Brad: He's gonna kill us all!
Jill: Don't worry - Barry will save us at the last minute, just like that time he saved me from the roof squashing me to paste.
Jill stands around acting like nothing is happening as The Nemesis walks forward. The Nemesis proceeds to grab Brad and suck his brains out.
Jill: Er... well I'm sure Barry will arrive in time to save the rest of us.
3000 miles away on a beach somewhere...
Boy: What is it daddy?
Father: It's a beached whale son. A beached whale with a beard, and bloodshot eyes, and he's just been very, very sick all over the sand.
Boy: what's that in his hand daddy?
Father: It's a whiskey bottle son.
Boy: I didn't know whales drank whiskey. Or had hands. Or beards.
Father: Common misconception son.
Barry Burton: What is this?
In a dark room containing lots of apparently random statues and items...
Brad: Am I dead?
Homunculus: That depends on how you define death.
Brad: As not being alive?
Homunculus: Well how do you define being alive?
Brad: As not being dead?
Homunculus: Regardless, I can give you a second chance at life.
Brad: But am I dead?
Homunculus: For the purpose of this exercise, let's say yes. But I can offer you a chance to regain your life.
Brad: wait a minute - you're the big 'S' - Santa!
Homunculus: Please be quiet. Yes, you were killed. But I can send you back in time to before you were killed, and from there if you can remove the root of your death, you won't die.
Brad: Oh, thank God. I want to live, I so want to live!
Homunculus hands Brad the digipad ( a time-travelling device since if you haven't played Shadow of Destiny you won't have a clue what's going on) and sends him back in time.
He arrives at the Bar Stard just before Nemesis arrives.
Brad: Okay, Jill, listen carefully. In about five seconds the Nemesis is going to...
Jill: The what?
Brad: Don't interrupt, there's no ti-
Jill: The Nemesis? Hmmm... let me just look that up in my 'Big Girls Bumper Book of Big Undead Killing Things'. Let's see... Zombie, Licker, Hunter, Barry Burton's cologne, where is it...
Nemesis: CLIT! STARS!
The Nemesis ran into the Bar, reared it's head back and let out an angry scream. Jill finds the Nemesis in the book and looks at the picture.
Jill: It has a much cuter smile in the photo
Jay: Holy shit - what the fuck is that thing?
Nemesis: STARS!
The Nemesis closed in.
Brad: He's gonna kill us all! Jill DON'T rely on Barry to save us!
Jill: Oh but you can always rely on Barry...
3000 miles away on a beach somewhere...
Girl: A big fat piece of shit just washed up on the shore.
Barry: Help me someone.
Back in the bar...
Brad: No! He's... shaving! Yes, too busy shaving to save us.
Jill: Hmmm... In that case the most logical course of action is to wait for Chris to come and save us.
Brad: Oh shit.
Jill stands around acting like nothing is happening as The Nemesis walks forward. The Nemesis proceeds to grab Brad and suck his brains out.
In a dark room containing lots of apparently random statues and items...
Brad: Am I dead?
Homunculus: It is difficult isn't it, to change one's very destiny.
Brad: But am I dead?
Homunculus: Not to worry. You can try over and over until you get it right.
Brad: Oh thank you so much. I don't want to die, I soooo want to live, I-
Homunculus: Wait a minute - you're not Eike! Give me my digipad back NOW!
Back in the bar again...
Jill: Well I'm sure Chris will show up in time to save the rest of us.
Jay: Let's kick this guys ass Silent Bob. He can't fucking scare us with his big fucking brain sucking powers and shit.
The Nemesis moves in on Jay and Silent Bob, but Silent Bob grabs Jill's magnum which she just happens to have left lying around (kids, never follow Auntie Jill's example and leave your magnum's lying carelessly around) and lets loose with some shots to the Nemesis' head. After a few shots it goes down, the entire bulk of it landing on Jay's toe.
Jay: SHIIIIIIIT MY FUCKING TOE!
Jill: Oh Chris, you saved us.
Jill begins kissing Silent Bob.
Jill: Chris? Why have you grown a beard like Barry's?
Jill comes back to reality and sees Silent Bob. She begins spitting over the bar.
Jay: GET OFFA MY TOE!
Silent Bob helps Jay free.
Jill looks down at the Nemesis.
Jill: Well, that's the last we'll be seeing of The Nemesis. Yup, no more Mr Nemesis. Bye bye big guy. Adios. Ciao. See you later alligator.
Nemesis: See you later Jill.
To be continued in Chapter 4 - The Amazing Dancing Chicken Nuggets of Racoon City
Jill: Don't worry - Barry will save us at the last minute, just like that time he saved me from the roof squashing me to paste.
Jill stands around acting like nothing is happening as The Nemesis walks forward. The Nemesis proceeds to grab Brad and suck his brains out.
Jill: Er... well I'm sure Barry will arrive in time to save the rest of us.
3000 miles away on a beach somewhere...
Boy: What is it daddy?
Father: It's a beached whale son. A beached whale with a beard, and bloodshot eyes, and he's just been very, very sick all over the sand.
Boy: what's that in his hand daddy?
Father: It's a whiskey bottle son.
Boy: I didn't know whales drank whiskey. Or had hands. Or beards.
Father: Common misconception son.
Barry Burton: What is this?
In a dark room containing lots of apparently random statues and items...
Brad: Am I dead?
Homunculus: That depends on how you define death.
Brad: As not being alive?
Homunculus: Well how do you define being alive?
Brad: As not being dead?
Homunculus: Regardless, I can give you a second chance at life.
Brad: But am I dead?
Homunculus: For the purpose of this exercise, let's say yes. But I can offer you a chance to regain your life.
Brad: wait a minute - you're the big 'S' - Santa!
Homunculus: Please be quiet. Yes, you were killed. But I can send you back in time to before you were killed, and from there if you can remove the root of your death, you won't die.
Brad: Oh, thank God. I want to live, I so want to live!
Homunculus hands Brad the digipad ( a time-travelling device since if you haven't played Shadow of Destiny you won't have a clue what's going on) and sends him back in time.
He arrives at the Bar Stard just before Nemesis arrives.
Brad: Okay, Jill, listen carefully. In about five seconds the Nemesis is going to...
Jill: The what?
Brad: Don't interrupt, there's no ti-
Jill: The Nemesis? Hmmm... let me just look that up in my 'Big Girls Bumper Book of Big Undead Killing Things'. Let's see... Zombie, Licker, Hunter, Barry Burton's cologne, where is it...
Nemesis: CLIT! STARS!
The Nemesis ran into the Bar, reared it's head back and let out an angry scream. Jill finds the Nemesis in the book and looks at the picture.
Jill: It has a much cuter smile in the photo
Jay: Holy shit - what the fuck is that thing?
Nemesis: STARS!
The Nemesis closed in.
Brad: He's gonna kill us all! Jill DON'T rely on Barry to save us!
Jill: Oh but you can always rely on Barry...
3000 miles away on a beach somewhere...
Girl: A big fat piece of shit just washed up on the shore.
Barry: Help me someone.
Back in the bar...
Brad: No! He's... shaving! Yes, too busy shaving to save us.
Jill: Hmmm... In that case the most logical course of action is to wait for Chris to come and save us.
Brad: Oh shit.
Jill stands around acting like nothing is happening as The Nemesis walks forward. The Nemesis proceeds to grab Brad and suck his brains out.
In a dark room containing lots of apparently random statues and items...
Brad: Am I dead?
Homunculus: It is difficult isn't it, to change one's very destiny.
Brad: But am I dead?
Homunculus: Not to worry. You can try over and over until you get it right.
Brad: Oh thank you so much. I don't want to die, I soooo want to live, I-
Homunculus: Wait a minute - you're not Eike! Give me my digipad back NOW!
Back in the bar again...
Jill: Well I'm sure Chris will show up in time to save the rest of us.
Jay: Let's kick this guys ass Silent Bob. He can't fucking scare us with his big fucking brain sucking powers and shit.
The Nemesis moves in on Jay and Silent Bob, but Silent Bob grabs Jill's magnum which she just happens to have left lying around (kids, never follow Auntie Jill's example and leave your magnum's lying carelessly around) and lets loose with some shots to the Nemesis' head. After a few shots it goes down, the entire bulk of it landing on Jay's toe.
Jay: SHIIIIIIIT MY FUCKING TOE!
Jill: Oh Chris, you saved us.
Jill begins kissing Silent Bob.
Jill: Chris? Why have you grown a beard like Barry's?
Jill comes back to reality and sees Silent Bob. She begins spitting over the bar.
Jay: GET OFFA MY TOE!
Silent Bob helps Jay free.
Jill looks down at the Nemesis.
Jill: Well, that's the last we'll be seeing of The Nemesis. Yup, no more Mr Nemesis. Bye bye big guy. Adios. Ciao. See you later alligator.
Nemesis: See you later Jill.
To be continued in Chapter 4 - The Amazing Dancing Chicken Nuggets of Racoon City