A/N: Sorry sorry sorry… Gomen nasai, loyal readers! I did not post this past weekend and I'd tell you why, but I think you'd much rather just read the story ^_^ I've debated whether or not to comment on the query of my nationality… Am I British? Live on the England island? Do I rub noses with the U.Ker's? Heh… the answer is no. I'm as American as the cheese (even though that cheese is gross- I prefer provolone ^_^). I can fake it pretty well, huh? Hee hee… I do my homework.
ON WITH IT…
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Part Three: Inter-author Crossover
(is this even possible??)
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(Enter Chorus)
CHORUS: From the tall and proud cornbread stalks
Came forth a creature of unsurpassable curiosity.
Its height was puny, though not miniscule;
Its hair was red as the morrow eve's sun, covering all its form.
A fox! on two feet;
It stood on hind legs, as if t'were human.
And so the beast approached our young hero,
Bearing ivory teeth and sapphire eyes.
FOX: By the moon, I swear:
Is that you, Trunks?
TRUNKS: My name is PRINCESS Trunks.
Do I know you?
FOX: O cruel prose!
Why dost thou speak such treachery against me?
You injure my heart by denying our acquaintance;
Its blood stains your hands;
Its ache fills my breast.
TRUNKS: Heh heh, you said 'breast.'
FOX: Trunks, my heavenly love,
Tis I, heir to fauna and flora,
Your lovely Aurora!
TRUNKS: Whoa whoa whoa.
Okay, first of all:
What the hell is the deal with this fucked up story structure?
Why are my sentences all cut up
Into different lines?
And why are you rhyming?!
(The Narrator hangs head in shame. "Sorry, I'll fix it.")
"Okay, that's better," said Princess Trunks, who is arguably in the runnings for being 'Trunks, QUEEN of…'
(Trunks smashes through the Fourth Wall and punches the Narrator in the face. "Stop ad-libbing! Now, lets continue." Trunks resumes his place behind the Fourth Wall.)
"Now as I was saying… Secondly…" Trunks paused. He mindlessly counted his fingers and muttered to himself. Coming upon an epiphany he FINALLY continued, "Oh right! Secondly, your name is Aurora? Aren't you…?"
She waved a hand wildly through the air, "Yes yes, a shameless plug for an unpublished DBZ story by The Author. But I'm not in that story now. I am acting. So just go along with the script you idiot!"
"Okay. So why were you speaking all Shakespeare-like, foxy girl?… I mean! Fox-Girl… er no, girlie fox… Uh, what's my line?"
The animal-creature whispered to him, "You're supposed to ask me what I am doing in this field of cornbread stalks."
"But I don't care."
"Ugh!" she screamed. "You are such an imbecile!! Why am I surrounded by incompetents?!"
"Incompetent? Incompetent?! If I were whatever that word means, would I have snagged this nifty keen basket from Piccoloser?" Trunks held up the pretty pink basket for all to see.
"SNAGGED?! Are you serious? Piccolo made you take it. There was no snagging involved! Are you even aware of what is going on? I'll bet you aren't. I'll bet you prance around all day and night in a dream world where pre-adolescent boys can wear purple dresses and ride unicorns."
Trunks' eyes filled with magical wonderment. "Unicorns are pretty."
"Shut up." Aurora-fox 'snagged' the basket from Trunks. He protested, but she stuck her furry foot in his mouth to silence him. "Let's see what you've got in here." She rifled through the basket. "Very interesting… Did you know you were carrying 57 condoms, Vaseline, and incense in here?"
"Oooooooo… I like incense." Trunks reached out longingly for the basket of... stuff. Aurora-fox threw it at his feet, spilling its contents onto the dirt. Trunks dropped to his knees, screaming bloody murder.
"Ergh! I can't take this anymore," grumbled the fox-girl. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my trailer." And she walked away, through the 15 feet of stalks, and into her trailer.
Once Trunks had replaced all the items into the basket, he trotted off after Aurora-fox. He didn't go far before he ran into her trailer. Literally. He might have broken his nose or something. We're not sure. But we'll go on as if it didn't even happen. Got it?
The (stupid) demi-Saiyan barged into the trailer, without even knocking. He was greeted by an assault of hair care products, pots, pans, chairs, a toaster, Chiaotzu, and yes… even a kitchen sink.
Trunks just let them hit him… in the head. (Which mostly explains his stupidness.) "Ow! Ow! Cut it out already!"
"How dare you come in here unannounced! I'm NAKED!" Aurora-fox screamed. She continued throwing objects at him. A pillow, a mirror, harpoon, vibrator, pair of glasses, Mr. Potatohead…
Trunks' frustration got the better of him. He powered up and became a supersaiyan. Aurora-fox stared at him in mid-throw of a grenade. The pin was in the other hand. In shock of his transformation, she let the grenade fall from her hand. (Baka woman)
Trunks went to action… He ate the grenade. And then he blew up.
THE END
(Oops, that's not right. I promised you guys a lot more chapters. I can't do that if the moron blows himself up. Let us try that again…)
Trunks went to action… He grabbed the fox-girl and his basket and flew them the hell outta there. The trailer exploded in the distance and everyone was safe… except for Chiaotzu, who "unfortunately" was not able to make it to safety before the explosion.
(Ah, that's better.)
He placed Aurora-fox on the ground and she promptly smacked him across the face. "You idiot! I'm still naked! Now where will I get clothes?!"
"Uhh… you've never worn clothes before. You're a fox. They don't wear clothes."
"Oh yes. Silly me. Well then, thank you. You look good as a blonde. Hey, I'm heading to a club in South City. Wanna come?"
"I dunno," he looked at her warily. "My Daddy-kins told me never to go to clubs. They are dangerous cesspools of raging hormones. Whatever that means."
"Oh c'mon. Do you always do what your father tells you?" she whispered into the TWELEVE year-old's ear.
But his Daddy-kin's voice echoed in his head, One duck plus two ducks equals three ducks. And if you add a goat, the four of them are still smarter than Kakarott!! Hahahahaha!
And on a more related note, Trunks followed Aurora-fox to the club in South City.
("Wait a minute! What happened to his mission to cure Bulma's blindness? Stupid men. So easily distracted. Even the implication of a woman's presence turns them into blathering fools. Poor Bulma. She is doomed to be forever blind, because her mentally challenged son is tooOOOOO… AHHHHHHHH!!"
Trunks pummels the Narrator into a bloody mess. He kicks The Narrator once in the ribs and yells vehemently, "That'll teach you to insert your own opinions into this story! I'll cure my Mummy-dearest's blindness. Eventually. AFTER the club. AFTER women that are twice my age hit on me! THEN I'll go to Dende. So there!" Trunks flies off, leaving The Narrator groaning on the floor.)
So tune in… next week… Or whenever The Narrator heals. Clubbing excitement and eventually curing Bulma's blindness. ("Pardon my crassness earlier. MY mistake." **grumble grumble**)
Groooaaannnnn…
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Ok, that's it from me. Not exactly my INSANE humor, but I found it amusing all the same. And that's the real reason I write these things. To amuse myself. AND to save me from the horrors of real-life college stress. Amusing the rest of you is just a pleasant aside. Anywho, thanks for reading!! (And reviewing!)