Disclaimer
I am a poor starving artist with no intentions of making money off of this. I own absolutely none of the characters herein, and have created this sheerly for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of anyone who reads it. Please don't sue me.
This Side Down
Part Six
No Need For A Haircut
Ryouga looked at the sign in front of him. "Tendo dojo...this must be where Tenchi's staying." He walked in through the front gates after only two false starts, then knocked on the front door. Well, actually, he knocked on the shogi overlooking the pond.
Akane opened the shogi and looked bemusedly at the young man standing on the porch. "May I help you?"
"Err...am I still at the Tendo dojo?"
"...yes."
"Ah...is Tenchi here?"
"At the moment he is, though he and Kasumi are leaving in a minute. Please, come in." She turned and called up the stairs. "Tenchi! You have a visitor."
"Who is it?"
Ryouga grinned. "It's me, Tenchi."
"Hey, Ryouga! Glad you managed to find the place." Tenchi came down the stairs, dressed in his Chinese silk clothing. "I'm afraid you've caught me on the way out, though."
"Ummm, sorry about that."
"No problems. Anyway, what did you want?"
"Well...I wanted to apologize for wandering off like I did."
"It's okay. I understood."
Ryouga reddened slightly. "Just once, I wish you didn't have to say that. Really, I hate my curse..." He glanced up. "I also wanted to spar. But if you're going out..."
Akane piped up. "I'd be willing to spar with you."
"...Huh?" Ryouga glanced over at her.
"Well, Tenchi is going out with Kasumi-oneechan, and Nabiki's out visiting a friend. So you'd be doing me a favour." She bowed towards him.
"Ummm..." Ryouga rubbed the back of his head.
Tenchi took pity on him. "Ryouga, Akane is a very skilled martial artist. You might even find her a challenge." He grinned. "After all, she beat me."
Akane flushed.
"All right, I guess..." Ryouga chuckled. "It just seems odd, is all."
"What's that?"
"Well, I came to spar with Tenchi, and Akane offers to fight me...it just seems...I dunno..." He shook his head, grinning. "All right, Akane. Where's the dojo?"
Akane giggled and grabbed his hand. "Come on, this way." She led him from the room.
Kasumi came down the stairs. Tenchi turned and offered an arm.
"Daddy built the dojo many years ago, before I was born. He and Mom were the only practicioners of the Tendo School of Unrestricted Grappling, though Mom stopped practicing as much after Kasumi was born. Both of them wanted to pass on the school to their children, and keep the form alive."
"It's a nice dojo." Ryouga looked around the room, noted the shrine, the iroha and the small equipment closet. The dojo's walls were in good shape, though he noted that the bamboo walls made for quick and easy repair. The beams of the roof were massive timbers, with a few ropes hanging from them to support dummies and targets. At the moment, all of the ropes were tied back, and the tatami was clear of any equipment save two cinder blocks in the corner.
Akane crossed the tatami and turned to face Ryouga. "Do you have a gi in that pack, or are you just gonna fight in your street clothes?"
"If I am attacked, I doubt my assailant will give me time to change my clothes." He pulled his umbrella free and dropped his pack against the wall. He turned and faced Akane, umbrella at the ready.
"Ummm...what's with the umbrella?"
"Uh? Oh, it's my weapon of choice."
"...right."
"No, really." He crossed over to her, held the umbrella out in his left hand. "Here, try holding it."
She smirked, reached out and grabbed the umbrella from his grasp.
And was promptly pulled down by its weight to the floor.
"Ow--What's this thing made out of?"
"I'm not sure." He picked it up. "If you want, I can fight bare-handed. Normally, when Tenchi and I spar, I use this and he uses a bokuto."
"Ouch. Yeah, bare-handed is good." She bowed to the shrine and the iroha, then to her opponent. Ryouga followed suit, then shifted to a ready stance.
Akane launched herself forward, driving a shot at Ryouga's stomach. Ryouga sidestepped, parrying the shot with his right hand and swinging for her head with his left. She ducked under the blow, attempted to foot-sweep him, but he merely jumped over her foot.
For almost five minutes they exchanged blows, neither managing to get a good hit in. Then Akane stepped back, considering him.
"Damn, you're good."
"Thanks." Ryouga was breathing hard. "You're not bad either...best workout I've had in a while."
She smirked. "We're not done yet." She launched herself into the air.
The Tendo School of Unrestricted Grappling is a martial art based on two concepts: mobility and misdirection. Mostly Akane practised kempo, a very straightforward art. But she was convinced that Ryouga could easily counter any kempo maneuver she knew.
Akane's foot passed through the space formerly occupied by Ryouga's head. Her foot hit one of the massive support beams in the wall, and she allowed her leg to bend, then leapt off the wall. Ryouga was still moving, rolling to his feet, and he reached out and plucked her from the air.
"Yipe!"
Ryouga tossed her across the room, and she rolled to her feet.
"Not bad, Akane, though your kempo is better."
"How..." She stared at him in amazement.
"You forget that I've practised against Tenchi a lot."
"...Right. Tenchi uses Anything Goes for defense." She shook her head, bemused. "I was thinking you'd be able to defeat any kempo move I could come up with."
"The problem is that you don't have enough aerial speed yet. For the moment, I'd say that if you miss with a jumping strike, turn it into a pounce, rather than another jump."
"All right, thanks." She grinned. "You want a drink? I think Kasumi left some lemonade in the fridge."
"All right." He grabbed a towel from his pack and mopped his forehead. "Lead on."
"So Tenchi and Kasumi are dating?"
"Well...kind of."
"Tenchi has always attracted female attention, usually more than he wants. But except for Sayoko, he's never really shown much interest in chasing girls."
"He doesn't like girls?"
"No, not what I mean." Ryouga chuckled. "Tenchi definitely likes girls. You have to understand, Akane. Most guys talk about nothing but girls. With Tenchi it's at least martial arts and girls. But he's never really looked for a girlfriend."
"...oh."
"But I didn't know he was dating Kasumi. I mean, he's always preferred older women."
Akane darkened.
"And I know he loves to eat. I hear Kasumi's a really good cook."
Akane twitched.
"Come to think of it, Kasumi's very much like Tenchi's stepmother. Probably why he likes her."
"All right, enough already!" Akane jumped to her feet and glowered at Ryouga.
"...sorry. What did I say?"
Akane deflated. "I'm sorry, Ryouga. It's just that...I've been very frustrated in the past, and I guess you touched an open nerve."
"Sorry." Ryouga sighed. "I don't have the best tact, I guess."
Akane sat down. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Ryouga." She smiled at him. "You're a really nice guy, you know that? I see why Tenchi likes you so much."
Ryouga looked back at her, eyes wide.
Kami-sama, she's cute when she smiles...
Ryouga bowed to Akane and turned to leave. He wandered in the general direction of the gate, his head awhirl with thoughts.
Tenchi is dating Kasumi. Akane is really nice, and I think she actually likes me. And she's cute! And so nice to people. And twice now she's sought out my company! He smiled. I thought she and Tenchi were dating. And they're not! I can ask her out!
He jumped for joy, one fist raised to the sky, a look of pure happiness on his face.
SPLASH
And landed in the koi pond.
Akane looked up as Nabiki entered the room.
"Oneechan! When did you get back?"
"Just now. Where's Tenchi?"
She sniffed. "On a date with Kasumi."
"Hm." She grinned. "As soon as he realizes how horrible a choice she'd be, he'll come running back to me."
"What?" Akane snarled at her. "What on earth makes you think he'd prefer you? After all, I'm a much better martial artist than you! And he thinks I'm smart! And he thinks I'm cute! And I've been spending some time with his best friend, too!" She smirked. "Obviously, I'm a better choice for him than you."
"Right. Whatever."
SPLASH
"What was that?"
Akane walked over to the shogi and pulled it open. She staggered back as a small black blur shot in through the door.
Nabiki knelt and looked at the black piglet, hunched in the corner.
"A pig?"
Akane walked over and looked at the pig. "Where did that come from?"
"I dunno." Nabiki picked up the pig. "Maybe it's someone's pet. I don't see any tags on its collar, though."
Akane looked at the collar. "Wow. I'm sure I've seen that collar before."
"Where?"
She shook her head. "I can't remember. Maybe he's got a tattoo on the ear?"
Nabiki checked the pig's ear. "Nope." She checked something else. "Though you're right. It's a he. Well, no ownership marks. I guess I can keep him."
"Huh?" Akane stared at her. "You...keeping a pet?"
"Yep. Potbellied pigs are expensive pets." She tucked the pig under her arm. "I'm going for a bath." She walked down the hallway.
Akane shrugged, then went back to her homework.
"That band was really good!" Kasumi's face was lit with happiness. Her step was bouncy, and her expression radiant. Tenchi chuckled as she grabbed his hand and dragged him along.
"Wow, Kasumi. You're sure enjoying this."
"Well..." She giggled. "I'm afraid I don't get out much...this is a nice switch for me. And I've had a lot of fun! I've never eaten at a yatai before!"
"Never?"
"No! Oh, I knew about them, but..." She laughed again. "Oh, my! I always wanted to go out on a date, but I never could!"
"Why not?"
"Well, always right after school, I had to go home to take care of the house." She shrugged, still smiling. "And besides, I never met a guy who was really interested in me."
"Never?" Tenchi thought of the good doctor.
"Well, I know that Tofu-sensei likes me..." She sighed. "You had to bring me out of my good mood, didn't you?"
"Sorry."
"Well, I suppose this had to be covered eventually. Tofu-sensei is a really sweet man, and a lot of fun to be around. But...I don't know. There's just no spark on my side. I mean, I'd never want to date him. It's just not there."
"Akane thinks you just don't notice."
"Well, I suppose I try to make it look that way. He's a very nice man, and I like him a lot...just not how he wants me to. I don't want to discourage him, because I don't want to hurt him."
"I suppose."
"But I can't encourage him either. You see my problem." She sighed again, then grabbed his hand. "But let's not depress anyone." The smile returned--not the absent-minded one that she normally wore, or the overly sweet one she had used on him several times in the past, but the brilliant one that let you know she was happy. "Tenchi, I thought that just going to see a band would be boring! But they were funny, and they talked some, too. And the yatai, and the music, and there's still the park--would you push me on a swing?"
"Kasumi, I swear you're trying to make up for all your lost time in one shot!"
"Maybe I am!" She laughed. "But it's nice, not having to worry for once. Not have to be a mother figure, not have to be 'oneechan'--" She turned spirals, arms outstretched. "I can just have fun, and not worry..."
Tenchi sat down on a bench, shaking his head in bemusement. Once she had warmed to the situation, she had thrown all of her energy into just having fun. So much so that she was in danger of wearing him out.
Kasumi noticed him sitting down, and ran over to sit next to him. "Tenchi? What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just need to take a quick break."
Kasumi blushed. "I'm sorry. I'm giddy as a schoolgirl, I know. It's just..."
"You're finally getting a chance to just be you. For the last ten years, you've been forced to grow up too quickly. There's still a little kid, deep down inside you. The teenager you never got to be."
"Yes..." She nodded, subdued. "Akane always needed my help, she was forever getting herself scraped, sprained, scratched or otherwise damaged. Nabiki tried to help, but was just a little too young..." She quickly wiped away a tear.
Tenchi, a little unsure of himself, reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. She covered it with her own.
"All these years, I've had to be the dependable one. The one who cleaned, who cooked, who did the shopping. I had to make a lot of really hard decisions, Tenchi. I sold the family's car, because we needed the money and couldn't really afford the expense. I had to nag the other two to get them to clean their rooms, and to help out sometimes with the housework. Probably why both of them hate housework so much now..." She sniffled. "Daddy still needs so much help at times, and I could never really let my feelings show...couldn't let the girls see how much I hated nagging them...couldn't let Daddy see that I really just wanted to collapse like he did...always had to show a strong face to the world, when I really just wanted to break down..."
Tears were streaming down her face now, and she shuddered. Tenchi, feeling uncomfortable and insecure, but knowing he needed to do something, reached out and pulled her into a hug. She grabbed him, held him tightly.
They sat under the moon for a long time, silent save for the occasional sniffle from Kasumi. At length, she pulled away, pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes.
"I'm really sorry, Tenchi..."
"It's okay. Really."
"Thank you..." She smiled faintly. "I guess I needed to catch up with that, too."
Nabiki entered the bathroom, set out the sign and closed the door. She put the pig down on the floor and struggled out of her t-shirt.
"Oh, man, I'm tired." She dropped the t-shirt into the hamper and unclasped her bra. She glanced down at the pig, who for some reason was struggling to open the closet door. "As for you...let's see, I'll have to get your shots done, maybe get you fixed..." She laughed at the pig's expression of horror. "Well, I guess we can forego the neutering. Need a name for you...P-Chan works, I guess." She stepped out of her shorts and panties, picked up the bucket and started filling it. "You're quite dirty as well. Best get you clean."
She upended the bucket over herself, shivering at the cold. She then grabbed the soap and lathered herself up.
P-Chan continued to stare at her, eyes wide. She scowled at him.
"Dirty-minded little thing, aren't you?" She grinned evilly. "Not that you probably care, since you're a pig." She stretched provocatively. P-Chan fell over sideways and she laughed. Then she grabbed the bucket and dumped it over herself again.
"Brr...that's cold. Your turn." She grabbed the pig and turned the showerhead on him, then lathered and rinsed him. By the time she was done, the pig was shivering as much as she was.
"Enough of this silliness. What we both need at this point is a good hot soak." She picked up the pig and opened the door to the furo. She stepped into the tub, sat down and let the heat start relaxing her.
P-Chan was struggling like mad to get away. She frowned, then leaned over to set him on the floor. But she lost her grip, and the pig fell into the water.
"Damn! Where did he go?"
Ryouga's head broke the surface.
"Ack!" Nabiki slid as fast as she could away from Ryouga. Ryouga, for his part, was too stunned to move.
"Ryouga! How did you get in here?"
"I'm sorry! You brought me in here!"
"...I did?" Nabiki stared at him, then groaned. "You're P-Chan, aren't you? A Jushenkyou curse."
"Yeah. I'm really sorry, I'll get out..." He shifted to leave, but Nabiki reached out and grabbed his arm.
"Hold on, I want to talk to you."
"But you're..." He gestured at her.
"It's not like there's anything left that you haven't seen." Nabiki looked disgusted with herself. "I guess that'll teach me not to tease small animals."
Ryouga laughed somewhat unsteadily.
"This brings me to the point, though. You got a free peep show."
"I didn't--"
"Not that I really mind. After all, it's just meat." She grinned evilly. "But I can tell it upsets you. So if you want, I'll offer a way for you to repay me."
"Anything!"
"That's the sort of attitude I like." She sat back, one hand toying with the tap. "So, we'll begin now. Stand up."
"...Uh?"
"Stand up, Ryouga!"
"Ummm...okay." He stood up.
She looked him up and down. "Very nice."
He blushed.
"Now, if you will just step out of the furo..."
He stepped out of the furo, still blushing.
Nabiki lifted the shower head and hosed him down with a stream of cold water. She got out of the furo and picked up the pig.
"Now, here's the deal. I've always wanted a pet. And a pet that can go many places, and tell me what happened there, is worth its weight in gold. So you work for me, and I'll give you a place to stay, whenever you're in Nerima. And of course, it stands to reason that I'd not mind taking my pet pig in with me when I go for a bath. Free peep show, every night."
P-Chan shook his head.
"What? You're refusing this?" She looked at the pig oddly. "I was certain you found the view...enticing." She grinned. "Or maybe I just have an honourable pig on my hands. All right, I'll throw in five thousand yen a week, and all the table scraps you can eat. Plus the peep show."
P-Chan shook his head. Nabiki sighed. "You know, it's really hard to negotiate with a pig." She dropped him back into the furo.
Ryouga surfaced, sputtering. Nabiki sat down on a stool, facing him.
"Now then...let's hear your offer."
"Nabiki..." He blushed. "I am not used to someone as...direct...as yourself."
She shrugged.
"I will accept your offer...provided you help me win Akane's heart."
Nabiki nearly fell off the stool. "You want Akane?"
"Yes."
"Even though she wants Tenchi?"
"She does?" Ryouga looked stunned.
"Of course, so do I. And I'm willing to wager that so does Kasumi."
"But isn't Tenchi dating Kasumi?"
"Well, yes. But he's dated all three of us. In fact, he's engaged to all three of us."
"What?"
"Not so loud." Nabiki glanced at the door nervously. "You want Akane to come in here? She lives to flatten perverts."
Ryouga scowled and looked away from her. "That was the other problem I have with your deal...I'm not a pervert."
"Hm? Oh, don't worry, Ryouga-chan. I don't mind. In fact, it's nice seeing proof that I can turn on a guy..." She stretched again.
Ryouga sank beneath the waterline.
"Oh, good Lord. Boy, we have got to work on that shyness."
Outside the house, Tenchi and Kasumi had just arrived at the compound. Tenchi had offered Kasumi his arm for the trip back, but Kasumi had slipped in close to him, and placed an arm around his waist. She stepped back from him as they entered the front gate.
"Tenchi, I had a very good time tonight. The band was very good, and I enjoyed our...talk...by the lake."
"I'm glad you had fun, Kasumi. I was a bit worried you'd find it kinda lame."
"Well...it might have been...but you were very good company." She stepped in close to him. "And...I was wrong, Tenchi. I don't think it's love...but I wouldn't mind too much if you did pick me." She kissed him softly, then turned and walked into the house.
Tenchi sighed, a smile on his face.
"Tenchi!"
Tenchi whirled to face...Ryouga, charging at him from the direction of the dojo.
"Once again, you've destroyed my happiness, before it even got a chance to appear! You must pay!"
"Wha--" He dodged as Ryouga's umbrella smacked into the ground beside him. "What did I do?"
"You dare to mock my suffering?" Ryouga lifted the umbrella and started a series of rapid thrusts towards Tenchi.
"Look, man, let's just talk it over..."
"As if mere words could convey the depths of your treachery!"
"Oh, man, I just hate it when you do this..."
Tenchi grabbed Ryouga's arm and tossed him over the wall. He ran to the front door, grabbed his bokuto and turned to defend himself.
Ryouga came charging back through the gate.
Wow, he must really be torqued...he found the gate on the first try!
Ryouga slashed at him with the umbrella. Tenchi jumped over the swing, took the opportunity to strike at Ryouga's head. Ryouga blocked the shot--effective against the bokuto, though his umbrella would probably also have stopped a real katana.
All three sisters had gathered on the front porch.
Tenchi stepped back, bokuto held at the ready. "Look, Ryouga. I don't know what I might have done to tick you off. I mean, I haven't even been here, right?"
"Shut up!" Ryouga swung the umbrella. Tenchi blocked, and was dismayed to see his bokuto shattered.
"I'll get another!" Akane jumped down from the porch and ran towards the dojo.
"Akane! No, stay on the porch!"
Ryouga pulled several headbands off of his head--he seemed to be wearing a large number of them--and spun them in his hand. He launched them into the air like shuriken.
Tenchi parried one with the remains of his bokuto. Others slammed into the house wall, damaging it severely.
At the same time, Ryouga threw the umbrella like a javelin, straight at Tenchi's head. Tenchi started to dodge...then realized that if he did so, the umbrella would strike one of the Tendo sisters.
He grabbed both of them and jumped to the roof. The umbrella smashed into the door behind them.
Ryouga pulled off his belt and snapped it once. It straightened and held its shape like a rod.
Tenchi set down the girls. "Stay here until it's safe!"
"Tenchi...be careful."
He nodded. "Don't worry."
Ryouga slashed at the porch supporting rods.
CREAK
"Kuso..." Tenchi grabbed the girls again, pushed off from the porch. He landed awkwardly, but set both girls down safely.
Akane returned, and flung Tenchi's bokuto to him. He snagged it, then turned and struck with a rising snap of the wrist.
The tip of the bokuto slammed into Ryouga's chin, knocking him back. The belt flew from his grasp, directly towards Nabiki.
Nabiki squawked, but was shoved out of the path of the flying belt by Kasumi.
The belt hacked through Kasumi's hair, shearing most of its length.
Nabiki and Akane and Ryouga and Tenchi stared at Kasumi.
Kasumi shakily raised a hand to the back of her head. She ran the hand along the remains of her hair.
"Oh, my..."
Tenchi turned to Ryouga. "You broke the Code, Ryouga."
"What? I didn't--"
"You allowed a weapon to leave your control and harm an innocent."
"But she's not hurt, is she?"
"No." Akane stared at him, eyes smouldering. "But she sure got a bad cut."
Tenchi stepped towards Ryouga, sword raised. Kasumi stepped forwards, placed a hand on Tenchi's arm. "No, Tenchi. Don't hit him."
Tenchi looked at her. "You sure?"
"Quite."
WHAM
SPLASH
"Ow..." Kasumi cradled her hand. "I think I need some ice for this."
Tenchi looked in the direction Ryouga had flown. "Now that he had coming."
"Bwee."
Nabiki stopped, picked up the pig.
"You know, P-Chan, I don't know if I quite agree with Tenchi. Ryouga's weapon was outside his control when it hit Kasumi."
The pig looked relieved.
"But that doesn't mean I forgive him. Kasumi gave him just what he deserved. Now as for you...you seem quite cold. I have a blanket to warm you up with. But there's not gonna be any hot baths for you for quite some time." She chuckled. "After all, hot water's not good for pigs."
P-Chan's ears drooped. Nabiki laughed.
"Don't worry...eventually, I'll let you change back. Just not for a while. Besides, things aren't gonna be healthy around here for you for the next few days.
"But don't worry. I'm sure I can find some things to keep you busy."
"Ah, now I find you..."
The woman laughed quietly, brushing a lock of cyan hair out of her eyes.
"Ready or not, here I come..."