Disclaimer: The 7th Heaven characters aren't mine. I'm just borrowing them to tell a story. Please don't sue. All non 7th Heaven characters belong to me. Please remember this is a work of fiction. All similarities to persons or events is purely coincidental. That said, it's time to begin.
Author's Request: Please read and review. Constructive criticism welcome. Please don't flame.
The Road Home
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002
Chapter 3
Gone
(Ruthie)
I watched them and I wondered how they could be so...so calm, like nothing had happened. Lucy laughed and smiled and threw her arms around Kevin's neck. They hugged and kissed and caressed each other's hair and face and neck. They never acted like that when Mom and Dad were around.
But I didn't say anything to them. I'm just a kid, they wouldn't listen to me anyway. And they're happy. Lucy looks really happy. Maybe she's glad Mom and Dad are gone so she and Kevin can live happily ever after without the parents looking over their shoulders. Kevin's mom is all the way across the country, Matt and Mary are too. It's just Lucy and Kevin now.
"Are you going to the apartment tonight? Because I was thinking, maybe you should stay here."
"We're not married yet, Luce."
"I meant on the sofa." She slapped his shoulder playfully. He laughed and smiled and kissed her again, swinging her up in his arms.
I left them in the kitchen without getting the snack I wanted. I just didn't feel very hungry all of a sudden.
I wonder what will happen to me, Simon, and the twins. Simon's almost seventeen. In another year he'll be an adult. I'm only twelve. I've got five and a half years to worry about who's in charge of my life.
It isn't fair. My parents were good people. Dad gave his life to the church. He worshipped God every day of his life. Maybe this was his punishment for the weeks after his heart surgery, when he questioned his faith. But it's not fair. He got his faith back, he found his way back to the church, and he recommitted to serving God. I don't understand why God would take him away just when he found himself again.
And Mom too. Mom never did anything, but maybe nag a little too much. But who could blame her? She had seven kids, two new babies just when the rest of us were getting old enough to start taking care of ourselves. Sam and David would probably never know Matt and Mary anyway, especially now.
They may not even know each other very long if the state gets a hold of them. Maybe Matt and Sarah will take us in. But they have school and 36 hour shifts at the hospital. They're not going to want the added stress of four children. Sam and David are a lot of work. Simon is even more work because he's a teenager. He's so moody and irritable. And I'm almost a teenager.
I don't want to be a bother to anyone. Maybe I should just pack up a few things and go. No one would really miss me. They might be worried and upset when they realize I'm gone, but once they get over the initial shock of it, they'll be fine. I'm just one more mouth to feed, and no one needs that right now.
(Simon)
Every time I tried to read something in one of my school books, my mind wandered. I thought of my parents. I didn't want to think about the crash, and how scared they must have been. I didn't want to hear their screams or the grinding crunch of metal against metal. I didn't want to imagine my mother looking up, seeing the car coming toward her from the other lane. I didn't want to feel the helplessness of knowing there was nothing they could do but hope and pray for the best.
Or maybe they never saw it coming. It was dark, they were coming home from a New Year's Eve party. Maybe they were so happy and giddy from the party that they felt carefree and maybe they were driving home thinking about how wonderful the new year might be. Maybe, just maybe they never saw it coming, and even if they felt it happen, they were both dead on the scene before the ambulance got there, so maybe they didn't suffer.
That would be my prayer. Of course if God didn't answer my dad's prayers, and my dad was a minister, why would I think he would answer mine? I'm just a preacher's kid. I *was* a preacher's kid. I used to be a preacher's kid. Now I'm nobody's kid.
I have always gone to church because we had to, because Dad was preaching and we were all expected to go. I never went because I wanted to, or because I felt moved to go.
God won't answer my prayers. Why should he? I'm no one to him. I'm just a kid who lost his parents in a terrible car accident. Car accidents are one of the leading causes of death in America. They happen every day, in every city. Of course I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, to my family. I guess I thought we were safe with Dad being a minister and all. I thought God took care of his own.
~.*.~
(Lucy)
Kevin and I each picked up one of the twins to carry them to bed. Halfway up the stairs I felt my stomach bottom out, like it did when I first heard about the accident. My parents should be taking the boys upstairs. Mom would have given them a bath tonight, and they would already be in the pajamas.
"Should we change them?" Kevin asked.
I shook my head. "I don't want to wake them." They were wearing sweat pants and a polo type shirt, so they should be comfortable enough. "Besides, they take naps in their clothes."
"Okay. But we should take their shoes off, at least."
"Yeah."
I hadn't looked in my parents' room on the way up. I didn't want to see it. Somehow it seemed wrong to look in there knowing they were gone. That was their room, and even though I had been in and out of there a thousand times, I felt like a trespasser just thinking about it now.
I looked at Kevin, and he seemed to know what I was thinking. He stepped up tot he door and pulled it closed. We would deal with that, with their room, later, after the funeral. If the church let us keep the house, I would just as soon leave my parent's room just like it was. Kevin and I could take the attic bedroom, Ruthie could have her old room, Simon could stay in his room or take the garage apartment if he wanted it.
How could I be thinking about stuff like that? My parents were dead less than twenty-four hours, and I was already planning sleeping arrangements in their absence. What kind of daughter was I?
Kevin put his arms around me. "It's going to be okay, Luce. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you'll see. We'll get a routine going in the next few days..."
I shook my head. I didn't want to be okay. I didn't want to 'get a routine going' without my parents.
"I'm going to check on Simon and Ruthie." I pulled away from him. Simon's door was open just a crack. I peeked in to see him sprawled out on his bed with his school books scattered around him. His head was on his arm, eyes closed. His dog Happy lay against him, her head on his back. She sighed but didn't move, and I decided not to go in and clean up the mess around him.
"He's asleep," I told Kevin. And I envied him because I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep.
"I'll go with you," Kevin offered when I started up the steps to the attic bedroom Ruthie and I shared. So he felt it too. I worried about Ruthie, more than the others. I remembered being twelve and even though I wasn't angry at the world I had a chip on my shoulder and I felt like the world was against me. I wondered if Kevin felt the same all those years ago.
I trudged up the steps, and it seemed a steeper climb than I remembered. Seemed like forever since I had been to my room, and it had only been last night. Last night, when my parents were still alive and still coming home.
Damn it, why did thy have to go to that stupid party? They don't even...didn't even like Mr. Wilkes. Why would they go to his stupid New Year's Eve party? Dad never liked to go out on New Year's Eve, and he would never let Matt or Mary or me go out either, because of all the drunks on the road.
If they hadn't gone to that party...I would be going up to bed now, instead of checking on Ruthie. A current of panic filled me and drummed through my vins. The room was empty. "Kevin?"
"What, honey?"
"She's not here."
"What? Maybe she's in the bathroom..." He looked at the same time I did. The bathroom door was wide open.
"No. She's gone. She's gone, Kevin. She's gone..."
*.~.*
Author's Request: Please read and review. Constructive criticism welcome. Please don't flame.
The Road Home
By Dark Inzanity (c) 2002
Chapter 3
Gone
(Ruthie)
I watched them and I wondered how they could be so...so calm, like nothing had happened. Lucy laughed and smiled and threw her arms around Kevin's neck. They hugged and kissed and caressed each other's hair and face and neck. They never acted like that when Mom and Dad were around.
But I didn't say anything to them. I'm just a kid, they wouldn't listen to me anyway. And they're happy. Lucy looks really happy. Maybe she's glad Mom and Dad are gone so she and Kevin can live happily ever after without the parents looking over their shoulders. Kevin's mom is all the way across the country, Matt and Mary are too. It's just Lucy and Kevin now.
"Are you going to the apartment tonight? Because I was thinking, maybe you should stay here."
"We're not married yet, Luce."
"I meant on the sofa." She slapped his shoulder playfully. He laughed and smiled and kissed her again, swinging her up in his arms.
I left them in the kitchen without getting the snack I wanted. I just didn't feel very hungry all of a sudden.
I wonder what will happen to me, Simon, and the twins. Simon's almost seventeen. In another year he'll be an adult. I'm only twelve. I've got five and a half years to worry about who's in charge of my life.
It isn't fair. My parents were good people. Dad gave his life to the church. He worshipped God every day of his life. Maybe this was his punishment for the weeks after his heart surgery, when he questioned his faith. But it's not fair. He got his faith back, he found his way back to the church, and he recommitted to serving God. I don't understand why God would take him away just when he found himself again.
And Mom too. Mom never did anything, but maybe nag a little too much. But who could blame her? She had seven kids, two new babies just when the rest of us were getting old enough to start taking care of ourselves. Sam and David would probably never know Matt and Mary anyway, especially now.
They may not even know each other very long if the state gets a hold of them. Maybe Matt and Sarah will take us in. But they have school and 36 hour shifts at the hospital. They're not going to want the added stress of four children. Sam and David are a lot of work. Simon is even more work because he's a teenager. He's so moody and irritable. And I'm almost a teenager.
I don't want to be a bother to anyone. Maybe I should just pack up a few things and go. No one would really miss me. They might be worried and upset when they realize I'm gone, but once they get over the initial shock of it, they'll be fine. I'm just one more mouth to feed, and no one needs that right now.
(Simon)
Every time I tried to read something in one of my school books, my mind wandered. I thought of my parents. I didn't want to think about the crash, and how scared they must have been. I didn't want to hear their screams or the grinding crunch of metal against metal. I didn't want to imagine my mother looking up, seeing the car coming toward her from the other lane. I didn't want to feel the helplessness of knowing there was nothing they could do but hope and pray for the best.
Or maybe they never saw it coming. It was dark, they were coming home from a New Year's Eve party. Maybe they were so happy and giddy from the party that they felt carefree and maybe they were driving home thinking about how wonderful the new year might be. Maybe, just maybe they never saw it coming, and even if they felt it happen, they were both dead on the scene before the ambulance got there, so maybe they didn't suffer.
That would be my prayer. Of course if God didn't answer my dad's prayers, and my dad was a minister, why would I think he would answer mine? I'm just a preacher's kid. I *was* a preacher's kid. I used to be a preacher's kid. Now I'm nobody's kid.
I have always gone to church because we had to, because Dad was preaching and we were all expected to go. I never went because I wanted to, or because I felt moved to go.
God won't answer my prayers. Why should he? I'm no one to him. I'm just a kid who lost his parents in a terrible car accident. Car accidents are one of the leading causes of death in America. They happen every day, in every city. Of course I never thought anything like this would ever happen to me, to my family. I guess I thought we were safe with Dad being a minister and all. I thought God took care of his own.
~.*.~
(Lucy)
Kevin and I each picked up one of the twins to carry them to bed. Halfway up the stairs I felt my stomach bottom out, like it did when I first heard about the accident. My parents should be taking the boys upstairs. Mom would have given them a bath tonight, and they would already be in the pajamas.
"Should we change them?" Kevin asked.
I shook my head. "I don't want to wake them." They were wearing sweat pants and a polo type shirt, so they should be comfortable enough. "Besides, they take naps in their clothes."
"Okay. But we should take their shoes off, at least."
"Yeah."
I hadn't looked in my parents' room on the way up. I didn't want to see it. Somehow it seemed wrong to look in there knowing they were gone. That was their room, and even though I had been in and out of there a thousand times, I felt like a trespasser just thinking about it now.
I looked at Kevin, and he seemed to know what I was thinking. He stepped up tot he door and pulled it closed. We would deal with that, with their room, later, after the funeral. If the church let us keep the house, I would just as soon leave my parent's room just like it was. Kevin and I could take the attic bedroom, Ruthie could have her old room, Simon could stay in his room or take the garage apartment if he wanted it.
How could I be thinking about stuff like that? My parents were dead less than twenty-four hours, and I was already planning sleeping arrangements in their absence. What kind of daughter was I?
Kevin put his arms around me. "It's going to be okay, Luce. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you'll see. We'll get a routine going in the next few days..."
I shook my head. I didn't want to be okay. I didn't want to 'get a routine going' without my parents.
"I'm going to check on Simon and Ruthie." I pulled away from him. Simon's door was open just a crack. I peeked in to see him sprawled out on his bed with his school books scattered around him. His head was on his arm, eyes closed. His dog Happy lay against him, her head on his back. She sighed but didn't move, and I decided not to go in and clean up the mess around him.
"He's asleep," I told Kevin. And I envied him because I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep.
"I'll go with you," Kevin offered when I started up the steps to the attic bedroom Ruthie and I shared. So he felt it too. I worried about Ruthie, more than the others. I remembered being twelve and even though I wasn't angry at the world I had a chip on my shoulder and I felt like the world was against me. I wondered if Kevin felt the same all those years ago.
I trudged up the steps, and it seemed a steeper climb than I remembered. Seemed like forever since I had been to my room, and it had only been last night. Last night, when my parents were still alive and still coming home.
Damn it, why did thy have to go to that stupid party? They don't even...didn't even like Mr. Wilkes. Why would they go to his stupid New Year's Eve party? Dad never liked to go out on New Year's Eve, and he would never let Matt or Mary or me go out either, because of all the drunks on the road.
If they hadn't gone to that party...I would be going up to bed now, instead of checking on Ruthie. A current of panic filled me and drummed through my vins. The room was empty. "Kevin?"
"What, honey?"
"She's not here."
"What? Maybe she's in the bathroom..." He looked at the same time I did. The bathroom door was wide open.
"No. She's gone. She's gone, Kevin. She's gone..."
*.~.*