For disclaimers and other such things, please see chapter one. Heh. I don't
have to add I hope...
Author Notes: Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! You are the wind beneath my wings! *feels cheesy* As per usual, personal thanks at the end of the chapter. Well, as a super duper thank you, this chapter is LONG and it is updated quite faster than my usual speed! YAY!
Reminder: ".." denotes Westron (English or Common) Speech, '..' denotes Elvish Speech, ::..:: denotes thoughts, [..] denotes translations to some elvish words that I inserted to make myself seem cool.
This chapter, and indeed the whole fic, is dedicated to my favourite LOTR fanfic authors AND the readers and reviewers of this fic. GO YOU!
Another random note: One of my reviewers (well, a few actually) have questioned why I named this fic the way I have. You see, this fic went in a REALLY different direction then I had originally planned but it will still have *something* to do with the title. Trust me. *wicked grin* And I do know what the twins are planning. They told me! *evil grin* Keep reading to find out!
Anyway, here we go!
The King's New Clothes (A silly fic by Sly-chan)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Six: Of Confrontations and Conspiracies
Aragorn froze in fear.
::Oh Sweet Elbereth! Please let her be in a good mood!:: Thought a desperate Aragorn as he slowly turned around to face his doom.
To a traveler or newcomer to Imladris, the sight that Aragorn was now facing might appear to be one of serene beauty and elegance. But to those that have lived in Imladris for more than a week, and thus knew the Evenstar of the elves, it was a sight that would make even the meanest of Orcs and the fiercest of Uruk-Hai soil themselves in terror.
Arwen stood before Aragorn, immaculate in a gown of the deepest blue with a silver trim. Her hair was a fine, dark, silky mass of loose ringlets that hung to just below her slender waist. Her face was calm but her eyes...Aragorn shivered at the sight. Her eyes seemed to be alight with fury and rage.
::Nope.:: thought Aragorn ::Definitely not in a good mood. Damn. Why must the Valar laugh at me so?::
Aragorn regained his composure and, with the mysterious cold object still pressed against his neck, began to speak.
"Why, Arwen! Hello! And how fairs thee, my lady, on this fine-"
"Oh stow it, ranger boy!" interrupted the dark haired beauty, her tone even and ethereal. No doubt a skill she had learned from her grandmother, Galadriel, during her century-long sojourn in Lothlorien.
"Why, my Lady! What have I done to displease you so as to lay your-" he looked down at what was pressed against his neck. "Hand mirror?" Aragorn shook his head and cleared his throat. "My lady. Please. I beg thee to tell me what I did to have earned your wrath and I promise thee that I will make amends!"
::Dammit! Why can't I summon enough courage as to tell her that it is over between her and I? Oh Legolas! Give me strength...::
"My dear, sweet Estel." she paused to lay her hand on his stubbled cheek. "Whatever made you think that something was amiss?" continued Arwen, using her best sugary-sweet voice.
Aragorn knew better than to answer right away. He has known Arwen for a few decades already and knew that she was just baiting him.
"Just because you had missed my presentation earlier this day and was not there to greet me for the evening meal, is no reason for me to be a little upset, correct?" Aragorn just stared at her, reminding himself to breathe.
"Arwen...Y-You know the reasons for that. Legolas was hurt. What was I suppose to do?" said Aragorn.
"You could have dropped him off at the infirmary or in one of the servants' arms." She removed the mirror from his neck and waved her free hand in a sign of callousness. "He would have been well taken care of." Explained Arwen, as she set her mirror in its holder on her waist. "But that matters not now. Tell me, MY Estel..."
Aragorn cringed in anticipation for a flurry of furious blows to come raining upon his head.
"How do I look this evening?" she said with a smile. "Be honest!"
By "be honest" she meant "praise the heck out of me and make it sickening".
Aragorn gritted his teeth. It was now or never. After all, is he a man or a mouse?
"You look lovely as per usual, my lady! Fresh like a spring bloom reaching for the morning sun! Shining and twinkling like the evening stars borne from Elbereth's own hands!"
Evidently, he was a mouse. Squeak.
"Oh Aragorn! You flatter me so!" she blushed her well-rehearsed blush and gave her hand to him. "Do go on!"
Aragorn took her hand and was about to kiss it when he was reminded of Legolas...Lying in that bed...Hurt because of the secret they felt compelled to keep from all out of fear of the Evenstar's wrath.
"No more." said Aragorn to himself.
"What was that, Estel?" said a surprised Evenstar.
"No more. I cannot hide it anymore. Arwen, I-I am in love-" began a slightly nervous Aragorn.
"Oh Estel-" interrupted Arwen.
"No, please! Let me finish!" said Aragorn as he turned away from Arwen.
"I am in love with the kindest, most gentle elf in all of Middle-Earth-" said Aragorn as he closed his eyes and pictured Legolas.
"Go on." said Arwen. ::I'm sure that what he meant by "kind and gentle" was "independent and commanding".:: she thought to herself.
"With fair skin, beautiful full lips and hair the colour of spun gold-" he continued with a faint smile dancing on his lips.
"Yes. Go on." said an oblivious Arwen. ::I'm sure that by "hair of spun gold" he means "dark as the fertile earth".::
"He is truly a wondrous soul and I love him as I have loved no other..." said Aragorn as he turned to face Arwen.
::By he, he means she...:: continued to ponder the confused Arwen.
"Arwen, do you understand what I am saying?" asked the King of Men.
"Yes Aragorn!" said an excited Arwen.
"Then we are in agreement." said Aragorn, relief plain on his face.
"Yes we are! I will announce our engagement at once!" she said as she darted off in the direction of her father's study with pictures from the "Spring Elf Bride" magazine dancing in her head.
Before Aragorn could react, she was gone. A cold breeze blew about him.
"CRAP!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Legolas's room, Elrohir, having come to, is now pouting. And looking mighty cute at doing so.
'Look, I said I was sorry!' whispered a desperate Elladan to the pouting Elrohir. 'You know that I would NEVER purposely hurt you. You are my brother. My twin to be precise. And what you feel, I feel.'
'Then tell me why, my dearest twin...' said Elrohir in an uncharacteristically sarcastic tone. 'Why did you not hit the floor seconds after I blacked out?' Elrohir's tone went from "covert whispering" mode to "everyone within elven earshot can hear" mode.
'Shhh! You will awaken him and we will not be able to go through with our plan!' whispered an annoyed Elladan.
'Fine! You don't need me here. You don't want me here...' sniffed the younger twin. 'I-I don't need to stay here and take this abuse! I-I can go to Erestor to get this kind of abuse.'
Elladan rolled his eyes and put a comforting arm around his brother's shoulders. 'I need you Elrohir. That is why you have to stay with me.' he looked into his twin's face and saw he was unconvinced. 'Besides, I cannot play, ugh, "Dress Up Spies" without you! Come Elrohir!'
Elrohir smiled and wiped his eyes. 'Elladan. My code name is ELLADAN!' He then stood proudly and whipped his cape to cover his face.
Elladan sighed. 'I thought I told you that we could not use our real names!'
'But, 'tis not my real name.' said the confused twin. 'My name is Elrohir. Are you well, brother? Maybe the plate hit your head a little too hard and gave you a concussion!'
Elladan pressed his slender fingers to his temples. 'Actually, I think I am getting a migraine.'
'Oh! While you are out, can you get me something to drink? I would like a nice glass of lemonade!' said a clueless 'Elladan'. 'You idiot. A migraine is-' Elladan stopped to think for a moment. 'You know, I am not sure. But it is running rampant in Imladris right now.'
Elrohir was about to say something when Legolas stirred again in his drug induced slumber.
'I wonder what he is dreaming about.' asked Elrohir.
'Let's just hope it is a peaceful and long dream. Let's get to work, Elrohir!'
Elrohir glared at Elladan before whipping the cape before his face once more.
Elladan sighed. 'Let's get to work, ELLADAN!'
Elrohir giggled. 'Sure thing, uh. Umm, Elladan? You did not choose a code name! How will I know what to call you if you did not choose a code name!'
Elladan smiled and whipped his cape before his face. 'Legolas. My code name is LEGOLAS!' He then began to laugh softly.
'That's a dumb code name.' said Elrohir.
Elladan smacked him upside the head.
'Let's just get this over with!'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas opened his eyes and was confused by the scene that lay before him. He was surrounded by clouds and soft light.
::This is...strange. The last thing I remember was being carried in Aragorn's arms after I could no longer-:: Legolas' eyes widened in realization. ::I must be dead! T-This must be the way before the Halls of Mandos!::
Legolas sighed. As a proud warrior, this was not the way he imagined he would bite the big one.
::How could I have died of such an embarrassing wound? Although there was poison on the tip of that arrow...?:: He shook his head. ::The poison did not feel fatal and there was not enough of it to kill an immortal like myself...:: Legolas continued to think to himself as he began to wander among the clouds.
::I must have died of embarrassment! If elves can die from grief, why not from embarrassment?:: He then stopped dead in his tracks. His fair face fell and a look of deep sadness overtook his features.
::Aragorn. My Estel. Oh! Why did I have to die and leave him behind to a fate worse than death?:: The slender elf shivered as he thought of Arwen trying to take advantage of His human's grief.
::There has to be a way out of this! After all, if Glorfindel can come back from here, I can too! There must be some kind of exit or some room where I can barter with Mandos Himself! Why did I not pay attention when Glorfindel told this story?!::
Legolas then began to run. After what seemed an eternity, he stopped dead in his tracks and, thanks to his elven grace, was able to stop himself before coming face to wood with a door.
::Strange. Why is there a lone door here?:: He thought as he looked around. ::It is strange but...This door is not attached to a wall or anything. I'll even wager that I can circle it.::
Legolas took in a deep breath and attempted to do so. And he succeeded.
::What is this new devilry?:: he thought in frustration. ::Maybe if I were to try and open it-::
As he reached for the knob, he heard a mysterious voice. Two of them actually.
"HALT!" said the first voice.
"Who goes before The Door? " said the second.
::Damn. I knew that it was far too easy...::
"I am just an elf that is looking to return to where he belongs." Legolas turned to face the two voices and saw-
"Merry and Pippin?!? What are you doing here at the Door to Mandos's Halls?" questioned a very surprised Legolas.
"Master Elf..." began the one that looked like Merry. "We are not your friends."
"We merely took on the forms of two of those familiar to you." Explained the one that looked like Pippin. "When we saw you, we probed your mind and took on these forms so as to not scare you."
"But why did you take on the forms of these two hobbit? Why not Elrond or Glorfindel? Or maybe Gandalf?" asked the elf.
Both guards, as indeed they were guards, looked at the other hoping to find the answer.
"Hey! You are in no position to question us!" began Pippin.
"It is OUR JOB to question you. What is your business before The Door?" asked Merry.
"I wish to return to my home and my love." Legolas answered, sadness deep in his voice. "Please! You must let me through this door!"
"That is not the way home, Master Elf." Began Merry.
"Besides, before we can even let you in The Door, you must answer these questions three!" said Pippin.
Merry smacked him. "We are not playing that game today! We are suppose to be serious!"
Pippin rubbed the spot on his head where Merry struck him. "But! We never get to play this game anymore! It is so rare that people are dumb enough-"
Legolas cleared his throat. "Yes. Well. If you will not help me, I guess I will just continue to wander around here."
"We are indeed sorry, Master Elf. But we wish you luck on your journey." Said Merry as he stopped strangling Pippin.
"Aw! C'mon! Why don't you stay and play the game! It is fun!" Said Pippin, smiling and signalling for Legolas to come closer.
"No! No guessing game today! You remember what happened last time!" scolded Merry.
"That last guy was burned only on 80% of his body! It was not my fault he chose wrong!"
As the hobbits continued to argue, Legolas slowly made his way to the door and, with his elven agility, opened it quickly and ran inside.
"Crap." Said Merry.
"Maybe we should have told him that he is dreaming and that all he had to do was open his eyes?" Queried Pippin.
"He's an elf. He does not sleep with his eyes closed." Explained Merry.
"Oh. Well, we should at least have warned him that that door was perilous?" Continued Pippin.
"Hey. We are GUARDS. Not WARNERS. We did our job and "guarded" The Door." Said Merry as he places his arm around the younger hobbit's shoulders. "Come, Pip. Let's go have a drink."
"Sounds good to me. But this time, you wear the dress!"
"Spoilsport."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Behind the door, Legolas found himself in pitch darkness with his inner light glowing faintly.
::Darn it! I knew that I should have asked those guys for directions!:: He thought in despair.
Legolas looked ahead and saw a light.
::My elven instincts are telling me to turn back but I am curious as to what that light is.:: thought Legolas to himself. ::Oh well! What is the worse that can happen when you are already dead?::
With that having been said, well, thought, Legolas ran towards the light.
Once he reached it, he was blinded and for a moment all was quiet. He kept his eyes tightly closed and heard a familiar voice.
"Are you going to stand there all day? We must quicken our pace if we are to reach Merry and Pippin!"
::Funny, I just left Merry and Pippin...:: He then opened his eyes and saw... Himself?!?
Legolas looked at "Legolas" in confusion.
"My friend, are you well?" said a very concerned "Legolas".
::What the heck is going on here?:: he thought.
"Aragorn! Come here! I think we need your healing skills!" called out the false Legolas.
Legolas rubbed his eyes trying to come to grips with the situation. Then he saw him. Aragorn. His Estel.
"Aragorn!" he called out. ::Odd. That is not my voice.::
He then tried to run up to Aragorn but his steps were not as light as they usually were and he was now aware that he was wearing very heavy armour.
But that did not stop Legolas from running up to Aragorn and hugging him tightly...about the waist.
"Umm, Gimli? Is all well?" asked Aragorn as he looked down at person hugging his waist.
::Gimli? Why did he call me-:: With great speed, or as fast as one can run with 30 pounds of armour on, he ran to the nearest stream and looked at his reflection.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Thank yous:
EtheLeA: As usual, your reviews make me smile. There will be a sequel. But then again, you already knew that didn't you? Hehehe. I still have two very good ideas for one-shot fics but right now, my TKNC bunny is biting me pretty hard! I even have some of the next chapter written already!! Go me! Meeting you would be a dream! Why not go to college here in Canada? Huh? Why not? LOL *giggles at the little Aragorn, El/Del moment* You know, that is the way I picture him reacting to that especially after they gave him the whole "You can't keep anything secret here in Imladris!" speech. LOL Take care hunny!
Aragorn67: The insanity may never end I fear. For you see, I am insane and I love to infect others. Mwahahah! Just kidding! Glad you are enjoying the fic! Thanks for the review!!
Shauna: I am glad that you think this fic is funny. I am afraid that this fic went in a wildly different direction then I had first intended though. But, the twins have assure me that this fic will have a point and it WILL have SOMETHING to do with the title. But then again, they are known to play tricks. LOL Thanks for the review!
Ithildin: Two Reviews? Dang! I better get a move on! Sauron fruitcake is pretty scary and I don't even want to think about Melkor *shivers*!!! I added you to my LJ friends BTW... Thanks for the review and UPDATE!!!
Faye: Heeheh. Laurie! You and Vincent still got it! Now give it!! LOL
In Dreams: Yup! I do think that! MAH SISTAH! *hugs you* I know that some peeps say that PJ says its not him but COME ON! Glorfindel! He DESERVES to be in that movie!! Thanks for the review!
LittleSpacedemon: Yup! I wrote more about the twins and Arwen, well, she took more than his head... Poor Aragorn! Again, thanks for the review!!
Emma the Lame: Emma!! *glomps you* I have missed you preciousssss... You have not updated the sequel to your story and you are not online at the same time as me! *WAHHHH!* There will be a sequel to my story... and it will be TOTALLY SLY-CHAN. Oh yes. A/L Forevah! *hugs* You take care and thanks for the review!
I am on the favourites list of 5 people! YAYAYAYAY! You guys all rick and I will try my best to make you all proud!!
Well, that is it for now. Thank you to all my reviewers and silent readers! See you in chapter 7!
Author Notes: Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! You are the wind beneath my wings! *feels cheesy* As per usual, personal thanks at the end of the chapter. Well, as a super duper thank you, this chapter is LONG and it is updated quite faster than my usual speed! YAY!
Reminder: ".." denotes Westron (English or Common) Speech, '..' denotes Elvish Speech, ::..:: denotes thoughts, [..] denotes translations to some elvish words that I inserted to make myself seem cool.
This chapter, and indeed the whole fic, is dedicated to my favourite LOTR fanfic authors AND the readers and reviewers of this fic. GO YOU!
Another random note: One of my reviewers (well, a few actually) have questioned why I named this fic the way I have. You see, this fic went in a REALLY different direction then I had originally planned but it will still have *something* to do with the title. Trust me. *wicked grin* And I do know what the twins are planning. They told me! *evil grin* Keep reading to find out!
Anyway, here we go!
The King's New Clothes (A silly fic by Sly-chan)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Six: Of Confrontations and Conspiracies
Aragorn froze in fear.
::Oh Sweet Elbereth! Please let her be in a good mood!:: Thought a desperate Aragorn as he slowly turned around to face his doom.
To a traveler or newcomer to Imladris, the sight that Aragorn was now facing might appear to be one of serene beauty and elegance. But to those that have lived in Imladris for more than a week, and thus knew the Evenstar of the elves, it was a sight that would make even the meanest of Orcs and the fiercest of Uruk-Hai soil themselves in terror.
Arwen stood before Aragorn, immaculate in a gown of the deepest blue with a silver trim. Her hair was a fine, dark, silky mass of loose ringlets that hung to just below her slender waist. Her face was calm but her eyes...Aragorn shivered at the sight. Her eyes seemed to be alight with fury and rage.
::Nope.:: thought Aragorn ::Definitely not in a good mood. Damn. Why must the Valar laugh at me so?::
Aragorn regained his composure and, with the mysterious cold object still pressed against his neck, began to speak.
"Why, Arwen! Hello! And how fairs thee, my lady, on this fine-"
"Oh stow it, ranger boy!" interrupted the dark haired beauty, her tone even and ethereal. No doubt a skill she had learned from her grandmother, Galadriel, during her century-long sojourn in Lothlorien.
"Why, my Lady! What have I done to displease you so as to lay your-" he looked down at what was pressed against his neck. "Hand mirror?" Aragorn shook his head and cleared his throat. "My lady. Please. I beg thee to tell me what I did to have earned your wrath and I promise thee that I will make amends!"
::Dammit! Why can't I summon enough courage as to tell her that it is over between her and I? Oh Legolas! Give me strength...::
"My dear, sweet Estel." she paused to lay her hand on his stubbled cheek. "Whatever made you think that something was amiss?" continued Arwen, using her best sugary-sweet voice.
Aragorn knew better than to answer right away. He has known Arwen for a few decades already and knew that she was just baiting him.
"Just because you had missed my presentation earlier this day and was not there to greet me for the evening meal, is no reason for me to be a little upset, correct?" Aragorn just stared at her, reminding himself to breathe.
"Arwen...Y-You know the reasons for that. Legolas was hurt. What was I suppose to do?" said Aragorn.
"You could have dropped him off at the infirmary or in one of the servants' arms." She removed the mirror from his neck and waved her free hand in a sign of callousness. "He would have been well taken care of." Explained Arwen, as she set her mirror in its holder on her waist. "But that matters not now. Tell me, MY Estel..."
Aragorn cringed in anticipation for a flurry of furious blows to come raining upon his head.
"How do I look this evening?" she said with a smile. "Be honest!"
By "be honest" she meant "praise the heck out of me and make it sickening".
Aragorn gritted his teeth. It was now or never. After all, is he a man or a mouse?
"You look lovely as per usual, my lady! Fresh like a spring bloom reaching for the morning sun! Shining and twinkling like the evening stars borne from Elbereth's own hands!"
Evidently, he was a mouse. Squeak.
"Oh Aragorn! You flatter me so!" she blushed her well-rehearsed blush and gave her hand to him. "Do go on!"
Aragorn took her hand and was about to kiss it when he was reminded of Legolas...Lying in that bed...Hurt because of the secret they felt compelled to keep from all out of fear of the Evenstar's wrath.
"No more." said Aragorn to himself.
"What was that, Estel?" said a surprised Evenstar.
"No more. I cannot hide it anymore. Arwen, I-I am in love-" began a slightly nervous Aragorn.
"Oh Estel-" interrupted Arwen.
"No, please! Let me finish!" said Aragorn as he turned away from Arwen.
"I am in love with the kindest, most gentle elf in all of Middle-Earth-" said Aragorn as he closed his eyes and pictured Legolas.
"Go on." said Arwen. ::I'm sure that what he meant by "kind and gentle" was "independent and commanding".:: she thought to herself.
"With fair skin, beautiful full lips and hair the colour of spun gold-" he continued with a faint smile dancing on his lips.
"Yes. Go on." said an oblivious Arwen. ::I'm sure that by "hair of spun gold" he means "dark as the fertile earth".::
"He is truly a wondrous soul and I love him as I have loved no other..." said Aragorn as he turned to face Arwen.
::By he, he means she...:: continued to ponder the confused Arwen.
"Arwen, do you understand what I am saying?" asked the King of Men.
"Yes Aragorn!" said an excited Arwen.
"Then we are in agreement." said Aragorn, relief plain on his face.
"Yes we are! I will announce our engagement at once!" she said as she darted off in the direction of her father's study with pictures from the "Spring Elf Bride" magazine dancing in her head.
Before Aragorn could react, she was gone. A cold breeze blew about him.
"CRAP!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In Legolas's room, Elrohir, having come to, is now pouting. And looking mighty cute at doing so.
'Look, I said I was sorry!' whispered a desperate Elladan to the pouting Elrohir. 'You know that I would NEVER purposely hurt you. You are my brother. My twin to be precise. And what you feel, I feel.'
'Then tell me why, my dearest twin...' said Elrohir in an uncharacteristically sarcastic tone. 'Why did you not hit the floor seconds after I blacked out?' Elrohir's tone went from "covert whispering" mode to "everyone within elven earshot can hear" mode.
'Shhh! You will awaken him and we will not be able to go through with our plan!' whispered an annoyed Elladan.
'Fine! You don't need me here. You don't want me here...' sniffed the younger twin. 'I-I don't need to stay here and take this abuse! I-I can go to Erestor to get this kind of abuse.'
Elladan rolled his eyes and put a comforting arm around his brother's shoulders. 'I need you Elrohir. That is why you have to stay with me.' he looked into his twin's face and saw he was unconvinced. 'Besides, I cannot play, ugh, "Dress Up Spies" without you! Come Elrohir!'
Elrohir smiled and wiped his eyes. 'Elladan. My code name is ELLADAN!' He then stood proudly and whipped his cape to cover his face.
Elladan sighed. 'I thought I told you that we could not use our real names!'
'But, 'tis not my real name.' said the confused twin. 'My name is Elrohir. Are you well, brother? Maybe the plate hit your head a little too hard and gave you a concussion!'
Elladan pressed his slender fingers to his temples. 'Actually, I think I am getting a migraine.'
'Oh! While you are out, can you get me something to drink? I would like a nice glass of lemonade!' said a clueless 'Elladan'. 'You idiot. A migraine is-' Elladan stopped to think for a moment. 'You know, I am not sure. But it is running rampant in Imladris right now.'
Elrohir was about to say something when Legolas stirred again in his drug induced slumber.
'I wonder what he is dreaming about.' asked Elrohir.
'Let's just hope it is a peaceful and long dream. Let's get to work, Elrohir!'
Elrohir glared at Elladan before whipping the cape before his face once more.
Elladan sighed. 'Let's get to work, ELLADAN!'
Elrohir giggled. 'Sure thing, uh. Umm, Elladan? You did not choose a code name! How will I know what to call you if you did not choose a code name!'
Elladan smiled and whipped his cape before his face. 'Legolas. My code name is LEGOLAS!' He then began to laugh softly.
'That's a dumb code name.' said Elrohir.
Elladan smacked him upside the head.
'Let's just get this over with!'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas opened his eyes and was confused by the scene that lay before him. He was surrounded by clouds and soft light.
::This is...strange. The last thing I remember was being carried in Aragorn's arms after I could no longer-:: Legolas' eyes widened in realization. ::I must be dead! T-This must be the way before the Halls of Mandos!::
Legolas sighed. As a proud warrior, this was not the way he imagined he would bite the big one.
::How could I have died of such an embarrassing wound? Although there was poison on the tip of that arrow...?:: He shook his head. ::The poison did not feel fatal and there was not enough of it to kill an immortal like myself...:: Legolas continued to think to himself as he began to wander among the clouds.
::I must have died of embarrassment! If elves can die from grief, why not from embarrassment?:: He then stopped dead in his tracks. His fair face fell and a look of deep sadness overtook his features.
::Aragorn. My Estel. Oh! Why did I have to die and leave him behind to a fate worse than death?:: The slender elf shivered as he thought of Arwen trying to take advantage of His human's grief.
::There has to be a way out of this! After all, if Glorfindel can come back from here, I can too! There must be some kind of exit or some room where I can barter with Mandos Himself! Why did I not pay attention when Glorfindel told this story?!::
Legolas then began to run. After what seemed an eternity, he stopped dead in his tracks and, thanks to his elven grace, was able to stop himself before coming face to wood with a door.
::Strange. Why is there a lone door here?:: He thought as he looked around. ::It is strange but...This door is not attached to a wall or anything. I'll even wager that I can circle it.::
Legolas took in a deep breath and attempted to do so. And he succeeded.
::What is this new devilry?:: he thought in frustration. ::Maybe if I were to try and open it-::
As he reached for the knob, he heard a mysterious voice. Two of them actually.
"HALT!" said the first voice.
"Who goes before The Door? " said the second.
::Damn. I knew that it was far too easy...::
"I am just an elf that is looking to return to where he belongs." Legolas turned to face the two voices and saw-
"Merry and Pippin?!? What are you doing here at the Door to Mandos's Halls?" questioned a very surprised Legolas.
"Master Elf..." began the one that looked like Merry. "We are not your friends."
"We merely took on the forms of two of those familiar to you." Explained the one that looked like Pippin. "When we saw you, we probed your mind and took on these forms so as to not scare you."
"But why did you take on the forms of these two hobbit? Why not Elrond or Glorfindel? Or maybe Gandalf?" asked the elf.
Both guards, as indeed they were guards, looked at the other hoping to find the answer.
"Hey! You are in no position to question us!" began Pippin.
"It is OUR JOB to question you. What is your business before The Door?" asked Merry.
"I wish to return to my home and my love." Legolas answered, sadness deep in his voice. "Please! You must let me through this door!"
"That is not the way home, Master Elf." Began Merry.
"Besides, before we can even let you in The Door, you must answer these questions three!" said Pippin.
Merry smacked him. "We are not playing that game today! We are suppose to be serious!"
Pippin rubbed the spot on his head where Merry struck him. "But! We never get to play this game anymore! It is so rare that people are dumb enough-"
Legolas cleared his throat. "Yes. Well. If you will not help me, I guess I will just continue to wander around here."
"We are indeed sorry, Master Elf. But we wish you luck on your journey." Said Merry as he stopped strangling Pippin.
"Aw! C'mon! Why don't you stay and play the game! It is fun!" Said Pippin, smiling and signalling for Legolas to come closer.
"No! No guessing game today! You remember what happened last time!" scolded Merry.
"That last guy was burned only on 80% of his body! It was not my fault he chose wrong!"
As the hobbits continued to argue, Legolas slowly made his way to the door and, with his elven agility, opened it quickly and ran inside.
"Crap." Said Merry.
"Maybe we should have told him that he is dreaming and that all he had to do was open his eyes?" Queried Pippin.
"He's an elf. He does not sleep with his eyes closed." Explained Merry.
"Oh. Well, we should at least have warned him that that door was perilous?" Continued Pippin.
"Hey. We are GUARDS. Not WARNERS. We did our job and "guarded" The Door." Said Merry as he places his arm around the younger hobbit's shoulders. "Come, Pip. Let's go have a drink."
"Sounds good to me. But this time, you wear the dress!"
"Spoilsport."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Behind the door, Legolas found himself in pitch darkness with his inner light glowing faintly.
::Darn it! I knew that I should have asked those guys for directions!:: He thought in despair.
Legolas looked ahead and saw a light.
::My elven instincts are telling me to turn back but I am curious as to what that light is.:: thought Legolas to himself. ::Oh well! What is the worse that can happen when you are already dead?::
With that having been said, well, thought, Legolas ran towards the light.
Once he reached it, he was blinded and for a moment all was quiet. He kept his eyes tightly closed and heard a familiar voice.
"Are you going to stand there all day? We must quicken our pace if we are to reach Merry and Pippin!"
::Funny, I just left Merry and Pippin...:: He then opened his eyes and saw... Himself?!?
Legolas looked at "Legolas" in confusion.
"My friend, are you well?" said a very concerned "Legolas".
::What the heck is going on here?:: he thought.
"Aragorn! Come here! I think we need your healing skills!" called out the false Legolas.
Legolas rubbed his eyes trying to come to grips with the situation. Then he saw him. Aragorn. His Estel.
"Aragorn!" he called out. ::Odd. That is not my voice.::
He then tried to run up to Aragorn but his steps were not as light as they usually were and he was now aware that he was wearing very heavy armour.
But that did not stop Legolas from running up to Aragorn and hugging him tightly...about the waist.
"Umm, Gimli? Is all well?" asked Aragorn as he looked down at person hugging his waist.
::Gimli? Why did he call me-:: With great speed, or as fast as one can run with 30 pounds of armour on, he ran to the nearest stream and looked at his reflection.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Thank yous:
EtheLeA: As usual, your reviews make me smile. There will be a sequel. But then again, you already knew that didn't you? Hehehe. I still have two very good ideas for one-shot fics but right now, my TKNC bunny is biting me pretty hard! I even have some of the next chapter written already!! Go me! Meeting you would be a dream! Why not go to college here in Canada? Huh? Why not? LOL *giggles at the little Aragorn, El/Del moment* You know, that is the way I picture him reacting to that especially after they gave him the whole "You can't keep anything secret here in Imladris!" speech. LOL Take care hunny!
Aragorn67: The insanity may never end I fear. For you see, I am insane and I love to infect others. Mwahahah! Just kidding! Glad you are enjoying the fic! Thanks for the review!!
Shauna: I am glad that you think this fic is funny. I am afraid that this fic went in a wildly different direction then I had first intended though. But, the twins have assure me that this fic will have a point and it WILL have SOMETHING to do with the title. But then again, they are known to play tricks. LOL Thanks for the review!
Ithildin: Two Reviews? Dang! I better get a move on! Sauron fruitcake is pretty scary and I don't even want to think about Melkor *shivers*!!! I added you to my LJ friends BTW... Thanks for the review and UPDATE!!!
Faye: Heeheh. Laurie! You and Vincent still got it! Now give it!! LOL
In Dreams: Yup! I do think that! MAH SISTAH! *hugs you* I know that some peeps say that PJ says its not him but COME ON! Glorfindel! He DESERVES to be in that movie!! Thanks for the review!
LittleSpacedemon: Yup! I wrote more about the twins and Arwen, well, she took more than his head... Poor Aragorn! Again, thanks for the review!!
Emma the Lame: Emma!! *glomps you* I have missed you preciousssss... You have not updated the sequel to your story and you are not online at the same time as me! *WAHHHH!* There will be a sequel to my story... and it will be TOTALLY SLY-CHAN. Oh yes. A/L Forevah! *hugs* You take care and thanks for the review!
I am on the favourites list of 5 people! YAYAYAYAY! You guys all rick and I will try my best to make you all proud!!
Well, that is it for now. Thank you to all my reviewers and silent readers! See you in chapter 7!