(a.k.a. Little Purple Riding Trunks)
A/N: Some business to take care of… Please, bear with me (or skip to the story if you don't care – but some of this prattle might pertain to you!).
First: I have no idea what the reviewer "person" is talking about. Give me a pen name or something so I can at least understand what this barking frog thing is.
Second: The Red Dwarf (formerly known as "the nameless one" ^_^) needs to clarify the statement "I shall be the one torturing Veggie" in his review. I'm not exactly sure what you're getting at.
And the rest: I am hesitant to make Mirai Trunks a 53X
514\/5 only b/c I have done it ALREADY! Indeed I have. Read
"Trunks Gets a New Job." DO IT. DO IT NOW ^_^ As a
side note, I think I'll be adding more chapters to it soon, even though it's
"done."
HOWEVER,
I promised to include ALL plot ideas... so I will. Eventually. For now, I'm
simply going to throw MT into the chaos. And trust me, this will hurt you
more than it does me ^_^
I like the Goku/Guard idea. Tre funny! Hee hee hee. As of now, it conflicts with my ideas (yes, I still have some ^_^). But no worries, I'll get to it. You'll have to wait and see…
BLEH! That was painful… ON WITH IT!!!!
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Part Seven: The Author is a Coffee Addict
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Oodles of smoke surrounded Vegeta. And other scary, intimidating stuff. Like, dramatic music! And- And- bolts of lightning! And a cute widdle bunny-wabbit.
(In an attempt to keep the "scary" theme going, The Narrator shouts, "Let it be known that The Author shall have revenge against those who spew hateful mockery.")
\\Wooooo! Yes! Revenge! Bwahahahahaha!! Let's see how the Prince likes his new look. Bwahahah-Oooooo, a cute widdle bunny-wabbit!!//
("Uhhh… The Author has been momentarily distracted, i.e., chasing the bunny-wab, er bunny-rabbit. Let's continue.")
Vegeta watched as the smoke dissolved away. He hastily surveyed his body, looking for any changes. Ten fingers, two feet, his hair was still defying the laws of gravity. Everything appeared normal.
He laughed, "So these are the powers of the mighty Author? Stupid parlor tricks? I'm shaking in my fucking boots. Don't try anything like that again, or I will destroy this planet and then your pathetic story will be over!"
\\Tee hee hee. grin Whatever you say, Veggie.//
"Augh! Don't call me that!" He shuddered, and thought, I hope The Author hasn't been reading those so-called 'Veggie torturing' stories. Those people frighten me.
Of course, The Narrator and The Author can hear everything that anyone is thinking in the story. Their grins widened GRIN See? Wider grins.
Vegeta looked at them suspiciously, but chalked the insane smiles up to, well… their insanity. He had more important things to take care of anyway. Mistress Chi-Chi was one of them and she was currently attempting to sneak away from the poppy field. On her tip toes. But then, the stiletto heels on her boots made that virtually impossible.
"Where do you think you're going, devil woman?" On his way to pummel Chi-Chi, he kicked the cute widdle bunny-wabbit. Because he has a dark heart and whatnot. And how about no soul, while we're at it? The Author was not too thrilled about the unwarranted violence, but said nothing because the addition to Vegeta's persona was enough revenge for everything!!
Dun dun dun!!!
(And the bunny-wabbit was okay despite the brutal kicking. No animals are harmed in the telling of this story. The only things wounded are the reader's intellects, i.e., you are all probably dumber after reading this. Ohhhh just wait...)
By the time Vegeta was within arms reach of Chi-Chi, she was staring wildly at him. Of course, the moron inaccurately assumed it was because she was scared stiff. The trademark malevolent smirk appeared.
Princess Trunks ran up to his father and tugged on his sleeve (which was difficult, because it's a spandex sleeve). The boy was trying to tell him something through gestures (not words, that'd be too easy). Vegeta ignored his son and continued staring at the "terrified" Chi-Chi.
The 12-year old boy in the catsuit gave up and began eating poppies instead. Poppies. Poppies are the source of (the illegal drug) opium. Wheeeeeee!
(Yes, there was a reason The Author put the characters in a poppy field. But, for the record, it's not a very good reason.)
Vegeta reached a hand toward Chi-Chi's neck. He was going to teach that loud-mouthed bitch a thing or two about threatening his son.
"Vegeta! Don't you dare lay a hand on her!"
"Kakarott?!" The Prince spun around.
But… there was no one behind him. Vegeta spun in circles, looking for the third-class warrior. He eventually got dizzy and fell over.
His head was still swimming when he heard the goofy Saiyan's voice again. "Wow! That was fun! Can we do it again??"
Vegeta was utterly confused. Where was the voice coming from? Was he going insane?
He sat up and saw his 12-year old son dancing and twirling in the flowers. The boy was talking to himself. This isn't much different than any other day, except today the pretty Princess boy was hallucinating. You know… seeing sounds, and hearing colors. The whole nervous system derailed. Not a pretty sight.
And if that weren't bad enough, Mistress Chi-Chi suddenly wrapped her arms around Vegeta and hugged him tightly.
And if THAT weren't bad enough, some sort of fox creature had wandered in from the forest (yes, that's Aurora-fox) and was dancing around with the hallucinating Fairy Princess.
AND Piccolo had showed up wearing a pinafore apron. (Think of a frilly bib apron with shoulder straps that cross in the back and tie with a ribbon. I dunno… It's a British thing) Anyway, he started yelling at Princess Trunks about a basket the boy seemingly lost.
And for something completely different… Bravely walking into the CHAOTIC MESS was Mirai Trunks!! He strode past the dancing, prancing couple. He strode past the oddly dressed Piccolo. He approached Vegeta, who still had Chi-Chi hanging around his chest. Oh let's see, just for fun… Mirai Trunks was dressed casually. And to be gratuitous, this meant faded jeans, a clean white t-shirt, and… a black leather jacket.
(**Even The Androgynous Narrator drooled at the sight.**)
But no sword. (Everyone behind the Fourth Wall frowns in disappointment.) But see, the sword simply wouldn't complement the ensemble. Deal with it.
("Sheesh. The Author is making me be verbose today.")
So Mirai Trunks walked over to Vegeta and started talking… or something. I don't care. Sure, talking… why not? He said something like this: "H3y V5g574, Wh47 7h3 |-|3ll 17 g01ng 0n?"
Vegeta hissed through clenched teeth, "Trunks, I swear on the love I secretly have for bonsai trees… I've put up with enough madness for one day. I will destroy you if you don't speak normally."
"13375p54k 15 n0rm41. G57 \/\/17|-| 7h3 71m35, 01d /\/\4n."
"All right, I'm going to kill you now." Vegeta tried to stand, but Chi-Chi was holding him down. "Let go of me, wench!"
It was riiiiiiight about this time that Vegeta realized one of his arms was embracing Chi-Chi.
It was also right about this time that Chi-Chi conveniently said, "Oh Goku, tell Vegeta to be nice to me."
(It's also right about this time that The Narrator got sick of skirting around "Vegeta's change.")
Vegeta slowly, and dramatically, turned his head. He found himself staring into Goku's face. They were nose-to-nose. The Prince tried to jump away from the simpleton, but alas, could not. BECAUSE… if you haven't guessed it by now…
("What did I tell you about getting dumber by reading this?")
… Goku's head had been attached to Vegeta's body!!
Dun dun dun!!
And Vegeta responded by screaming like a girl and punching Goku in the face repeatedly. Which looked kinda silly, to be frank.
\\I could make a joke about your name being Frank now.//
("Please don't.")
\\Okay… Toodle doodle dee...//
("Great. The Author is making another pot of coffee. That's exactly what we need.")
Mirai Trunks sat down to observe everything, because he really doesn't talk much anyway.
Well, Vegeta finally stopped beating on poor Goku's head. As if Goku needed the extra brain damage to begin with. Hoo boy. Plus, Vegeta realized that punching Goku's head caused him pain too. They're connected to the same body. DUH.
So the Vegeta-Goku hybrid-thing sat down and Goku rubbed his head where Vegeta had wailed on it. "That hurt. What'd you do that for, Vegeta?"
"I did it because I HATE YOU!"
"Why?" Goku asked innocently.
"Because you're an idiot." And Vegeta punched Goku in the face again, despite the pain it caused him.
"Owwwwww. Stop that," Goku whined.
Mirai Trunks spoke up, "7|-|47'5 n07 \/\/hy j00 |-|473 |-|1m, V3g374. 17 13 b'c0z |-|3'5 57r0ng5r 7|-|4n j00."
"Whatever the hell you said, boy, I'm sure it was completely untrue. Don't make me summon the powers of the bonsai."
Mirai Trunks shrugged.
Vegeta pointed at Mirai Trunks and laughed, "That's right! You will FEAR the superiority of the bonsai!"
Suddenly, Goku snapped the fingers he had control over and blurted, "I have an idea!"
"That must hurt," scoffed Vegeta.
"What?"
"Nevermind."
Goku was oblivious to the insult. He continued, "Since we've combined into one body, we need a name!"
"No. We. Don't."
"I know what it should be."
"Shut up. Just shut up now." Vegeta anticipated the horrors to come. This was more terrifying than the sight of Piccolo slow dancing with his 12-year old son.
"Gok-eta! That should be our new name!"
Mirai Trunks doubled over laughing. "7|-|47 50und5 L1|3 7h3 n4/\/\3 0f 4 b4n4n4!!"
Goku was hurt by those words. "It does not sound like the name of a banana!"
Vegeta was shocked! "You can understand that gibberish?!"
"Of course! Anyone who's ANYONE can understand 13375p54k! C4n'7 j00?"
"Do that again, and I'll rip your brainless head off my shoulders."
(At this time, The Author is completely hopped up on caffeine. The only legal, addictive, stimulant for poor college students.)
\\Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee//
In the not-so-distant distance, Princess Trunks screamed! The Fairy Princess ran over to Goketa, pointing and hopping on alternate feet. "AHHHHHHHHH! The two-headed creature I was warned about in Chapter Two that most readers have probably forgotten about!!!! AHHHHHHHH!"
("Yes, it's alllll the way back there in Ch2.")
Princess Trunks hid behind British Piccolo. "Don't worry, nancy boy. The creature I told you about is pure evil and also very smart. Goketa is neither."
Both Goku and Vegeta started to disagree, but c'mon… who can argue with someone with a British accent? … Well, the Germans, but that's something entirely different.
"Besides," British Piccolo continued, "I was lying about that anyway. There's no two-headed, evil creature in the forest."
"Ohhhh. Just like you were lying about the crazy fox that runs around eating purple-haired little boys?"
"No. I lied about lying about that. There really IS a crazy fox doing that."
And so… Aurora-fox ran up behind Princess Trunks and ate him! I am not even kidding. There were way too many characters. Princess Trunks? Yeah, he's gone now.
And no one cared.
Especially not Goku. He was having a rather enlightening conversation with The Author. It went like this…
\\I'm eating a carrot.//
"MMmmm. Food."
\\Carrot is like your name, Kakarott. **Munch munch** Mmmm. Food.//
"I can smell trees."
\\My blood is pure coffee.//
"Can I have some?"
\\Blood or coffee?//
"Neither. I want trees."
\\Do you mean…… rice?//
"Oh! Yeah. Silly me."
\\You're in luck! I just happen to have some coffee-flavored rice!//
"Yay!" And Goku ate the coffee-flavored rice.
And everyone else stared at them with wide eyes and gaping jaws. Not even Vegeta could find the words to ridicule them.
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A/N: AUGH! DONE.
Sorry if anyone doesn't do the "leetspeak," thing but (1) it's really not important for the story, (2) you can go to the link in the reviews and "learn" it, and (3) I don't remember what I was going to say next. It's almost five o'clock in the morning and I have to be up in 2 hours. Schloop.
And blah blah blah… REVIEW NOW. ^_____^