TITLE: Smack
AUTHOR: Sun Tzu(me)
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing related to ALIAS. Just expressing my talent through fanfiction.
SUMMARY: AU-Sydney ran away from her life with her father. What happens when years later, her world comes crashing down and old memories are revoked? WIP
A/N: Many of the concepts of this story are taken from the book 'Smack' by Melvin Burgess. Great book. Really speaks the truth. I am comparing Sydney to both Lily and Gemma. If you read it or have read it you would really enjoy it! SD-6 doesn't exist and therefore Jack is not a double agent! Sydney is only 24 years old.
FEEDBACK: Sure, why not? Keeps the updates coming!
A/N: Jeez, this one is pretty short too....In this chapter, you need to assume that Ally/Sydney has become accustomed to being called Sydney by her parents and therefore, I will be referring to her as Sydney instead of Ally like I usually do. I just think it makes it easier and more enjoyable to read! Also, Vaughn may start becoming a bigger part VERY SOON!!! ; ) Thanks for reading!!!
*
Chapter Five: Return of the Past
*
I knew you wanted to tell me, in your voice there was something wrong, but if you would turn your face away from me, you cannot tell me you're so strong...just let me ask of you one small thing, as we have shared so many tears with fervor our dreams we planned a whole lifelong now are scattered in the wind...- 'The Path of Thorns' Sarah McLachlan
*
When everyone returned home, business seemed to go on as usual. I had become increasing closer to my parents, seeing my mom nearly every other day and my dad every single day at work. I was happy. Something I never thought I could feel after K-Directorate was taken down and Alexander killed. they had been my whole world for so long, it just seemed impossible to move on, but still, here I am. I made it.
Sark and I have bought a house. A small one. One bedroom, one bathroom. Cheap and quaint, just like I always wanted it.
No kids. He doesn't want kids. I think it's hard for him to consider after Emily. We changed our world for her, but we failed her also. He couldn't ever forgive himself for that.
I do want kids, I'll admit that. Not now, maybe not for a few more years. Maybe, by then, Sark will have had a change of heart. I can still hope, after all. Can't I?
I haven't been assigned a mission in a while, but I still tend to hang out at work more than at home. Sark has been a bit distant, even secretive in the last few days. In fact, it has been more than a week since we made love, and that's really unusual for us. Sark mostly. He's always promiscuous. But not recently. Something's up. I just don't know what yet.
So, since he stays at home, I stay at work. Simple enough, or for now at least. I will confront him soon, in fact, I might tonight. That's it. I will. Tonight, I will go home, and demand to know what the hell is going on. Confrontation may not be the best way to go, but what are my other options?
I get up from my desk, seeing it is nearly 11 PM. I see a few agents I saw on my first day, laughing. There's a whole group of them in the corner, just bubbling with laughter. I remember what laughing was like. Faintly. The last time I laughed, a real laugh, not a druggie laugh, not a fake laugh, a real laugh, was when I was 13. Before I ever left home. Even then, it might have been a strained one. I can't really recall.
I grab my bag, get in my car, drive home, open the front door, and the rest is just foggy.
I remember putting my bag down. Calling out Sark's name. Seeing him on the couch. At first glance, I thought he was simply asleep. I walked closer, his lips were blue. His eyes were open, bloodshot. His expression, both blissful and deathly afraid at the same time. He wasn't breathing. He OD-ed. I knew it then. That was why he was reclusive. He was taking smack again.
Then next thing I remember, I am at work. I don't know who I'm looking for. My dad, my mom. I just don't recall. Someone. Anyone. Everyone.
The only people there are the agent's whose names I was told on the first day I arrived. I don't remember a single one though. The bulky man with black hair. The blonde woman. The sandy-haired man. I just don't remember. Everything is so blurry. Confused.
The sandy-haired man turns in his chair, and meets my eyes. My eyes are stinging from my mascara running down into them, but I keep them open. Fixated on him. Something briefly flashes in his eyes as he gets up from his chair, and walks over to me. And he hugs me, just suddenly, with nearly no warning whatsoever. I cling to him. His arms are strong, confining, comforting, warm. We've captured the attention of the other few agents, who look confused, and perhaps stunned. A girl like me, recovered junkie-punk with a nose ring, being hugged by someone I can't even remember the name of.
He releases me and takes me to an empty conference room, shutting the door.
He sits, as do I, but we say nothing.
I cry quietly.
"What...happened?" He asks me quietly, as if not to disturb me in my morning.
"He....Sark...He OD-ed." I whisper, my eyes darting around in their sockets, seeing him on the couch all over again.
"I'm sorry....Are you sure?" He asks faintly.
I nod. "The heroin. It killed Emily. It killed him. It killed everyone." I whisper, not knowing if he can hear or not.
He bows his head.
"It didn't kill you." He says after a mute minute.
I eye him carefully. "Not yet. I'm strong."
"It's stronger. It's stronger than everyone." He whispers harshly.
I stare at him, confused. I cock my head.
"My sister said that. The week before she died." He pauses. "She always told me she could beat it. She could quit anytime she wanted. She lied." He is almost in tears, it's plain to the eye. He has gone through just what I have. But he saved himself.
I reach across the table, taking his hand that sits so still in my own.
Our eyes meet.
We understand.
For once, we really understand.
We need each other. We need each other to beat it. And keep it away. Forever.
Forever.
AUTHOR: Sun Tzu(me)
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing related to ALIAS. Just expressing my talent through fanfiction.
SUMMARY: AU-Sydney ran away from her life with her father. What happens when years later, her world comes crashing down and old memories are revoked? WIP
A/N: Many of the concepts of this story are taken from the book 'Smack' by Melvin Burgess. Great book. Really speaks the truth. I am comparing Sydney to both Lily and Gemma. If you read it or have read it you would really enjoy it! SD-6 doesn't exist and therefore Jack is not a double agent! Sydney is only 24 years old.
FEEDBACK: Sure, why not? Keeps the updates coming!
A/N: Jeez, this one is pretty short too....In this chapter, you need to assume that Ally/Sydney has become accustomed to being called Sydney by her parents and therefore, I will be referring to her as Sydney instead of Ally like I usually do. I just think it makes it easier and more enjoyable to read! Also, Vaughn may start becoming a bigger part VERY SOON!!! ; ) Thanks for reading!!!
*
Chapter Five: Return of the Past
*
I knew you wanted to tell me, in your voice there was something wrong, but if you would turn your face away from me, you cannot tell me you're so strong...just let me ask of you one small thing, as we have shared so many tears with fervor our dreams we planned a whole lifelong now are scattered in the wind...- 'The Path of Thorns' Sarah McLachlan
*
When everyone returned home, business seemed to go on as usual. I had become increasing closer to my parents, seeing my mom nearly every other day and my dad every single day at work. I was happy. Something I never thought I could feel after K-Directorate was taken down and Alexander killed. they had been my whole world for so long, it just seemed impossible to move on, but still, here I am. I made it.
Sark and I have bought a house. A small one. One bedroom, one bathroom. Cheap and quaint, just like I always wanted it.
No kids. He doesn't want kids. I think it's hard for him to consider after Emily. We changed our world for her, but we failed her also. He couldn't ever forgive himself for that.
I do want kids, I'll admit that. Not now, maybe not for a few more years. Maybe, by then, Sark will have had a change of heart. I can still hope, after all. Can't I?
I haven't been assigned a mission in a while, but I still tend to hang out at work more than at home. Sark has been a bit distant, even secretive in the last few days. In fact, it has been more than a week since we made love, and that's really unusual for us. Sark mostly. He's always promiscuous. But not recently. Something's up. I just don't know what yet.
So, since he stays at home, I stay at work. Simple enough, or for now at least. I will confront him soon, in fact, I might tonight. That's it. I will. Tonight, I will go home, and demand to know what the hell is going on. Confrontation may not be the best way to go, but what are my other options?
I get up from my desk, seeing it is nearly 11 PM. I see a few agents I saw on my first day, laughing. There's a whole group of them in the corner, just bubbling with laughter. I remember what laughing was like. Faintly. The last time I laughed, a real laugh, not a druggie laugh, not a fake laugh, a real laugh, was when I was 13. Before I ever left home. Even then, it might have been a strained one. I can't really recall.
I grab my bag, get in my car, drive home, open the front door, and the rest is just foggy.
I remember putting my bag down. Calling out Sark's name. Seeing him on the couch. At first glance, I thought he was simply asleep. I walked closer, his lips were blue. His eyes were open, bloodshot. His expression, both blissful and deathly afraid at the same time. He wasn't breathing. He OD-ed. I knew it then. That was why he was reclusive. He was taking smack again.
Then next thing I remember, I am at work. I don't know who I'm looking for. My dad, my mom. I just don't recall. Someone. Anyone. Everyone.
The only people there are the agent's whose names I was told on the first day I arrived. I don't remember a single one though. The bulky man with black hair. The blonde woman. The sandy-haired man. I just don't remember. Everything is so blurry. Confused.
The sandy-haired man turns in his chair, and meets my eyes. My eyes are stinging from my mascara running down into them, but I keep them open. Fixated on him. Something briefly flashes in his eyes as he gets up from his chair, and walks over to me. And he hugs me, just suddenly, with nearly no warning whatsoever. I cling to him. His arms are strong, confining, comforting, warm. We've captured the attention of the other few agents, who look confused, and perhaps stunned. A girl like me, recovered junkie-punk with a nose ring, being hugged by someone I can't even remember the name of.
He releases me and takes me to an empty conference room, shutting the door.
He sits, as do I, but we say nothing.
I cry quietly.
"What...happened?" He asks me quietly, as if not to disturb me in my morning.
"He....Sark...He OD-ed." I whisper, my eyes darting around in their sockets, seeing him on the couch all over again.
"I'm sorry....Are you sure?" He asks faintly.
I nod. "The heroin. It killed Emily. It killed him. It killed everyone." I whisper, not knowing if he can hear or not.
He bows his head.
"It didn't kill you." He says after a mute minute.
I eye him carefully. "Not yet. I'm strong."
"It's stronger. It's stronger than everyone." He whispers harshly.
I stare at him, confused. I cock my head.
"My sister said that. The week before she died." He pauses. "She always told me she could beat it. She could quit anytime she wanted. She lied." He is almost in tears, it's plain to the eye. He has gone through just what I have. But he saved himself.
I reach across the table, taking his hand that sits so still in my own.
Our eyes meet.
We understand.
For once, we really understand.
We need each other. We need each other to beat it. And keep it away. Forever.
Forever.