Disclaimer

I am a poor starving artist with no intentions of making money off of this. I own absolutely none of the characters herein, and have created this sheerly for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of anyone who reads it. Please don't sue me.

This Side Down

Part Four

No Need for Pride

"There, all done!" Tofu-sensei sat back and grinned. "How does it feel now?"

Tanaka-san flexed the arm and nodded. "Like new. Excellent work as always, sensei. I'll pay your receptionist on the way out."

"Ummm...I'm afraid she's quit..." Tofu-sensei looked embarrassed. "I guess you'll have to pay me...let me get the books."

Akane's voice called in from the waiting room. "Tofu-sensei - a patient for you!"

"One moment." He finished writing out the reciept, handed it to Tanaka-san, then went out to the waiting room.

"Kami-sama!"

The young man sitting in the chair was badly beaten. Many of his joints seemed to be angled the wrong way. The look on his face told of considerable pain. Tofu assisted him into the examination room, then examined his wounds.

"This is astounding. The injury here on his side - from a bokuto? - is bad enough, but these other dislocations and contusions...this is brutal! What kind of thug did this to him?"

"...ummm..."

Akane's face was flushed, and she was carefully examining her feet.

Tofu looked at her. Hard.

"Akane...you did this?"

She bit her lip.

"...umm...well...that is..."

Tofu slapped the bed. "I knew it! I knew I'd seen this damage pattern before!" He laughed. "The way this joint's twisted backwards, for instance. That's Akane's touch, all right!" He grabbed Tenchi's shoulder and twisted the arm. "You're Masaki Tenchi, aren't you?" His fist slammed into Tenchi's back. "I hear you're engaged to marry one of the Tendo sisters."

Akane flushed. "It was our parents' decision, not ours!"

"Well, it's still too early for you to marry, Tenchi. I mean, you're just a kid, right?"

Akane looked down. I'm sixteen, too...just like Tenchi. Just a little kid...

"Ow! Uh, sensei?"

"Yes, Tenchi?"

Tenchi opened his mouth to gripe about the manhandling he'd received...then realized that all his joints were working again. "Hey, not bad, sensei. What do I owe you?"

"No worries. I'll just write you in under the Tendo's medical insurance..."

"I can pay, sensei...and I'd rather pull my own weight." Tenchi pulled out his wallet and extracted a few bills. "Now, how much?"

Tofu-sensei eyed him. "Well, if you insist on paying...I guess I'll just charge you four thousand yen."

"Sounds fair." Tenchi counted out four thousand and handed it to the doctor. Tofu-sensei carefully filled out a reciept.

"I really need a new secretary..."

"Just a moment, Tenchi."

Night had fallen during their visit with Tofu-sensei, and Tenchi and Akane were just leaving. Tenchi turned and walked back to the doctor.

"Whether or not you two end up engaged, I think you should really try to look past today's incident. Akane's a very sweet girl; she just has problems controlling her anger."

"I think I saw that. Both parts, not just the anger. But I really think she overreacted to...what I said to her."

Tofu-sensei grinned. "And what did you say?"

"Ummm...never mind. It wasn't too swift, but..."

Tofu-sensei nodded. Tenchi looked thoughtful. "I'm supposed to be choosing one of the three sisters to marry. I can't see myself continually double-checking everything I ever say. I'm betting she's reacting to the whole engagement thing. Her sisters almost managed to get her engaged to me without her say-so."

"I can see Nabiki doing that, but not Kasumi..."

Tenchi grinned. "I think I scared her when she first met me."

"Defend yourself, Tenchi!"

Tenchi and Genma were once again sparring over the Tendo koi pond. Tenchi did not have his bokuto at this point - he had decided that if he was going to be attacked fairly often, it was unlikely that he would have a sword to defend himself. Thus, today he was bare-handed.

SPLASH

And losing.

"Tenchi! Saotome-san! Breakfast time!"

"Ah, thank you, Kasumi-chan!" Genma grinned broadly. Breakfast was his favourite time of the day. Except for lunch. And, of course, dinner. And, of course, that little snack right before--

WHAM

Tenchi pulled back her fist and watched her father windmilling at the edge of the pond. Genma managed to stabilize himself.

"Can't you do better than that, boy?"

"Damn. Come on, let's go eat."

The two crossed the compound and stepped up into the Tendo family room. "Incidentally, I've got a part time job. I start work today."

Tenchi had stopped on the deck and removed her shirt to wring it out. "That's good. About time you stopped freeloading."

"The same could be said for you."

Nabiki piped up. "Actually, Tenchi's been helping out around the house a lot. Not to mention that he's got a little bit of money salted away."

"Oh? Where?"

"Where you won't find it, Pop. I know you - you'd be off to the drug store faster than a speeding bullet, and coming back with cigarettes, sake and no money."

Soun wandered in, brushing his teeth. "Had a good workout this morning, Tenchi?"

"Ah, good morning, Tendo-san!"

It filtered through Soun's sleep-fogged mind that Tenchi was female...and topless. He lost control of the toothbrush.

Akane stomped over. "Have you no feminine modesty?" She poured hot water from the kettle onto Tenchi.

"Ack! Too hot! Sorry, Tendo-san. Still not used to my female body..."

"Oh, Tenchi, a package arrived for you this morning."

Tenchi grinned. "Finally, my stuff is here!" He grabbed the package from Kasumi and ripped it open. "More jeans, more T-shirts, a bokuto, my old school uniforms - not much use here - hello, a letter from Grandfather." He opened the envelope and extracted the letter.

Dear Tenchi,

I hope that this package finds you in good health. I'm sure that by now you've settled in at the Tendo-ke. If you haven't, I'm encouraging you to do so.

Nodoka has been hounding me for news of you, and I've told her that you're well, but have deliberately not told her where you are. If you want her to know, you can tell her yourself. If you need more time, then you have it.

I know you went in the cave, Tenchi. I hope that what you found there lives up to your expectations, and that it's not too much for you to handle.

I've sent a cheque with this letter. Open a bank account and send me the number. I'll forward the same amount to the account every month. You are to pay the Tendos for room and board with it. Whatever Soun charges you should be fair, and should leave you some extra for spending money and other expenses.

Stay well.

-Masaki Katsuhito

Tenchi looked up from the letter. "Tendo-san, I have been instructed by my Grandfather to pay you room and board."

"That won't be necessary--"

"I'm afraid that it will. How much?"

Soun turned to Nabiki. "This is your job."

Nabiki grinned. "Well, this month is covered. I got ten thousand yen from Kuno for those pics, and you got here in the last week of the month. Plus, you have been helping out. But starting next month..." She pulled out her ledger and abacus, did some quick figuring. "You're a pretty hefty eater, and you take more hot baths than most, but if you continue to help with the garden and repairs, I think that eighty thousand a month should cover the rest."

Tenchi unfolded the cheque and glanced at it. "Sure you can't go higher on that?"

"Huh?" Nabiki shook her head. "I don't get it. You want to spend more money?"

"Nabiki, just my grocery bill would be more than eighty thousand. My helping out is fine - I'd do the gardening for free, I love gardening - but the household needs cash as well, ne?"

"Fine." She did some more figures. "I wasn't going to charge you for the room, since we have it anyway, but...how does one thirty sound?"

"Done." Tenchi set the cheque on the table. "Grandfather sent me two hundred thousand, and says he's going to send me the same amount each month."

"How can he afford that?" Kasumi looked puzzled. "Doesn't he run a shrine? Is it a very popular shrine?"

"I don't know where he gets the money, but he seems to have a godawful amount of it. Once the house was hit by lightning and completely destroyed. He shrugged and built a bigger one on the same place."

Genma nodded. "It is true. The Masaki family has always been independantly wealthy. They have always chosen to live near the poverty live, however. But this is wonderful! Now I don't need that job!"

"Wrong." Nabiki grinned viciously. "That figure was just for Tenchi. Now you, on the other hand..." She turned back to her ledger and abacus. "You eat a lot more than Tenchi, though you don't go through the hot water as quickly. Guess you like being a panda, huh? If Tenchi's really kind, he might share his room with you, but just your grocery bill is going to be one hundred thousand a month."

"And, no, I will not give you any money, Pop." Tenchi grinned.

"But will you share the room?"

"I'll think about it. But for now...Nabiki, I need to open a bank account. Can you recommend one?"

"No problem. After school I'll take you there myself."

"Done!"

"Oh, I almost forgot." Kasumi picked up a book. "Akane, on your way home from school, can you drop by Tofu-sensei's office? I borrowed this book from him, and I'd like you to return it for me."

"Ummm...I can't, Kasumi. I'm busy after school."

Tenchi frowned. "What are you doing tonight? No clubs on a Monday that you're part of...'

"I just don't have time!" Akane grabbed his hand. "We're late, let's go!" She ran from the room, dragging Tenchi behind her.

"Wait, I haven't finished breakfast!"

"Okay, Akane, what's got you steamed?"

Tenchi - who was currently female due to a run-in with an old woman watering her sidewalk - and Akane were nearly at the school. Akane hadn't said three words during their walk to the school.

"Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?"

Tenchi rolled her eyes. "I don't understand what I might have said wrong there. Perhaps you could tell me?"

Akane looked up, and her features darkened. She started charging forward, then slowed when she realized that the horde of boys ahead were not attacking.

"Well? What are you waiting for?"

One of the boys stepped forward. "We will no longer attack you, Akane. We all know that Tenchi asked you out on a date, you said yes, and Kuno did not stop you. And we know that Tenchi has successfully defeated Kuno..."

"This is a base, deceitful rumour, lacking in substance." Kuno stepped forward. Though covered in bandages, he still managed to attempt to look imposing. "Masaki Tenchi is a dishonourable cur, and incapable of defeating a true swordsman in combat."

Tenchi grinned. "Of course, Kuno." She turned to Akane. "Let's go."

"Ah! It is the beauteous fire-haired lass who graces these fair halls of learning with her--urk-!"

Tenchi removed her fist from Kuno's gut and walked past him. "Y'know, usually I don't like pounding on people. But I think this is the only way to get through to this guy."

Akane nodded. She'd learned this a long time ago.

"So what's the deal? Why were you so mad at me?"

Tenchi and Akane were seated under a tree near the school wall. It had not been a conscious decision to have lunch together; it was just that neither could think of a reason not to.

"Do we have to talk about this?"

"Yes."

Akane glared at him.

"Look, unless I know what I did, I can't fix it or avoid it in the future. Whatever it was, do you want me to do it again?"

She sighed. "No. Tofu-sensei is madly in love with Kasumi."

Tenchi closed his eyes. "Oh, man...and you love him."

She whirled to face him. "What?! How do you know that?"

"Oh, come on! I've seen the way you look at him - and you'd hardly freak on me for what I said unless you really liked him."

She sighed again. "Yeah. I've liked him since I was...oh, twelve, I'd say. But even then, when he was still quite young, and had just started his practise, it was Kasumi-oneechan who caught his eye. And she was still only fifteen!" She looked indignant. "I mean, she was just a kid!"

"So were you."

"That was different. It was me who loved him. Kasumi doesn't even realize that he loves her. Even though he loses his mind every time she's near him."

"Loses his mind."

"Yeah." She stabbed angrily at her lunch with a chopstick. "He gets confused, he can't recognize people, and he loses control over himself. If he's trying to treat someone at the time, he can severely injure them, and not even notice."

"That's not too good."

"He sometimes ends up running through the streets of Nerima with his skeleton on his back. I imagine he figures that it's Kasumi, and he's giving her a lift or something..."

Tenchi chuckled. "Oh, come on! No one gets that excited about a person."

"You don't believe me?"

"No!"

She pointed. Tenchi looked.

Along the Furinkan High border wall ran Tofu-sensei, Betty the skeleton on his back. There was a glazed look on his face, his glasses were fogged, and he was laughing like an idiot. As he leapt over the gate, he turned a pirouette, spinning Betty around him by the hand.

"Ouch. If that was Kasumi, she'd be in some pain..."

Akane picked at her lunch. "He loses his mind, he's so in love with her. And she can't see it. And he'd never act so silly on my behalf."

Tenchi shook his head. What a mess. He opened the bento and started eating.

"It's very good, isn't it?" Akane's voice was almost a whisper.

"Huh?"

"The food. Very good, isn't it?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so. Kasumi's a good cook."

"I'm not." She pulled her legs close to her chest, put her head on her knees. "Kasumi's a better cook than me, she's prettier than me, she's smarter than me--"

"Whoa, there, Akane. Look, I don't know if she's a better cook - I've never eaten anything you've cooked - but I think you're the cutest of the three, and you're no dummy. You were solving problems in Math today that I couldn't even read. And Kasumi will never be the martial artist you are."

"But that doesn't matter anymore, either." She looked at him. "Dad has decided that you'll be the heir to the dojo. The only reason I bothered learning the Art in the first place, and the only thing I could do better than either sister. And now you're here to take it away from me..."

Tenchi held his tongue. He knew she was right.

"But thank you for trying to cheer me up." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "And for calling me cute." She stood up and walked away, leaving Tenchi sitting on the ground, bento face down in front of him, looking slightly dazed.

The final bell rang, and the students of Home Form 1-F boiled out of the classroom. For most students, the end of class simply signaled the start of the clubs. Though you were not strictly required to join a club, it was thought odd at best and downright antisocial at worst if you did not.

Tenchi did not belong to any club, but was a new student, and therefore had not had time to join any. Nabiki, on the other hand, did not care who thought her antisocial.

The two of them made their way to Nerima's office district, and made it to a bank with only an hour before closing time. And it took most of that hour to set up the bank account. Tenchi had no identification with a current address, and it took most of Nabiki's charm - and more than a little of her influence - to get the account settled.

As they left the bank, Tenchi mopped his brow in relief.

"Boy, am I glad that's over."

Nabiki bit her lip and stared into space.

"Yo, Nabiki-chan. You alive in there?"

"I hope you realize just how much you owe me for this. I expended a lot of favours for something so trivial."

"Ummm...I guess, if you want to look at it that way. So I think I'll make it up to you, starting now."

"Oh?" She cocked her head and eyed him. "Do tell."

"I know this great Italian restaurant, and there's a good film on at the BG theatre...that is, if you like Jackie Chan..."

She grinned. "A date? Wouldn't that be you owing me more? My time is not cheap."

"Neither is mine." He grinned back at her.

"All right, you're on."

The restaurant was indeed very good, and low-priced into the bargain. Nabiki glanced over the menu, looked for the most expensive thing on it...then decided to go with something else.

After all, that shrimp dish won't even put a dent into his resources - things are too cheap here, and his resources too great.

Once their orders had been taken by the waitress - who seemed bemused by the couple for no apparent reason - Tenchi leaned forward and looked at Nabiki. "So...tell me all about yourself."

Nabiki felt like a deer caught in oncoming headlights.

"Ummm...I'm..." She struggled for a minute, then laughed. "That's an awfully hard order to fulfill. Let me reverse it. What do you want to know about me?"

"Well, let's start with your likes and dislikes."

"Didn't you already have this conversation with Akane?"

"Yep. And I intend to have it with Kasumi as well."

She grinned. "Trying out the whole set, eh?"

"Well, it seems that I simply have to marry one of you three."

"And you'd like it to be one you can at least stand, right?" She considered. I could sell him my standard dossier...no, for some reason I think that would be bad...

"All right then. Likes. I like money, good food - and junk food - manga, and photography. I also like solving problems." She shrugged. "Nothing intrigues me more than a puzzle that I don't know the answer to.

"Dislikes. I don't really care for martial arts. Daddy made me learn at least a bit, so I could defend myself against street thugs, but I never really got into it to the level that Akane and Kasumi did."

"Whoa - Kasumi, a martial artist?"

"Don't let appearances deceive, Tenchi-kun. Kasumi trained for about five years under Daddy, which is four more than I did, and she topped it off with Zen Archery, which she's practised since she was twelve."

"But 'not really caring' for something isn't really a dislike. I don't really care for mashed potatoes, but I wouldn't list it among my dislikes."

"True. I do enjoy it, somewhat." She shrugged. "But I could easily live without it. Since you obviously enjoy martial arts, I figured you should know."

"Fair enough. But please, go on."

"Very well." She paused for a moment, as their orders arrived. "In the list of things I absolutely despise...I hate being lied to. Can't stand it. And I hate to see anyone attacking my family. Any kind of attack - Kuno-sempai, for instance, the way he's chasing both you and Akane."

Tenchi shuddered. "Please...don't remind me."

She grinned. "Sorry." She leaned forward. "And now it's your turn. What are your likes and dislikes?"

"I think you already know most of them."

"True. But it's only fair."

"All right. You obviously know that I enjoy martial arts - especially batto jutsu and kendo. I also like good food and money - I think those are universals - as well as gardening. I don't like Kuno."

"I think that's a universal."

"I think you're right." He laughed. "I also don't like being woken up on a Sunday, the only day I get to sleep in. And I detest this curse."

"You seem well adjusted to it."

"You think so?" He scowled. "It can happen any time, just splash!, and I'm a girl. There's lots worse things than being a girl, but it's damned inconvenient. And cold water is so much more common than hot. Just to make matters worse, my clothes don't fit in female form, and I have to worry about my pants falling down. That would be far too embarrassing! So if ever I get a chance to remove the curse somehow...it's gone."

"Tadaima!"

Tenchi and Nabiki stepped into the house, pausing to remove their shoes. Tenchi glanced at the clock hanging on the wall.

"Almost ten - we were out later than I thought."

"I had fun." Nabiki suddenly darted forward, and kissed him on the cheek. "See you tomorrow." She ran up the stairs. Tenchi watched her go, a trace of a smile on his face.

Akane, sitting quietly in the family room, watched the scene before her, biting her lip in concern.