get up and get dressed and we'll go get something for breakfast. Sound good?"
"Yes, but I'll have to get a shower first."
"Sounds good to me."
Deb laughed and grabbed one of the blankets that was covering them, wrapped herself in it and ran up the stairs. John grabbed the other one and chase after her. Catching her in the doorway of their bathroom. He grabbed her and kissed her and then followed her into the bathroom.
They showered quickly and dressed and headed into the city, and stopped at a little café to eat breakfast.
"So when and how are we going to tell every one?" John asked as they sat down with bagels and coffee for John and a cheese Danish and orange juice for Deb.
"I don't know. I mean it will be awkward. Abby knows. She was there when I found out. I don't know how I would have reacted if she hadn't been there. But I know that she has not told anyone. I'm not quite eight weeks along yet. It might be a little early to tell anyone. I want to wait a while, and let people figure it out on their own. I mean I don't want to make a point to have everyone know that the baby is not yours."
"I know."
"We'll figure it out. Let's not worry about that now."
He kissed her hands and they continued their meal, silently, both contemplating the question that neither had an answer to.
****
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE READ & REVIEW!!! I Thrive off of your reviews and would Really like to hear what you think, good or bad!!!
HUGS!!!