I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own Lord of the Rings, and I don't own the Merchant of Venice. Etc. P.S. I don't own the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. Wish I did though!
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Chapter 1: The Fellowship of chaRings
Years have passed since the lord of chaRings, Lord Cyril, was defeated. But he managed to find a powerful wizard who would gladly continue his legacy on Middle Earth. Saruman Suman, dark, homosexual and a very insecure fag. He was offered by Lord Cyril everlasting beauty. In exchange, he should find the One Mirror. Saruman Suman, being so insecure, agreed and so he formed the fellowship of chaRings.
Forming of the Fellowship of chaRings.
Saruman called a meeting of the high council of the gays. And the proud members were Legolas Greenleaf, an elf and the Prince of Mirkwood; Harry Potter, a wizard and the-boy-who-lived; Antonio, a man and the merchant of Venice; Remus Lupin, another wizard and also a werewolf; and James Potter, another wizard and the-father-of-the-boy-who-lived. The meeting of the high council of the gays was in the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel of Middle Earth. One by one the gay members arrived. Legolas arrived, wearing pink sleeveless gown that has vampire-like collar. He had a very glamorous and feathery headdress. Harry Potter arrived wearing a V-neck, fitted shirt that almost exposed his fake silicon boobies and a very sexy leather pants. Remus Lupin arrived, wearing tube and micro-mini-skirt and a 5 inch heels. Antonio on the other hand arrived, wearing a black cloak. Everybody thought he was the most decent but when he took the cloak off, everybody was surprised. He was wearing a plain black, silk two-piece swimsuit. And lastly James Potter arrived, wearing a t-shirt, pants and pair of simple sneakers. Everybody was like "Why are you wearing that?" and James was like, "My Fafa is so protective."
The meeting of the high council of the gays took place when the members were already complete.
"I called you here tonight, to discuss with you some matters about our Gay Lord Cyril," Saruman Suman started.
He was, from time to time, glancing at the gorgeous and handsome Elven bodyguards of the Prince of Mirkwood. He also moved around a lot, waving his long grayish-white hair.
"Uh, no he looks stupid." Legolas thought but he did nothing but raise his right eyebrow.
"Stop flirting for a moment Saruman Suman and tell us what this is all about," Harry Potter demanded. He was quite annoyed by how Saruman Suman looked stupid and gross while flirting. "He's really a trying hard, ugly fag," He thought.
Saruman Suman smiled at the Elven bodyguards and blew them a kiss first before he continued, "Alright, as we all know, our mission here in Middle Earth is to convert every straight men and elves to gay. And to do that we have to find the One Mirror. There's no problem for us because we are naturally gay but what about the straight men and elves?" He glanced at the Elven bodyguards again and he winked at them seductively. Then he continued, "We will need the One Mirror's help. Also, the One Mirror would give our Gay Lord Cyril back his life. Our Gay Lord Cyril contacted me last night through my cellular phone. He even sent me his picture. By the way, he has a Nokia 7650, that's how he sent me his picture. And to tell you the truth, our Gay Lord Cyril isn't looking very beautiful at the moment. But he will be able to restore his beauty if only we recover the One Mirror. So to make this long story short, he asked me to find the One Mirror and of course I can't do it alone. Now I'll ask you, who among you wants to be part of the Fellowship of chaRings?"
"Uh, duh! Of course I'll join," Harry Potter was the first who spoke. He waved his hand vainly as if saying 'are you stupid?'.
"Oh, well, since my son is joining I'll join too," James Potter replied shyly.
"I can't. What will happen during full moons? I might turn you all to werewolves," Remus Lupin said sadly.
"Oh honey, we'll miss you!" Antonio looked sympathetically at Remus then he went near Remus and gave him a hug reserved for the fags. He then broke the hug and faced Saruman Suman then he announced, "Of course I'll be part of the fellowship."
"I don't want to be left behind." Legolas smiled then he crossed his legs sophisticatedly.
"Can we bring our fafas?" James Potter asked.
The fags looked at each other then they looked at Saruman Suman with puppy dog eyes.
"Well, they might turn to gays when they see the One Mirror." Saruman Suman replied.
"Not if they truly love us. And with that I'm certain that my fafa loves me," James Potter said. Then he looked at the other gays who are now known as the chaRings.
"Mine loves me," Remus replied. "But I won't go anyway so it's okay."
"Oh well, mine loves me," Antonio crossed his arms.
"I have no fafa. So I have no problem," Legolas said.
"I have no fafa too and it's quite depressing," Harry pouted.
"Alright, alright girls you may bring your fafas in one condition," Saruman Suman said.
The chaRings looked at Saruman Suman abruptly, stopping their conversation about their fafas. Then James Potter asked, "What's the condition?"
"No sex. As in N.O. S.E.X. during the journey," Saruman Suman said.
Antonio's jaw dropped open. Remus chuckled. And James whined, "What?!?!? No sex??? Why?"
"Well that's the condition; bring your fafa but no sex." Saruman Suman replied.
"Haha! This is gonna be a very nice journey for all of you." Remus mocked.
James stuck his tongue out at Remus which made him look really childish. Then he said, "At least we're part of the fellowship."
"I'm part of the fellowship too. I just can't go." Remus answered.
"Whatever. Loser!" James sneered.
"Girls. Stop that." Saruman Suman said.
The two chaRings glared at each other before returning their attention to Saruman Suman.
Then Saruman Suman continued, "So, take some beauty rest dear chaRings and we'll start our journey tomorrow afternoon. Do not bring too much make up. Do not bring you tanning bed. Do not bring your whole closet. Do not bring all your make-ups. Just bring a small kikay kit; that would be fine."
"Okay," The chaRings said. One by one they stood up and gave each other a gay kiss on the cheek then went for their beauty rest.
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F.Y.I.
Lord of chaRings – Gay Lord Cyril
Lord of chaRings' Fafa - Voldie X (Voldemort)
Fellowship of chaRings:
1. Harry Potter (fafa: Draco Malfoy)
2. Remus Lupin (fafa: Sirius Black)
3. Legolas Greenleaf (fafa: Aragorn, Prince of Gondor)
4. Antonio (Merchant of Venice) (fafa: Bassanio)
5. James Potter (fafa: Lucius Malfoy)
6. Saruman Suman (fafa: Professor Dumbledore)
chaRings – fags, gays
Fafa – chaRing's lover; boyfriend
Kikay kit – vanity kit