SLASH WARNING!!! RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!!
BTW, still using notepad. Apologies in advance for typos that get through and spacing errors as FF.net is being STOOPID. -- typo/spelling mistake on purpose. Also, I am still experimenting with the layout for this story.
For disclaimers and other such things, please see chapter one. But, a small one to cover me arse: In the previous four chapters, I did not own LOTR. What makes you think I own it now? Some magical lottery? *wishes there was such a lottery so she can have her own personal man/elf here with her to keep her warm on Those Cold Canadian Winter Nights(tm)* So, me = does not own LOTR or its wonderful characters. I will just have my sick fun and return them (relatively) unharmed. But they will be happeh. Shooo happeh! *^_^*
Author Notes: Thank you for the encouragement. The last chapter did not have as many reviews as the previous one but I figure that is because either peeps have forgotten about my story *or* that I did not leave it too long so people would be harrassing me to continue.... *heh* In any case, thanks to my reviewers and silent readers.
A note to flamers: Although I have not had the pleasure of dealing with flames (not that I really WANT to deal with them), one of my fave authors (and newfound friend) received one stating that, in so many words, there is no slash in LOTR, Aragorn is not gay, blah blah blah. Whatever. Did you see the last movie? Hello?!?! Aragorn wanted Leggy so bad, even my homophobic elder brother said "OH! Just shag and get it over with already!!!" *hehe* So, leave us pervy slash faciers to our slashy menz. Why not go read a nice Mary-Sue Romance? Hmmm? *gags at the thought*
Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews! As per usual, personal thanks at the end of the chapter.
Reminder: ".." denotes Westron (English or Common) Speech, '..' denotes Elvish Speech, ::..:: denotes thoughts, [..] denotes translations to some elvish words that I inserted to make myself seem cool.
This chapter (updated quicker than I have *ever* updated before) is dedicated to those who have not given up on this story and especially to EtheLeA. This chappie is to cheer you up.... *smiles*
WARNING: First part of this chapter is fluffy. I am feeling mooshy and not so funny. Hurr. I fear this will not be my funniest.... Oh! And this chapter is brought to you by the word "SMOOTH". Amaze yout friends and family by inserting this word randomly in your vocabulary! Smooth. Not just for describing beer anymore. XD
Here we go!
The King's New Clothes
(A silly fic by Sly-chan)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Five: Of Secrets and Surprises
An uninterested Aragorn pushed food about his plate with his fork. Even the elven cuisine that Imladris was reknowed for did little to coax his non existent appetite. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of his beautiful elven lover and his wounded, but still perfectly delectable, elven behind.
The King of Men sighed. Everything that surrounded him reminded him of his lover's absence. How he wished nothing more than to have been brave enough, three years past, to have told Arwen of his relationship with Legolas. If he would have done that, then the prince would not be lying, alone and in pain, in some random bed in Imladris, suffering from such an "unfortunate" wound.
::I might as well have shot that arrow myself!:: he thought sadly.
Aragorn then looked down at his plate and was surprised to see that he had subconsciously made a likeness of Legolas with his meagre dinner. Light angel hair pasta, two strips of red pepper and two strategically placed olives with sauce outlining an angular face and shapely nose made the King's heart wrench.
::I wonder how he is doing. Maybe I should go check on him. I know Elrond threatened to kill me if I tried anything while Legolas was in a drugged state, but I have to see him!:: He looked down at his plate and gently touched a saucy pointed ear. He then shook his head. ::All this worrying about him is driving me insane!::
With that, Elessar, King of Gondor, pushed the plate away from His person. He regally rose from his chair and, with a flourish, left the table, thus announcing his departure from the near empty dining hall.
Elrond quirked an eyebrow and was about to chase down and reprimand the young king when a gentle hand was placed on his arm, restraining him. Elrond looked over to see a smilling Glorfindel.
'Leave him be, Elrond.' whispered the fair-haired Lord. 'He is obviously worried about the young prince. Let him see with his own eyes that his love is resting and safe from harm.' His hand then began to trace soothing circles on the Elf Lord's arm. 'I am sure that you would be just as worried if you were the one who had a lover who was wounded and resting in that bed.' said the blond Eldar so only Elrond could hear.
Elrond's hand discreetly travelled and rested on the other Lord's.
'You are right.' he sighed in defeat and gazed deeply into the deep azure pools that were Glorfindel's eyes. 'How came you to be so much wiser than this old fool?'
'I am not wise, my Lord.' said Glorfindel as he smiled softly. 'One is not wise when in love....' The blond Lord then raised the healer's hand to press a soft kiss on the smooth skin. 'Just perceptive.'
Aware that others might be watching, the two Lords regained their composure.
Glorfindel cleared his throat. A funny gesture seeing as elves never become ill with colds or laryngitis.
'Now, Lord Elrond. I remember you promising me the tale of how our fair prince of Mirkwood was wounded.' said Glorfindel, elegantly rising from his chair and smoothing out the wrinkles in his robes.
'Ah! That I did, Lord Glorfindel.' began Elrond, a michievous smirk appearing on his lips. 'Shall we retire to my, er, study to discuss such matters?' Elrond rose and began to walk hurriedly towards his rooms.
'Lead the way, my Lord.' said Glorfindel, trying to hurry his pace to catch up with the dark-haired Lord.
::Although:: thought the blond Lord ::It will be difficult to talk with our mouths occupied...:: Glorfindel grinned and continued to follow the dark-haired Lord.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As the two Elf Lords beat their retreat to a more 'private' location, Aragorn was striding down a random hall in search of Legolas' room.
::Why oh why did I never get a map of this place? I think I'm lost!:: thought a very frustrated Aragorn.
There were a few random elves that passed him by but he, being a manly man and all, did not stop any to ask for directions.
"Crap!" he exclaimed as he found himself in the same hallway leading to the dining hall. Again. "Damn Elrond and his love of big things!" cried Aragorn in frustration.
(Somewhere else in Imladris, there was a loud sneeze. Elrond thought to himself: ::Elves aren't suppose to get colds!?::)
Just then, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, felt something cold pressed against his neck.
"What is this? A Ranger caught of his guard?" said a mysterious voice.
Aragorn froze in fear, his eyes becoming big like saucers and his heart beating too rapidly than was humanly possible. There were very few things that managed to scare the bejeebus out of the mighty king of men: Fire retardant Nazgul, Uruk-Hai that just won't die, his sword breaking, not being able to "perform", fluffy white bunnies and-
"ARWEN?!?!"
TBC....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Short. That was short. Too short. And unfunneh. Hey! At least we saw some El/Del (Elrond/Glorfindel) right? *dodges tomatoes* Sorry. Will update again soon.
Personal Thanks:
slasher lover: HEE HEE! I thought the code name would be a cute scene to add. Glad you liked it. I love the twins in fanfiction. I always like to see them having a good time but being great warriors when the time/situation asks for it. I was kinda sad that they weren't really a big part of the books or in the first two movies *keeps her fingers crossed for ROTK* but that makes it fun for us fic readers/authors, ne? Thank you for the review!! I shall continue!
Emma the Lame: EMMA!!! I am so glad that you reviewed! I missed you soooooooo much! If you have AIM, could we chat sometime? I have my AIM name on my author's page.... *smiles* We can plot some carnage together.... *Legolas and Aragorn look worried* Elrohir's codename was cute wasn't it? It is my fave scene too. My new compy is very much like our fave elf. SLEEK! *eek!* I am updating! I am updating!!! *huggles* Take care silly! Thanks for the review!
LittleSpacedemon: Ah! You remembered my fic! Glad you liked it and reviewed! It means alot to me! I have updated as a thank you.... Thanks!! The twins are cute, aren't they?
EtheLeA: hee hee! Thanks for the TWO reviews hunny! This chapter is for you to get you out of the "school blues"..
Sylvie: Sorry Leggy! But it was either an arrow in the butt or *wipsers in his pointed ear*
Legolas: *pales* You WOULDN'T!!!
Sylvie: *smiles evilly* I would. *points to the twins who are grinning*
Legolas: I will be good.
Twins: *frown*
Heheheheh! Take care OK? Thanks for the reviewS!
Sariyuki: HI! *huggles* A new reader! YAY! I am glad that you like my story! That is really encouraging and fuels me to continue! *drinks the hot chocolate but not before adding some "secret sauce" to it* Mmmm.... I hope I make you laugh again soon! *hugs* Thanks for the review!
Faye: LAURIE! I am glad that you liked the new chapter! And making fun of movie Arwen never grows old.... NEVER. And the twins (especially Elladan) will not have it easy for sure. *hugs* Thanks, hun!
In Dreams: Hee hee! Yup! Glorfindel is HELLA cool! I love him very much and was so upset that he was not in the movie (well, I think he was the elf noble dressed in blue sitting near Gandalf at the Council of Elrond but I am not sure....) I am glad that you are enjoping this story! Thanks for the review!
One last thing.... This fic will be coming to an end soon. But I want to know, would you like a sequel? Let me know either by e-mail or a review if you think that would be fun.
Thank you to all my reviewers and silent readers out there in ff.net land! See you in chapter 6!
BTW, still using notepad. Apologies in advance for typos that get through and spacing errors as FF.net is being STOOPID. -- typo/spelling mistake on purpose. Also, I am still experimenting with the layout for this story.
For disclaimers and other such things, please see chapter one. But, a small one to cover me arse: In the previous four chapters, I did not own LOTR. What makes you think I own it now? Some magical lottery? *wishes there was such a lottery so she can have her own personal man/elf here with her to keep her warm on Those Cold Canadian Winter Nights(tm)* So, me = does not own LOTR or its wonderful characters. I will just have my sick fun and return them (relatively) unharmed. But they will be happeh. Shooo happeh! *^_^*
Author Notes: Thank you for the encouragement. The last chapter did not have as many reviews as the previous one but I figure that is because either peeps have forgotten about my story *or* that I did not leave it too long so people would be harrassing me to continue.... *heh* In any case, thanks to my reviewers and silent readers.
A note to flamers: Although I have not had the pleasure of dealing with flames (not that I really WANT to deal with them), one of my fave authors (and newfound friend) received one stating that, in so many words, there is no slash in LOTR, Aragorn is not gay, blah blah blah. Whatever. Did you see the last movie? Hello?!?! Aragorn wanted Leggy so bad, even my homophobic elder brother said "OH! Just shag and get it over with already!!!" *hehe* So, leave us pervy slash faciers to our slashy menz. Why not go read a nice Mary-Sue Romance? Hmmm? *gags at the thought*
Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews! As per usual, personal thanks at the end of the chapter.
Reminder: ".." denotes Westron (English or Common) Speech, '..' denotes Elvish Speech, ::..:: denotes thoughts, [..] denotes translations to some elvish words that I inserted to make myself seem cool.
This chapter (updated quicker than I have *ever* updated before) is dedicated to those who have not given up on this story and especially to EtheLeA. This chappie is to cheer you up.... *smiles*
WARNING: First part of this chapter is fluffy. I am feeling mooshy and not so funny. Hurr. I fear this will not be my funniest.... Oh! And this chapter is brought to you by the word "SMOOTH". Amaze yout friends and family by inserting this word randomly in your vocabulary! Smooth. Not just for describing beer anymore. XD
Here we go!
The King's New Clothes
(A silly fic by Sly-chan)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Five: Of Secrets and Surprises
An uninterested Aragorn pushed food about his plate with his fork. Even the elven cuisine that Imladris was reknowed for did little to coax his non existent appetite. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of his beautiful elven lover and his wounded, but still perfectly delectable, elven behind.
The King of Men sighed. Everything that surrounded him reminded him of his lover's absence. How he wished nothing more than to have been brave enough, three years past, to have told Arwen of his relationship with Legolas. If he would have done that, then the prince would not be lying, alone and in pain, in some random bed in Imladris, suffering from such an "unfortunate" wound.
::I might as well have shot that arrow myself!:: he thought sadly.
Aragorn then looked down at his plate and was surprised to see that he had subconsciously made a likeness of Legolas with his meagre dinner. Light angel hair pasta, two strips of red pepper and two strategically placed olives with sauce outlining an angular face and shapely nose made the King's heart wrench.
::I wonder how he is doing. Maybe I should go check on him. I know Elrond threatened to kill me if I tried anything while Legolas was in a drugged state, but I have to see him!:: He looked down at his plate and gently touched a saucy pointed ear. He then shook his head. ::All this worrying about him is driving me insane!::
With that, Elessar, King of Gondor, pushed the plate away from His person. He regally rose from his chair and, with a flourish, left the table, thus announcing his departure from the near empty dining hall.
Elrond quirked an eyebrow and was about to chase down and reprimand the young king when a gentle hand was placed on his arm, restraining him. Elrond looked over to see a smilling Glorfindel.
'Leave him be, Elrond.' whispered the fair-haired Lord. 'He is obviously worried about the young prince. Let him see with his own eyes that his love is resting and safe from harm.' His hand then began to trace soothing circles on the Elf Lord's arm. 'I am sure that you would be just as worried if you were the one who had a lover who was wounded and resting in that bed.' said the blond Eldar so only Elrond could hear.
Elrond's hand discreetly travelled and rested on the other Lord's.
'You are right.' he sighed in defeat and gazed deeply into the deep azure pools that were Glorfindel's eyes. 'How came you to be so much wiser than this old fool?'
'I am not wise, my Lord.' said Glorfindel as he smiled softly. 'One is not wise when in love....' The blond Lord then raised the healer's hand to press a soft kiss on the smooth skin. 'Just perceptive.'
Aware that others might be watching, the two Lords regained their composure.
Glorfindel cleared his throat. A funny gesture seeing as elves never become ill with colds or laryngitis.
'Now, Lord Elrond. I remember you promising me the tale of how our fair prince of Mirkwood was wounded.' said Glorfindel, elegantly rising from his chair and smoothing out the wrinkles in his robes.
'Ah! That I did, Lord Glorfindel.' began Elrond, a michievous smirk appearing on his lips. 'Shall we retire to my, er, study to discuss such matters?' Elrond rose and began to walk hurriedly towards his rooms.
'Lead the way, my Lord.' said Glorfindel, trying to hurry his pace to catch up with the dark-haired Lord.
::Although:: thought the blond Lord ::It will be difficult to talk with our mouths occupied...:: Glorfindel grinned and continued to follow the dark-haired Lord.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As the two Elf Lords beat their retreat to a more 'private' location, Aragorn was striding down a random hall in search of Legolas' room.
::Why oh why did I never get a map of this place? I think I'm lost!:: thought a very frustrated Aragorn.
There were a few random elves that passed him by but he, being a manly man and all, did not stop any to ask for directions.
"Crap!" he exclaimed as he found himself in the same hallway leading to the dining hall. Again. "Damn Elrond and his love of big things!" cried Aragorn in frustration.
(Somewhere else in Imladris, there was a loud sneeze. Elrond thought to himself: ::Elves aren't suppose to get colds!?::)
Just then, Aragorn, son of Arathorn, felt something cold pressed against his neck.
"What is this? A Ranger caught of his guard?" said a mysterious voice.
Aragorn froze in fear, his eyes becoming big like saucers and his heart beating too rapidly than was humanly possible. There were very few things that managed to scare the bejeebus out of the mighty king of men: Fire retardant Nazgul, Uruk-Hai that just won't die, his sword breaking, not being able to "perform", fluffy white bunnies and-
"ARWEN?!?!"
TBC....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Short. That was short. Too short. And unfunneh. Hey! At least we saw some El/Del (Elrond/Glorfindel) right? *dodges tomatoes* Sorry. Will update again soon.
Personal Thanks:
slasher lover: HEE HEE! I thought the code name would be a cute scene to add. Glad you liked it. I love the twins in fanfiction. I always like to see them having a good time but being great warriors when the time/situation asks for it. I was kinda sad that they weren't really a big part of the books or in the first two movies *keeps her fingers crossed for ROTK* but that makes it fun for us fic readers/authors, ne? Thank you for the review!! I shall continue!
Emma the Lame: EMMA!!! I am so glad that you reviewed! I missed you soooooooo much! If you have AIM, could we chat sometime? I have my AIM name on my author's page.... *smiles* We can plot some carnage together.... *Legolas and Aragorn look worried* Elrohir's codename was cute wasn't it? It is my fave scene too. My new compy is very much like our fave elf. SLEEK! *eek!* I am updating! I am updating!!! *huggles* Take care silly! Thanks for the review!
LittleSpacedemon: Ah! You remembered my fic! Glad you liked it and reviewed! It means alot to me! I have updated as a thank you.... Thanks!! The twins are cute, aren't they?
EtheLeA: hee hee! Thanks for the TWO reviews hunny! This chapter is for you to get you out of the "school blues"..
Sylvie: Sorry Leggy! But it was either an arrow in the butt or *wipsers in his pointed ear*
Legolas: *pales* You WOULDN'T!!!
Sylvie: *smiles evilly* I would. *points to the twins who are grinning*
Legolas: I will be good.
Twins: *frown*
Heheheheh! Take care OK? Thanks for the reviewS!
Sariyuki: HI! *huggles* A new reader! YAY! I am glad that you like my story! That is really encouraging and fuels me to continue! *drinks the hot chocolate but not before adding some "secret sauce" to it* Mmmm.... I hope I make you laugh again soon! *hugs* Thanks for the review!
Faye: LAURIE! I am glad that you liked the new chapter! And making fun of movie Arwen never grows old.... NEVER. And the twins (especially Elladan) will not have it easy for sure. *hugs* Thanks, hun!
In Dreams: Hee hee! Yup! Glorfindel is HELLA cool! I love him very much and was so upset that he was not in the movie (well, I think he was the elf noble dressed in blue sitting near Gandalf at the Council of Elrond but I am not sure....) I am glad that you are enjoping this story! Thanks for the review!
One last thing.... This fic will be coming to an end soon. But I want to know, would you like a sequel? Let me know either by e-mail or a review if you think that would be fun.
Thank you to all my reviewers and silent readers out there in ff.net land! See you in chapter 6!