The Plunderful Lizard of Oz
(a.k.a. Little Purple Flying Trunks)
(a.k.a. Little Purple Riding Trunks)
A/N: Sorry that I haven't posted in awhile (about a month). I should be beaten with a wet noodle. Or a wet poodle. Because it rhymes. This chapter isn't as long as the others, but maybe I'll post again very soon. Hmmmm.
ON WITH IT!!
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Part Eight: Nothing of Consequence
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"BY THE POWER OF THE BONSAI, I COMMAND YOU TO LEAVE!!"
The head of Goku was eating the coffee-flavored rice that The Author gave him in the last chapter. **Munch munch** He spoke with his mouth full, of course. "Nope, sorry Vegeta, that's not going to work either."
"DAMN YOU!" Vegeta was seething. He had tried everything, and he still could not get Goku's head off his shoulders. In frustration, he began beating Goku in the face.
In retaliation, Goku dumped the bowl of rice on Vegeta's head.
"You moron! I'll be picking rice out of my hair for months!"
Goku pointed and laughed.
"Shut up!" And Vegeta head-butted him.
Goku cried.
Well, Mirai Trunks had watched the entire thing and couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably and roll around in the poppies. Eventually, he regained control of himself and offered Vegeta some advice. "U 5|-|0u1d 4p010g1z3 2 7h3 4u7|-|0r. M4yb3 7|-|3n, U'11 B phr33 0f G0|u'3 h34d."
"I hate you," Vegeta replied simply.
"No, Trunks is right," said Mr. British Piccolo. "That may be the only way to get your old body back."
"Don't tell me you can understand that gibberish, too!!"
"Of course," then Piccolo adjusted his pinafore for no reason whatsoever. "And I do believe that Trunks has himself a bloody brilliant idea."
"Which is…" he sneered.
"Very well then," sighed Piccolo from the U.K. "What the dear lad was trying to tell you is that perhaps the head of Goku will be removed from your shoulders if you apologize to The Author."
"NEVER!! Not in a million billion years."
British Piccolo shrugged.
Vegeta continued, "And you tell that speech impaired bakayaro over there that if he utters another syllable of that incomprehensible garbage, he'll be pulling poppies out of his nose!"
The green lizard man turned to Mirai Trunks to relay the message. "|-|3y 7run|5! \/3g374 541d 7|-|47 h3 w4n7s 70 p1c| 4 b0uQu37 0f p0pp135 4 U, Bu7 |-|3'5 2 5|-|y." Well, he kinda relayed it.
Mirai Trunks laughed. He strode over to "Goketa," picked a poppy from the field, and stuck it behind Vegeta's ear. Then he walked over to Chi-Chi and struck up a conversation… in 13375p34k, of course.
Vegeta grabbed the flower and squashed it in his fist… and punched Goku in the face. For fun.
British Piccolo winced at the gratuitous violence. Then he addressed everyone, "Well, this has been a smashing good time, but I'm afraid I must be off."
Goku was still rubbing his jaw, where Vegeta hit him. "Where are you going, Piccolo?"
"I am to rendezvous with Dende in five hours at his 'bachelor pad.' You plonkers are welcome to join me in my journey, if you wish."
"Wheeeeeee! A journey!" squealed Goku, his eyes full of glittery glee.
"Oh, hell no!" said Vegeta.
"I have to put my foot down on this, Vegeta. We're going!" Goku stamped his foot, authoritatively.
"That's MY foot, baka." Vegeta punched Goku in the face AGAIN.
"Uhm, hello?!" Hey whaddya know, it was the fox-creature! She was still hanging around. The group turned to face her.
"What the hell happened to the plot?! Didn't this start out as a quest to cure Bulma's blindness?"
"Hmmmm." They all pondered this observation.
"Speaking of plot," said Vegeta, "where has my Fairy Princess son gone?"
"I can answer that," said the Aurora-fox. "After I ate Princess Trunks, he went off-stage. Duh. I think he's in his dressing room with Goten right now. There's a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door, so I think they'll be in there awhile. *cough* But he's not in the next few scenes anyway. Didn't ANYONE read their scripts?"
Mutterings of "Script? What script?" escaped the lips of everyone else in the poppy field.
"It figures," she sighed. "Well, let's go see Dende. That's SORT OF where the plot was headed in the beginning."
"Yay!" cheered Goku. Who was then hit in the face by Vegeta's fist soon after he opened his mouth. Goku's eyes dilated and his head swayed from side to side for a bit, before he shook himself back to consciousness.
British Piccolo watched this transpire with wide, frightened eyes. "Hey chap," he said to Vegeta. "You might want to stop whacking Goku on the noggin. The bloke is dotty enough."
"I'll dotty you!" was Vegeta's comeback. And it wasn't very good. And everyone knew it, but was afraid to even breath, lest Vegeta's rage would explode and kill them all. Hey, it could happen.
"La la la…" sang Goku. Oddly, his eyes were crossed, and one of them was half-shut. He continued speaking in the general direction of Vegeta's head. "Tell the dingleberry that he can't have the podderpoosh; it's mine."
Everyone gasped in horror.
Goku giggled, stuck his finger in Vegeta's ear, and said, "Schloop."
"Stop it!" and Vegeta slapped Goku across the face a few times. Goku's eyes closed and his chin sank to "their" chest. "Uhhh, Kakarott's sleeping now! Are we going to see Dende, or what?"
They all started walking into the forest. For the record, Chi-Chi has been completely preoccupied with a certain purple-haired boy from the future. Yeah, so she didn't notice Goku getting his head bashed in. Anyway…
After two hours of everyone walking in COMPLETE SILENCE, Aurora-fox thought to ask, "So where does Dende live?"
"The Lookout, of course. Any naff sod knows that Dende lives at the Lookout. But it's being fumigated. So we're going to the Ox King's Castle, where he's renting a flat."
"Really?" asked Chi-Chi. "I didn't know that. How convenient that the Ox King and Dende are both living in the Emerald Castle."
Yes, how convenient, indeed.
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A/N: Also convenient that I end the chapter before they really go anywhere or do anything. Hee hee hee.
You guys ROCK. Keep up the fabulous reviews! I swear I'll start incorporating your ideas next time ^__^