Watching the firelight play over her pale hands, she silently recited her latest lesson. Speak not unless spoken to, and then only what small witty phrases are acceptable given your company. Yes, that was simple enough for a lady of society.
"Missus has such beautiful skin," remarked the maid.
"I am sure there are other things about me to admire besides my skin," she scolded the maid. "My skin means nothing to me. It is my heart and soul I shall concern myself with."
"You shall be concerning yourself with your looks soon enough, Jane. You have a new suitor. He comes to visit us on the morrow."
"Another suitor? Mother, I do hate pandering to them so."
"You will do what it takes to please him. His name is Guiliford. Mind that you study his family tree, and do not bore him, understand me?"
"Of course mother." Looking at her hands as her mother turn to instruct the maid as to what she should be seen wearing tomorrow, she came to a swift decision. If her pretty hands were what made these men come looking for her, she would show them not one peep of them.
Or. . . Glancing at her mother to be certain she and the maid were too involved in their conversation to notice, Jane reached slowly out to the flames. Surely burns were repulsive, and that could stop those damn males from fawning all over her-
"Jane!" Surprised out of her flashback, Jane stared up at her adoptive guardian. "What hell do you think you're doing? That fire is hot!"
"I know. Lady did too. . . She wanted to burn her hands," Jane whispered, shivering.
"Well she can leave your hands alone," Severus growled.
Jane saw the anger in his eyes, and looked down at the carpet. She had not meant to let Lady take over her thoughts and actions. It had just been for a moment. Besides, her hands had been fine when she was searching for the block.
"Jane, I do not want to see or hear anything more about Lady, do you understand?"
"Yes sir." Keeping her gaze on the carpet, Jane contemplated how much like her "father" this man was. He could get angry over nothing, and he refused to accept her for who she was. Peering up between fallen locks of hair, Jane watched him ignore her.
Dumbledore had promised she would be safe here. Safety aside, Jane felt nothing near the happiness Lady had experienced and shared with her. Something in Jane kept screaming to know that love she had lost when she was young. Even her smallest moments were tainted with the knowledge of what those moments had cost her.
"I have classes to attend. I will see you after I have finished my work," Severus said brusquely. He was up and out the door before Jane could say goodbye.
"Lady, does he hate me?" Jane asked softly. Her friend remained silent, as Jane knew she would.
Silence came once more, and Jane welcomed her oldest companion. Gazing into the fire once more, she almost gave in to the temptation to seek out another memory. Even if her guardian might not see it, she did not want to chance making him angry. When he was angry he turned into a monster that she wanted to hide from.
No, he did not like her very much. Why he kept her in his rooms, Jane was not certain. Unlike Lady, who had a very stable pattern of life to follow, she had never known, nor understood, how her life was supposed to be lived. She had no suitors, and as far as she could tell, those were archaic things that girls no longer had. Of course, she was young to think-
A disconcerting noise from the fireplace made Jane scramble backwards. The last time it had made that noise, someone had fallen out of it, muttered something about the wrong floo, and left. This time the man who fell out of the fireplace, Jane knew. It was Fudge, the Minister of something-or-other. Anyhow, he was Important.
"Ah, Jane. Good. Now, we've been looking for you for a bit. Er, where's Severus?"
"Teaching classes, sir."
"Er, good. Is that your only dress?"
"Yes sir. But why-"
"Have you anything else? You will need it for where, er, we'll be sending you."
"Sending me?" Jane asked, her heart sinking farther than she knew was possible. He was sending her away?
"Er, yes. We found a nice orphanage. Wouldn't want to keep imposing on Severus, would you?" At Jane's unhappy shake of her head, he smiled. "There's a good girl."
"I'm not a good girl," Jane thought as she went to take her pair of scissors from their hiding place. "If I was a good girl, I would be loved. Isn't that right, Lady? Only the good ones go to Heaven."
"Missus has such beautiful skin," remarked the maid.
"I am sure there are other things about me to admire besides my skin," she scolded the maid. "My skin means nothing to me. It is my heart and soul I shall concern myself with."
"You shall be concerning yourself with your looks soon enough, Jane. You have a new suitor. He comes to visit us on the morrow."
"Another suitor? Mother, I do hate pandering to them so."
"You will do what it takes to please him. His name is Guiliford. Mind that you study his family tree, and do not bore him, understand me?"
"Of course mother." Looking at her hands as her mother turn to instruct the maid as to what she should be seen wearing tomorrow, she came to a swift decision. If her pretty hands were what made these men come looking for her, she would show them not one peep of them.
Or. . . Glancing at her mother to be certain she and the maid were too involved in their conversation to notice, Jane reached slowly out to the flames. Surely burns were repulsive, and that could stop those damn males from fawning all over her-
"Jane!" Surprised out of her flashback, Jane stared up at her adoptive guardian. "What hell do you think you're doing? That fire is hot!"
"I know. Lady did too. . . She wanted to burn her hands," Jane whispered, shivering.
"Well she can leave your hands alone," Severus growled.
Jane saw the anger in his eyes, and looked down at the carpet. She had not meant to let Lady take over her thoughts and actions. It had just been for a moment. Besides, her hands had been fine when she was searching for the block.
"Jane, I do not want to see or hear anything more about Lady, do you understand?"
"Yes sir." Keeping her gaze on the carpet, Jane contemplated how much like her "father" this man was. He could get angry over nothing, and he refused to accept her for who she was. Peering up between fallen locks of hair, Jane watched him ignore her.
Dumbledore had promised she would be safe here. Safety aside, Jane felt nothing near the happiness Lady had experienced and shared with her. Something in Jane kept screaming to know that love she had lost when she was young. Even her smallest moments were tainted with the knowledge of what those moments had cost her.
"I have classes to attend. I will see you after I have finished my work," Severus said brusquely. He was up and out the door before Jane could say goodbye.
"Lady, does he hate me?" Jane asked softly. Her friend remained silent, as Jane knew she would.
Silence came once more, and Jane welcomed her oldest companion. Gazing into the fire once more, she almost gave in to the temptation to seek out another memory. Even if her guardian might not see it, she did not want to chance making him angry. When he was angry he turned into a monster that she wanted to hide from.
No, he did not like her very much. Why he kept her in his rooms, Jane was not certain. Unlike Lady, who had a very stable pattern of life to follow, she had never known, nor understood, how her life was supposed to be lived. She had no suitors, and as far as she could tell, those were archaic things that girls no longer had. Of course, she was young to think-
A disconcerting noise from the fireplace made Jane scramble backwards. The last time it had made that noise, someone had fallen out of it, muttered something about the wrong floo, and left. This time the man who fell out of the fireplace, Jane knew. It was Fudge, the Minister of something-or-other. Anyhow, he was Important.
"Ah, Jane. Good. Now, we've been looking for you for a bit. Er, where's Severus?"
"Teaching classes, sir."
"Er, good. Is that your only dress?"
"Yes sir. But why-"
"Have you anything else? You will need it for where, er, we'll be sending you."
"Sending me?" Jane asked, her heart sinking farther than she knew was possible. He was sending her away?
"Er, yes. We found a nice orphanage. Wouldn't want to keep imposing on Severus, would you?" At Jane's unhappy shake of her head, he smiled. "There's a good girl."
"I'm not a good girl," Jane thought as she went to take her pair of scissors from their hiding place. "If I was a good girl, I would be loved. Isn't that right, Lady? Only the good ones go to Heaven."