Chapter Six

A/N: Sorry so late. Got a mild case of writer's block.

They say nobody panic

Help is on its way

We're already on it

You've got to be brave

If you can fix it now

Then don't make us wait

Man there ain't nobody coming

Back away from the gates

~ "Everybody Out of the Water" by The Wallflowers

There was a rush of silence that followed Lydia's words. Buffy looked at Spike. He was strangely quiet. Calm. Collected. Everything he shouldn't be at the moment.

Lydia watched as everyone assimilated the information. "In case you're wondering, we are looking for any loopholes. The Council is well aware of the vampire's contributions to the fight. We understand very well that he is important and his death is out of the question."

"No...no, this is perfect," Spike said, surprising everyone.

"What?!" Buffy asked, looking at him.

"This...it's all perfect," he repeated.

She stood quickly, looking down at Spike's calm and collected face, "What the hell are you saying?"

He stood as well and the two of them forgot the rest were in the room as they continued to argue. "You know exactly what I'm sayin', Slayer."

She took a step back as if she had been slapped. Vehemently, she shook her head, "No. I won't do it."

"You have to. It's your job."

"No. You heard what Lydia said. There has to be another way."

"Maybe there is, but while they're hunted that down, that thing will be going through the entire population. You know as well as I do that we cannot let that happen."

"I can't do it. Don't make me."

"Come on, Slayer. You know this is what you've wanted to do for years. Now's your chance. No pesky rules about harming helpless creatures to get in your way."

She shook her head again.

"Damnit, Buffy, what won't you do it?"

"Because I love!" she exclaimed. She gasped, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. She was surprised she said it. And so was everyone else. Giles and Willow recovered first and escorted everyone out of the room, knowing that the two blonds needed to be alone.

"What?" Spike whispered.

"I...love you," she repeated quietly.

Suddenly, he was in front of her. He took hold of her arms, forcing her to look at him, "Why?"

Why did he sound so heartbroken? When she didn't respond, he asked, "How? How can you love me?"

"I...I-"

"Tell me, Buffy, please. How can you love me?"

Unexpectedly, she grew angry. She yanked her arms form his grip and looked at him. "I don't know, alright? And I hate it. And I hate you for getting your soul and making it so easy for me to love you. Is that what you want to hear?" she asked, tears now rolling down her cheeks.

He moved towards her again, tears threatening to fall from him, as well. Spike leaned in and kissed her forehead. She collapsed against him, emotionally worn out. Not expecting it, Spike stumbled and both ended up on the ground, with Buffy wrapped in Spike's arms. Finally, Buffy let the waterworks go and cried against his chest. She cried for Annabelle. She cried for the Scoobies and Potentials. She cried for Spike. She cried for herself. And she cried for both of them and their seemingly lethal love for each other. He tried to comfort her as best he could, whispering sweet nothing's in her ear and kissing away her tears.

Slowly, she pulled away slightly. Wet eyes met each other. Buffy leaned up and kissed him. To say he was surprised would not even begin to describe it. He remained immobile as she brought a hand up to cradle his face and wrapped the other around his neck. It wasn't until she whispered those three precious against his lips that he began to respond. He cupped her face with his hands. "I love you," he whispered.

She felt new tears burn her eyes as she remembered the circumstances that brought them to this situation. She broke the kiss, resting her forehead against his. "Don't make me do this, please," she cried.

He looked at her with equally wet eyes, "I'm so sorry, luv."

"There has to be another way. Please, let them find another way...I can't lose you. Not now."

He brushed his lips against hers. "Buffy, I need you to understand. I have to do this. I need to. If I'm ever gonna be able to live with myself; if I'm ever gonna be able to face my sins head on...to forgive myself for the countless killing, for what I did to you...let me do this."

She felt anger well up inside her again. She pulled away from him abruptly. "You bastard."

He looked at her with a mixture of surprise and hurt.

"You can be so damn stupid. You don't need to do this. This wasn't your fault. And you say you need to face your sins head on, but you're running from them. You're willing to let yourself die instead. You're showing to the world that you're too much of a coward to do anything but run."

"Buffy-"

"If you were strong, you'd find another way. You'd fight to live. You wouldn't throw away your chance to prove to everyone how good a man you can be."

He looked away, unsure of what to say. She was right. He didn't really want to throw away his life. He wasn't ready to die yet. Finally, he made up his mind, "Fine. We'll do it your way. But...if they can't find another way..." He looked at her, "I want you to be the one to do it. And only you."

She swallowed and nodded. He lifted her chin up and kissed her softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

He smiled slightly. Both looked in the direction of the kitchen, knowing everyone was in there. He took her hand in his and led her that way.

Everyone shushed immediately when they saw the blond couple enter. Spike spoke first. "Umm, we'd like you to keep searching," he told the Watchers.

"Very well, Mister...Spike. We shall get back to you if we find anything," Travers said.

"Thank you."

Travers and Lydia excused themselves and were on their way back to the hotel. Quietly, everyone regarded each other, not sure what to day. Buffy knew that everyone now knew. And everyone else knew that she knew. Kennedy, uncomfortable with the silence, picked up a plate, "So, cookies, anyone?"

Buffy tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep. Her mind was going about ninety miles per hour, trying to process the day's events. She was scared to death that the Council would be unable to locate another way to get rid of the Turok-Han aside from Spike's death. As far as she was concerned, that was totally and absolutely out of the question. Turning on her backside, she stared up at the ceiling, willing herself to go to sleep. She regretted sending Spike to the basement, telling him it was too soon. He had nodded and went downstairs without argument.

But she needed him. Especially now. Deciding to hell with it, she got out of bed and quietly made her way down to the basement.

"Spike?" she whispered from the top of the stairs, afraid to wake him. She made a silent promise to herself that if he was indeed asleep, she would go back upstairs and leave him alone.

"I'm awake, luv," he said from the cot. She finished making her way down the steps and to him. "Did I wake you?" she asked.

"No, couldn't sleep," he said sitting up to give her room to sit down. She nodded silently. He studied her. "What's wrong, pet?"

"Huh?" she asked, looking at him, trying to force the tears that were once again threatening to fall as she replayed certain events from today in her head.

"What's bothering you?" he repeated, reaching a hand out to brush aside a blonde lock of hair from her eyes. She leaned into his touch, quietly thinking of how this could be the last time.

"I love you," she said. He repeated her words of affection, watching her carefully. He knew something was on her mind and he needed to get her to let it out.

"Buffy?" he asked quietly as she crawled into his lap, straddling him. Cautiously, he placed his arms around her waist, holding her.

She ran a hand over his face, over his brow, down his cheeks, across his lips. Everywhere. Her movements were gentle and tender, almost like a butterfly fluttering its wings against him. It was like she was trying to burn his features into her mind. Like she was afraid he would be gone tomorrow.

She leaned in and brushed her lips against his. He moaned quietly, moving his hands up to cradle her face. She brushed her tongue against his lips, begging entrance, which he granted. They moaned as the kiss went from sweet and comforting to passionate. Spike's hands left her face to run down the expanse of her back. She shuddered as his cool hands slipped underneath her pajama top to splay across her hot flesh.

Her hands moved to the hem of his t-shirt. She broke the kiss momentarily to pull the shirt off. Returning her lips to his, she allowed her hands to explore his chest. God, she never realized how much she truly missed this.

Spike broke the searing kiss. She whimpered, disappointed with the loss. It quickly turned into a moan when she felt his lips graze across her jaw and down her neck. He nipped at the place where her neck met her shoulder, sending a shock of pleasure through her. He groaned as he felt her whisper his name against his neck.

Almost involuntarily, his hands moved up to the buttons of her shirt as his lips returned to hers. Slowly, one by one, he unbuttoned each of the little buttons until they were all undone. Then he slipped the material off her shoulders. She gasped as he broke the kiss again to pay attention to her newly exposed flesh. Her nimble fingers moved their way down his chest and down his well-defined abdomen to the belt of his jeans that he still wore. Swiftly, she undid the buckle. When she unzipped them, she was surprised to find his hands upon hers, stopping her.

"Buffy?" he whispered questioningly.

She looked at him. "Make love to me, Spike," she whispered, before returning her lips to his.

And he did.

End Chapter Six

A/N: That's probably as close to a sex scene as you'll ever get out of me...