Disclaimer

I am a poor starving artist with no intentions of making money off of this. I own absolutely none of the characters herein, and have created this sheerly for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of anyone who reads it. Please don't sue me.

This Side Down

Chapter Nine

No Need for Yosho

The knock at the door drew Katsuhito's attention from his calligraphy practice. "Come in."

Ayeka slipped in though the door, shutting it behind her. She kept her eyes focused on the ground as she stepped closer to Katsuhito.

Katsuhito coughed. "How may I help you, young lady?"

"I recognize you, Yosho. Even though you've aged..."

"I'm sorry, miss. But Yosho was a distant ancestor of mine. Perhaps there's a very strong family resemblance--"

"Don't play games with me!" She snapped at him, suddenly furious. "Don't you think I can see your aura? You're the same man that I remember, the one who ran off, chasing a demon! The one who left me behind!"

Katsuhito removed his glasses and sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't think to check my aura."

"Why, Yosho? Why did you run from your responsibilities?"

"Because I didn't want them!" He stood, and began to pace the small office. "All I ever wanted to do was to settle down some time, somewhere, with a wife. I wanted to raise a few kids, grow some crops, and just be a simple man!" He sighed. "The last thing I wanted was to be forced into a marriage with my half-sister, and forced to be Emperor." He snorted. "Like the Juraian council would ever have ratified me as Emperor, half-Terran that I am."

"Father had no other male offspring. Only you can be Emperor."

"I don't want the job."

Ayeka stepped forward quickly and took his hands in her own. "And what about me? What about us? I thought you truly loved me."

"Ayeka--" He stepped back. "I do love you. Truly. But not the way you want. You're my sister--"

"Half-sister!"

"Here, on Earth, things work differently."

"But you're Juraian--"

"Funaho-sama was Terran. Did you forget that?" He grinned. "She raised me with Terran morals. Incest is definitely a taboo in this society."

"But, Yosho...I still love you."

"Do you?"

She stared at him. "How can you doubt it?"

"I've had many reasons to doubt it, for a long time." He turned away from her and looked out the window. "But it does not matter. I've come here, to this planet. I don't intend ever to leave it again. I've married, fathered daughters, seen them married, watched them die." He sighed. "This is home, and here I shall stay, until I die."

"So you're completely turning your back on Jurai? And on me?"

"Yes."

Slap

Ayeka turned and stormed out of the office. Katsuhito sighed again.

Unnoticed by either, a small black pig slipped out in Ayeka's wake. P-Chan would have shook his head, if a pig's neck were capable of that motion. To think that his old friend was an alien...

Nabiki was sprawled in the hot spring, arms at full extension on either side of her, resting on the rocks. She sighed in contentment.

Yep, I absolutely must be the one to marry Tenchi. There's just no way I'm giving this up.

There was a small splash to her right. She glanced over, just in time to see Ryoga break the surface. She grinned mischeviously.

"So, P-Chan, decided to take me up on that offer?"

"Don't call me that."

"I take it you've managed to learn something that may interest me?"

"Well...how about the fact that that alien princess that crashed here is in fact Katsuhito's half-sister?"

"What?" Nabiki sat bolt upright. "Do you mean to tell me that Tenchi is an alien?"

"Not exactly. His grandfather is half-human, and all his other ancestors were fully human...with the possible exception of Genma."

Nabiki snorted. "So Tenchi is mostly human. But he's one-eighth alien."

Ryoga nodded. "Also, apparently, this Ayeka chick was supposed to marry Katsuhito, but Katsuhito didn't really want to be Emperor of the Galaxy..."

Nabiki shook her head in disbelief. "You've just gotta be making this up..."

"No, I swear, it's the truth!"

"Oh my..." Nabiki reclined back into the spring. "So Tenchi is an alien prince."

"I don't know if that's right. Katsuhito is a prince. But I don't know what that makes Tenchi..."

Nabiki shrugged. "It explains why this family is so rich. I just wonder..." She frowned, deep in thought.

Ryoga leaned back. "So what is this information worth to you?" He grinned.

Nabiki looked back up at him. "You're obviously very new at this. Since you gave me the information before mentioning any price...it's free."

"Huh? That's not fair!"

"Life's not fair, and there ain't no such thing as a free lunch." She smiled seductively. "You want payment in some other coin?" She leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of Ryoga's head. "Maybe you want more than just the peep show...?" She leaned forward to kiss him...

Akane stepped out the back door of Katsuhito's house, intent on a good soak in the spring. As she approached the screen that enclosed the spring, she heard voices in conversation. She peeked around the edge of the screen, to see Ryoga and Nabiki sitting together in the spring. They were talking, but she couldn't quite make out what they were saying.

She scowled. That Ryoga! What's he doing here? Probably trying to molest Nabiki. Her eyes widened as Nabiki leaned over Ryoga. Actually, it looks more like Nabiki is trying to molest Ryoga... She stepped back, and turned to walk back to the house.

Guess I'll just use the furo. Hmmm...if Ryoga and Nabiki are getting together...that means she's not going to be chasing Tenchi anymore! Her steps quickened, and she broke out in a grin.

Nabiki leaned back, amused, as Ryoga slid below the waterline, bleeding profusely from the nose. "This is just too much fun!"

Nabiki had no idea how fast her information was going to be rendered public knowledge.

Tenchi leaned back on his heels and mopped the sweat from his brow. Whatever had possessed is grandfather to plant two full acres of carrots, he'd never know. But it had provided him with an awful lot of weeds to pull.

The younger of the two alien girls, Sasami, was picking her way through the field. She stopped in front of him.

"Hi, Tenchi!"

"You little scamp! What are you up to now?" He grinned.

"Nothing, right now! Well, maybe...I'm not really familiar with the foods of this planet. Are these roots edible?"

"Carrots? Yeah. Tasty, too."

"Maybe you could give me a few of them so I can make dinner?"

"Sure, but not these ones." He stood. "Let's go over there. That shed has a lot of carrots stored in it, already picked." They started across the field.

"I'm sorry about what I did to you on Ryu-Oh. I guess it wasn't very nice..."

"It's all right, Sasami. I don't mind too much."

"Oh, but the look on your face when Sis woke up!"

Tenchi chuckled. "I don't mind a practical joke, even when it's at my expense. Do you prank people often?"

"Not really. It's just that it was so dull, and I was so bored..."

"Right. Gotcha." He opened the shed and pulled out a bundle of carrots. "Will this do?"

"Yes! Thank you!" She bowed to him. "I was so happy that Uncle Yosho asked me to cook for him!"

"Ah...Uncle Yosho?"

"Yes!"

"...So you did find him?" Tenchi thought of the sword; If Yosho really was alive, he would probably have to return it to him.

"Yes! But he's gotten really old. He lives in the same house as you. But he calls himself Katsuhito now."

"Oh!" Tenchi laughed. "No, that's my grandfather. He looks a lot like the old pictures of Yosho--"

"No!" Sasami stamped her foot. "Sis looked at his aura! It's Yosho, all right!"

Tenchi stopped laughing. "You're one hundred percent sure that my grandfather...is Yosho?"

"Yep! And Funaho's log confirmed it, too!"

Tenchi's mind was whirling.

Grandfather is Yosho. Sasami calls Yosho her uncle. So Grandfather...is an alien. And that would make me...

Tenchi sat down heavily. "Oh, man, why did this have to happen to me?"

Sasami blinked. "What's the matter?"

"My Grandfather is an alien!"

"Yes, he's Juraian, like me and Ayeka. We're his sisters."

Tenchi looked at her. "So that would make you my aunt?"

Sasami paused. "My Japanese isn't as good as I'd like. What do you mean?"

"Okay, look. Yosho had a daughter, okay?"

"...okay."

"Yosho's daughter had a son. Okay so far?"

"Yes."

"That son was me."

Her eyes widened. "So you're part Juraian! In fact, you're...you'd be the crown prince!"

"Huh?"

"Yosho didn't want to be Emperor! So after he finished fighting Ryoko, he stayed here. At least, that's what he told Ayeka. Ayeka can't be Emperor, because she's a girl, and neither can I. Your father couldn't be. I'm guessing he's fully human. So you will be the next Emperor of Jurai."

Tenchi pulled out Yosho's sword and stared at it. "That's what he meant. All those years, he told me I was Yosho's heir. That's why he kept me on the Masaki family scrolls. That's why he taught me the Art. He was..." He broke off, overwhelmed. "But where do the Tendos fit in?"

"The Tendos?"

"Yes! Grandfather arranged for me to be married to one of the Tendos. He said it didn't matter which one, as long as I married one of them."

"Well, there's a law that says a Juraian Emperor must marry two women. One Juraian, and one Outlander..."

"That son of a..." Tenchi scowled at the house. "I'm gonna kill him!" He took off at a dead run, leaving Sasami behind, holding a bunch of carrots.

BANG

Katsuhito looked up at the door. It sat off-kilter on its hinges, probably due to the fact that Tenchi had slammed into it at full throttle, not bothering to open it.

"Ah, Tenchi, my boy! How can I help you?"

"What the hell gives you the right to meddle in my life like this?" Tenchi's face was dark with rage, and his knuckles were white around the pommel of the sword.

Katsuhito frowned at him. "I thought we'd settled the matter of the engagement."

"It's not about the engagement...Yosho."

"Oh." Katsuhito - Yosho - looked down, looking ashamed. "I will discuss this with you...when you calm down. Sit down. Have some tea. Put the Key away."

Tenchi scowled at him, but allowed the sword's blade to lapse. He crossed the room and sat across from the old man.

"First off, I will say I'm sorry. A lot of what I did, I did for my own selfish wants. However, some of it was done with the idea of helping yourself. Other things only seemed to work out as they did. I didn't plan them this way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well..." Yosho poured two cups of tea. "First, I'll tell you about Jurai.

"Jurai is the center of a galactic Empire that encompasses...oh, about sixty star systems, over a hundred and fifty worlds. It's not the only Empire out there, but it's noted for being the center of the Government for this Galaxy.

"The Emperor of Jurai has no power outside of his Empire, and his position must be ratified by the Juraian Council. In theory, the Council could make anyone Emperor. In practise, it has always been a member of the House of Jurai.

"My father, Azusa, had two other children by his second wife. Ayeka and Sasami. When I left Jurai, Sasami was only a toddler. It was my belief that Azusa would father a second son, by one of his two wives.

"I desperately did not want to be Emperor. But it seemed that forces conspired to make me Crown Prince. My father had no other children. Ayeka and Sasami are my only siblings. Further, I have only fathered daughters. Three of them, all now dead."

"Three...?"

"Yes. One of them, Hanaki, was an ancestor of the Tendos. Another, Michiru, was Nodoka's great-grandmother. Finally, Achika, your mother." He sighed. "I wanted you to marry a Tendo, because I hoped it would seal the rift between that clan and myself. Also, because it would weaken your likelihood of becoming Emperor. My father's First Wife was human, and the Council nearly didn't ratify him because of it." He grinned at Tenchi. "Imagine if the Council were presented with yourself, one-eighth Juraian only, and married to a human. My father will have little choice. Either marry Ayeka off to some petty lord...or allow the Imperial Throne to be held by a House other than Jurai."

Tenchi sighed. "You had two other daughters..."

"Yes, all by different women." He grinned. "Never tell any of the Tendos this, but Hanaki was the daughter of a Korean woman. I don't think they'd take that well at all...Michiru was half Ainu. That's why Nodoka's hair has red in it. She's a throwback. As for your mother...well, the records of her parentage are in the shrine."

"But you're trying to marry me off to a relative."

"The relationship is so far in the past that it is legal...not to mention, the genetic drift is so strong, you wouldn't have to worry about inbreeding, if that's what you're worried about."

"I just don't think I like the idea of marrying a female relative."

Yosho grinned. "Think how I felt. Ayeka had been trying to get me to marry her for a hundred years before I left."

Tenchi stared. "But she's your sister..."

"I know."

"That's disgusting."

He shrugged. "I really didn't want to stay there."

"So Nodoka is really related to me...and so are all the Tendos, though distantly--"

"Through their mother."

"--and so are these two alien princesses. In fact, they're my aunts."

"Yes."

Tenchi shook his head. "This is worse than Star Wars." He looked up. "Hey, am I going to live as long as you did?"

"Probably not. Not unless you can find a Juraian Tree-Ship to bond with. As I did."

"Did Mom have one?"

"No." Yosho sighed. "I had germinated a seed, but when she died, it still had two years to go before she could have bonded with it. The seed died shortly thereafter. You were too young to bond to it at that time. And I have no more seeds."

"So I probably will only have a normal lifespan."

"Maybe." He gestured out the window. "But now that Ayeka and Sasami are here...who knows?"

Tenchi sighed. "Why couldn't I have a nice, low-stress teenage life? You know...problems with women, peer pressure to drink and take drugs, all that sort of normal things?"

Yosho laughed.

Tenchi stood. "I've gotta go talk with Mom - I mean, Nodoka."

"You won't find her." Yosho jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "She went over to the village. She's got a friend there she wanted to visit. She won't be back until later."

"I'll talk with Kasumi, then."

"She went into town to shop."

"Oh. Damn. I guess I can talk to Nabiki..."

"Coming close to a choice?"

"No." Tenchi scowled at him. "I'll choose when I'm damn good and ready."

"You have until the end of the year--"

"Forget it!" His anger returned full-force. "I don't care if you have to wait until I'm fifty! I am not going to commit to anyone, any time soon! Get used to it, Grandfather. You've sufficently mucked with my life already. You've made this marriage an issue of giri. But it's gonna be me upholding giri, so I'm gonna make sure it's done right. Got it?"

Yosho nodded, an amused look on his face.

"What's so funny?"

"I get the distinct feeling you protest too much."

"Huh?"

Yosho stood, facing Tenchi. "Tenchi, it's obvious that all three of those girls would be willing to marry you. It's equally obvious that you care for all three of them."

Tenchi was taken aback. "Well...they're nice girls."

"You see? Not everything I did was wrong." He clapped a hand on Tenchi's shoulder. "I won't push it for now." He perked up. "Hello, is that the dinner bell? Let's go!"

Ryoko had spent the entire day searching the lake.

Ever since Ryo-Ohki's destruction, Ryoko had felt very different. She was well aware of the bond between herself and her ship. In fact, her brain frequently accessed the ship's computer as though it were an extension of herself. Being separate from Ryo-Ohki's massive databases and logs left her feeling...unsure of herself.

For this reason, Ryoko was searching for the ship's disaster recorder.

Ryo-Ohki was a powerful ship, but not powerful enough to survive the crash that had stranded her here. Luckily, the ship had an extremely complex self-re-creation system. The ship was as much alive as the Juraian Ship-Trees, though in a different manner. The disaster recorder kept a constant update on the ship's genetic structure, allowing it to regrow from an egg. It would be several years before Ryo-Ohki reached full power again, but at least she would be back. And hopefully, she would have downloaded all her logs into her disaster recorder.

"Finally!"

Ryoko picked up the egg. It was about a foot and a half long, perhaps a foot wide, and a uniform brown in colour. She gathered it to herself, and teleported back to the house.

"Dinnertime, everyone!"

Akane walked out into the dining room of Katsuhito's house, her arms laden with various dishes. Behind her, Sasami carried a large bowl of rice.

Nabiki eyed her sister suspiciously. "Akane...did you cook any of this?"

"Yep!" Akane nodded enthusiastically. "Sasami-chan did the rice, and I did the curry."

Sasami set the rice on the table. "I hope I got it right. I followed the instructions in the cookbook, but I've never cooked rice before."

Katsuhito sat down at the table. "I'm sure you got it right, Sasami-chan."

Nabiki pulled out her wallet and thumbed through it. "Masaki-san, I hope there are some good take-out restaurants nearby...?"

Katsuhito blinked.

Tenchi came in and sat at the table. "All right, that smells good! What's for dinner?"

"It's just curry."

Nabiki shuddered. "It's just poison."

"Nabiki!" Akane scowled at her sister. "I put a lot of effort into this, and you're going to enjoy it!"

"Is that an order?"

Tenchi butted in to keep the hostilities from becoming a war. "I'm sure it's great."

Nabiki glanced at him. "You've never eaten anything of Akane's, have you?"

"No. I know she thinks she can't cook, but come on...it's curry!"

Akane twitched.

"Everyone knows, you can't screw up curry."

Akane stuck a large serving spoon into the curry and slopped some down on Tenchi's plate. "Here you go."

"Ummm..."

"Go on. Try it."

Tenchi picked up a fork, scooped up a small amount of curry, and raised it to his lips.

Akane watched, biting her lower lip.

Tenchi set down the fork, calmly reached over for the pitcher of lemonade, and drained it, nearly in one gulp. He set down the pitcher and gasped.

"A little spicy..."

Akane deflated.

Ryoko, in the meantime, had nearly killed off the whole serving bowl. "I don't see anything wrong with it."

Akane and Nabiki stared at her.

She looked up. "What?"

Nabiki said, "Ah...how does it taste to you?"

"Taste?" Ryoko frowned slightly. "It tastes...good, I guess."

Nabiki shuddered. "If ever I doubted you were a demon..."

Akane sat at the end of the dock, her feet in the water.

Tenchi walked up and sat down beside her. She glanced up at him, then turned her eyes back to the lake.

"Go ahead. Make fun of my cooking. Everyone else does."

"You've not had a lot of practise, have you?"

"Huh?" She looked up at him. "No, I haven't. Kasumi does most of the cooking at home."

"I thought not." He looked over the lake. "My cooking isn't really good, either. I've had some practise, but not a lot. You just need to practise more."

"Hm?"

He leaned back, looking up at the stars. "Cooking is like the Art. First, you have to learn the basics. Then, you need lots of practise until you have the basics down pat. Then, you can start learning the more advanced forms. Those also need practise, but they're based on the basics. And all the practise you put into the basics helps with the more advanced forms."

"Cooking...like martial arts." She tilted her head, a look of concentration on her face.

"Curry's not the best place to start. It's easy...but it relies heavily on the basics." He sat up. "Pick something so brain-dead simple that it seems ridiculous. Try that. Work at it until you can do it in your sleep."

"But there's just one little problem. No-one will touch anything I cook."

"Really?" Tenchi turned to face her. "Will you do me a favour?"

"I guess."

"Tomorrow, can you make me a bowl of miso for breakfast? Use some of the instant powder in the cupboard."

"Are...are you sure?"

"Yep." He nodded. "It's so brain-dead simple even I could do it." He grinned at her. "And if by some fluke you do mess it up...I'll tell you what you did wrong, and how not to do it in the future. Deal?"

"...Sure. But...why? Why do this?"

"Is it against the rules to want to help someone improve?"

She lunged forward and hugged him. "Nope." She stood up and ran back towards the house. "Good night!"

Nabiki, watching from the second floor, grimaced. "Make me sick. It's gonna make him sick, too." She put away the parabolic microphone, hit stop on the tape recorder, and went to bed.