The Road Home
Chapter 6
**Note: Cypher, you suggested making sure I got the chapter number right when I posted chapters…The actual written chapter number is behind the ff.net chapter posted by one because the first post is a prologue, making chapter one show as chapter 2 in the pull down chapter menu. Sorry for any confusion that may cause, but there's nothing to be done, as ff.net does not offer a default prologue option. (I do appreciate the suggestion, as I would definitely want to be correct if I was in error! So thank you, Cypher for pointing out a potential mistake)
(Simon)
Sarah's father, Rabbi Glass, and Dad's assistant pastor Chandler Hampton both spoke at the funeral. Dad would have wanted it that way. He and Rabbi Glass had an interesting relationship, a mutual respect of sorts, after Matt and Sarah were married. And despite a shakey beginning, Dad and Chandler eventually learned to work together and make a great ministering team. I wondered how Chandler would do on his own, though I didn't really care. It was something to think about instead of the terrible harsh reality of burying my parents.
I felt pretty numb during the funeral. I kept hoping Ruthie would show up, but she didn't. And when it was over, Lucy, Matt, Mary, and I stood by the caskets for a long time. No one said a word. I wondered if I should pray or talk to them in my head. I didn't know what to say, and my mind raced with a thousand thoughts and images, and finally Matt had to pull me away and I fell against him crying, moaning. The sounds I made didn't even sound human.
"It's gonna be okay," Matt said. "It's gonna be hard, but we're gonna get through this."
His words didn't really comfort me, but I let him think hey did. I calmed down by sheer determination and focus on my breathing. In, out, in, out. One, two, three, four. In, out, in, out.
I wanted to cry. I wasn't even sure I had any tears left in me. But I felt like crying. I felt like curling up in a ball in a dark room. I missed my mom, my dad, and my sister. I really thought Ruthie was going to show up at the funeral. The fact she didn't…Well, that scared me.
What if she was hurt? She could be hurt somewhere and no one would even know. She might even die. Alone. And no one would ever know who she was. What if she never came home? How long would we keep hoping and praying? How long would the twins remember her?
So far they hadn't even asked about her. But there was a lot going on, Matt and Mary were home, Grandparents were there, friends and parishioners from the church were always at the house. We were always busy, and the boys were often left alone to play in their bedroom. I tried to spend some time with them, but sometimes I just couldn't get away from all the people, and when I could get away I needed to be alone.
I wanted to be alone as soon as we got home from the funeral. A lot of the mourners came back to the house, and many of them brought food. Kevin asked me to be in charge of putting the food away. I did it because it had to be done, and because it gave me something to do.
I kept looking out the back door, thinking I saw Ruthie out there. Mostly it was just other people walking around, talking, using my parent's death as an excuse to socialize.
"Simon," a voice called me away from trying to find room for a casserole in the fridge. "How are you?"
I decided not to tell Aunt Julie the truth about how I felt. "I'm okay."
"Are you?"
I shook my head, but still didn't tell her the truth. She didn't need to know I was thinking about walking out the door like Ruthie did. I had a few hundred dollars saved up, I could survive on that for a long time. And maybe, just maybe, I could find Ruthie while I was at it.
"I'll be okay. My parents are dead. I'm not." The harshness of my own words shocked even me.
Aunt Julie nodded. "It's going to be a big adjustment."
"I know."
"For all of you. I just wanted to let you know you are always welcome to come stay with Hank and me."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." She hugged me, squeezed just a little. It felt good. I felt good for about two seconds, until she pulled away. I watched her leave and I felt an emptiness where she had just been.
*.~.*
(Kevin)
I watched Lucy and how she seemed to struggle just to talk to someone, anyone who approached her, and I wondered how long she would be able to keep her head up. I wanted to take her away from all this, to some deserted island or something, someplace quiet, just the two of us. She needed to get away from the city, from the pain and the memories and all the well-meaning people who assaulted her with questions about how she was coping with the death of her parents.
I think Ruthie's disappearance actually hit Lucy harder because there were so many questions without answers. Eric and Annie were dead. Ruthie was just gone. Out there. Alone. Or not alone. Probably cold and hungry and lonely. Maybe dead.
Lucy and I didn't really talk about Ruthie. I was a cop, I knew what could happen to a little girl out there on her own. Most of the time, it wasn't good. Unfortunately the world was full of opportunistic people who would just as soon take advantage of a little girl rather than help her find her way back home. I'd seen too many cases, too many little girls who never made it home.
Sergeant Michaels had just come in to the room when I saw Lucy sway. She looked very pale, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Sergeant Michaels saw it took. He and I both moved through the crowded living room to get to her. Sergeant Michaels got there first, but we were both too late.
Lucy fell to the ground. The people close to her all jumped back with little gasps of shock and surprise. I pushed my way through to her and knelt beside her, took her head into my lap.
I stroked her hair and her cheek, and I talked to her softly to try to rouse her. Her eyes fluttered several times before she opened them, and for a moment I wasn't even sure she saw me.
"Kevin?"
"I'm here, I've got you."
"What happened?"
"You passed out."
Sergeant Michaels went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. She sat up to drink it with little baby sips.
"Where are the kids?"
"Out back with Julie and Hank."
She leaned her head against me and sighed. "I'm so tired."
"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you?"
I ended up carrying her upstairs, to her bedroom. I lay her on the bed and covered her up.
"Stay with me." Her eyes were closed.
"I have to go back downstairs. All those people…" Someone had to be downstairs to talk to them, and I couldn't put that on Simon.
"Don't leave me alone. I'm so tired of being alone."
"You're not alone, Luce. I'll be downstairs and I'll come up as soon as I can."
She turned onto her side, facing the wall with her back to me.
"I love you, Luce."
*.~.*
Well, what do you think? Please read and review, it only takes a moment.
Chapter 6
**Note: Cypher, you suggested making sure I got the chapter number right when I posted chapters…The actual written chapter number is behind the ff.net chapter posted by one because the first post is a prologue, making chapter one show as chapter 2 in the pull down chapter menu. Sorry for any confusion that may cause, but there's nothing to be done, as ff.net does not offer a default prologue option. (I do appreciate the suggestion, as I would definitely want to be correct if I was in error! So thank you, Cypher for pointing out a potential mistake)
(Simon)
Sarah's father, Rabbi Glass, and Dad's assistant pastor Chandler Hampton both spoke at the funeral. Dad would have wanted it that way. He and Rabbi Glass had an interesting relationship, a mutual respect of sorts, after Matt and Sarah were married. And despite a shakey beginning, Dad and Chandler eventually learned to work together and make a great ministering team. I wondered how Chandler would do on his own, though I didn't really care. It was something to think about instead of the terrible harsh reality of burying my parents.
I felt pretty numb during the funeral. I kept hoping Ruthie would show up, but she didn't. And when it was over, Lucy, Matt, Mary, and I stood by the caskets for a long time. No one said a word. I wondered if I should pray or talk to them in my head. I didn't know what to say, and my mind raced with a thousand thoughts and images, and finally Matt had to pull me away and I fell against him crying, moaning. The sounds I made didn't even sound human.
"It's gonna be okay," Matt said. "It's gonna be hard, but we're gonna get through this."
His words didn't really comfort me, but I let him think hey did. I calmed down by sheer determination and focus on my breathing. In, out, in, out. One, two, three, four. In, out, in, out.
I wanted to cry. I wasn't even sure I had any tears left in me. But I felt like crying. I felt like curling up in a ball in a dark room. I missed my mom, my dad, and my sister. I really thought Ruthie was going to show up at the funeral. The fact she didn't…Well, that scared me.
What if she was hurt? She could be hurt somewhere and no one would even know. She might even die. Alone. And no one would ever know who she was. What if she never came home? How long would we keep hoping and praying? How long would the twins remember her?
So far they hadn't even asked about her. But there was a lot going on, Matt and Mary were home, Grandparents were there, friends and parishioners from the church were always at the house. We were always busy, and the boys were often left alone to play in their bedroom. I tried to spend some time with them, but sometimes I just couldn't get away from all the people, and when I could get away I needed to be alone.
I wanted to be alone as soon as we got home from the funeral. A lot of the mourners came back to the house, and many of them brought food. Kevin asked me to be in charge of putting the food away. I did it because it had to be done, and because it gave me something to do.
I kept looking out the back door, thinking I saw Ruthie out there. Mostly it was just other people walking around, talking, using my parent's death as an excuse to socialize.
"Simon," a voice called me away from trying to find room for a casserole in the fridge. "How are you?"
I decided not to tell Aunt Julie the truth about how I felt. "I'm okay."
"Are you?"
I shook my head, but still didn't tell her the truth. She didn't need to know I was thinking about walking out the door like Ruthie did. I had a few hundred dollars saved up, I could survive on that for a long time. And maybe, just maybe, I could find Ruthie while I was at it.
"I'll be okay. My parents are dead. I'm not." The harshness of my own words shocked even me.
Aunt Julie nodded. "It's going to be a big adjustment."
"I know."
"For all of you. I just wanted to let you know you are always welcome to come stay with Hank and me."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." She hugged me, squeezed just a little. It felt good. I felt good for about two seconds, until she pulled away. I watched her leave and I felt an emptiness where she had just been.
*.~.*
(Kevin)
I watched Lucy and how she seemed to struggle just to talk to someone, anyone who approached her, and I wondered how long she would be able to keep her head up. I wanted to take her away from all this, to some deserted island or something, someplace quiet, just the two of us. She needed to get away from the city, from the pain and the memories and all the well-meaning people who assaulted her with questions about how she was coping with the death of her parents.
I think Ruthie's disappearance actually hit Lucy harder because there were so many questions without answers. Eric and Annie were dead. Ruthie was just gone. Out there. Alone. Or not alone. Probably cold and hungry and lonely. Maybe dead.
Lucy and I didn't really talk about Ruthie. I was a cop, I knew what could happen to a little girl out there on her own. Most of the time, it wasn't good. Unfortunately the world was full of opportunistic people who would just as soon take advantage of a little girl rather than help her find her way back home. I'd seen too many cases, too many little girls who never made it home.
Sergeant Michaels had just come in to the room when I saw Lucy sway. She looked very pale, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Sergeant Michaels saw it took. He and I both moved through the crowded living room to get to her. Sergeant Michaels got there first, but we were both too late.
Lucy fell to the ground. The people close to her all jumped back with little gasps of shock and surprise. I pushed my way through to her and knelt beside her, took her head into my lap.
I stroked her hair and her cheek, and I talked to her softly to try to rouse her. Her eyes fluttered several times before she opened them, and for a moment I wasn't even sure she saw me.
"Kevin?"
"I'm here, I've got you."
"What happened?"
"You passed out."
Sergeant Michaels went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. She sat up to drink it with little baby sips.
"Where are the kids?"
"Out back with Julie and Hank."
She leaned her head against me and sighed. "I'm so tired."
"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you?"
I ended up carrying her upstairs, to her bedroom. I lay her on the bed and covered her up.
"Stay with me." Her eyes were closed.
"I have to go back downstairs. All those people…" Someone had to be downstairs to talk to them, and I couldn't put that on Simon.
"Don't leave me alone. I'm so tired of being alone."
"You're not alone, Luce. I'll be downstairs and I'll come up as soon as I can."
She turned onto her side, facing the wall with her back to me.
"I love you, Luce."
*.~.*
Well, what do you think? Please read and review, it only takes a moment.